ForevaXena's FanFic . . .

Infidelity

by Warrior Judge

OWNERSHIP DISCLAIMER: The characters of Xena, Gabrielle and Perdicus belong in their entirety to Universal/MCA, Renaissance Pictures, and all the other powers that be...Yada yada yada.  No copyright infringement is intended. I wrote this story at the urging of my muse; it should never be used for profit.

VIOLENCE: Surprisingly enough - No!

LOVE/SEX WARNING/DISCLAIMER: Rating NC - 17.  This story involves both love and sex between two consenting adult women. If you don’t know what the name was of the irritating blonde in "Dynasty" (in other words, if you’re under 18) or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something else or GO WATCH "ALLY McBEAL".

THANKS: To my BETA readers mentors and guides:

1. CJ Wells (You are the greatest)  - A brilliant Bard, in my humble opinion. Check out her installments FREEDOM and THE EMBRACE. They are amazing and have been a tremendous inspiration to me. Thanks, dear, for taking the time and the effort for me.

2. Noa (I’m proud to be your friend)  - For being there for me, putting up with my whining, for all your help.

3. CB  - Thank you so much for all your hard work and devotion...You have no idea how much I appreciate it.

AUTHOR’S NOTES:

1. In this story Perdicus wasn’t killed by Callisto, hence, he is alive and married to Gabrielle.

Comments & Feedback: Please! Pretty please, with sugar on top!

I haven’t seen her in a little over a year now. The reason for this visit is simply because I ran out of excuses. Gabrielle and I have been corresponding over the past year. She has been imploring me again and again to come and visit her. She wrote that she misses me. I was skeptical about it though, after all, why should she miss me? She has her husband who fills her heart...I don’t know...maybe I’m just bitter. Anyway, I kept making stupid excuses in order to avoid going to their home. I didn’t think I was capable of seeing them together. I still remember the pain that witnessing their marriage caused me.   

I set out to Potedaia at first light, and got to their home by noon. As soon as she heard Argo’s snorts, Gabrielle came running out of the house towards me. She looked absolutely radiant from what I hoped was joy upon seeing me. I dismounted Argo’s back and spread my arms, inviting her in.  She quickly closed the gap between us, and threw her arms around me, hugging me so tight I could barely breathe.

"Gods, Xena...It is so good to see you!" She exclaimed.

"It’s good to see you too, Gabrielle." I returned the compliment. In truth, I was glad to see her, married or otherwise. I missed her. She looked so different to me. She has changed so much over the past year. I guess being a married woman was the cause of this dramatic change I saw in her. She looked less childish, more of a matured woman. She didn’t look as young and naive as I’d remembered her. She was wearing this wide large cotton dress that most peasant women wear. I must admit it didn’t complement her figure the way her traveling outfit had. Above the dress, an apron was wrapped around her waist. She looked like a wife.

"I’ve missed you so much, Xena...by the gods...look at you...You haven’t changed a bit...same old dashing Warrior Princess...leathers and all." She said unlocking her grip.

"You, on the other hand, look like a married woman." I said. I don't know what ever possessed me to say such an ugly thing to her. There was a split moment of awkward silence and then she smiled and said:

"Well, you know, Xena, I AM a married woman." I was tempted to say ‘Thanks for rubbing my nose in it,’ but I stayed in control of myself.

"That, you are" I politely smiled back. "Where is Perdicus, anyway?" I inquired.

"He’ll be home for lunch any minute now." She told me. "Come inside, you caught me just when I was cooking lunch, I could use your help." She said cheerfully.

"Sure."

And so, she and I entered their house. We were both standing by the table, she was making the stew and I was cutting the vegetables for a nice salad. While engaging in the mundane action of cutting tomatoes I reflected back to the past year in which, once again, I’ve been traveling alone - without her. It took a lot of getting used to. Getting used to the silence that became my new companion. Getting used to doing everything alone, like sleeping, walking, and eating. Getting used to not being cared for. Getting used to the loss of my love. Getting used to the emptiness. These were hard things to get used too. I remember how easy it had been getting used to having her around. It’s all behind me now.

"So, how have you been?" She asked.

"Great!" I lied and smiled, coaxing both my eyebrows.

"What have you been up to?" She said with a mischievous smile on her face and placed the skinned and cut rabbit into the pot.

"You know... the same...fighting evil where ever I find it." I retorted, in a somewhat bored tone of voice.

"That’s good to hear." She sighed in relief. What an insolent...what did she think, that just because she left me I would lose it and became a warlord again? That I would lose my path without her keeping me on the straight and narrow? I can get along just fine without her...her vanity!  My mind shouted. She filled the pot with water and spices and placed it over the fire. 

"How does Perdicus treat you?" I tried to be as delicate as possible and so the question came out muffled. I wasn’t sure myself of what exactly it was that I asked.

"He’s great, just great." She answered and took a bowl out of the cupboard and placed it on the wooden table.

"That’s good to hear." I sighed in relief. That didn’t go unnoticed by her and I was glad for that. After the vegetables that I cut were in the bowl she poured a little olive oil and went to check on the stew. As she was making herself busy for the benefit of her husband’s lunch, I took another stroll down memory lane. I had escorted Gabrielle and her Perdicus back to her parents’ house, right after they were married. The smug looks on their faces when, Gabrielle told them she had married Perdicus, was humiliating. The first chance I had, I mounted my loyal mare and rode away as fast as I could, without so much as a farewell hug to Gabrielle. I felt helpless and defeated.  I remembered how hard I had tried to hate Gabrielle for her decision but I just couldn’t. I had loved her right from the beginning. And with each day that passed, I have grown to love her even more. She was so charming. My love for her has consumed me, she was all I could think of. For obvious reasons I’ve never disclosed my love to her.  She was my best friend. It appeared she was attracted to young men. She was too young for me. I was afraid it would violate the trust she placed in me, so I kept quiet. And then he came along and took her from me...and with such ease. It drove me insane. I knew in my heart that had I seduced her, she would have been on her knees pleading with me to take her...me and my integrity...I should have seduced her while I had the chance.

I sat at the kitchen table and she sat next to me, while we waited for the stew to cook.

"So, have you found a new traveling companion?" She asked, trying to make it sound as if she didn’t really care one way or the other.

"As a matter of fact I did" I lied to her again. "Her name is Mylila, She is wonderful, such a bright, vibrant and talented young woman." I praised.

"Oh...why didn’t she come with you?  I would have loved to meet your new friend." She said with an even tone.

"I didn’t want to impose, really." I immediately answered, thanked the gods I could lie so well and so quickly.

"Nonsense, next time you visit, bring her with you. Every friend of yours is a friend of mine." She used her insisting voice. "Come on, Xena, what are you afraid of, that she wouldn’t pass my test?" She teased.

"I didn’t realize she was supposed to...I mean, I’ll bring her over next time."  I said and was already planning the next pack of lies I would tell Gabrielle the next time I visit her. At that moment the door opened and Perdicus entered. Gabrielle ran to him and fell into his arms. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard on his lips. I was hoping she was just doing it to make me jealous and that her marriage wasn’t as good as it appeared to be. 

"And hello to you too, Gabrielle" He chuckled after they broke the kiss. I didn’t have it in me to look at them kiss. Gabrielle was laughing, and she looked happy. I wished it could be me who was making her happy.

"Look who came to see us." She waved her hand towards me. I rose up and stood in front of him. I stretched my arm and offered it to him. After a moment of hesitation he shook it.

"Xena." He nodded.

"Perdicus." I couldn’t help but notice the chilly welcome he gave me. He reminded me of his father in law.

"Lunch is ready." Gabrielle announced and we all sat down to eat.

As we were sitting at the table eating lunch, Gabrielle inquired about my adventures of the past year. I told her everything that happened to me using the most colorful descriptions. I didn’t forget to mention "Mylila" every now and then - I am a good liar. Gabrielle looked at me with glaring green eyes. She was very eager to know every little detail. Perdicus’ looks at Gabrielle and his evident lack of concern didn’t elude me. He was afraid I would seduce his wife with my heroics. I saw him placing his hand over hers as if to show me she was his. After a few moments of silence he turned to me:

"So, Xena, how long are you planing on staying here?" He asked with a strained voice.

"Three days, dear." Gabrielle responded before I managed to.

"I see," He said thoughtfully. "I’ll get the bedroom next to ours ready for you." He said, wiped his mouth with a piece of cloth and left. Gabrielle and I kept eating in silence. I felt as if she was a stranger to me. As if she was no longer the Gabrielle I used to know and love. She looked like a farmer’s wife and not a traveling Bard. I felt like I didn’t know who she was anymore. I began to wonder whether I’ve ever truly known her. She was Perdicus’ now. It seemed to me that when she wasn’t with me, I didn’t know who she was. Was my Gabrielle still there?  Have I really lost her for good?

After we finished eating we cleared the table together and began washing the dishes. There was this inexplicable tension between Gabrielle and myself and I desperately needed to break it. And so, while washing the dishes I splashed some water on her. She froze on the spot, then turned her head slowly towards me, her eyes narrowed and without warning she splashed back. The water war began. Then I saw it - that particular spark in her eyes, that special mischievous look on her face...My Gabrielle was still in there. By the time Perdicus walked down the stairs we were completely wet from head to toe, standing in puddles and giggling like a couple of school girls. Upon seeing him both Gabrielle and I stifled as if on cue.

"What’s going on here?" He asked. I immediately restored my stoic expression.

"Nothing." I answered in a dangerously low voice.

"I’ll clean it up dear." Gabrielle offered in haste.

"I’m going to the blacksmith. Can I trust you two alone together?" He asked and placed his hands on his waist. Just before my jaw dropped, for I thought he meant something else, he added, "When I come back I expect to see the house still standing." He sounded like a king in his domain. Since it was his domain and since I was a guest in it, I didn’t retort and contained the look of death I give to people for talking to me like he did.

"Good-bye, Gabrielle." He said and placed a quick kiss on her lips. "I’ll be back at dusk."

"Bye." She replied.

After he left, Gabrielle and I sat down at the kitchen table and talked.

"He sounds extremely bossy." I pointed out.

"So are you." She retorted without hesitation  "Besides, he usually isn’t like that, I don’t know what came over him today." She went on pensively.

"Are you truly happy, Gabrielle?"

I just had to ask. After careful contemplation she answered "Yeah, I am."

"Is something bothering you?" I gently asked and covered her small hand with mine.

"Well, I’m not sure I should share those kind of issues with you, Xena." She evaded my direct look.

"How do you mean?" I questioned.

"It’s a matter that is private and reserved only to a man and his wife." She responded.

"I’m your best friend. You can consult with me...I have a range of experience in handling men, Gabrielle." I chuckled and moved my hand from hers.

"Well...I’m feeling a little bashful telling you this..." She said quietly and lowered her head. The subject had been built up so much I was dying to know what was going on between them.

"Come on Gabrielle, this is me." That was all she needed to hear, she finally gave up.

"We haven’t been intimate with each other for a little over a moon now." She almost whispered. She was still averting her gaze from mine. That was just a little more than I needed to know. She expected me to advise her about their love life while I thought she should have been my lover instead? A sharp pain pinched my heart when I realized that when he wasn’t making love to her it bothered her. It occurred to me that, she needed him to make love to her, she desired him.

"Why do you think that is?" I tried to conceal my sorrow.

"I guess routine...we became accustomed to one another. He doesn’t approach me and I fear his rejection." Came her quiet and shy response.

"I don’t think you should wait for him. I think you should initiate lovemaking. " I said, trying to smother the pain that was pounding in my heart. I couldn’t believe I would betray myself this way, plunging a dagger into my own heart for Gabrielle’s happiness.

"You think?!" She asked in obvious skepticism.

"Sure, perhaps he wants you to show him you desire him." I suggested and swallowed hard.

"Well, if things don’t change in a week’s time, I’ll give it a try." She decided.

Gabrielle made both of us tea. As we were sitting and sipping, she asked me about Mylila. Wasn’t she a bit jealous? Didn’t it hurt her that I had found another friend, someone who took her place in my life? When she kept asking me about her, I thought to myself that if I were in her position I wouldn’t want to hear about that. Then again, I am in her position already. Maybe knowing is preferable to not knowing, because then, you’re in a position of facing the whole truth and dealing with it. I was so frustrated in light of her indifference. Besides, I wanted to tell her about Mylila not just to make her jealous but because I didn’t want her to think I was alone. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of feeling superior to me because she succeeded in finding someone and I didn’t. I also didn’t want her to pity me. I wanted her to know that I too have a significant other in my life.

I told Gabrielle that Mylila was simply amazing and that she made me happy. I told her that I feel as if I had found my true soulmate. Her indifference to that statement was eating me up inside, I was miserable.

Time passed and the sun set. Perdicus was home again. He looked cheerful and relaxed. After dinner they retired to their bedroom and I walked alone to mine. As I was lying in my bed, staring into the dark, I was trying to make new resolutions. Such as: I’ll never set foot in their house again and how I have to forget about Gabrielle. Facing the fact that I had to put it all behind me and move on. Suddenly, I began hearing voices coming from their bedroom.

At first I heard Gabrielle giggle and some muffled voices conversing. Then it was quiet again. But it didn’t last long. I heard creaking and squeaking noises from their bedroom. I knew it was their bed that made those noises. Soon after, I heard familiar rhythmic knocking sounds from the wall behind my head. That was undoubtedly their bedpost knocking against the wall. I knew it was Perdicus thrusting into Gabrielle that made those sounds. As I was cursing myself for having such acute hearing, I heard them moaning and whispering. There was no denying it Gabrielle and Perdicus were making love. Fuck me and my big mouth...what was I thinking...giving her marital advice?  I thought to myself. The moaning and groaning grew louder, and the louder they became, so did the pain in my heart increase. I pressed my hands hard against my ears so as to block the sounds of lovemaking from reaching my ears.  Alas, it was no use. They were too loud, the wall was too thin and my hearing too good.  Even though I fought it, silent salty tears began to stream into my eyes and down my face. In my mind’s eye, I could see him touching her, mounting her, taking her. In my mind’s eye, I could see Gabrielle’s face glowing with sheer pleasure. I was consumed by endless strife. I heard them climax together. Her cries of ultimate pleasure pierced my ears. And then I heard them steady their breathing. Something inside me died. Then a blissful silence descended again. Thank you silence. I cried myself to sleep with one last thought in my mind: You should have kept your stupid pathetic and gullible heart to yourself, Warrior Princess.

I woke up just a little after sunrise. I washed my face in the water basin, put on my leathers, breastplates, boots and weapons and went down stairs. Gabrielle and Perdicus were already downstairs sipping tea.

"Good morning, Xena." Gabrielle greeted me absolutely radiant. I could recognize the glow of satisfaction on her beautiful face.

"Morning." I greeted reluctantly. I had already decided I would tell them I’m going fishing and never come back.

"Would you like some tea?" Perdicus offered in a surprisingly nice manner. He had such a smug look on his face. Now it made sense to me why he made my room with such haste and eagerness, without offering to let me sleep someplace else. He wanted me to hear him taking her. It wasn’t Gabrielle who initiated last night’s lovemaking, for she told me herself she would wait a week before approaching him, it was Perdicus who initiated it.

"No, thanks." I politely declined. The truth of the matter was that I didn’t want to tarry in their house one moment longer.

"Gabrielle?" "I was thinking, maybe I’ll go fishing and bring some nice succulent fish for lunch." I forced myself to smile.

"Great, I’ll come with you. It’ll give us some time to catch up." Had I tried to reject her suggestion, I would have risked raising her suspicions. So, in light of my original plan’s failure, I decided I would get out of there in the auspices of darkness, right after bedtime. Listening to them encoring in their bedroom was too much for me.

Perdicus informed Gabrielle he would be back home for lunch after he ran some errands.

Gabrielle and I rode on Argo’s back to a nearby river. As we were both sitting on the riverbank tossing our fishing rods, we began a conversation.

"Perdicus and I are planning on having a baby." She told me.

I knew it was inevitable, that it was only a matter of time before they would start a family. But since I seemed to have moved beyond the pain I was indifferent to her statement. 

"I heard you working on it last night." I pointed out with a smirk. Gabrielle blushed.

"I’m sorry about that..." She apologized and looked away.

"You shouldn’t be," I said with an even tone "I’m happy for you"

"Are you?" She suddenly asked.

"Sure, wouldn’t you be happy for me if..."

"Of course, why wouldn’t I" She said almost angrily. Her reaction puzzled me.

"No reason, none what so ever." She pulled her fishing rod out of the water and then cast it again. She seemed restless. I didn’t know what agitated her so much but she was far from being at ease. A few more moments went by. Gazing at the mesmerizing water and the sun making its first steps in the morning’s sky, I took a stroll down memory lane, to the night Gabrielle and Perdicus had gotten married. It had been the saddest day of my life. I had tried to do my best not to lose my mind. The thought of him mounting her, stabbing her with his sex member made me feel despair and agony. I had slept that night by a nearby lake. I had tried not to think about them in each other’s arms. A terrible regret sank into my heart that it was him who was teaching her the mystery of love and not me. Being that I’m not a noble person, I had wished she wouldn’t like it. I had wished he had hurt her. I had hoped she wasn’t being pleasured. At one point I had began to sing out loud so as not to hear myself think. I had wished him dead. Up until now I didn’t understand why in the gods names did I save him from Callisto. I should have let her kill him.  

"What’s bothering you, Gabrielle?" I finally asked.

"YOU!" She snapped.

"Me? What did I do?" I looked at her in disbelief.

"You don’t care...I left you and in no time at all you replace me with another ... without feeling ..."

"It was your choice to get married. What did you expect, That I’d roam the country side alone for the rest of my life because you got married?" Now I was pissed off. I couldn’t believe the nerve she had to expect me to remain alone. I almost felt sorry Mylila was just a figment of my imagination.

"I expected you to show me that you’ve been missing me; to show me that you’ve been hurting because I left!" She exclaimed.

"WHAT? Why should I ...You didn’t show any of it. You just made the decision to get married and walked out on me in one day. Why should I be sorry?" I was really anxious to hear her answer to this one.

"I thought you cared about me, that I was important to you." She sounded defeated. Her voice was faint and again she wasn’t looking at me.

"Well that makes two of us." I said and immediately regretted it.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" She yelled dropping her fishing rod to the ground.

"Forget it." I muttered and waved my hand, dismissing the entire conversation.

"No, I won’t. Explain yourself Xena. You owe me that much." She pointed at me with her index finger. I couldn’t understand how she dared say I owed her. I had given her way more than I had owed her. I had saved her husband’s life. I had released her from my grip so that she could marry him and be happy. That’s right, I released her. If I hadn’t given her my blessing, she wouldn’t have married him she would have stayed with me. If anything, she owed me.    

"I don’t owe you a thing, Gabrielle, not anymore." I hissed.

"Don't give me that. You are my best friend. Speak to me like an adult." This time she turned her entire body to face me.

"What do you want from me, what do you want me to say, Gabrielle?" I was lost. I didn’t understand what the point of this conversation was. What was she hoping to achieve? Did she want me to say I was sorry for not being more sensitive towards her, for not saying that the separation caused me strife? I wouldn’t dream of giving her that pleasure, certainly not after what she had done to me.

"To show me that what we had was special to you, to say it meant something to you." She sounded almost broken.

"‘What we had?  Just what was it that we had, Gabrielle?" I knew I shouldn’t have said it. I knew I had hurt her, but I wanted her to hurt like she had made me hurt. She looked at me and I could see unshed tears in her eyes. Once she gained control of her emotions I heard her mutter with a faint voice:

"Nothing, it appears."

"Is that what you really think?" The fear was evident in my voice. She waited a few moments then she nodded her head. She wouldn’t allow me to look into her eyes. "We had each other...Now you’re no longer mine." It sounded almost like an accusation.

"What nerve you have, you were the one who left. You had me and instead of keeping me, you gave me up for him"

"Why didn’t you try to convince me to stay?" She rose to her feet at that point. I guess she needed to feel like she was in control.

"It wasn’t my job. You are a grown up. You should have made your own decisions, take responsibility and face the consequences. You knew it was either him or me and you chose him. What are you bitching about anyway? You have a home a husband...love..." I was now standing in front of her. I wouldn’t let her defeat me.

"Let’s just drop it. I don’t want to talk about it anymore ... you’re impossible." She threw her hands in front of her and turned around, her back facing me.

"Did you want me to stop you?" I involuntarily sighed. I wanted to place my hands on her shoulders and press her back against my heart. But I didn’t dare. 

"It would have been nice if you tried, just to show me you cared. Don’t get me wrong I love Perdicus and I wanted to be his wife... I still do."

If she hadn’t add that last sentence, I would have gone down on my knees, held her tight in my arms and told her how much she meant to me, how much I missed her, how much I needed her to be with me. But because she did say it, I poisonously said "So, everything worked out just fine for you, rejoice."

"It seemed that everything worked out just fine for you as well. You have Mylila..." her voice trailed.

"Damn straight. She is the most amazing young woman I’ve ever met. She is beautiful, mature for her age, she’s an excellent warrior and has a pure unselfish heart. I couldn’t have found a better companion. I love her" I used the warmest, most affectionate words to describe Mylila in order to cause Gabrielle pain. I never told Gabrielle I loved her. Alas, since she loved Perdicus I knew it didn’t work. To attempt it was ridiculous, pathetic and useless.

"So, she is your best friend now?" There was no emotion to her voice, but her bowing head gave away her true feelings. She was jealous because I had found someone better than her to accompany me.   

"Correct. She makes me happy and the fact that she knows what she wants is most refreshing." I hit her where I knew it would hurt. I showed no mercy just as she had shown me no mercy when she married him. 

"What do you mean ‘she knows what she wants’...do you mean contrary to me?" Her anger forced her to turn back and face me again. 

"Well, Gabrielle, you have to admit. First you leave him to be with me then you leave me to be with him. What exactly was I to you, a nice adventure before your marriage? Thought you’d see what the world looked like outside Potedaia before you settle down?" I gave her a taste of my bitterness.

"That’s not fair. You know that’s not the truth!" She exclaimed.

"Then, what is the truth?" I asked calmly. It wasn’t a demand.

"I don’t know ... I just don’t know." She gave up.

"I don’t believe you." I retorted. I wasn’t satisfied. 

"Tough break...You know you didn’t even make an effort to stay in touch with me. If I hadn’t sent the first message you wouldn’t have come. All I ever got from you over the past year were a few short messages saying you were fine and that you wouldn’t be able to come and visit me."

"I have been busy saving the world. I wasn’t occupied with such an important task as fixing meals for my hubby, like you, Gabrielle." I spat out the words as harshly as I could. I wanted to make her pay for her choice. I had nothing to lose. I had already lost her.

"Not everyone is cut out to save the world, Xena." She swallowed the insult.

"Evidently...I don’t understand you. I’m the one who’s supposed to be mad. I trusted you and you left."  

"What are you talking about ‘trusted me’? You did nothing to prevent it. You didn’t put up a fight."

"Listen Gabrielle, life taught me that I have to pick and choose my battles. I never begin a fight I am not sure I’ll win. I wasn’t sure I could beat Perdicus so I didn’t try." My defenses began to crumble they had suffered too many hits from her. My shield can only take so much.

"So, the Warrior Princess is a coward who fears defeat." She said with a loud and angry voice. She closed the gap between us, and stood within arm’s reach. 

"What do you know about defeat, little girl? Have you ever tasted defeat? Do you think that being married makes you a grown up? Do you wanna talk about defeat...let me tell you about defeat...Defeat is lying in the bedroom next to my best friend’s and hearing her husband FUCKING her...that’s defeat!"

She slapped me hard on my face. I well deserved it.

"How dare you!" She shouted and I could see the knuckles of her fists whitening.

"It was tearing up my heart." I admitted, wailing. I didn’t have the strength to take anymore. It was too painful. I knew I should leave as soon as possible, never to return again. As for my feelings...I couldn’t find a reason to keep them inside me anymore.

"What are you saying?" She demanded. She was on the verge of losing it too. 

"I’m in love with you, Gabrielle!" I shouted. I saw her eyes widen in astonishment. She looked disoriented for a brief moment. My confession, so it seemed, shocked her and caught her off guard. Then she raised her hands and launched her fists to my chest and shoulders. In a frenzy, she pounded me over and over again. I tried to understand her rage and didn’t attempt to defend myself against her attack. I just stood there and took her violent assault. I tried to figure out why was she angry with me. I didn’t try to seduce married Gabrielle, I merely conveyed my love to her. As she kept beating me fiercely with her tight and raging little fists, she yelled:

"Coward! You fucking coward. How could you?" She was in turmoil and began to cry. She stopped pounding me and pushed me with such force I didn’t realize she possessed. I lost my balance and fell on my rear. I immediately stood back up on my feet.

"You loved me all this time and dared keep it from me?" She accused.

"I was afraid I would lose you. I thought you wouldn’t understand me." I tried to defend myself.

"I had a right to know how you felt."

"You were so young, so pure and naive...you looked up to me, admired me, trusted me. I didn’t want to take advantage of you." 

"Take advantage of me? Why you patronizing bitch!" She yelled. Never in my life did I know she was capable of such rage.

"I didn’t mean to patronize. It’s just that you didn’t seem to understand..."

"Understand? Why do you think I wanted to sleep next to you every night? Why, do you think, I was so eager to bathe with you? Why, in your opinion, did I walk around camp naked whenever we were in a secluded area?  Touched you so many times even when it wasn’t necessary?" She grabbed me by my biceps with both hands, and shook me hard, as if to wake me up from a nightmare. 

"Why didn’t you tell me anything, Gabrielle?" I was fighting tears now, but my voice creaked She loves me I acknowledged.

"I didn’t think the Warrior Princess, an undoubtedly experienced woman in this area, needed explanations for such displays. I was sure you understood but didn’t want me. I thought I failed seducing you...How could you miss it? All those women you had and you missed my making advances towards you...I don’t think there was a town or a village we passed that didn’t have a woman with whom you had slept with in the past."  She said sarcastically. She turned her back to me. 

"Did it bother you I had many women before I met you?"  I asked.

"Yes, it did. I hated myself for not being mature and experienced enough for you to want me...I wanted to acquire some experience" She confessed, still hiding her face from me.

"So you married Perdicus, of all people, for experience?!" I didn’t mean to mock her, but I just couldn’t contain my laughter. She swiftly turned to face me and raised her fist in order to hit me again. This time I was ready for her attack and I easily managed to grab her fists in mid air.

"It wasn’t for experience, I married Perdicus because I was his first like he was mine and he was willing to give me what you wouldn’t  - Love." She sneered, her face was mere inches away from mine.

At that point I let go of her fists, wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed her hard against my body. She tried to resist me. She tried to break free from my grip but I held her tight. After a few short moments she gave up her fight and she began responding to my proximity, succumbing to my warmth. She began surrendering to me. I lowered my head towards her. Her lips were so close to mine. I could feel her scorching breath burning my lips. All rational thoughts escaped my mind. I lowered my head until my lips reached hers. As I was kissing her lips gently, I was at awe at how soft they were. She returned the favor and kissed me as well. The sensation of her beautiful crimson lips moving against mine, gently sucking, and pressing was overwhelming. She kneaded and nibbled my lips passionately. I could feel how gluttonous she was towards me. Her tongue pierced my lips and penetrated my mouth. Her tongue caressed mine, my teeth, and my inner lips, leaving no place untouched. I felt her small hands wrapping around the back of my neck and her fingers delving into my hair. She pressed her body even harder against me, as if she wasn’t getting enough. She was so sensuous, so passionate and so loving. 

"What are you doing, Gabrielle?" I asked her after we broke off the kiss.

"Kissing you." She panted heavily. Once she finished uttering those two words, she claimed my lips once again and kissed them furiously.

After a few long moments we came up for air once more.

"You are a married woman, Gabrielle." I breathed she was still in my arms. Her body was still burning against mine. She wanted me.

"I don’t care, make love to me, Xena." I could clearly hear the voracity in which she spoke.

"What about Perdicus?" I somehow managed to say in between the rain of delicious kissed she bestowed upon me.          

"Don’t deny me, Xena, please. I have been waiting to make love with you for way too long." She said with a husky pleading voice. "It is you I want. It was you I’ve always wanted. Every time he made love to me I would close me eyes and fantasize it was you." Gabrielle was ecstatic with need and love. It was so strong and eminent she didn’t even allow me the benefit of taking her clothes off. She pulled herself away from my tight grasp and with struggling fingers she unlaced her dress. I could see her transformation before my eyes, from a farmer’s wife to a gorgeous, sensual and erotic woman who had a mind of her own. A woman owned only by her passion and her heart. And there she was, standing naked before my starved eyes. I involuntarily licked my lips at the sight that was revealed before me. From all the women I’ve been with, she was by far the most beautiful. Before I loved her I hadn’t known what love was. Before I desired her I hadn’t known what desire was. Her creamy, supple breasts insolently teased me as they swayed from side to side. Her nipples stood erect like soldiers in a parade. My gaze wandered down her body and nestled on her blonde curly triangle of womanhood. I took a sharp intake of breath upon seeing her womanhood. Gabrielle didn’t stand away from me for long, she soon began approaching me, swinging her hips provocatively, and shaking her breasts seductively. She wasn’t the innocent little Gabrielle I used to know. She was a grown sensuous woman who commanded the art of seduction. She was experienced in lovemaking. Well at least with a man. There are many differences between making love with a man and making love with a woman. Be that as it may, I knew she would touch me with experienced hands nonetheless. I had regrets though, that I wasn’t her first lover, that I wasn’t her only lover. That I wasn’t the one who taught her the secrets of lovemaking, that I wasn’t the one with whom she experienced her first climax. But I would be her first woman, her only woman. I’ll be the one who will teach her the secrets of lovemaking with a woman.

Gabrielle finally reached me. I welcomed her with outstretched arms. She pressed her warm, naked body to my leathers and breastplates. Her lips found mine again. She rested her arms on my shoulders. She touched me as if I was hers. Her lips relentlessly went on with their explorations and reached my neck. All the while her hands lowered from my head to my breastplate. With her little fingers she rid me of my armor in no time. Next she moved to dispose me of my leathers. Finally, she knelt before me and took off my boots. She was breathtaking. She made my heart twitch and ache with that simple gesture.

"Do you love me as much as you love Mylila?" She asked while still kneeling before me. When she tilted her head to look at me I saw hurt and fear in her emerald green eyes.

"There is no Mylila." I paused and she rose back up. "I made her up to make you jealous. I’ve been traveling alone for the past year. You are the only one Gabrielle." I admitted. I bent down and placed one hand beneath her knees and the other behind her back and lifted her, carrying her in my arms.

"You liar." She chuckled and slapped my shoulder mischievously. I laughed as well while scanning the bank for a patch of grass on which to place Gabrielle and make love to her. "But I must confess too. All the things I was telling you that suggested that I love him- I said them in order to make you jealous as well. I love you, Xena. It has always been you. You are the love of my life, never doubt that." She said seriously. Our eyes were locked with an intense look. Finally I found what I was looking for, a patch of grass which seemed comfortable enough to lay on. I gently deposited Gabrielle on it. I could barely restrain myself from taking her. I could feel my excitement dribbling down my thighs. I laid on top of Gabrielle, the warmth from her body was incredible. My breasts fell upon hers. I claimed her lips with mine again. I couldn’t get enough of her sweetness. Our tongues swirled around one another, unable to part. The need in my groin grew and my sex began throbbing. I needed to relieve some of the sexual pressure there. I began to thrust and grind my clit against her thigh, leaving wet trails with my essence. It was so good and much needed, but soon I stopped for I was keeping in mind to please her first. Today I’ll show her the difference between men and women, between Perdicus and me.

"Don’t stop, Xena, take what you need." She said and cupped my face with her gentle little hands.

"My pleasure is pleasuring you, Gabrielle." I declared hoarsely. She growled at the sound of my words. I began kneading her chin with my lips. Then I nibbled her throat. She arched and pressed her breasts harder into mine. I knew they were craving attention.  Good things come to those who wait I jest. I went on kissing licking and nipping her neck and ears with all the passion I had in me. 

I finally made it to her breasts. They were already swollen when my mouth arrived. I took one nipple into my mouth and gently sucked the hard tip. Her body swayed beneath me, arching for more contact and heat. She was so erotic I was afraid I might come at that very moment. I switched breasts, and suckled the other nipple. Gabrielle’s moaning and groaning milked my sexual core efficiently. I was never that wet in my life. My clit was so swollen it hurt. Don’t forget to satisfy her first I reminded myself. I descended even further and reached her taut, sculpted abdomen. I devoured it, smearing my saliva everywhere. I needed more so I bit her, restraining myself not to bite her too hard, to maintain the balance between pleasure and pain. Her hips began thrusting against my breasts, offering me her arousal. At last, my mouth reached the junction of her hips and thighs. I placed a single kiss on her clit, forcing her hips to rise.

"Gabrielle, I’m gonna fill you like he never filled you." I husked and looked at her through hooded eyes. Gabrielle was beside herself at that point. All she wanted was that I take her that I release her. I knew that in order to ready her for my planned ministrations so as to cause her as little pain as possible, I needed to make her as wide and wet as humanly possible.

"This is how women love each other, Gabrielle." I drew her attention, and cupped her inner thighs opening them as wide as they would allow. Then, I parted her folds exposing her swollen clit. I stroked it with my tongue. I could feel a fresh and hot secretion streaming out of her opening and onto my chin. I kissed her sex’ with my lips and delved my tongue into her penetrating her, reveling in her essence. Her taste was like nothing I have ever tasted before. It was better than the food of the gods. Her scent hit me with such power. Gabrielle screamed as I invaded her opening with my tongue. In order to intensify the sensation I was bestowing upon her, I wiggled my tongue fiercely inside her. She raised her hips for more friction and another scream escaped her mouth.

"He’s never loved you like this has he?" I panted. "He never licked your core with his tongue, did he?" I lapped back to her waiting nerve bundle and licked it hard and fast. I could feel her climax pending. She was secreting juices like a volcano.  I had my fingertips hovering over her opening, examining her.

"No!" She answered grunting.

"I knew he never loved you this intimately...only I would love you like this, sweetheart." I kept licking her erection, monitoring her breathing her wetness. I wasn’t about to let her come yet. I needed to fill her. When I felt she was on the verge of cresting I slowed my ministrations. She was frustrated.

"Please, Xena. I’m so close...Love me till I explode...please darling...give..." She sweetly implored. Her cute pleading made my heart melt and I almost gave in and released her.

"Not yet, sweetheart." I smiled "I have yet to take you to the ultimate height I know I can take you to." My voiced carried a promise. I tongued her clit with maddening slowness. While I was doing so, I entered her sex canal with one finger and pumped in and out slowly. She was building a steady rhythm with me. After a while I grazed another finger with her wetness and entered it into her as well. Then a third and a forth finger penetrated her. She was bucking and thrusting her sex onto my fingers and tongue. Her back was arched and her breathing ragged. I saw sweat bead on her body even though it was quiet chilly at the lake. Then all of a sudden I stopped. I took out my fingers from within her and raised my head from her mound. She almost cried with frustration and disbelief.

"Why are you stopping, don’t you love me?" Her mesmerizing green eyes held unshed tears.

"I love you more than life, Gabrielle." I said. I took the hand that I loved Gabrielle with and rubbed it against my own sex, smearing and grazing it with my own juices. After my hand was satisfactorily covered with our nectars I guided my slippery hand to her opening.

"I’ll be gentle with you, sweetheart, it might hurt a bit." I softly told her. With my other hand I widened her opening, stretching the tight ring of muscles. I penetrated her again with all four fingers as Gabrielle writhed with desire. Then as I was gently stretching her opening and sucking her erection, I entered my thumb as well. Inside her, I fisted my hand.

"Did he ever fill you like this?" I panted. I began sliding my fist slowly further inside her.

"NO!" She shouted and increased the pace of her thrusting against my fist and mouth. As a response I pumped harder.

"You’re all mine, Gabrielle, only mine!" I possessed her, owned her. I kept rotating my fist inside her, embedding the sensation of her warm tunnel contracting around me into my soul. 

"I’m YOURS." Gabrielle was on the verge of climaxing. I impaled her harder with my fist and sucked her rock hard clit in a frenzy. I saw her take a deep breath and then a violent orgasm claimed her. I didn’t stop my ministrations. I bit her clit with my teeth and taking her again. She climaxed again screaming my name so loudly she drove away the small animals by the lake. I showed her no mercy and went on stabbing her core and after a few brief moments she came again, her entire body wildly shaking.

"Enough." Her voice was labored and cracked and her body was limp from exhaustion. "I can’t take anymore." Only then I stopped. I carefully pulled out my fist so as not to hurt her. I laid myself beside her and gathered her in my arms. It was a soft and loving embrace.

"I love you, Xena." She smiled a faint smile. "He never made me feel remotely what you make me feel. You are my other half. You are the one and only." She said just before she closed her eyes and drifted off into a light sleep. As she was sleeping I looked at her peaceful face. I simply reveled in her afterglow. As I was resting my gaze upon her I kept on thinking how precious she was to me. How I couldn’t live without her after what we had shared today, and how I would never let her go. 

After a short while Gabrielle woke up and when she saw me she smiled the most beautiful rich smile I have ever seen.

"I’m sorry, Xena, I didn’t mean to doze off. I realize you’re still hungry." She stretched and pressed her naked body to mine. "I’ll feed your needs, Xena." She whispered seductively and laid herself on top of me.

Gabrielle’s touches were delicate, tender and loving. Her hands were exploring, studying and pleasuring. She had me wonderfully with both her fingers and her mouth. By the second climax she bestowed upon me, she learned how to prolong my pleasure. At the beginning her touches were hesitating and unsure but the longer she loved me the more confident she became. She made love to me eagerly and passionately. When she licked my sex, a need arose in me to feast on her sex as well. I motioned to bring her core to my mouth as well. We both had each other with our tongues and peaked simultaneously. We both snuggled up against each other, naked exhausted and satisfied.

"The sun is about to set, Gabrielle." I noted.

ENDING NO. 1

"We have to get back to the house, Xena. Perdicus will be back soon." She said and sat up.

"What now?" I asked.

"We’ll fix dinner." She answered. She stood up and began gathering her undergarments.

"I meant between you and me." I stood up and began picking up my leathers from the ground.

"Oh...you meant that ‘What now’ . I don’t know, my love, it’s complicated. After all I am married to Perdicus."

"Then leave him." I didn’t understand what was so complicated. I love her and she loves me...It’s a no brainer.

"I wish it were that simple." She said matter of fact.

"What are you saying?"

"I don’t know, Xena. But know this, I love you more than anything, and I’ll be forever grateful to you for showing me how much you love me, but it’s not just about us. It’s also about Perdicus and my parents."

"I see." My voice sounded as if it was from afar.

"Let’s just get to the house, my love, it’s getting late."

When we got to her house, we realized that Perdicus had already returned and was waiting for us. He approached Gabrielle and gathered her in his arms into a tight embrace.

"I have missed you so, Gabrielle. I don’t know what I would have done without you." He told her. She was facing me from over his shoulders, while he was embracing her. Agony, torment and guilt distorted her beautiful face. She was seeking understanding, she was seeking approval. When he finally released her from his grip she turned to me.

"Xena, may I speak with you outside?" She said. I knew where this was headed. Good things never come after these kinds of sentences. A battle inside me began, should I tell Perdicus I had made love to his wife all day or should I keep my mouth shut? I knew if I told him about his wife’s infidelity he wouldn’t take her back...he was a proud man. I knew Gabrielle would be angry with me if I did. I wasn’t sure whether she would stay with me after Perdicus left her because of my disclosure or not. Gabrielle would never forgive me for that. I knew it wasn’t my place to tell Perdicus of what happened between his wife and me but Gabrielle’s. I knew I didn’t have a saying in the matter. It’s Gabrielle’s life and she is the one who would have to live with the consequences of the aftermath. I sealed my lips and followed her silently to the stables where Argo was staying.

"Promise me you’ll let me talk without interrupting me." She said.

"I can’t promise that." I retorted.

"Please, Xena." She pleaded.

"I promise." I gave in.

"I can’t leave him, Xena, I can’t do this to him. He won’t survive without me. It’ll crush him. You’re a strong woman, you’ll get over me. I know you’ll find new love in no time at all. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair if I left him for you, he had me first." After a small pause she went on saying her words that were killing me slowly and painfully inside. "You should have seen my parents eyes when I told them I have given up on you and would marry Perdicus. They looked as if they were resurrected. I have never seen them so happy in my entire life. I can’t leave with you again. It’ll kill them. I’ve decided to stay with him, Xena. This is the right thing to do. I know there is no use asking your forgiveness, for you’ll never forgive me. There is no point in asking for your understanding either, for you’ve never walked a mile in my shoes. All I ask of you, my Warrior Princess, is that you won’t hate me". She was determined, even though I heard the tremor in her voice. She looked brave and strong to me at that time, in spite of the unshed tears I saw in her ever so beautiful eyes. I was proud of her.

"What makes you think I’m strong enough to survive losing you?!" I broke down and cried out loud like a little child. I was in despair. "Are you telling me you can survive the loss of me?" I accused her.

"I’m already dead inside, my only love, I died after I’d came down from the heaven you had taken me to, when I rested in your arms after the first time I had ever made love in my life. I died the moment it occurred to me we can’t be together. " Silent tears stained her face. I looked at her, as if trying to memorize her, imbed her image into my mind, into my soul. She was wearing the farmer’s wife’s clothes again. I preferred her naked.

"It was the first time I’ve ever made love in my life as well." I whispered.

Gabrielle opened the stable door. Argo and I went outside.

I mounted Argo. Gabrielle and I didn’t exchange anymore words. There was nothing left to say. I turned around, nudged Argo’s ribs with my heels, galloped as if I was chased by Hades and never looked back.

As I was riding away from her, I could feel Gabrielle’s eyes on my back, accompanying me out of her life for good.

ENDING NO. 2

"I have noticed." She replied lazily. She turned to me and placed her hand on my wet belly.

"Isn’t Perdicus supposed to be home already?" I asked and kissed her forehead.

"Yes, but Xena, let’s stay here for awhile longer." She so charmingly implored. "I don’t think I’ve had enough."

"Me either, but he might come looking for us here..." I argued and right then I hated to be the voice of reason.

"I don’t care. He’ll know sooner or later." She made a long pause, after which she exhaled a long breath of air and sat up, looking at me. "I’m leaving him, Xena. I know it a selfish thing to do but I love you and I want you. I’m putting my feelings and needs above Perdicus and above my parents. I want to be happy. I want to be with you. Will you have me back, Xena?"

"You know I will." I smiled and sat up as well, facing her. Her ample breasts caught my eye and I was mesmerized by the lovely sight. My stare didn’t escape her and she captured my lips with hers, pushing me gently by my shoulders down to grass.

We made love until darkness invaded the surroundings.

After sunset we put our clothes back on and strode together back towards Perdicus’ house. When we entered together, he gave us a look I will never forget. I could tell he knew. Gabrielle looked like a woman who came from love. The grass in her strawberry-gold hair, the way her clothes were hanging on her in a sloppy manner. Even her afterglow, the way she walked, the way she smelled, all those signs gave her away. Perdicus was no fool. He knew.    

"Have you brought any fish for dinner?" He asked Gabrielle.

"Oh...well...Xena failed to catch any." Gabrielle struggled with the words. I knew lying didn’t come easy to her, but she felt she had no choice, she was trying to spare him the fact that we had made love instead of fishing.

"Mighty, glorious and multiple skilled Xena FAILED to catch fish?  Why, I’ll be damned, how ever did that  happen?  Was she...distracted...by you, Gabrielle?"

"Maybe she was...too caught up in the conversation...."

"THE CONVERSATION...I see... did you two enjoy...CONVERSING?"

 He cut her off and said with a strained voice. He was close to losing it.

"Well,.." She tried but he cut her off again.

"Don’t Gabrielle...I cannot hear your lies. I know what you two did by the lake...I came back early...I saw you two together..."He burst into tears.

"By the gods" Gabrielle exclaimed. Then she turned to me and asked me to go out side so that she could talk to him alone. Just before I left their house I locked my eyes onto Perdicus’ and gave him the smuggest look I have ever given in my life.

I waited for her outside for about a candlemark or so. Then I saw her coming out of his house. I climbed on top of Argo and hoisted Gabrielle up behind me. As we turned and rode away I asked Gabrielle:

"What did you tell him?"

"That you are the only one." She muttered and smirked.

THE END

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