ForevaXena's FanFic . . .

Forever

by Trigar

Warning:  There is some slight coarse language used in the beginning of the story and that's about all.  Also, there is no blood thirsty depictions of violence so you can breath easier;-)   

Subtext:  Yes there is.  If the thought of two women in love offends you then perhaps this isn't the story for you.  However, there are no detailed scenes of sex so it's pretty much a 'clean' story.   

Now, if you made it through all those Disclaimers, Warnings etc...you can finally get comfortable, kick back and enjoy!!  And don't forget to feed the bard!! 

Cover by Deb Kern

(Click photo for larger image)

Kate stomped into her apartment in total frustration.  That no good son of a bitch Johnson stole her story right out from under her nose and passed it off as his own!  She couldn’t believe how Mr. Henrikson, her editor, could have even accepted that story as Johnson’s.  Robert Johnson couldn’t have crawled out of his gutter long enough to give a damn about his job let alone write a story that the manager was quoted as saying "superb!  Wonderful!  The best damn article I’ve ever read!"  Then, to add injury to insult, she lost the promotion of assistant editor to Johnson because of that one goddamn article.  Man was she pissed.

Slamming her apartment door shut behind her and literally kicking off her shoes, Kate made a B-line straight for the bathroom and her medicine cabinet where she knew the painkillers her doctor had prescribed were waiting.  It seemed that no matter what she did these days a splitting headache was always dogging her heels, refusing to let up.  Her doctor attributed her headaches to stress.  When she thought about it, it was very plausible.   

Since she moved here nearly a month ago, it seemed that everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.  Small things like a heel on her shoes breaking, which nearly made her break her neck to getting mugged the day before in broad daylight with several bystanders around refusing to help her. 

‘This god forsaken hell hole is nothing but a joke!’  She thought with disgust.

Enroute to the bathroom, she tossed her attaché onto her black leather couch not caring one way or another about its contents as they spilled over onto the floor.  Her mind was elsewhere.  She couldn’t help but thinking how all it seems she ever does since leaving everyone and everything she’s ever known behind for this miserable job was cry, cry and cried some more for her pitiful life to end.  The only thing that kept her hanging on was her dreams.  Or rather, one particular dream that has kept recurring nightly since she moved here.  A dream of a woman dressed as a warrior from ancient times that has come to save her time and time again.

The hauntingly familiar woman talked to her while she slept and soothed her ragged mind.  Other nights, the brave warrior woman battled the horrors of her dreams so that Kate could sleep more soundly at night.  Always in the dream, Kate reached out to her to try to stroke the long thick hair, tried to make any contact at all.  But each time, she always failed and awoke instead. 

And when she tried to talk to the warrior, she presumed by the lack of direct acknowledgement, her dream warrior could neither see her nor hear her.  It only made sense because despite her best efforts, Kate could never make out what the woman tried to say.  Odder still, upon rousing from her dream, she couldn’t even remember distinct facial features.    Only her fiery hair and loving eyes, which conveyed enough emotion and warmth to bring her comfort with their look alone, stayed with her upon waking up.  Still, night after night, the warrior woman returned to her dreamscape and protected her unerringly.

Opening the small medicine cabinet and fingering the tiny bottle of pills, Kate couldn’t dismiss the warm comfort flowing through her just by thinking about her dream.  The painful pounding in her head, which had brought tears to her eyes, had dulled to a constant throb.  She smiled inwardly at the effectiveness the dream had on her waking life as she closed the small, mirrored cabinet door.    

With a gasp of surprise, Kate dropped the bottle of pills into the sink as she came face to face with her dream warrior staring back at her from the other side of the mirror.  For the first time, Kate looked upon the beautiful face freely and without obstruction.  The woman was more beautiful than she could have imagined.  Her skin looked as smooth as cream and her lips were so alluring with their fullness she could almost taste them.  She felt her heart warm up to the green-eyed beauty that seemed to once again be talking to her.  A hopeful look crossed her face and then confusion.  As before, she could hear no words leave those beautiful lips. 

"What?  I-I can’t hear you."  She said to the mirror as her long fingers slowly caressed the smooth surface where the woman’s face began to fade.

"NO!  Please don’t go!"  Her eyes grew frantic as her other hand went to the mirror to try and hold the woman there.  It was fruitless.  The image, as sad as it looked for leaving, completely faded.  "No."  Came the strangled word from Kate’s lips as tears welled up in her eyes.  "No."  She whispered more softly as she felt the loneliness of her apartment engulf her like never before.  The dejected brunette felt her legs no longer wished to support the rest of her body.  Her fingers slowly squeaked down the surface of the mirror as her body slumped to rest upon the closed toilet seat.

Much to her dismay however, whenever she awoke from the dream a void always settled deep within her chest.  A sense of loss engulfed her as the love and compassion only her dream warrior could fill always went missing when the fiery haired woman left her.  As before, after each dream, the void came once again and settled in her chest.  But this time it seemed more consuming.  More total.  Never before had she seen her dream warrior in her waking life or gazed upon her full beauty.  She felt more drawn to her warrior than ever before.  Was she going crazy?  Was her mind bringing forth images in an attempt to make her life happier here?

"I don’t know!"  She sobbed into her hands without care as the pounding in her head returned ten fold.  The pain was unbearable.  Where were those damn pills?  One hand blindly reached out and fumbled around in the sink for several seconds before finding what it was looking for.  The top was quickly popped off and two pills were popped into her mouth.  She didn’t have time to waste on getting water to swallow the pills.  As they went down dry, their chalky taste barely registered on her taste buds.  She sat with her head tilted back and her eyes closed for a few more seconds.  The painkillers weren’t working fast enough.  She looked at the bottle of pills once again, hesitantly.  She popped the lid off once again and took two more pills. 

Kate was both physically and emotionally exhausted.  Her body cried out for sleep, but was too weak to make it to her bed.  Without thought, she slipped off the toilet and into the large bathtub.  Using her arm as a pillow, she curled up into a fetal position and fell asleep. 

As before, Kate’s dreams brought the female warrior to her.  Only this time, as in her bathroom mirror, the woman’s beauty was very visible and very comforting.  But something was different.  Though the love remained in those marvelous emerald eyes, there was something more... something infinitely sad about them. 

"What’s wrong?"  Kate asked knowing full well the woman couldn’t hear her.

"I’m losing you aren’t I?" 

Kate gasped in surprise.  Had that quivering voice been real?  Had it truly come from the beautiful warrior whom she now realized held her heart? 

"No.  I’m right here!  I’ve always been right here.  You look at me but you can’t see me."  Kate felt tears burning her eyes, she reached out once again to touch her, to let her know that she will always be by her side.  But she felt a tugging on her body holding her back just when she was less than an inch away. 

"NO!"  Kate cried out with a strangled, frustrated voice as she realized the dream was going to end.  The seconds crawled by and still she continued to dream.  The warrior continued to look at her with those sad eyes that had taken on a shimmering appearance as tears welled up.  Kate watched as she licked her lips before speaking again.  Her full, undivided attention was focused on her dream warrior as she waited to hear her beautiful voice again.

"They say it won’t be much longer now.  They never did have faith in your strength like I do."  The warrior paused a moment as she wiped a lone tear that had trickled its way down her cheek.  Suddenly, determined green eyes turned on Kate and burrowed into her soul with a fire that had been missing from her eyes earlier.  "Damn it Katelyn, you’ve never given up on anything in your life!  If you think I’m going to just sit here and watch you waste away you’re wrong.  You hear me?  I won’t let you!"

With that, Kate actually felt pressure on her shoulders as her warrior grasped them firmly.  This was an odd sensation.  She knew the warrior was not physically touching her as she could clearly see at least an inch separating their contact.  But still she could some how feel her.  This was definitely a new, exciting sensation.  Never before had anything remotely similar to what’s occurring now ever come close to happening. 

"Wake up damn you!  WAKE...UP!"  The warrior screamed in her face as she shook Kate gently, while burning tears marked their way down her face unchecked.

Kate’s mouth worked as if she were gasping for air.  The raw emotions she saw coming from this warrior so close yet so far were heart wrenching.  She felt as though a dagger had been plunged into her heart and slowly twisted for an added effect.  Could she really be the cause of such pain?  Just the notion pained her beyond words. 

Before her mind registered what was happening, she felt the sting of her own tears touch her eyes as she watched the warrior finally break down completely.  Kate watched on with an aching heart as the proud warrior’s head fell into her hands and her shoulders began to heave with the onset of racking sobs.  The fact that one minute they were within a breath of one another and then the next minute several feet separated them went unnoticed. 

Kate crumpled to her knees, her arms falling to her sides as her head hung low feeling ashamed of herself for making such a strong warrior weep.  The connection she felt, the empathy, burst the floodgates of emotions.  For several minutes, all that could be heard were the sobs of both women as they cried their hearts out in their respective worlds.  The warrior seemingly oblivious to Kate’s presence, while Kate was all too aware of the woman she loved so close...so close.

When next she opened her eyes, nothing but the emptiness of darkness stared back at her.  With the back of her hand, Kate quickly wiped away her tears and sprang to her feet in sudden fear.  "Hello?"  Kate yelled out into the darkness.  She hadn’t noticed the warrior’s disappearance.  With an ever-increasing fear, she noticed that her voice disappeared into the darkness without so much as an echo.  She brought her hand up to her face only to see darkness.  It was all encompassing and frightening beyond belief.  This had never happened to her before in any of her dreams.  The deadness of this newfound terror was more frightening than any monster her mind has ever or could ever conjure up.  Why she was so fearful, she didn’t know.  There was no reason for it and it was all the more frightening because it was illogical. 

She spun around frantically searching for anything at all that resembled life, a voice or a light, so long as she wasn’t alone.  She desperately needed something to bring a measure of comfort to her panicked mind.  "Warrior?"  She called out with fear as her head stared upwards hopefully.  "Please, don’t leave me!" 

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell Kate that she was on the verge of completely freaking out.  Her breathing came in shallow gasps as she began to hyperventilate, tears of panic slid down her face in torrents.  She didn’t know what had happened to her warrior.  What was she to do?  Where would she go?  Once again, she fell to her knees roughly and did the only thing she could think of doing.  She prayed.

And then it happened.  A bright flash of the purest, whitest beam of light struck out from the heart of the darkness and enveloped Kate in its radiance.  She gasped at its sudden, unexpected light and warmth.  She brought her hand up to shield her eyes but was surprised to find that the light didn’t hurt.  Even more surprising was the calmness she felt suddenly wash through her mind, body and soul.  Her tears of panic disappeared as a genuine smile found its way to her lips as she looked up into the light and marveled at its simple beauty.  And then she saw it before she heard it.

Tiny lights brighter than the main beam slowly twinkled their way down the aisle of light straight towards her.  She lifted herself from the floor as she regarded these tiny lights, which reminded her of fairies from her old childhood tales she was told in her youth.  Her smile broadened and her eyes sparkled as she began to giggle as though she were a young girl again.  With child like curiosity, Kate reached up an unafraid hand towards the tiny speckles of light as they drew closer to her.  That’s when she finally noticed the purest, most serene melody drift to meet her ears.

Transfixed by its enchanting melody, Kate searched the light for the source and realized it wasn’t actually a sound she heard with her ears.  Rather, it was a tune that reached into her heart and her soul making her feel the song hum within her.  And with that sound, flashes of memory flared to life as the tiny lights reached her and melted into her.

The memories mesmerized her, fascinated her.  She watched as she was brought into the world gasping for her first breath of air as her mother gave birth to her and carried on through her childhood.  Sometimes she found herself laughing at the memories she saw, while others made her feel pangs of guilt or sorrow.   Slowly, the childhood years progressed into her adult years.  As the images flew by in mere seconds, it seemed a like a lifetime to Kate as she relived every precious moment.  A lifetime she wouldn’t have traded for the world.

Walking through the passages of her memories, the one constant was the love that filled her life.  Family, friends; she was never without that wonderful feeling in those times long gone.  But no love was greater than the love she found in a field of berries when she met the fiery haired warrior woman.  And then with a gleeful realization, Kate smiled with the knowledge that the warrior was real and not just a construct of her mind. 

"Shaerelle."  She breathed with a clarity she lacked earlier.  A trembling hand unconsciously hovered over her heart.  "By the gods, you’re real."  She felt tears of happiness trail down her face.  "You’re real."  She said again as her chin quivered with joy while more memories of their life together floated by one after another bringing an unending supply of happiness with it.

But then she frowned slightly as she noticed something wasn’t quite right.  She knew all these memories to be the truth, but how could her childhood and all her adult memories be so primitive in comparison to the technologically advanced world she found herself in of late?  How is it possible that she could live where she was and in those ancient times her memories tell her to be the truth? 

And then she was shown her answer.  With shock, Kate watched as a promising young day turned into disaster.  She and Shaerelle were out by the falls enjoying the cool splash of water on a rare day off, where Kate played when she was just a young girl.  In a playful mood, Shaerelle chased Kate along the rocky shore, the two women laughing as they ran.  They ran amongst the familiar large boulders by the falls, occasionally climbing atop the ages old surfaces and hopped from one to the other.  Kate knew these boulders like the back of her and literally flew from one rock to the other, which she could have done blind folded.

After spending nearly her entire childhood playing amongst these ancient rocks, Kate knew every nook, every cranny and every little bump on its surface.  Even as an adult, these falls and its boulders were among her favorite places to be and readily shared it with Shaerelle who had not had the opportunity to grow up in these peaceful parts.  So sure of her steps, Kate barely paid any heed to her footfalls. The game of chase and tease progressed pleasantly until one misstep spelled disaster as Kate found herself falling. 

Kate’s eyes went wide in horror as she watched the foot of her memory self slip into a small niche and twisted sending her spiraling down from the top of the large rocks.  The look of happiness that had so freely adorned her playful face was quickly replaced by the look of utter fright and pain as she tumbled down head first into the unforgiving rocks.  And then, all went dark.

Slowly broken images drifted in and out of space.  Images of Shaerelle standing over her weeping uncontrollably and then another with a sad smile followed by one with helpless anger.  Through these last images while Kate lay in a coma, Shaerelle’s love was always present, helping her through the worst of times. 

Near the beginning, when a fever had gripped Kate’s comatose body, it was Shaerelle who stayed up with her night and day refusing sleep.  She massaged water and food down Kate’s listless throat all the while keeping damp clothes nearby to cool the heated skin until eventually the fever broke.

Even once the fever had broken, Shaerelle was there talking to her, reading to her.  Doing everything in her power to let Kate know she was there for her.  Trying to somehow reach her lover who had been caught in the grips of the long sleep. 

"My dreams..." Kate trailed off, understanding now her dreams had been a manifestation of her true reality, Shaerelle, trying to coax her back.  And her nightmare life was the true dream.

And then the melodious music that touched her soul played a stronger tune tugging at her soul all the more distracting her from her memories.  The beautiful music literally lifted her off of her feet, drawing her up into the light with the small fairy lights.  The calming peace once again flowed through her, making her forget everything else except her overzealous feelings to join the light.  She smiled, nearly forgetting her life.

"Please don’t leave me Katelyn."

Who...?  Kate’s smile faded as she dared a glance behind her and away from the light to catch a glimpse of the owner of that familiar voice.  "Shae?"

Hesitantly, Kate looked back towards the light, which still beckoned to her with an immense pull and then back to the transparent image of her beloved standing behind her.  The call of the light was so warm and inviting, promising her paradise in every sense.  No more turmoil, no more hardships, nothing but peace.  She felt herself being drawn in deeper to the light.

"I love you."

The whispered words floated to Katelyn’s ears.  She studied the fading image with a new understanding.  How could the light promise her paradise when her paradise was still in the real world?  Her love, her life, her everything was there begging her to come back.  She looked at the glistening image of Shaerelle and realized just where paradise truly was to be found.  Though the light was tempting, it didn’t have everything she needed.  It didn’t have the other half of her soul.  Within a heartbeat, Katelyn had made her decision.

Suddenly, Kate felt herself falling from the light.  Falling inexorably into the darkness below, zipping past fragmented images of her life.  She grew dizzy from their passing but continued her frightening descent into the unknown.  Her breathing grew rapid as her anxiety mounted. 

But then the faintest hint of a light far below her appeared.  The tiny spot grew larger and larger as she fell uncontrollably towards it.  The piercing brightness of the light was unexpected as she drew nearer, forcing her to shield her eyes with her hands.  And then, before she even realized it, she had fallen into the light and all was silent.

*****

A low groan filled the air.  ‘Was that me?’  She thought groggily to herself as she fought to open her eyes.  Slowly, painfully her eyes opened a crack as only darkness filled her vision.  ‘No!’  She thought with horror as she fought to open her eyes fully.  ‘I can’t still be trapped here!’ 

She struggled to move her head and was met with an unexpected weakness followed by a wave of dizziness, which forced her to shut her eyes once again.  But her first quick glimpse did reveal something encouraging that she just now vaguely remembered.  Before her eyes slammed shut, she had caught the faint glimmer of a torch in the corner of the room.  Hope sprang to her heart.  With strict determination, she fought back the dizziness and forced her eyes back open and looked for Shaerelle anxiously.

"Shaerelle?"  Her voice sounded so weak and insubstantial to her own ears as she uttered the name.  Had she truly said it out loud or only in her mind?  But then she received her answer.

"Katelyn?"  A sleepy, hopeful voice sounded off to her right as she sensed more than saw her lover stirring. 

Katelyn felt soft, warm hands enveloping her own cold hands giving them a gentle squeeze in the process.  "Oh sweet gods above...you’re awake!"  Shaerelle whispered in disbelief as her voice began to quiver with emotions.  "Katelyn..." She trailed off as she bent closer to the woman she loved and stared into the dark brown eyes she so dearly missed.  Seeing them, she felt the connection that existed between them flare back to life. 

As gently as she could manage, Shaerelle swooped down and hugged Katelyn to her greedily.  Feeling the weak response from her lover in return affirmed the realization that Katelyn truly had woken from her deep sleep.  Looking back at the weak woman laying on the bed, tears of joy pooled in her eyes and slowly spilled over as a shaky hand touched Kate’s soft face.  "I knew you’d come back to me."  Her voice quivered from trying to hold back the flood of emotions she knew was raging just below the surface. 

Feeling the soft touch, Kate responded automatically as her own hand came up and weakly held onto the hand against her cheek.  A slow smile found its way to her lips as she said.  "I have you to thank."  Then tears of her own slowly slipped down her face.  "If it wasn’t for your love..."

Kate trailed off as a long finger pressed against her lips.  Within those soft green eyes that hovered so near, Kate saw that Shaerelle knew how close it was, how near Kate had come to stepping over.  And the thought terrified her.  All that mattered now was that she was home, where she belonged, with the woman she loved.  And nothing would ever change the way she felt. 

THE END

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