ForevaXena's FanFic . . .

What Dreams Can Tell You

by Sarah Miller

Disclaimers: You know who these characters belong to. 

Violence: A small amount of violence from Gabrielle and her little stick.

Spoilers: Some material from the episode 'Is there a doctor in the house? The Prodigal, Destiny, The Debt II, One Against An Army, Forget Me Not, Altared States, The Furies, Tale of Two Muses, and Ties That Bind. 

Subtext: A little alt. material but all good fun. Nothing graphic here. No sex. Sorry. A story isn't based on that subject. Its the material that counts. Believe me this is one of my best. Possibly the best.

"She's dead," Hippocrates stated calmly.

"She is not dead. I wouldn't let her. C'mon Gabrielle wake up. C'mon wake up. C'mon wake up. You're scaring me wake up. Wake up. Gabrielle breathe. C'mon.... C'mon breath...maybe she just needs air. We need to get air into her lungs." She tilted Gabrielle's head back and breathed into her mouth. "C'mon breathe."

Gabrielle was still.

"Xena stop it. She's dead now. She's in another place." He tried to calm her down but it didn't help. It only made her more angry.

"Get out of my way! You don't know anything." Her voice was raising fast. She turned from him, back to Gabrielle and spoke softly. "Don't you listen to him, Gabrielle... C'mon. I know you're in there, prove it...you can show them." She blew air into her mouth again. She was cracking and she knew it. Her voice raised and she was yelling now. "C'mon, wake up and breath." Softer now. "You never ran from anything in your whole life. C'mon fight!"

"Xena."

"Fight!"

"Xena! It's time to stop now. Let her cross over peacefully."

"What do you know, you've killed so many."

"So have you. Let it go."

"No....no... C'mon, Gabrielle.... C'mon... C'mon, don't leave me. Don't you leave me.." She was yelling again. "Don't leave me, don't leave me. Wake up." She pounded on Gabrielle's chest hard. "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"

Gabrielle gasped as she woke and was pulled to Xena, who held her tightly and thanked whoever was responsible for bringing Gabrielle back to her.

--

"I wanted to thank you for saving my life.....again.  You always seem to be doing that."

"I was your decision to come back."

"Well, how could I leave you when we have so many wars to stop and despots to foil. You're gonna need my help."

"I couldn't do it without you." Her voice cracked a bit but she shrugged it off.

Gabrielle noticed but said nothing.

+++

Gabrielle woke up and looked around. She was in a small room. She sat up and took a better look. She let out a breath when she realized she was in the room she and Xena had rented. She looked out the window and saw that it was not yet dark. She must have fallen asleep. She rubbed her face and sighed. Another dream. Different each time. 'Why couldn't I dream of a time more peaceful. Instead of my death. Well my almost
death.' She smiled as she remembered how Xena had pulled her back from her depart. 'I never saw her like that. That was the first of times in which she has broken down. She did care for me even then. I wish I could of seen the look on her face. Ephiny said that she had cried over me.' Another deep breath. 'That was a year ago. I guess I'll never know exactly what she was thinking.' She heard clattering outside and got up, walking over to the window. She looked out and shook her head. "Joxer. Perfect." She sighed and walked out of the room to see what was going on.

Joxer helped the woman pick up the scattered object from her booth. "I'm sorry. Really I am. Here let me help."

"No, just go." The woman shoo-d him away and continued to pick up her things.

Joxer felt horrible for his clumsiness and tried to again help her pick things up.

"Just go." She stopped and grabbed the things out of his hand. "I can get it."

"Making a mess again Joxer?" asked a voice.

Joxer turned. "Gabby. No." He cleared his throat. "I was just...uh...well.."

"Wrecking my things," said the woman crossly.

Joxer turned to the woman then back at Gabrielle. "Yeah."

Gabrielle smiled and shook her head.

Joxer looked around. "Hey, where's Xena?"

"Don't know. I haven't seen her."

"She's not with you?"

"No. She had to go and help someone. Without me again."

He saw her hurt face for only a minute before she covered it up. "So, you're alone. Want some company?"

"Sure." She turned and walked back into the tavern.  "But first things first. I'm hungry."

He followed with a smile and a shrug. 'That's my Gabby.'

He entered and looked for Gabrielle and spotted her at a table near the back. "Hey, don't you ever sit up front?"

"Habit. Xena usually sits in the back so she can spot problems."

"Oh. Well what do we want to eat?"

Gabrielle thought. "Let's see. Some chicken, grapes, cider, and...and..."

"Nut bread." He finished.

"Yes, nut bread. How did you?"

"How did I know? I just did." He gave a warm smile which made her return one.

"You always come around at the right times, don't you?"

"I guess. I never noticed. I just go where I go."

The serving girl came over to their table and waited for what they wanted.

"Some chicken, grapes, cider." He looked over at Gabrielle. "And some Nut bread."

"Two?"

"Yeah."

She left and Joxer sat back against the wall.

The food came quickly and they started to eat, when a man came to their table.

Gabrielle looked up. "Yes, what can I do for you?"

"Hi, I'm Alton, the owner of this tavern. Are you Gabrielle?"

"Who wants to know?"

Alton held out his hands. "I want no trouble. I'm just wondering."

"Yes, I am."

"I've heard of your great bardic talents. Would you be interested in telling one of your famous tales. I'd pay you of course."

"No need."

"So you'll do it then?"

"Yes." She returned to her meal. "After I'm done though."

"Of course." He left the table.

"Which tale will you tell this time. Hey, that's good. Tale to tell." He laughed at himself.

Gabrielle shook her head. "That's what I like about you Joxer. You always can cheer me up when I'm down. I don't know, which should I tell?"

"You're asking me."

"Well yeah. I don't see anyone else here. Do you?"

"Oh no I was just asking. Sorry."

"No, I am. I'm just not in a good mood today."

"It's okay." He started to think. "Lets, see. You should...start with...uh... I know! You should tell them about the time Xena went mad."

Gabrielle laughed. "Yeah that was a good one. But I don't think I want to tell these people about that.  They'd think I was mad."

"Good point. Okay. How about the time Xena went blind.  No that's no good either. I don't know. Why don't you pick one. I'm out of ideas."

Gabrielle thought. "Maybe I should tell them about the time I was captured by Morpheus' men and how they tried to force me to lose my blood innocence, but I didn't."

"That would be good. But what about the time you and Xena met up with Callisto?"

"Or about the time Xena and I had to save Ulysses and his kingdom."

"That's a good one."

Gabrielle thought. "Or how about the time..."  Gabrielle smiled brightly. "I've got it." She stood from the table and walked towards Alton.

"What?" asked Joxer. He wasn't answered. He shrugged and waited for the tale to come out so he would know.

Alton climbed onto the stage and motioned for everyone to quiet down. "Please allow me to introduce a wonderful woman. lets give a warm welcome to Gabrielle, bard of Poteidaia." The room cheered at the name. Obviously one they had heard before. Those who hadn't cheered anyway.

Alton climbed down. "They are all yours."

Gabrielle smiled and took a breath as she relaxed to tell her tale. "An island, on the bounds of war. A bloody past and a blank future." She had their attention. "A pageant full of contestants with the idea to win to save themselves and their families. An act of degrading women. One hope to help war from winning, a brave warrior was summoned to help. Xena:  Warrior Princess." She stopped to study the audience. They were listening. "She could do nothing else but enter the pageant to discover who was behind the attacks.  Miss Amphipolis was her name. No one was to know of her plan for they would surely try to kill her. With the help of her friend, who took the hidden look of her sponsor, she was entered. But!....Someone else discovered who she was and tried with no luck to stop her by locking her in the steam room. They would come back after the first round but they were the one who was surprised when she walked down the runway giving it her all."

She watched the people move closer to hear her better and smiled, then started again. "While in the pageant she was able to figure out who was responsible for the attacks and help a few friends along the way. Teaching that it doesn't take a pageant to discover who you are.  Its inside you all the time."

The audience cheered. She bowed and started to walk off the stage when they urged her to continue with another tale.

She accepted and thought of one. "A poem. She moves with grace, upon the earth never lacking wisdom, never wanting more then to help, but always getting in trouble. She fights with passion, and strength from the heart. Her goal is to fight the evil she once was.  She doesn't believe she makes a difference but she does. In the hearts of the people she saves, and the eyes of the children to say her name in pride. She is my friend, teacher, family, she is Xena of Amphipolis."

They cheered again.

Gabrielle bowed and walked off of the stage toward their table. She saw Joxer smiling at her. "What?"

"That was good."

"Thanks. As much as I could do on short notice."

"For not being prepared, you sure acted like it."

She smiled and took a drink from her mug.

"Did you just come up with the poem?"

"No, I've been working on it all night."

"Well, it was great."

"Thanks again." She sat back and watched the people move about. "I wonder when Xena will be back."

"Hard to say with her."

"Don't I know that."

"Where did she go again?"

"Somewhere around Corinth. A message came from Hercules and she went to help."

"Leaving you here?"

"Yep."

"Does it often doesn't she?"

"Lately."

"What did the message say?"

"I don't know. She didn't show it to me."

"Did she say why she was leaving?"

"No, she just said that he needed her help and that she was to go quickly."

"Oh."

"She usually is called to help people. Nothing new."

"Is something wrong?"

She turned to him. "No, why?"

"You can tell me."

She looked away. "I'm fine."

"I've known you for a long time. I should know by now when something is bothering you. Come on, I'm trying to be a friend."

"Thank you Joxer. I appreciate that you care, I do. I just don't feel like talking right now about it.  Please. I promise that I'll talk to you later."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Okay then. Just remember that I'm here to help if you need help."

She patted him on the hand and returned to her drink.

"Hey what do you think about me going and telling a poem?"

"You?"

He looked hurt.

"Oh, sorry Joxer. I think that would be a great idea."

He lightened up a bit and stood, then walked over to Alton.

Gabrielle could see Alton nod and watched as Joxer got up on stage.

"I have a poem that I would like to share." He watched for any sign from the audience.

"Go ahead kid." One man yelled.

"Thanks." He cleared his throat. "Times move every day. Nothing stays the same and nothing changes. Not much is to be counted upon but friendship and love. But not always will that be around. You must search for your heart and leave nothing out and but truth."  He took a breath. "I have a friend who has always stood by me and I have no regrets. I try to be a best friend. The best I can be. She is always there if I have something to tell. She is my friend, the best there is and her name is Gabrielle."

The crowd cheered loudly as they turned to watch him and Gabrielle. She was smiling and laughing together.  He walked over to her and shrugged. "Well."

"That was beautiful."

"Thanks. I was inspired."

She laughed. "You're a great friend. You know that?"

"Kinda had a feeling." He joked as he sat down. "I'm not a bard but I think I did pretty well."

"You did very well."

"Thanks again." He took a breath. "So, you done?"

"Why?"

"There's a play house down the street and I was wondering if you would like to go."

"With you?"

He looked down. "Uh...well...yeah."

She smiled. "I'd love to."

He raised his head quickly. "You would?"

"Of course." She threw some dinars down onto the table and stood, then walked out with Joxer.

+++

Gabrielle laughed as they walked out of the theater.  "That was funny. What was it called again?"

"I think it was 'Never to be without a feather' I think."

"Well it was great. Thanks for the idea."

"No problem." He yawned. "I think I'll call it a night. Goodnight Gabs." He waved as he walked away.

"Goodnight." She started walking and yawned herself.  "I'm not tired yet." She looked around and spotted the stables.

As she opened the door, she heard a familiar nicker.  "Hey, Argo. How you doing?"

Argo answered with a snort.

"I know. You miss her. I do too. But she couldn't take you. It was too far." She patted Argo's neck. "Don't worry, she'll be back soon. I hope." She sighed and turned around, leaning on a post. Argo nudged her with her nose and snorted again. Gabrielle laughed and petted the mare's nose softly. "What? If I didn't know better, I'd say you wanted attention." She smiled and kissed her on the snout. "Sorry, but I need to get some sleep. I'm more tired then I thought. I'm talking to a horse."

Argo snorted.

"Sorry. Man are you sensitive these days." She rubbed her nose one last time then headed out of the stables.  "She'll be back before you know it girl." She left.

+++

"Terrific.  Now, can we head to Thessally before you hurt yourself?"

"No no no. Wait. You see, I've worked out the mechanics. The speed, trajectory, and finally the arc of the spin."

"Good. What's the point?"

"Your flip. Basically I've broken it down into its relatively simple steps."

"Oh yeah? What foot do I start on?"

"Don't confuse me."

Gabrielle started off and did a perfect flip, using her staff of course. "See." She moved over to the started spot and set down her staff. "This time no staff. Watch."

"Gabrielle, before I tried the flip without the staff I made 300 attempts with it."

"Slow learner huh, Xena? I had that problem with basket weaving." She positioned herself with a foot.

"Its the left foot, but I'd rather you didn't."

"Its not like its going to kill me. Let me try it one time okay? That's all I need. One try..." She started off.

"Wrong foot."

And she was down for the count

Some time later.

"I'm telling you (limp) that my ankle (limp) is fine (limp)."

"C'mon, let me take a look at it. Don't let pride get in the way. You tried something...and you failed," she smiled. "It happens."

"It's nothing serious Xena."

Xena grabbed her foot.

"Ooh! No no no! Ow!"

"Good thing it's nothing serious."

"That doesn't hurt!"

"Already too swollen huh?"

"I'll walk it off."

Xena let out a sigh. "I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't have tried that flip"

"You'll work it in."

Xena watched her friend continue to limp then smiled to herself. "Gabrielle! Look out! Hit the dirt!" Xena threw her chakram. It ricocheted off a few trees and miraculously sliced Gabrielle's boot right off without even touching the skin.

"Why did you do that?"

"A new theory I'm testing for sprains. Elevation and ice cold water."

"Yeah, well, I'm not thirsty."

"Sit down."

--

"I know that I'm going to die. Why can't you accept that? A long time ago, I accepted the consequences of out life together. That it might one day come to this.  It has. I'm not afraid."

"You always said that I was the brave one. Look at you now. If this is to be our Destiny, lets see it out together. Even in death, Gabrielle, I will never leave you."

--

"Gabrielle?"

"I'm still here...I think. Strange, I seemed to have moved beyond the pain."

"Here, I have another poultice ready for you."

"No, please. Don't bother with that. I can't fight. I can't be of any help to you. So please. I'm just distracting you."

"But you're my source, Gabrielle. When I reach down inside myself and do things that I'm not capable of, its because of you. Don't you know that by now? Let's just see this one through together, all right?"

--

"All I want is to be with you right now. You're my best friend, my family, I love you, Gabrielle."

"I love you, Xena."

"Until the other side then...we'll be together."

"Till then."

+++

Gabrielle woke with a jump. 'What was that? Why did I dream about that?' She sat up and walked to the window where she looked out. She saw a few people still shuffling about but not much. She shook her head and tried to think about what she needed from the dream.  To figure out what it meant. She couldn't think of anything.

'I almost died then too. Xena saved me both times. She stuck with me and refused to give up even when it seemed hopeless.' She sighed. 'I need to figure out what these dreams mean. I wonder if I'll have anymore.  Maybe if I did then I'd be able to piece them together to pick out clues or reasons for anything.'

She laid back down and fell asleep.

+++

The morning came slow but also fast. She found Joxer down stairs eating breakfast. He saw her and waved her over.

"Gabrielle why don't you join me. This is excellent.  Don't know exactly what it is but its great."

She sat down and motioned for the serving girl. "I'll have what he's having."

The girl left.

"Sleep well?" he asked.

"Yeah," she lied. "Very well."

"Good. You seemed kinda upset yesterday and I'm glad you had a great rest." He returned to his meal.

The girl returned and gave Gabrielle her food.

"You're right, this is good. What's it called?"

"I don't know."

"Oh well doesn't matter what its called. It tastes good anyhow." She continued till she was finished.

Joxer looked at her in amazement until she noticed.

"What?"

"I started way before you and you finish before me. I don't understand."

She laughed. "Some things are meant to be misunderstood."

He agreed and they spent the rest of the morning in silence.

The rest of the day went pretty much the same. They spent it together looking around. Exploring different booths and plays. Gabrielle gave another performance and was beat after that. They had run around so much that it had worn her out. Her, who had traveled miles on foot with Xena, was worn out from walking around with Joxer. She laughed and excused herself from a group of villagers. She spotted Joxer and walked to him. "Its getting late, I'm turning in."

He nodded and she headed towards the inn. She was excited to know what dream would come next and what it would show her. She smiled as she walked.

+++

"I wanted to get there before Xena so that I could betray her. I wanted to betray her. I gave her everything and I had and it meant nothing to her." She took a breath. "I hated her for loving someone else. I wanted her to hurt. I wanted her to be punished. And, I almost got her killed. My hatred and jealously almost destroyed my best friend."

"So, now you have the answer. The question is can you live with it?" Ares handed her the bowel.

"If the bowel is ever emptied, so go my memories."

"And the pain, all that pain."

"And the memories of my youth, my parents, my loves..."

"The betrayal, the killing, the death of your child."

"And Xena."

"Bottom line, Gabrielle, you won't miss what you never knew."

--

"Xena, you knew all along. That's why you wanted me to wait at the temple of Mnemosyne, right?"

"I wondered how you made it to Chin ahead of me. I figured Ares had a hand in it, but what I couldn't figure out was why. Nightmares can tell you a lot of things. Thank the Gods you talk in your sleep. I knew this was one journey you had to make without me. But, I'm just glad you made it back."

"If I didn't have the painful memories, then I wouldn't know what the good ones were like, right? I just couldn't let it go, Xena, no matter what the
pain. I'm sorry."

"No, no, its over. Welcome home."

+++

Gabrielle opened her eyes and let out a breath. 'The temple of Mnemosyne? Why did I dream about that. It has nothing to do with the rest of the dreams. No one died. No one was... They only hurt was from me. The pain I had to hold within. Its gone now but it was so strong then.' She took a breath and relaxed as she fell back asleep.

+++

Gabrielle woke sometime during the night again. She sat up and looked around but couldn't see a thing.  'What had waken me up.' She listened. 'There isn't a noise in or out of the room that I can hear. Then what? I didn't have another dream yet.' She laid back down. She heard laughing and sat up again. Walking over to the window, she could see three men laughing and swearing at each other. A woman walked into the light and one of the men grabbed her. The woman struggled and gave up. Gabrielle sighed and turned, grabbing her staff, and headed downstairs to stop it.

The men looked to see her exit the inn and smiled.  "Another beauty. Come here and we'll show you a good time." One man said.

She gripped her staff and held it in view. As if to warn them not to start.

"Oooh, I like that in a woman. A fighter." He laughed.

The other two men stayed quiet.

The first man came closer and was knocked down by Gabrielle's staff. "Feisty." He got back up and charged again, only to end up on the ground again.  "This is getting to be out of the fun part now. So just lets be friends and put down the staff. We'll talk things over." He walked forward and saw her raise the staff. "Or not."

"Let the woman go." Gabrielle demanded.

"And if we refuse?"

She gripped her staff. "You are all drunk. Just stop it and go home to sleep it off."

"I don't think so, pretty one. I'm in the mood for some fun and you my dear are the entertainment." He laughed at his dumb comment and charged only to be hit across the jaw hard but he shook it off. As he looked back at his friends and charged forward, Gabrielle dropped and brought the staff against his legs, knocking him down in the dust. He rubbed his jaw and looked her over one more time. He stood and turned to his men. "Let her go. Perhaps blondie is right. Lets get out of here."

The men let the girl go and they left, heading to the tavern no doubt.

The woman dusted herself off and walked to Gabrielle. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." She watched the woman run off and sighed as she walked back into the inn and up to her room.

+++

"Say it!".....(Smack)...Say it!..." She dropped to her knees and grabbed Xena's face. "Xena promise them that you will never attempt to kill Ming T'ien again. Promise them!....Xena, if you promise them, then they will banish you. Please. We can ride away from this."

--

"Can we talk?"

No answer.

"Of course not. I betrayed you. The pathetic thing is, I thought I was saving you. My reverence for life kept a brutal tyrant in power and led to my best friend's execution. I know you hate me Xena, no more then I hate myself."

Xena sat for a minute then moved off of her rock and walked through the water over to Gabrielle. "Do me a favor will ya?"

Gabrielle nodded.

"Scratch my nose."

Gabrielle started to cry.

"Come on."

Gabrielle killed the itch that Xena had been trying to get to for hours and laughed at how Xena moved to better the scratching.

"Thanks." She was silent for a minute. "I know you only did what you thought was right. I was angry with you, but I didn't hate you...I never could."

--

"I love you, Xena."

"I love you too, Gabrielle."

+++

Gabrielle lay awake and felt the tears well up in her eyes. A very hurtful memory to repeat. 'Why that one?  Not like I understood any of them. They have to mean something. I just have to figure out what.' She moved from the bed and grabbed her quill and parchment.  "Okay, first one. I died, Xena saved me. Second, I try a flip, get hurt, and almost die, but Xena saves me. Fourth, I go to the temple of Mnemosyne and almost erase my memories. Nothing to do with the first and second one. Fifth, I betray Xena by going to Chin and stopping her. Should of come before the fourth but it didn't. What do the fourth and fifth have in common."  She tried to think. "I've got nothing. I guess things will clear up when I have another one. Six is an even number, perhaps they will end there." She placed her quill and parchment on the table by the bed and laid back down. "Come on dreams. Just one more." She closed her eyes.

+++

The morning came and Gabrielle woke up with a groan.  No other dream had come during the night. She was a bit upset at that fact.

She dressed and headed downstairs to see what Joxer thought of these dreams. It was obvious that she couldn't figure them out by herself so she hoped that he could help her. At least a little.

As last time, she expected him to be sitting down eating breakfast, but when she came downstairs, he wasn't there. She walked outside and looked around.  "Joxer."

No answer.

"Joxer." A little louder this time.

A commotion was heard and she followed the source. Coming into the view, she saw two men arguing over something. She pushed her way through the crowd and saw Joxer in the middle. "What's this about Joxer?"

"They were having a bet on who would win a sword fight, but they couldn't agree even though it was obvious to everyone that it was him." He pointed to the man on his left.

"Well forget about that please. I need to talk to you."

"Sure thing Gabs. Hey feller I have to go. Get someone else to help with this." He left the crowd.

+++

When they were far from anyone, Gabrielle began. "I've been having these dreams and I can't figure out what they mean. I need your help. If you don't mind."

"I'll help."

"Okay."

+++

"So, what do you think?"

"They don't make sense."

"I could of told you that much."

"Okay sorry. Lets see, they all include Xena. Two have you dying. Two deal with Chin. I can't really say much. Sorry. I don't think I'm going to be of much use to you."

"That's okay. I guess I just wait and see what else I dream right."

"Right." He looked outside.

"You can go if you want. I'm done."

"Thanks. I just promised someone something. If you need my help just call." He nodded and left the tavern.

Gabrielle rubbed her aching temples and sat back to think.

+++

"Xena, I know you can hear me wherever you are. I know you always told me to be strong by I can't be, not now. You can't leave me. I know its not your time. I can feel it in my heart. I feel this emptiness that I have never felt before and it scares me. Above all remember your mission and fight, just fight to come back. This world needs you. I need you."

+++

As quickly as it had come, it was gone. "What was that about? The time when Xena died and I talked to her."  She went up stairs to write it down.

After she was done she sat on her bed and laid down.  "All right. I need answers." She closed her eyes and tried to sleep. It worked and she soon dozed off.

+++

"You all right?"

"I'm great, I can't see, but I'm good."

"Try using both eyes."

"Oh, yeah, that's better."

"Think you can stand?"

"You mean I'm not?"

"C'mon...there ya go."

"By the gods." She dropped onto her butt.

"What is it?"

"You are beautiful."

"Uh huh." She helped Gabrielle to stand again. "And you are drugged. With henbane if I'm not mistaken, so the effects should be temporary. But, we've got to get you walking. Come back here Gabrielle. I need you to concentrate."

"Okay, yeah, but I think this is a big waste of time because I have been walking since I was one."

"This is not about walking, Gabrielle, its about Icus You do remember Icus, don't you?"

"Of course I remember Icus."

"Good. Do you know where he is?"

"Where?"

"No. I'm asking you."

--

"What are we waiting for? Let's go! The rest of you follow me."

"Hold it."

"At ease. Yeah?"

"I've got a better idea. I'll go and get Icus while you and the....others try to...um.."

"Work on our song? Just between you and me, the altos are slightly flat."

"Perfect. Gabrielle, don't let anyone leave the cave, understand? Stay here and wait for me to get back.  Have I made myself clear?"

"Nnno. You're a little fuzzy around the edges, so you keep trying, you'll get there."

--

"What are you doing here? I thought I told you to wait for me at the cave."

"You did, but then this rock told me that I had to come find you."

"The rock spoke to you?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, his voice was a little gravely, but I understood."

+++

Gabrielle sat up with a smile. "I remember that." She laughed some more. "I can't believe I talked to a rock. I'm sure she still remembers that too. So?" She grabbed her parchment and began to right as she talked. "Seven, I was drugged and talked with a rock and had an imaginary choir." She laughed as she wrote it down. A thought came to her and she stopped laughing. "I also told Xena that she was beautiful.  Was I that much under?" She thought. "She is beautiful, warm, soft and hard at the same time." She continued to write it down.

Joxer was helping to carry buckets from a well when Gabrielle spotted him. "Hey Jox, guess what? I had another one."

He stopped. "What was this one about?"

"Well not sure. I talked with a rock, and had a few imaginary people but other than th..."

He started to laugh. "That's good. Very funny. Good thing it didn't actually happen." He saw her smile fade and started to laugh again. "It did, didn't it."

"Afraid so."

"So what else?"

"Well, I uh...well."

"Come on, you can tell me."

"I told Xena that I thought she was beautiful."

"Oh, I see. And was it the truth."

"Yes."

He nodded. "Okay, well meet me back at the tavern. I have to finish with this but I'll be there shortly.  Okay."

She nodded and headed for the tavern.

+++

As she was sitting another flash appeared in front of her:

"Gabrielle, I want you to understand something. We both have families we were born into, but sometimes families change and we have to build our own. For me, our friendship binds us closer than blood ever could."

"For me too."

Gabrielle sucked in a breath of air and shook her head to clear the remaining thoughts. "Weird. That was some time ago." She wrote it down too.

In time Joxer did arrive and sat down with her. "I'm here. Anything else?"

"I had another one sitting here."

"And?"

"It was the time Xena thought she had found her father. She told me that families are formed but sometimes they change and that our friendship binds us closer than blood ever could."

"Sounds interesting. What did she mean?"

"What do you think?"

"Oh. Nothing there. But what I can't understand it why they all have Xena in them. Maybe you should write them down."

"Way ahead of you." She held up the parchment.

"Oh."

"So now what?"

He looked outside. "It's getting dark. Maybe we should get some sleep. I know I've had a hard day." He rose and waved goodbye.

Gabrielle grabbed her parchment and headed upstairs.

She laid down on the bed and closed her eyes, anxious of what would come next.

+++

"The despair of Winter is followed by the hope of Spring. The infernal heat of Summer abolished by a gentle Autumn breeze. Life's brutal Truths are softened by its tender mercies."

"You know, I like that."

"Thank you. My writing has allowed me to express my most inner feelings. I don't know how I'd survive without it. I wish you had something like that, Xena."

"Are you kidding? I've got this." She pulled out her chakram and twirled it around.

"It's......perfect."

--

"I'm really getting into these metal patches. I like the steel."

"Gabrielle, I sense that there's some pent up energy, some frustration eating at you, some unresolved desire. I can tell that you need to get....."
Autolycus started.

"Dancing! I just want to dance!"

"Ah, well, actually I was on a different track."

The image blurred and focused on another vision:

"To the gods we are nothing but dirty, little beetles and they'll kill us for their sport. Oh, I'm sorry Gabrielle can't come with me now but..." She ran a
hand down Gabrielle's arm seductively. "...I can't be trusted you know." And she was gone.

+++

Gabrielle sat up and smiled. "They are beginning to make sense to me now. I think I understand." She reached for her parchment and began to write things down.

+++

She met Joxer the next day and was surprised when he ran up to her. "What is it?"

"Guess who's here."

Gabrielle's jaw dropped. "No, I'm not through figuring out things yet," she said more to herself than to him. "Where is she?"

"Stables."

"Thanks." She ran off to see Xena.

+++

"Miss me girl?"

Argo whinnied.

"Thought so. I missed you. Sorry I couldn't take you with me." She petted the animals soft fur and smiled.

A door creaked and she turned to see Gabrielle. "Hey."

"Welcome back stranger." She smiled and moved into a hug.

"How have things been without me?"

"Fine. Not that I enjoyed you gone or anything it's just that sometimes it's..."

"Relaxing."

"Yeah." She laughed. "So how did everything go for you?"

"Fine. Hercules had a few things for me to to do.  Nothing life threatening was wrong."

"Oh I see."

"So?"

"Buttons."

"Huh?"

"Nothing, just a new phrase I picked up."

"Ah. Do anything exciting?"

"No. I have had a few problems though."

"Like what?"

"I guess I should just come on out huh?"

"Would be good." She sat down on a bale of hay and waited.

+++

"Pretty weird huh?"

"No, dreams occur a lot. Do you know what they mean?"

"No, but I do know one thing."

"What's that?"

"They all had you in them."

Xena nodded. "You must have some clue about them."

"I do. Are you sure you want to hear about it though?"

"Gabrielle."

"Okay okay. First one, I almost die and you totally lose it trying to get my back. I never had seen you cry before then. I do come back though. Second, you accept my death and say 'If this is to be our Destiny, lets see it out together. Even in death, Gabrielle, I will never leave you. But you're my source, Gabrielle.  When I reach down inside myself and do things that I'm not capable of, its because of you. Don't you know
that by now? Let's just see this one through together, all right?"

"I said those things?"

"Yes. Let me finish. Third, I told my conscience that I wanted to get there before Xena so that I could betray her. I wanted to betray her. I gave her everything and I had and it meant nothing to her. I hated her for loving someone else. I wanted her to hurt. I wanted her to be punished. And, I almost got her killed. My hatred and jealously almost destroyed my best friend."  She looked at Xena.

"I didn't know that."

"Now you do. Do you want me to continue?"

Xena nodded.

"Fourth, you told me that you knew I only did what I thought was right. You said that you were angry with me, but you didn't hate me...you never could. Fifth, is when I said 'By the gods.  You asked 'what is it?"  And I said 'You are beautiful.' Sixth, you told me that we both have families we were born into, but sometimes families change and we have to build our own. For me, our friendship binds us closer than blood ever could. And I said me too."

"How much more?"

"Just one. Seventh, was nothing but some talking about things. The other one was which Autolycus said 'Gabrielle, I sense that there's some pent up energy, some frustration eating at you, some unresolved desire. I can tell that you need to get..... I said 'dancing! I just want to dance! And he said 'ah, well, actually I was on a different track. Want to hear the last one?"

Xena nodded.

"The last one was when the Furies made you mad and you tied me to a tree saying 'to the gods we are nothing but dirty, little beetles and they'll kill us for their sport. Oh, I'm sorry Gabrielle can't come with me now but......I can't be trusted you know."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It was what you did while saying it."

"What was that?"

"Running a hand down my arm seductively."

"I was mad Gabrielle."

"So?"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that these dreams happened for a reason."

"And that is?"

"To tell me something. All this time these things have been staring me in the face and I didn't notice. Well I noticed now."

"What are you talking about?"

"You speak of friendship and I know that is all you can give now. But I also know that you want more from me. I'm offering that to you now if you'll except."

"What?"

"I love you and I'm sure you love me."

"I love you. I've told you that before."

"Yes but have you told me that you're in love with me?"

"That's ridiculous!"

"Is it?" She felt another vision coming and sat down.

"You all right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good, I'm good. Considering I was almost road kill. I'm perfect."

"C'mon, we've been in tighter spots than that."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right. Since hooking up with you I've nearly been eaten by a Cyclops, and I was almost forced to marry Orpheus. Practically squashed by a Titan. Why did I just freeze up?"

"I don't know, your burned out. It happens."

"It didn't happen to you."

"No, that's why I always try to remember 'act, don't react' Go with your gut."

"I froze, which put both of us at risk. If you hadn't been there, then..."

"..but I was."

"Today yes, but what about tomorrow and the next day?  I can't always expect you to be there for me."

"It was just one incident."

"I can't endanger you. Don't you see that? I'm just a liability."

"It's a risk I think I can take."

"I can't."

"I can't help you with this. You're gonna have to figure it out yourself."

"I need to leave."

"Where will you go?"

"The only place I know...home. My sister Lila's there.  I can talk to her about this."

"What? You can't talk to me?"

"Of course I can. I just...sometimes you need your family to help sort out things. I have to find out what's going on with me and I have to do that at
home."

"But you're coming back right?"

"I guess that depends on what I find." She started to walk away.

The pain was evident on Xena's face as she waved goodbye to Gabrielle for maybe the last time.

+++

Gabrielle bounced back. "I can't believe I didn't notice it before."

"What?"

"When I left home after freezing as that cart came at us, I didn't see your face. I was able to just now.  Pain. I saw pain Xena. You‘ didn't think I would come back and that hurt you."

Xena shook her head. "No, I'm fine." She turned away.

"Xena look at me."

"I don't think so Gabrielle."

"If you can honestly tell me that you don't love me the way I love you then I'll let it be at that."

Xena turned. "I'm not in love with you Gabrielle."

"Liar. I can tell when you are in pain and you are in pain now Xena."

"You said."

"I know what I said. I love you and you love me. Why can't we be together that way?"

"Because you don't want an old used up warlord."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that." She tilted Xena's chin up and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "Could you have anymore doubt?"

"No." She leaned down and captured Gabrielle's lips. "I love you. I just didn't realize it. I kept it from myself and didn't want to believe. I'm so sorry I didn't realize sooner."

"Xena."

"Hmm."

"Shut up and kiss me."


THE END

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