ForevaXena's FanFic . . .

Letting Go

by Sarah Miller

Violence: Yeah right.

Sex: None

This story involves Xena and Ares and I'm pretty sure that it involves love as well. Though you never know.

Cover by Calli

(Click photo for larger image)

***

The sun set, creating an array of vibrant yellows, pinks, and purples. A single figure sat down next to a cliff, staring out into the valley. He sighed softly and closed his eyes when a light breeze blew across his face.

He heard footsteps but didn't turn around. He knew who it was. "What do you want?"

"Isn't that my line?" Xena sat down besides him.

He didn't say anymore.

She glanced his way, noticing his solemn expression. "Something wrong?"

"No." His gaze was fixed on the fading colors.

"Being mortal not all you remembered it to be."

"Actually its just like I remembered. Every last agonizing moment." He still didn't look at her.

"Ares."

Only then did he turn to look at her.

"I'm not sure I know why you helped us, but I'm grateful."

"I know." He turned away.

Her hand was on his. He studied it for moment, before looking at her. She looked different to him somehow. "I did what I had to." He pulled his hand away, then stood and walked off.

***
Ares moved quietly through the camp, stopping next to Xena. As he knelt, she grabbed him and rolled him over, pinning a dagger at his throat.

He smiled up at her. "Hi."

She rolled her eyes and pulled the dagger away. "First thing you should learn, never sneak up on me."

"Got it." He looked at their position. "Are you gonna get off of me?"

She stood up. "What were you doing anyway?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "I couldn't sleep."

"Ah." She sheathed the dagger.

He ran a hand over his beard. "How long have you been up?"

"Since I heard you walking?"

"I was being quiet."

"I know. Why act surprised. You of all people should know what I can or cannot do."

"One thing I'll miss......" He looked at her. "Reading mortal thoughts."

She looked away.

"Yes, I know how you thought of me. Used a lot of words too." He stepped in front of her. "But can you honestly believe that I would still try to trick you? If I remember correctly, you were the one who tricked me." He tilted his head. "Very well too I might add."

"You're so easy."

"Obviously. I'm soft too when it comes to my princess."

"I'm not your princess."

"Yes you are." His hand caressed her cheek. "I made you who you are."

"Who I am now has nothing to do with you." She pulled his hand away and walked off.

He stood there for a minute before following her. "Xena." He was running to catch up to her. "Xena, wait." He stopped when he reached the lake.

She was standing there gazing into the water.

"I know things between us weren't always....." He smiled. "....cozy, but I always admit when I'm wrong...."

"Since when?"

"Since now. I was wrong Xena. I took you into my power and turned you into a killer. But who you were, made you who you are now. Your war strategy, me. Your prowess, me. Your cunning, me. It was all me. I made you who you are, Xena. Admit it."

She turned to him. "Your right. Without you I wouldn't have anything, right. If you are trying to make me believe that, keep trying. Its not going to work."

He moved behind her, leaning forward to take in her scent. "You are still my warrior, even if you don't want to admit it."

She turned her head. "Never."

He turned her around and held her. "One day you will admit it." He leaned down towards her lips.

She slapped him across the face. "Don't ever do that again." She pulled herself out of his grasp. "You may be mortal Ares, but you haven't changed." She walked off.
 

***
Xena sat on a log, next to the fire. She missed Gabrielle and Eve, and would give anything to break this silence. Her eyes turned to the forest. Still not back. Perhaps she had made a mistake. The God of War was not someone to mess with, immortal or otherwise. She stood up and walked to the lake.

He was sitting on the sand, looking out into the water. "You know, your right?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I haven't changed." He turned to her. "If you expected me to, you were mistaken. Just because I'm mortal doesn't mean that I will act different."

"I know." She saw his head lower.

"There are things that I would like to redo. Lots of things actually."

"Like what?" She couldn't believe she was being sympathetic. Pathetic was right, she thought.

"I wouldn't of made you a warrior."

"You didn't make me a warrior. I would have become who I was with or without you."

"Chakrum?"

There was a brief period of silence.

"I've never wanted to say it but I'm sorry, Xena. Sorry for all the things I've done to you."

"You're apologizing?"

He stood and walked to her. Seeing her flinch made him hurt somehow. He stepped back.

She didn't understand his behavior and leaned against a tree. "I never did thank you for my chakrum."

He smiled. "Yes you did."

She looked down. "In words, Ares."

"Some times actions speak louder than words."

Her eyes met his and she saw a gentle warm, that wasn't there before. "I still want to thank you."

"You're welcome."

She nodded. "So what happens now that there is no God of War?"

He shrugged. "People will go on. Fight their own battles. Its not a tragic loss."

"So your saying that you aren't needed."

"Pretty much."

She gave a small laugh and saw him walk in front of her. When he placed a finger under her chin to raise her head, she let him. When she met his eyes, she knew something had changed in him. They lacked the rock hard edge.

"I meant it when I said I loved you."

"I know."

They stood in silence looking at each other.

"Ares."

"Hmm?"

"Kiss me."

He stepped back. "What?"

"You heard me."

"I don't think I heard you correctly."

She stepped forward. "I said kiss me."

He was planted to the ground as she moved in front of him. When her hand touched his face, his eyes closed. He felt her soft lips against his and didn't move. He couldn't.

"Kiss me, Ares."

He opened his eyes and took a breath when he looked into those blue orbs. Suddenly he couldn't breathe. "Is this what love is like for a mortal?"

She nodded and pressed her lips to his again. This time he responded. She pulled back before it got to serious, but looked into his eyes and let it go. All the anger, betrayal, hurt, everything. There was nothing anymore. Their past didn't exist. He was mortal.

She felt his tongue slip through her lips and groaned as hers met it.

Ares pulled her closer to him and held her.

The kiss ended when they had to breathe.

Xena opened her eyes and walked out of his arms. She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't and walked away.

He watched her go and turned to the heavens as if expecting an answer.
 

***
Ares walked back to camp to see that Xena had already gone to bed. He carefully walked closer to her, so not to wake her like last time. He smiled as he sat next to her.

She stirred but didn't wake.

He caressed her face. He felt something wet fall down his face and wiped it away. Tears were new to him and he had no idea why he was crying. More fell and bit his lip to stop. There was a strange feeling in him. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. He hid his face in his hand and heard Xena wake up.

"Ares?" She didn't get an answer and laid a hand on his arm. "Are you crying?" She couldn't believe it. When he raised his head, she saw that he was indeed crying. "Why?"

"I don't know."

She crawled to the fire.

"Where you going?"

"To make you some tea. It'll help calm your nerves." She turned back to the fire and felt hands on her shoulders. She turned her head. "What..." His finger was over her lips.

"Shh." He leaned forward and kissed her softly.

She pushed him away. "No."

"Why?"

"We can't start this."

"Why?"

"Because if we do, I won't be able to stop."

He smiled. "You want me." It wasn't a question.

"I always have."

He slipped off his vest and held out his arms. "Come here."

She had no idea how it happened but suddenly she was right there. She could feel is hand caressing her back and hear his soft voice. Something about this was right, even when it was wrong. She knew at that instant that she was in love with him. She had fallen in love with the God of War, her greatest enemy. She started to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"This."

"I don't understand."

"Neither do I, but somehow I think I've fallen in love with you."

"I know."

"How did you know?"  She pulled back to look at him.

He smiled. "I just did."

She moved back into his arms. "This just feels so right. Doesn't it."

"Yes."

"Ares."

"Hmm?"

"Make love to me."

He pulled her away to look into her face. "You sure?"

"Yes." She kissed him, letting him get a feel of her passion. She felt the strap of her shift being slid off and stood up. She made sure he was watching as she slid off the other strap and the shift fell to the ground. Her breeches were next and soon she stood in front of him naked.

He stood up and undressed then picked her up laying her on the ground.

As he covered her body with his, she felt her body sigh.

"I love you." He stroked her face.

She smiled. "I love you too."
 

THE END

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