ForevaXena's FanFic . . .

Careful What You Wish For

by R. D. Elliot

Disclaimers:  I don't own them, but you know who does.  

Yes, there's violence just like the series.  There is also a brief depiction of rape.  Sorry about that. 

Also, this does show the warrior and bard discovering their feelings. 

This is my first attempt and I'd be most interested in feedback at rd2jaft@sat.net

Part 1

Chapter 1

 
The sounds of fighting could be heard just around the bend in the road.

"Sounds like our cue," whispered an excited bard.  The tall dark warrior looked blankly at her as she dismounted quickly, quietly making her way through brush to see what lay ahead.  Less than quietly, the smaller woman kept pace behind her.  Xena looked over her shoulder to glare at Gabrielle's lack of stealth while the bard mouthed a silent "sorry."  Peering around the trees, they saw four large warriors terrorizing a couple of merchants.  The battle was already over as the merchants lay crumpled at their feet.

Turning to her companion, Xena simply said, "Stay here."

"Xena-"

"Stay!" she growled as she slipped out into the open.  "Hey boys, care to take on someone more in your league?"  The men slowly turned from pillaging the trunks on the wagon, and began to chuckle sinisterly as they spotted the tall woman. 

"Happy to oblige, milady," sneered the tallest letting a crooked, broken smile spread across his face.  He easily ambled forward, obviously unaware of who he faced.  "Come on, little lady, let me show you what a man is for."

"Don't call me little lady."  And with that, the brigand tasted dirt.  For an instant his comrades froze, surprised by the quickness of the attack.  And then, as one voice, they screamed as they rushed the woman before them.

Gabrielle watched the fight unfold, knowing Xena would dispatch these robbers quickly.  However it wasn't going quite as quickly as she anticipated.  Obviously the first one had just lowered his guard, because the remaining three were worthy opponents.  Though Xena had that feral smile on her face, Gabrielle could tell her friend was concentrating, taking nothing for granted.  Then the first one slowly rose from the road.  The fury in his eyes at having been taken out so easily shone brightly as he slowly reached for a dagger in his belt.  Gabrielle's body moved without thought.  Bounding from behind cover, she raced for the man as he drew aim on Xena. 

"Xena!" she yelled in warning as she brought her staff down hard on his hand, making him drop the dagger.

Xena worriedly turned at the cry of her friend, distracted from the fight in front of her.  She watched as Gabrielle was hit hard to the ground and in that instant felt as a blade cut across her arm.  Whirling back to her attackers, she sliced through the two on her right while kicking the one on her left in the head and was rewarded to hear a sharp snap as his head fell back.  Without hesitation, the grim warrior turned back to see her companion on her back trying valiantly to ward off blows with her staff.  Her war cry piercing the air, Xena ran at the man as he turned to welcome her sword into his belly.  Again that look of surprise on his face as he sank down to his knees and then pitched forward.  Xena turned her attention to the small woman who was breathing heavily.  There was going to be a nasty bruise on her left cheek, but other than that, she looked fine.  Inwardly Xena breathed a sigh of relief, outwardly she merely grumbled, "I told you to stay put."

Before the young bard could reply, the warrior had turned on her heel to check on the two merchants who were beginning to regain their senses.  After many thank you's and much praising, the two men were on their way leaving behind a sullen warrior princess and a perplexed bard.  Xena whistled for Argo then turned, still not saying a word, and continued up the road.

"Xena – wait … I …" Great.  Gabrielle knew she was in for the silent treatment for a while.  Better to wait 'til Xena had had a chance to cool off and they'd set up camp.  Gabrielle had to practically jog to keep up with the long legged warrior.

After another candlemark of walking, Xena turned abruptly off the road into a glen and began to set up camp.  Gabrielle came breathlessly into the clearing, sinking to her knees and trying desperately to suck in enough air.  "And the warrior princess wins again, " Gabrielle panted hoping to alleviate the tension.  It was then she finally saw the cut on Xena's arm.  "Xena, you're hurt.  Why didn't you say something?  I should have taken care of that immediately."  Gabrielle reached for the medicine pouch as Xena yanked it from Argo's saddle.  "Got it."  Was all Gabrielle heard as the warrior turned and walked away.  This is definitely not good thought the bard.  Just what is the problem?

"How about I make the campfire while you tend to your arm?"  But a grunt was the only response she received.  It's gonna be a loooong night.  Resolved, she turned to make the fire, unpack Argo, and start the supper. 

Xena watched as the young bard busily tended to everything.  Each time Gabrielle turned in her direction, she was careful to be looking elsewhere.  What was she thinking allowing this girl to follow her?  She was going to get her killed, or maybe get them both killed, she thought as she finished wrapping her arm.  She grabbed up some ointment from the pouch as she walked toward Gabrielle who was carefully brushing Argo.  Xena stood a moment looking at the innocence before her.  She wanted to protect Gabrielle, not punish her, but her emotions warred within her as usual.  Sensing her near, Gabrielle turned to look up into cold piercing blue eyes.

"Here.  Put this on your cheek."  Xena shoved the jar at Gabrielle as she took the brush out of her hand and continued Argo's care.

"Thanks, but I can finish this first.  You should rest your arm."

"It's fine."

And with that Gabrielle knew the conversation was at an end.  She'd give her 'til after supper, but then the two of them were going to talk.  She could only stand the silence so long.

* * * * *

"Soup all right?"  Gabrielle asked, trying once more to chisel away at the iceberg that was the warrior.  Xena nodded in affirmation.  'Oh great, I don't even get a grunt.'  "Would you like more?"  Again a nod in the negative.  'I need a question that's not yes or no.'  "How's the arm?" Again a nod that indicated fine.  'Ok, that's it.  Time to take my life into my hands.'

"Xena, time's up for sulking.  You're mad.  Obviously I did something you're unhappy with, but how can I apologize if you don't tell me what I did?"  Silence.  "Come on, Xena, talk to me, please.  I'll listen."

"You didn't listen last moon and ended up in a dungeon.  You didn't listen last week and ended up with a knife at your throat.  And you didn't listen this afternoon."  The warrior grumbled as she picked up her sword and whetstone.

"What?"

"I told you to stay put."

"You always say that-"

"I said stay.  You didn't.  Those men weren't simple thugs.  I could tell they were trained mercenaries.  You could have gotten yourself killed.  You very nearly got me killed, distracting me!"  Where had all that come from?  Xena hadn't meant to say any of it.  One look at Gabrielle told her she might as well have slapped her with her hand.  Damn.  Maybe it was for the best.  Maybe now Gabrielle will pay attention to me.

"I'm sorry, Xena," she began timidly, "but the man behind you came to and pulled out a dagger.  I couldn't just stand and watch you be hurt or even killed."

Xena hadn't realized this was the reason for her friend's intrusion into the fight.  Damn again.  Stupid warrior not to have realized.  "I could have handled it.  Do you think I need you to watch my back?  A little bard from Potedeia?  Gee, how ever did I manage all these years without you?  Next time, just do what I tell you, Gabrielle, and no one will get hurt."  Xena glared at her, angry with herself for this outburst. 

"I'm sorry."  Gabrielle said simply, controlling the tears that threatened to fall.

"Forget it.  Let's get some sleep.  Tomorrow we'll reach Thessaly."  

Chapter 2 

The walk into Thessaly was uneventful and quiet.  Xena was accustom to keeping silent, but for Gabrielle it was very abnormal.  Xena had watched as Gabrielle had risen for the first time without prodding, breaking camp and preparing Argo for the trip.  She kept out of the warrior's way, after her brief attempt at "good morning" was met with a barely discernable grunt.  Usually Gabrielle entertained them both with stories as they walked, but today the bard kept her mouth shut and her eyes ahead.  'Good.  It's nice to have a little peace and quiet now and then.'  But that's not really what Xena wanted, however, what she did want was beyond her grasp.

As they neared the town, the bustle and noise of merchants and buyers filled the air.  There was even a small traveling show set up at the end of the main street.

Xena looked at her companion who was excitedly taking in all the happenings around her.  'She's such an innocent child, delighting in the simplest things.'   Xena almost let herself smile as she watched Gabrielle's joy flood her face.  "Here," she handed Gabrielle a handful of dinars, "get supplies.  I'm going to take Argo over to the smithy's."

Gabrielle felt lost as she watched Xena's back walk from her.  Taking a deep breath, she sighed.  'Ok, nothing to be done but try to keep out of trouble.  I'll get the supplies quickly, no dawdling this time, keep my mouth shut, really try to do whatever Xena asks, and just maybe this will blow over.  Please gods, let it.'

Gabrielle made her way efficiently through the stands, getting only what was needed, and bargaining well enough that even Xena might approve.  Just as she was about to turn to the stables to find Xena, she happened to see a small table with jewelry.  Beautiful pieces aligned the surface and one in particular caught her eye.  "This is very breathtaking.  How much?" she asked the artisan sitting behind her treasures.

"Twenty dinars."

"Twenty?" she gulped at the high price.

"It's pure silver, very fine intricate work."

"Yes, it is."  Gabriel turned to reach for her personal money pouch, counting the meager contents.  "I only have thirteen." she sighed wistfully.

"But there is more in your other pouch."

"That's not mine to spend.  Please, could I talk you into putting this piece aside?  I might be able to come up with the rest a little later.  You see, I'm a bard, and sometimes people tip me for my stories."

"You must really want this.  It would look pretty around your neck."

"Oh, it's not for me.  For a friend." And she could feel the blush fill her face as she thought of the pendant around Xena's strong beautiful neck.

The woman looked into the sweet face of the bard oblivious to her surroundings as she thought of her friend.  It must be true love.  "Ok, I'm having a sale.  This hour only, this pendant is fifteen dinars."

Gabrielle looked at her startled.  "That's really sweet of you, but I still only have thirteen."

"You can't borrow just two from the other pouch?"

"No, this belongs to my friend.  But thank you," and she turned to leave.

True love it was.  "Wait.  Traveling bards get a special discount.  Only thirteen dinars."

Gabrielle turned excitedly at this generosity.  "I couldn't possibly take advantage of you like that."

"I remember what it's like to be in love.  Here, take."  And with that she slipped the pendant into a small leather pouch and handed it to the surprised bard.

'In love?  Just what had been on my face?'  Snapping herself out of her thoughts, she handed over her small purse, thanked the artisan profusely, and went running back to the stable in high spirits over this special gift. 

Xena was just coming out of the smithy's, feeling confident she had left Argo in good hands.  Now the task of finding the bard who undoubtedly had lost all sense of time and was caught up somewhere in the throng looking at each and every offering.  To her surprise, Gabrielle found her as she had gotten sidetracked by a display of knives and daggers.

"Xena, look!  I got all the provisions, and for a lot less than you gave me.  And I also got this!"

Her face beamed as she handed over the small leather pouch.  Xena's brow arched in wariness.  "Well, it seems that things are back to normal for her.  All is forgotten."  Xena reached in pulling out the pendant.  It was a beautiful carving of a horse with mane flying, strong and proud, reminding her of Argo.  'It is beautiful. But damn the gods, why is she wasting our money on trinkets!' 

"Isn't it amazing?!" Gabrielle giggled with anticipation at Xena's response.

"Glad to see you think I'm made of money."

"What - ?"

"Just because I hand you a fistful of dinars, doesn't mean you have to spend every one."

"But I di-"

"Just take it," she said roughly holding out her hand, "I'm sure you can't wait to put it on."

Gabrielle stared at Xena unable to fathom this dark mood.  Carefully she put the provisions down at Xena's feet, and then handed her the remaining dinars.  "Here's your change.  And I got the pendant for you. I know you don’t usually wear jewelry, but I thought you'd like it because it looks like Argo."  With that, she turned and walked away melting into the crowd.

Xena stood frozen, dumbfounded by this expression of love.  'Dumb, dumb, dumb.  What's wrong with me?  Why am I acting this way to the one person who's shown me kindness?'

Shaking herself, Xena slipped the pendant back into the pouch and onto her belt, than grabbed up the parcels to tuck safely away with Argo's saddle.  Determinedly she dove into the sea of people to find her bard and somehow set things right.

Gabrielle had wondered down to the end of the street to watch the traveling show hoping to distract herself from her conflicting feelings.  She watched half-heartedly as one of the troupe juggled balls, then knives, then torches.  The spectators stood spellbound cheering and applauding.  Next a woman stepped onto the raised platform carrying a lyre and began to strum plaintively.  The bard noticed that she was almost as tall as Xena with long chestnut hair.  'Great.  I came here to get my mind off of Xena.'  Then the woman began to sing and the normal chatter that occurs in a crowd disappeared.  When she had finished, the cheers were louder than before. 

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, " the robust leader Jax began.  "  If you enjoyed Arianna's music, please feel free to fill the hat.  And now we have a special treat for you.  We present our master of illusion, Tyrus."

A slender fellow with pinched features stepped out and began with the usual tricks, pulling coins out of ears, making small items disappear.  While the children were enthralled, the adults began to talk, quickly losing interest.  As the crowd shifted, Xena spotted the strawberry blonde close to the platform.

"Gabrielle."  Now that she'd found her what should she do?  She looked into the piercing green eyes that were still red-rimmed with dried tears.  'Apologize, you big oaf.  Beg for forgiveness.  Just say something!'  "I'm ready to go."  The tiny shoulders visibly sagged just as a voice broke through their tension.

"You there, the little blonde lady in the front, if you would be so good as to lend us a hand." 

Realizing that Tyrus was speaking to her, Gabrielle turned, grateful for the postponement, and jumped onto the stage.  "Let's give the lady a hand for volunteering.  Now my dear, check these manacles for me if you will."  He passed the heavy manacles for Gabrielle's inspection which she scrutinized carefully.  "Ahh, it seems the lady knows her chains."  Laughter rippled through the crowd as Gabrielle blushed and Xena glared.  "Now if you would be so good as to secure these to my wrists and ankles.  Yes, that's it.  Thank you.  Now you should search my person to make sure I have no key hidden."  This brought another round of laughter, but Gabrielle deftly searched the man to the crowd's amusement.  "Find anything of interest, my dear?"

"Well, I didn't find a key," she smiled sweetly as the crowd hooted more.

"And now if you could please stand right behind me.  Thank you."  And with no further fanfare, Tyrus stretched out his arms shaking the chains vigorously, then bent over as if to touch his toes, and before anyone knew what was happening, somersaulted forward free of the manacles.  As he bounced to his feet, he stepped back to direct the crowd's attention to Gabrielle who stood frozen staring at the manacles that she now wore.  Cheers exploded as Tyrus beamed, bowing elegantly. "Thank you!  Thank you!  And I think we should also thank my sweet assistant."  Tyrus delicately pulled a key from Gabrielle's bodice and began to unlock the manacles.  "Please, my dear, tell us your name so we can thank you properly."

Regaining her composure, Gabrielle let her voice spread over the crowd, "I'm Gabrielle the Bard from Potedeia."

Jax bounded forward upon hearing this.  "A bard?!  Then surely we are in for even more treats today.  Please, Gabrielle, won't you share one of your stories with us?"

"Well, I …"

"I think our bard needs a little encouragement, folks."  And encourage they did.

Gabrielle smiled, took a deep breath, and began to weave a tale of adventure, heroes, love, and redemption.  Xena watched as her friend came alive telling her tale.  The people became quiet, hanging on her every word. 'She's so beautiful when she speaks.  This is what she should be doing, not following me around.  Surely this is her rightful destiny.'  

As Gabrielle finished her tale, people were applauding as some wiped tears from their eyes.  Jax stepped to Gabrielle's side.  "That was magnificent," he purred in her ear.  "All right, folks, let's give it up for the young Bard of Potedeia."  Applause continued as Tyrus and Adrianna walked among the people holding out coffers to be filled.  Bounding back on the stage, they passed the brimming containers to Gabrielle.  "Thank you, Gabrielle, for giving our small show such a dramatic ending.  And thank all of you for your attention to our humble offerings.  We have greatly enjoyed our stay in your beautiful town.  Good day to you and may the Gods bless you."

In good spirits the crowd dispersed, chattering excitedly.

Jax turned to Gabrielle taking her hands, holding them gently.  "You are a talent, Gabrielle.  We could use someone like you in our troupe.  You would add a whole new dimension."

"It would be wonderful to have another woman in the company," Adrianna ventured.

Tyrus merely beamed, nodding enthusiastically .  Gabrielle was overcome with the feeling of comfort these people gave.  'How nice it would be to travel with people who understand me, who see me as contributing to the group.  So tempting, but I could never leave Xena.  When I'm with her, the world feels right.'  Gabrielle looked at the silent warrior who stood listening to the exchange, but offering no interference.  There was darkness on that face, but the steel blue eyes flickered for an instant with fear, Gabrielle was sure.  "Thank you, but I have other commitments."

A spark lit Jax's eyes for a heartbeat and was gone as he smiled warmly.  "Our loss indeed.  But if you should change your mind, we're traveling west from here."

"Really?  That's the way we're headed, too … I think."  She glanced at Xena for confirmation and was barely able to discern an affirmative nod.

"Perhaps we might travel a ways together?"

"That would be wonderful," Gabrielle blurted out, realizing instantly she had crossed the line with the brooding warrior.  Cautiously she glanced at Xena who merely shrugged and headed for the smithy's.

"We'll be packed and ready to leave in a candle mark.  Mouse!"  A young boy of ten appeared out of nowhere. "Time to close it up and move, boy.  Meet you outside the gates, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle couldn't believe they could so quickly gather all their things, and wondered at their haste to leave, but was more concerned with her friend, hurriedly putting the troupe out of her mind.  She caught up to Xena at the smithy's where she was just finishing loading Argo.

"Xena, I'm sorry about accepting their invitation.  I should have asked you first.  I was just excited and-"

"It's all right, Gabrielle."

"It is?"  the bard asked startled.

Completing her ministrations of Argo, Xena continued without eye contact, "Things have been a little tense lately-"

'A little?  The master of understatement as usual.'

"-and maybe a little distraction would be good."  'and also give Gabrielle the opportunity to think seriously about their offer.  They certainly could give more than I can.'  

CHAPTER 3   

Laughter and excited chatter rang from the wagon as they made their way down the rode.  Xena rode ahead in silence very aware of Gabrielle's captivation with her new companions.  Before the travelers realized, Xena was signaling that it was time to set up camp for the night.  With so many hands to help, camp was set in short order and supper cooking.  Though Xena tried to stay on the fringes, Jax would not allow it. 

"Please, let us share our wine with you," he said as he poured her goblet full, then sat beside her.

"Fine horse you have."

"I raised her from a foal."

"Just beautiful.  I once had a horse very similar."  And Jax began a rather long-winded tale, barely coming up for air.

'And I thought Gabrielle talked a lot,'  the warrior smirked.  'At least he keeps my mug filled. And it really is good wine.'  Xena rarely drank this much, especially with strangers, but there was something about it, hard to resist.

"Gabrielle's been telling us of all your adventures together."

"Gabrielle talks too much." 

The strawberry blonde head spun sharply at the comment, sorrow in her eyes.  She turned back away, busying herself with the fire.

"Still, it must be nice having someone to share it all with."

"What's nice is having someone to do the cooking, when she doesn't burn it, that is."

Shoulders stiffened, but continued their work.  Jax's eyes darted between the two, a flicker of a smile crossing his lips.  It seemed the warrior was oblivious to the damage she was doing.  Maybe he could help things along.  "Well, we all have a problem with the fire now and then, but I'm sure there are many other ways Gabrielle helps in your travels."

"When I'm not having to save her ass."

A plate clattered to the earth, breaking.

"Did I mention she's a bit of a klutz?"

Quickly Gabrielle turned, looking questioningly into the steel blue eyes. 'Was Xena teasing?  Was she serious?  Maybe she'd just had too much to drink.  Yeah, that was it.  It was the wine talking.  Or maybe the wine was letting her talk, revealing her true feelings.'

Jax continued to fill the goblet and encourage Xena's barrage of put-downs.  Gabrielle became uneasy with the change in the atmosphere around the little camp.  There was something in Jax's eyes that told her he was enjoying this turn of events.  Gabrielle glanced at Adrianna and Tyrus and noticed a subtle change in their demeanor, too.  Was she being paranoid?  Xena certainly was relaxed.

"So, Xena, you never told me if you enjoyed our little show."

"I only caught the end.  Tyrus there and the trick with the chains.  That was nice."

"I'm sure you've already figured out how he does it."

"Bet I could if I could get a look at them."

"Then you shall.  Tyrus!  Bring over the manacles you use in the show."

Tyrus smiled and nodded, handed something to Mouse, then approached with the chains.

"Tyrus, let Xena have a look at those.  She wants to see if she can uncover your secret."

"Sure thing," he said tossing them to her.

Xena carefully inspected the manacles and soon discovered a hidden switch and hinge.  Fiddling with them for a few moments, she soon got them to open for her.  "Very clever," she said, handing them back.

"Thank you," Tyrus beamed.  "Getting them off is easy.  The real trick is slipping them on the person behind you.  The key is picking someone short.  Care to give it a try?"

"That's ok-"

"Xena, I'm surprised at you," Jax goaded as he stepped between them.  Gabrielle was watching the goings on carefully and thought she saw Mouse move to Tyrus and then disappear. 

'Something is definitely up.'

"You've figured out Tyrus's secret.  At least indulge him with a try," continued Jax.

"I understand, Xena.  Took me 10 tries to get it right.  You certainly wouldn't want to make a fool of yourself in the attempt," Tyrus laughed good-naturedly.

The warrior squared her shoulders as she rose.  "I think I will give it a try."

"Xena-" Gabrielle interrupted, "I don't think that's such a good idea right now."

"Well, I do."  And she turned to Tyrus allowing him to snap the manacles on her ankles and wrists.

"Jax, why don't you stand behind Xena?"

"Glad to oblige."

"Ready?  Go!"

Xena bent over, feeling for the levers, but couldn't find them.  Too late, she realized they'd been switched.  One very irate warrior straightened to growl at the men.  However the sudden movement caused her to feel even more lightheaded than she already was.  Before she could react, Jax had slipped another chain through a ring on the  ankle manacle and looped it around the tree directly in back of them.  Xena merely yelled in anger, unable to react quick enough, her reflexes having been badly impaired by the wine.  'Damn!  The wine was drugged!  Why didn't I realize?'

As soon as Gabrielle saw what was happening, she grabbed her staff and took a defensive stance.

"I don't know what your game is Jax, but I suggest you let her go right now."

"Ah, Gabrielle, we're just having a little fun," he sneered sinisterly.

Without hesitation, the bard swung at his head, but Jax was prepared and ducked easily.  "Mouse!  Now!"

Gabrielle felt a sharp prick in her shoulder.  "What …?"

"Sorry, Gabrielle."  He laughed as she valiantly tried to continue her attack.  'Gods!  Have I been poisoned or drugged? Doesn't matter … must get to Xena.'  Slowly she sank to her knees and then finally pitched forward, still and unmoving.

"Gabrielle, no …" Xena was close to crying as she watched the beautiful woman collapse just out of reach.

"So sorry, Xena, but that's it for your little friend.  Hemlock is very quick."

Xena turned to Jax trying to comprehend through the fog of her mind all that was happening.  "Why?"

"Because I can."  And with that he cracked the warrior across the skull with a club.

"Well done, Jax, " Adrianna complimented as she came forward to plant a kiss on his mouth.

"Thank you my dear.  Now we better move quickly.  Tyrus, grab the girl.  Adrianna, slip more of that drug into Xena's mouth.  Mouse, start packing up!  I'm taking the horse."  But try as he might, that proved to be impossible.  "Damn nag!" he screamed as he attempted to whip the horse into submission.  Suddenly, Argo bolted and ran into the forest.

"Losing your touch, Jax?"  Adrianna laughed.

"Shut up!  Grab the saddle and weapons and anything else of value you can find.  And be quick about it.  I want to be as far away from here as possible when Xena comes to."

CHAPTER 4

'Rocking … the floor is rocking.  Where am I?  What's going on?'

Gabrielle slowly regained her senses and tried to get her bearings.  Her hands were tied behind her and there was a gag in her mouth.  She was in some sort of wagon.  And then the memories came flooding back.  The traveling troupe, they had turned on her and Xena.  She looked around trying to find her friend and only succeeded in making herself nauseous.

"Hey Jax, it looks like someone's awake."  She could hear Adrianna say.

"Bout time, she slept the whole day away" came the reply from somewhere outside.  "Might as well stop for supper and start her lessons."

Gabrielle blinked.  She'd been out for almost twenty-four hours.  She felt the wagon halt and then rough hands pulled her outside.

"Nice of you to join us," Jax sneered.  Green eyes glared at him defiantly.  "Oh, you're just dying to rage at me, aren't you?"  He just laughed.

'Ok, Gabrielle, get it together.  Stay calm.  First find out what they've done with Xena.'  Gabrielle willed herself to be calm, pushing back the anger from her eyes.  Jax noticed the change and smiled approvingly.

"That's better.  Here, let's take this off."  He reached up and roughly yanked down the cloth.  The bard tried to moisten her lips to talk.  Her throat was scratchy and her voice barely came out above a whisper.  "Please, where's Xena?"

"We left her where she lay."

Calmly Gabrielle attempted to reason with her captor.  "Jax, you do realize that she will get out of those chains and then she'll come for me.  And I would hate to be you when she catches up to us."

"Scary image, the big bad warrior running in to chop our heads off."  Again he laughed and she could hear the others joining in.  "There's only one problem with that scenario, my dear, she'd have to be alive to carry it out."  More laughter rang in the air.

The blood drained from Gabrielle's face as she weakly blurted, "What …?"

"Come now, Gabrielle, do you think we'd be so stupid as to leave the warrior princess alive to come after us?  And it was easy, too, after she let us truss her up like a pig.  She was just asking for me to slit her throat."  The fierceness in his smile daunted her and she sank to her knees.

'Xena dead?  No, that's not possible.  He was lying, he had to be lying.'  And then she saw the chakram tied to his belt.  'By the gods, what if it's true?'  Tears came unbidden to her eyes and silently ran down her face.

"I know it's a bit of a shock, but certainly it's no surprise, given Xena's dark past.  It was bound to happen sooner or later."  Jax looked at the trembling woman to watch the impact of his words.  "Unfortunately for you, it means no one will be coming to your rescue.  You are alone, Gabrielle."

            * * * * *

Noises … soft thudding … smells … horse … blackness slowly giving way to greys.  Xena cautiously opened her eyes.  The sun was just coming up.  No, it was setting.  She wasn't sure.  Her mind was muddy and it was difficult to think coherently.  Her mouth tasted funny.  'Something there … what?'  She spat out the remnant of mushroom trying desperately to focus.  'Mushroom? … that's why the sun looks funny …must try to remember …why had she taken mushrooms?'  Then Xena became more aware of her body and realized there were manacles around her wrists and ankles.  She yanked on the chains and soon discovered she was tethered to a tree.  'What happened?!'  Gently she looked around for captors, but found herself alone.  Then she saw Gabrielle's staff lying in the dirt beyond her.  The memories rushed at her with ferocity 'til she howled in pain.  'They killed Gabrielle!  By the gods, they killed Gabrielle ….'  Tears tore at her eyes and she yanked repeatedly on the chains in anguish.  Then abruptly she turned and flung herself at the tree, beating at it with closed fists.  She had to hurt something, even herself, to deal with this overwhelming grief.  But she was weak from the drug and lack of water, and soon collapsed back into oblivion.

                                                                        * * * * *

"She's been like that for a full candlemark.  How much longer are you going to let her sit there?"  Adrianna sneered.  "I think you're going soft, Jax."

"I just wanted a chance to enjoy my supper first.  And now it's time for dessert," he smiled wickedly as he rose, moving toward the still figure.  Reaching out, he slipped a leather collar around Gabrielle's neck, then attached a short chain to it.  Next he cut her hands free, watching as they fell to her sides useless.  Then Jax slipped manacles on the slender wrists.  "All right, on your feet."

Gabrielle didn't move, she didn't even look at him.

"I said on your feet!" He yelled hauling her up by the chain.  Gabrielle's eyes smoldered with hate as she slowly looked at him.  "From now on you will do as I say," he began quietly.  "I am your master now, girl."  Gabrielle merely spit in his face in response.  Jax was startled and his anger flared as he heard his companions laughing.  Quickly he lashed out, slapping the young woman across the face hard enough to send her back to her knees.  Grabbing the chain, he yanked her back up and snarled, "You do that again and you're dead."

"I'm already dead.  You killed me when you killed Xena."

"Wrong, little girl, but you'll wish I had when I'm through."

"Not likely, Jax."  Slap!  Her head snapped fiercely to the side.  Blood trickled from her lip.

"From now on you will refer to me as Master."

"I'll refer to the man who murdered Xena as coward."  Slap! Slap!  The bruise that had begun to heal from two days ago turned ugly in seconds.

"You will call me Master!" he raged.

"Yes, oh master of cowardice," she smiled as the hand fell again.

"Say Master!"

"When Tarturus is cold, Jax, you pathetic excuse for-"  This time he hit her with his closed fist and she went down to the earth, her eye already swelling closed.  He yanked up the chain bringing her to her knees while yanking out a dagger from his belt.  Gabrielle merely smiled peacefully at him, content that she had brought him to anger so easily.  Jax felt a hand grab his wrist and he turned to face Tyrus.

"She got you, Jax.  You are losing your touch."

Jax's head snapped back to glare at the girl, then shoved her to the ground, walking away to get his bearings.  He paced madly then slowed, eyeing her as that malicious grin again crossed his face.

"Tyrus is right Gabrielle.  You got me.  But I'll prove to you I'm the Master.  When I'm through, you will have forgotten your old life, forgotten Xena, forgotten even your own name."  Jax strode across to the wagon with purpose, searching.  He returned with a wineskin, grabbed Gabrielle roughly by the jaw prying her mouth open and pouring the bitter liquid down her throat.  Though she fought to free herself, it was useless, and she sputtered and gagged and swallowed in spite of her efforts.  When Jax was satisfied she had taken enough in, he threw her back down, waiting for the drug to take effect.  "I think I'll name you Bug," he said serenely as he circled.  "Yes, a bug I can squash at any time.  Just think about that … Bug."  Again he yanked her around and poured more of the wineskin down her throat.  Gabrielle's mind was beginning to blur and it became hard to focus.  Suddenly she was being pulled to her feet.  "Now you will stand there until you beg me to allow you to sit."  And with that Jax grabbed a stool and sat himself down to wait. 

Gabrielle looked at him blearily.  No way was she giving in to this piece of scum, but if she could only concentrate, it would be so much easier.  Without thinking, she began to sit and was immediately slapped and yanked back up.  "You didn't ask first." 

And so the night went.  Gabrielle would forget the conditions and begin to sit.  Jax would slap her roughly and pull her back up.  Then he would pour more of that strange drink down her, and then he began to talk.  And he kept talking and wouldn't shut up, wouldn't give her a moment's peace.  His voice kept hammering at her the whole night, slowly insinuating itself into her mind until she couldn’t separate her thoughts from his.  There was something she desperately needed to hang onto, but she couldn't remember any more what that was.  The night became morning and still he talked and hit and forced her to drink.  The morning turned to noon and the sun beat down hot, and still he talked. 

His companions went about their business, betting on who would break first.  But as noon turned to evening, they became uneasy.  They had lost an entire day of travel, an entire day of putting distance between themselves and Xena.  And then the moon began to rise and slide slowly across the sky.  Tyrus  roughly grabbed Jax by the arm and pulled him aside.  "Come sun up, we leave.  We can't afford to waste another day."

"We leave when I say!"  He was obsessed, his face contorted.

And then so quietly as to barely be audible came a weak voice, "Please …. may I sit?"

Jax spun back to the girl with anticipation. "May I sit, what?" he demanded.

"May I sit, Jax?"  Slap!  "May I sit …Master?" 

A smile spread across his face as he looked at her triumphantly.  "Yes.  Yes, you may sit, Bug."

                                                                         * * * * *

It was many hours before Xena regained her senses and when she did, all she could do was to lie on her back staring at the sky.  The drug had almost completely left her system now and her mind was beginning to clear.  But still, she couldn't bring herself to move.  Gabrielle was gone, what was the point.  Then Argo nuzzled her, pushing on her, demanding her attention.

"Leave me alone," her voice cracked.  "You'd probably be better without me, too."  She turned her back on the horse, but Argo wasn't done with her yet.  The great horse pushed and prodded and pulled 'til at last Xena sat up, then rose to wrap her arms around the big neck, burying her face into the hide to finally cry.  When the tears finally stopped, Xena turned to survey her situation.  The first thing she noticed was that there was no body.  Surely the troupe wouldn't have cared enough to bury Gabrielle?  Where was her body?  And then the realization hit her and hit her hard!  She was a fool, a self-indulgent fool!  It had been a lie!  A lie she had believed in her intoxicated state.  Gabrielle was alive.  'By the gods!  How much time have I wasted in self-pity while Gabrielle needed my help?!'   Quickly Xena pulled out her breast dagger and began to pick the locks on the manacles.  Her hands shook and her eyes were still having trouble focusing properly so it took time to finally spring the mechanisms.  A candle mark later she had gathered what few provisions had been left, and mounted Argo bareback to search for her bard, her friend, her life.

Chapter 5

Fear and desperation can make you reckless, careless.  Even Xena was not immune as she found herself for the first time overcome with feelings so strong she blindly raced from one village to the next.  As near as she could figure, she had been out two whole days, then wasted a day in self-pity.  When she had finally taken off, the sun was beginning to set, and the troupe had doubled back causing her to lose the trail in the dark wasting even more time.  She was always several days behind.  At each village she questioned the inhabitants.  Yes, a traveling troupe had been through.  No, they'd not seen a small blonde girl.  But Xena knew this was the correct group she followed by all the descriptions and so pushed on.  But at a price.  The warrior became oblivious to Argo and when racing through the night, the faithful horse stumbled and fell.  Xena had been thrown free, but cringed as she came to face Argo.  Rubbing her hands down the legs, she let out a grateful sigh and prayer to find nothing broken.  But the leg had been strained and so Xena was forced to stop her search while Argo recovered.  Xena knew she was losing more time, quite possibly allowing the trail to grow cold.  Fear and desperation now caused her to do something she never did.  Xena, warrior princess, sank to her knees and begged the gods.

"Artemis, Gabrielle is one of your Chosen, your Amazon Princess.  Please, help me to find her. Please keep her safe until I can find her.  Just let her be all right and I vow to protect her with my life 'til I can get her back to the safety of your Amazons.  And then I'll leave! I'll stay out of her life so that I can never hurt her again.  Please, Artemis, I ask this for Gabrielle."

The air shimmered for an instant, and Artemis appeared, proud and beautiful.  "I also want my Princess safe, warrior."

'Yes!  She is alive!'

 "I will help you for a price."

Without hesitation Xena snapped, "Anything."

"You will protect her life with your own-"

"Done!"

"You will take her to the Amazons for healing."

"Done!"

"You will never leave her side, unless she requests it."

Xena was struck dumb.  Did she hear right?

"I don't understand it, warrior, but my Princess has chosen you as her friend, her companion.  Until she tires of you, you will forever remain at her side.  Do I have your pledge?"

Xena gulped.  This was what she wanted so why was it so hard to say yes?

"Answer quickly.  There is little time left before we lose her completely."

Steadily she answered, "I pledge."

Artemis ran her hand over Argo's leg healing it immediately.  Then she turned to touch Xena's chest and the warrior felt a tingling straight to her heart.  "That warmth you feel is Gabrielle.  As you get closer it will become stronger.  No more searching.  Just follow your heart."  And she shimmered away into the air.  Before the glimmer had dissipated, Xena was mounted and racing the wind itself.

                                                                           * * * * *

It had been a month since she had lost Gabrielle the moon teasingly reminded her.  Xena didn't know if Argo raced so unerringly because of the light or Artemis' blessing.  But by the time the moon had reached its zenith, she had found their camp.  Her heart beat wildly as she circled the fringes looking for signs of Gabrielle while keeping an eye on the troupe.

"Bug!  Get me more wine!"  Jax's voice called out to someone.  Xena watched as a small girl in a tattered dirty shift and heavy manacles shuffled forward.  Her hair was dirty and matted and hid her face.  She tipped the wineskin and accidentally sloshed some over the mug.  "Damn it, Bug, watch what you're doing!" he said, jumping up and slapping her down.

"Y-y-yes, master."

The voice barely traveled to Xena's ears, but there was no mistaking its owner.  The blood pounded in her head as she recognized the young bard.  Her warrior's cry filled the night and she leapt into the camp startling everyone.  Jax was the first to respond, grabbing up the frightened girl as a shield.  Then Tyrus picked up Xena's own sword and ran at her.  It was the last thing he did.  Meanwhile, Adrianna had scrambled to the horses making her escape.  Mouse stayed very still looking from Tyrus dead at his feet to Jax slowly backing towards the remaining horses, dragging a helpless Gabrielle, knife to her throat.

"You want the girl? Put your sword down."

"I'll put it down in your black heart."

"Xena, let's be reasonable.  I'll give you the girl for my life."

"And why should I believe you?" she snarled, aching to tear him to pieces.

"Because I know I won't live if I do kill her."  The warrior's brow arched.  "But if you insist on killing me, I promise I'll take her with me."

They stood frozen for long minutes.  Finally Xena threw the sword down.

"Mouse, pick it up and throw it as far as you can into the woods."

Timidly the boy approached and did as he was told.

"Thank you, Xena."  And with quick motion, he threw Gabriel forward, racing for a horse and for freedom.  "Enjoy her, Xena," Jax yelled over his shoulder, "I know I did."  And the night swallowed him up.

Though Xena ached to go after him, she knew her first priority was Gabrielle.  She raced to her side, kneeling beside her and tried to wrap the girl in her arms, but Gabrielle pulled away whimpering, folding herself into a fetal position.

'She's in shock.  Who wouldn't be.  I just need to go slow.  Give her time to realize it's me.'

"Gabrielle, it's Xena.  You're safe now.  He's gone.  You're safe.  Please, Gabrielle, let me help you."

Hollow green eyes barely peeked from behind unkempt bangs before again looking at the ground.  The warrior tried again to pick Gabrielle up, but she merely cried more like a beaten dog and grew rigid under her touch.  Her heart broke as she looked on this frightened creature.

"By the gods, what did that monster do to you?" 

"He broke her."  Xena had completely forgotten about the boy.  She turned on him now, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him close.

"I want you to tell me everything that bastard did!"  Her eyes were like flame as she stared at the trembling child.

"Are you going to kill me, too?" his voice squeaked.

In that instant, Xena came back to herself. She forced herself to regain control, to quiet the rage. "No, boy.  Just tell me what he did.  Help me to help my friend."

Mouse seemed to be thinking it over, finally deciding he could trust her word and nodded solemnly.  "What do you want me to do?"

"I need to examine her, see if she's hurt.  How do I get her to let me touch her?"

The boy turned to the trembling girl.  "Bug!" he said firmly.  "Come here."  Slowly Gabrielle uncurled herself and crawled the few feet to them both, head staying down.  "Bug, this is Xena.  She's going to take care of you now.  Master is gone.  You belong to Xena now."

Xena's head snapped around to look at the boy, anger mounting.  Fearfully the boy explained.  "I'm sorry, but I don't know any other way."

Swallowing, Xena turned back to her friend.  'This is what Artemis meant when she said she might be lost to us.'   She would do whatever she had to to bring her back to herself.

"Gabrielle-"

"Bug.  Her name's Bug."

Xena snarled at Mouse, "Her name is Gabrielle!"

"But she doesn't know that," he pleaded.

"Ok, one step at a time.  Gabr- …" Xena growled deep inside, "Bug … listen carefully.  Your name is Gabrielle.  Do you understand?  I'm not going to call you Bug.  No one is ever going to call you Bug again.  Your name is Gabrielle, all right?"

And the bard nodded in understanding.

"Great.  Ok, that's one.  Gabrielle, I'm going to look at you to see if you're injured.  I'm going to touch you, but I promise, I'm not going to hurt you."  Xena waited for some sort of response, but realized none would come.  Gently, ever so slowly, the warrior reached out and brought Gabrielle's chin up to look in her face.  The bard allowed her head to be moved but averted her eyes.  Xena gritted her teeth as she stared at old cuts and bruises on the young woman's face.  No permanent damage, but definitely in need of treatment.  Carefully Xena picked Gabrielle up, sitting her on a log and began her examination.  Bruises and cuts laced her body.  Xena had seen far worse as a warrior, but seeing her innocent friend like this turned her stomach.

"Ok, first thing we do is get these off you.  Mouse can you find the key for me?"

"Sure."  And he was off.  Xena tried to coax her friend to look at her, but gave up when she saw the tension it was causing.  "Here you are, Xena," he said proudly handing her the key.

"Thanks, Mouse."  She gave him a warm smile, then turned to remove the chains and collar.  Gabrielle's neck and wrists were raw and Xena couldn't stop the tear that ran down her cheek.  "Gabrielle, I think the next order of business should be a bath.  What do you say?  I know you hate to go more than 3 days without one and it looks like you've gone an entire moon.  Let's go down to the stream, ok?"

Slowly Xena rose offering her hand, but Gabrielle stood on her own continuing to look at the ground.

"Mouse, grab my pack there on the saddle horn, and the saddlebags and bring them along.  Ok, Gabrielle, just follow me."  Xena turned, heading for the stream, hearing the shuffling behind her.  Every step tore at her heart, but she couldn't think about her feelings.  She needed to put all her energies into Gabrielle.  "I've got to be strong for her.  Artemis, please help me to do this right.'  They reached the small stream and Xena removed her armor and leathers, leaving only the light shift she wore underneath.  Then she turned to her friend, gently picking her up and carrying her into the water.  There she slipped the shift off, stifling a gasp when she saw the woman's back.  "Mouse, throw me the soap stone."  With a tenderness that Xena had not known she possessed, she bathed the dirt from her friend, washing her hair, cleaning her wounds.  And the entire time, Xena talked.  She murmured silly things about the water, the fish, the moon, anything she could think of.  She tried to soothe her friend with her voice as Gabrielle had done so many times for her.  'To think I ever wished you silent.  Gods, forgive me.  Gabrielle, forgive me.'

"Ok, Mouse, turn around, we're coming out."

"I've already seen her-" but the rest of the words froze as the warrior glared at him and he obediently turned his back. 

Xena carried Gabrielle out of stream and placed her on a blanket, then tenderly dried her.  Fishing in her saddlebags, she found the bard's nightshirt and slipped it over her.  Drying herself hastily, Xena grabbed a dry shift for herself.  "Coast is clear, Mouse."  The boy turned and timidly approached, sitting to watch.

"Gabrielle, I'm going to put some ointment on your wrists and neck now."  Still no response, just acceptance of her fate.  "It might sting a little, but it will help you, I promise."  The bard's body jerked slightly as the ointment touched the raw skin, but she kept herself still in the warrior's grasp.  "Now I'm going to pull up your night shirt in the back and put this on the lash marks.  I'm afraid this will probably hurt a little more.  Are you ready?"  The girl readied herself, but Xena hesitated.  "Gabrielle, I'm not going to do this until you tell me it's all right.  Now tell me, are you ready?"

Fearfully the words escaped her lips, "Yes, Mistress."

Xena froze, stung by those simple words.  She didn't know what to do. She wanted to scream, to shake Gabriel into realization of who and what they were to each other, but she knew it would only do more harm.  Getting herself under control, she began to spread the healing ointment on as gently as she could.  There were only two fresh ones that caused the small woman to jerk.  Then they were done and Xena lowered the shirt, covering the horror of the last moon.  Trying to sound cheery, Xena began, "All right, how about we get a fire going?"

To her surprise, Gabrielle bounded up and quickly began looking for wood almost frantic. 

"Whoa, Gabrielle, that's ok.  I don't want you to make the fire.  I want you to sit and rest, ok?  Mouse and I will take care of everything.  You just sit down on the blanket." 

Gabrielle looked sideways at this strange woman who was allowing her rest.  Was this a test?  A trick?  Would she be punished if she didn't work?  She reached for more wood.

"Gabrielle, no."   The bard dropped the stick as if it were on fire and braced herself for punishment.  Xena saw the fear grip her friend.  She would have to be very careful with her tone.  Gabrielle was much too sensitive right now.  "I'm sorry, Gabrielle, I didn't mean to snap.  Just sit and rest, please …. please."  Confused, the bard sat, keeping watch on the warrior.

In record time, Xena had a fire blazing and was making a tea with healing herbs and something to help her friend relax and sleep.  When it had cooled enough, she took the mug to her friend, holding it for her.  "Here you go.  This will make you feel better."

Gabrielle didn't move, but glanced sideways at her.  "Gabrielle, this has herbs in it to help your body.   It also has something to help you sleep.  It's safe.  Look," and with that Xena took a sip.  "See?  Good stuff.  Drink it, please."  Patiently she held out the cup, not forcing, but waiting.  Timidly Gabrielle took the drink and began to sip.  "That's my girl," Xena beamed.  "Now how about a little fruit or cheese … maybe some bread?  You've lost weight," she finished in concern.  Again Xena reached in her packs and pulled the food out.  "How about you, Mouse?  Hungry?" 

The boy nodded eagerly and reached for the offered food stuffing it into his mouth greedily.  Then Xena extended the food to Gabrielle who timidly took a small piece of bread, quickly shoving it into her mouth before it could be taken back. 

"Would you like more?" she asked, continuing to hold out the offering.

"Yes, Mistress."  And she timidly grabbed for a piece of cheese while Xena bit her tongue to keep from snapping at the title, "mistress."  Remaining still, the warrior's patience was rewarded when Gabrielle slowly reached for a piece of fruit.  "Good.  Feeling better?"  Gabrielle nodded sluggishly.  "Feeling sleepy?"  Again she nodded.  "Ok, let's all get some sleep.  Mouse, help me get the blankets and take care of Argo."  The boy quickly fell in step beside her, while Gabrielle slowly lowered herself to her blanket.  She tried to keep her eyes open to keep watch, but soon was lost to sleep.  When Xena returned to the side of her friend she was fast asleep.  Gently Xena covered the bard and lay on her side next to her, careful not to touch her.  Propping herself up on her elbow, the warrior watched the face of her friend as it slowly relaxed, becoming more like the face she had grown to love.

Chapter 6

Lying still in her bedroll, Xena heard movement in their camp.  Reaching out with her senses, she tried to determine if it was wildlife or an intruder.  She heard something being picked up and sprang into action.  Rolling backwards out of her covers, she grabbed the sword that lay at her head, and stood facing – "Gabrielle?" 

The bard fell to her knees, muttering over and over, "Sorry I woke you, Mistress.  Sorry I made noise.  Please don’t hurt me.  Please, I'm sorry."

Xena stood perplexed, dropped the sword, and tried to reassure her friend.  "Gabrielle, it's all right.  I just didn't know who was moving around.  Thought it might be someone who wanted to harm us.  It never occurred to me it was you up so early.  You've always hated mornings."  She paused to get her own bearings.  "Gabrielle, just what were you doing?"

"I always get up early to stoke the fire and have breakfast waiting, ready for my master."

"Yeah … ok.  Well, it's too early for anyone to be up after the night we had.  Please come back and try to sleep some more."

Timidly Gabrielle slipped past the warrior and lay back down on her blanket.  Again Xena covered her, but this time Gabrielle watched with wide eyes, fearful.  Xena's heart ached to look into those eyes as they were now.  'I'm gonna bring you back, Gabrielle.  I don't know how, but I promise you will not stay like this.'

"It's ok, Gabrielle, just close your eyes and sleep."  Xena continued to watch as the young woman shut her eyes quickly, remaining stiff.  And without realizing it, Xena began to hum an old lullaby she remembered her mother singing.  She kept humming as she saw the tension leave her friend's face.

                                                                             * * * *

The sun rose too soon pushing the weary travelers out of their blankets.  Argo whinnied at them as if to ask if they were going to sleep the day away.

"We're up, Argo, I'll be with you in a moment.  Mouse, why don't you get the fire going.  I'll see if I can catch us something nice this morning.  Gabrielle, would you roll up the blankets and get some water from the stream?"

The bard nodded and quickly went into motion.  As Xena started into the woods she whispered to Mouse, "Keep an eye on her.  If there's any trouble, you yell."

Xena really didn't want to leave even for a short time, but knew food was important for Gabrielle right now.  In short order she returned with two rabbits, happy to see all was well with the camp.  Skinning them efficiently,  Xena soon had them over the fire roasting.

"While we wait for those to cook, I want to put more ointment on you, Gabrielle."  Sitting the young woman in front of her, Xena gently applied the soothing cream.  "It's looking better already.  How does it feel?"

Barely above a whisper, she heard the reply, "Fine, thank you, Mistress."

'Enough is enough.  I can't take this anymore.'  "Ok, Gabrielle, time for another step.  My name is Xena, got that?  You will call me Xena, not mistress, all right?"  The girl was trembling as she nodded yes.  "Gabrielle, I'm not mad.  It just makes me uncomfortable.  We're friends, don't you remember?"

Slowly the girl peeked sideways at this tall woman.  'She looks like the other mistress, Adrianna.  And yet she looks familiar, not at all like the other one.'

"Gabrielle, I know Jax did things to you to make you forget.  But I want you to try to remember.  We've been riding together almost two years.  You're a bard, you tell wonderful stories.  You're also an Amazon Princess.  You fight with a staff."  She looked intently at the young woman's face for some sign of recognition.  "It's all right.  Don't worry, it'll come back to you, promise.  Just call me Xena, ok?"

"Yes, Mis- " a gulp and then timidly, "Yes, Xena."

"Thank you.  Thank you very much.  Come on, let's eat."

The meal was devoured quickly though Xena kept having to urge Gabrielle to eat enough. 

"Let's clean up and get on our way.  Gabrielle, would you hand me something to wrap these leftovers in?"  Xena turned back to putting out the fire completely.  And then felt Gabrielle beside her, handing her some parchment.  "Thanks, Gabrielle-"  Xena's eyes saw the torn scroll in her hand and cried out without thinking, "What did you do?  This was Gabrielle's scroll.  It's ruined – it's …." And tears began to fall as she shook with rage over everything that had come to pass.  Xena didn't even notice when the fearful girl had walked quietly away, gotten the warrior's whip, and returned to kneel in front of her. holding the whip out to her.  Again Xena was struck motionless with what she saw.  Somehow she would find Jax and make him pay for this.

Kneeling beside the trembling figure, she took the whip and threw it far away from them both.  "Gabrielle, I'm sorry I yelled.  It's just that this is my Gabrielle's story.  And she's going to skin us both when she sees it.  But it was just a mistake.  I know that.  And we'll fix it somehow … together … all right?"  The young head nodded in agreement.  "Will you forgive me for yelling at you?" 

Green eyes turned fully on her in surprise.  'Is she really asking me to forgive her?'

"Yes, Xena."  And she watched as the warrior relaxed and attempted a smile.  'I've seen that crooked half-smile before.  Where?  Maybe I do know this woman.  Maybe she's telling me the truth.  Maybe I really am safe.'  Slowly, she returned the half-smile with one of her own and watched as this great warrior beamed at her like she'd just given her a treasure.

"Great.  All right then, let's head out.  Mouse, you jump up on Argo.  Ok, Gabrielle, your turn."  Xena noted the quick look of apprehension.  "Don't worry, you've ridden Argo before.  I admit you're not fond of riding, but you do like Argo.  And I really don't want you walking.  We need to give your body a chance to rest."  Helping her friend up, she took the reins and started down the road, leading them away from the memories of past pain.

The day moved uneventfully which was just fine with Xena.  They broke for a quick lunch, finishing off the rabbit from the morning, applied more ointment, and headed out again.  Along the way Xena and Mouse talked about the troupe, about Jax's method of breaking Gabrielle, and about Jax himself.  Checking on her friend, she could see no discomfort in Gabrielle as they talked, almost as if she wasn't there.

"Xena?"

"Yes, Mouse?"

"What's going to happen to me?"

"I've got some friends in the village up ahead.  They run a tavern and I think they could use an extra hand."

"You gonna sell me?"

"What?  No!  Mouse, they never had children.  I think they'd be good people for you to live with.  Also, you'll always have a roof and plenty of food.  If you don't like it, we'll find something else."

"Can't I travel with you?  I've been a help, haven't I?"

"A big help.  But the road is no place to grow up.  Just give it a try, see what you think, ok?"

"Ok," he mumbled, not sounding the least bit convinced.

They continued on silently until evening.  As Mouse and Gabrielle set up camp, Xena went hunting and returned with more rabbit.  This time, her friend needed little encouragement to eat.  'She's getting braver … or maybe she's beginning to believe I won't take her head off for taking too much.'  She couldn't help but smile as she watched the young woman stuffing her mouth almost without stop.  Suddenly Gabrielle realized the warrior was watching her.  She smiled sheepishly and slowed down, pausing to swallow.

"I'm glad to see your appetite is back.  Mouse, could you take care of clean up.  I have a project for Gabrielle."  Xena dug into her saddlebags pulling out Gabrielle's scroll box.  Opening it, she  brought out clean parchment, the torn scroll, quill, and ink.  "I said we'd fix it.  Thought we might get started tonight."

Gabrielle nodded enthusiastically obviously happy to be able to put to right her earlier mistake.

"Good.  I'll read the original and you write it down."  A look of concern crossed the girl's face.  "What's wrong?"

"I .. I don't know if I know how."

"Sure you do.  Here, we'll start like this.  Look at the words and just copy a few.  Go on, try, that's all I ask."

Cautiously the bard placed quill to paper and with great concentration copied the first few words.  With determination she continued as the writing turned from rough scratching to fluid movement.  Xena left her to her work as she pulled out her sword and whetstone.  This is how it use to be at their fire, the sounds of the whetstone on sword and quill on paper.  A moment of peace, a moment to believe everything was all right.  The hour became late and Xena decided they better get some sleep if they were to make it to the village tomorrow. 

"Gabrielle, I think it's time to turn in."

"But I haven't finished."  There was concern in her voice and her eyes darted about anxiously.

"You can't do it all in one night.  You can work on it again tomorrow.  Come on, sleep."

The bard reluctantly placed the things back into the scroll box and then touched it almost reverently.

"Gabrielle, here, let me put more cream on."  She studied her friend's face as she sat before her.  It was difficult for her to make eye contact.  Though the bard tolerated her touch, Xena could tell she still braced herself for something else.  'Time.  Just give her time.'  Then she noted the woman's continued glance at the scroll box.

"Did you enjoy working on the scroll?"

"Yes, the words are so beautiful."

"My Gabrielle wrote that."  Xena rumbled with pride.  "Enough talk.  Sleep."

                                                                         * * * * *

By mid-morning they arrived at the village.  It was small but lively and Mouse and Gabrielle looked around with excitement mixed with anxiety.  Xena stabled Argo at a smithy's and led them all to her friends' tavern.

"Hail, Marta!"

A plump, matronly woman looked 'round and squealed in delight as she saw the tall warrior enter.  "Xena!  Welcome back."  And she wrapped her in a big motherly hug.

"Marta, this is Mouse and Gabriel.  Mouse has no family and the road is no place for a boy-"

"Say no more."  She turned her attention to the child.  "Mouse, would you be interested in a place to stay?  I can give you room and board for chores done here."

"I don't know …"

"One of your duties would be to test the apple tarts to make sure they're good enough for the customers."

Mouse licked his lips at the prospect, "I guess I could give it a try."

"Good, let me introduce you to my husband, Whedon.  He's out back right now stacking wood.  I'll be right back, Xena.  Help yourself to a drink."

"Thanks, Marta."  Xena smiled, hopeful that Mouse would find the situation acceptable and stay.  "How about a drink, Gabrielle?"  Xena reached behind the counter and poured out cider for the both of them.  "I think we deserve a treat.  How about we stay the rest of the day here, make sure Mouse gets settled in.  Then we can spend the night in a real bed, before we start for Amazon country.  What do you say?"

"Whatever you wish, Mis- … Xena."

"I'd like to know what you wish."

Gabrielle looked at the warrior, uncertain and yet hopeful.  "I would like to sleep in a real bed."

"Good.  Then it's settled!"

At that moment Marta came gushing in, bubbling with excitement.  "Xena, thank you.  Mouse and Whedon are hitting it off I think.  This will be so good for all of us."

"Marta, do you have a room for us?  Gabrielle and I will be staying the night if you can put us up."

"No problem.  Take the third on the left and enjoy.  And if you need anything, you just let me know!"

"Thanks, Marta."  She grabbed their things and bounded up the stairs with Gabrielle close behind.  "What would you like to do first?  A bath?  Some food?  I'll even take you shopping."

"The scroll."

"What?"

"I wish to work on the scroll if that's all right."  Her eyes scanned the floor in avoidance.

"If that's what you really want."  She pulled the scroll box out, setting it on the table.  "I'll let you have a little private time and go see about re-stocking our supplies for the trip.  Will you be ok here by yourself?"

The bard nodded gently.  Xena turned to leave, then stopped at the door and turned around.  "You will be here when I get back, won't you?"

The young woman turned to catch the uncertainty in the warrior's eyes.  'Is she concerned I will try to escape?  But she could always chain me if that is her worry.  Why doesn’t she use the chains as Master did?  She has been gentle with me.  She's tended my wounds.  Could she possibly need me in some way?'  "Yes, I will be here … Xena."

The uncertainty slipped away to be replaced with warmth.  "I'll ask Marta to have Mouse bring something up for you.  I won't be too long."  And she disappeared down the hall.

"I'm almost finished."

"Well, take a break.  I'm putting the ointment on, then I'm taking you out for some fresh air."

                                                                         * * * * *

They wandered the streets looking at the various wares vendors had on display.  Though Xena hated shopping, this had always brought delight to Gabrielle.  She watched the bard secretively to see if she was having any fun.  There was interest in the eyes, but none of the old excitement.  Until they reached a vendor whose inventory contained parchment.  Though she remained perfectly still, her face took on a life of wonderment and awe.  Xena just smiled.  'At last she wants something!'

"Shall we get that for you?" the voice over her shoulder gently asked.

"Really?"  The smaller woman couldn't believe her good fortune.  First freed from the Master, then traveling with this one who was so gentle and caring, and now offered to buy her things! "Thank you.  Thank you!"

"You deserve it.  Come on, let's head back to the tavern for supper."

They made their way through the streets, Gabrielle fingering the parchment continuously.  Even through the meal, she couldn't take her hands off of it.  Xena was the most relaxed she'd been since finding her friend and she enjoyed watching the smile on her face.

"I have a feeling you're not interested in staying down here by the fire and listening to the minstrel play."  The bard looked embarrassed to have her thoughts read so easily.  "It's all right.  You go on up to the room and enjoy yourself.  I'll be up in a bit."  Xena watched as her friend almost ran up the stairs, happiness pouring out of her.  'Artemis, thank you.  Maybe we're on the right track now.'

Xena moved over to the bar to talk to Whedon.

"Xena, my friend, have a mug of ale on the house.  I want to thank you for bringing Mouse to us."

"How's he doing?"

"Great, just great.  Ah, here he is now.  Testing the tarts again?"

"Got to keep Marta on target you know," he smiled impishly.

"So, Mouse, what do you think about the place?"

"It's ok, I think I might stick around awhile."

The three of them continued chattering and Xena was much relieved things had turned out so well for them.  After several drinks, Xena realized it was getting late and excused herself to go up to her room.  She found the bard as she had earlier, bent over parchment at the table.

"Don't you ever get tired of that?" she laughed.

Gabrielle turned smiling broadly.  "I finished your Gabrielle's story."

"Then we're safe from her wrath.  So what's that you're working on?"

"Just thoughts … it felt right to put them down … I hope that's all right."

"Gabrielle, that parchment is yours to do with however you see fit.  Write thoughts, write a story, write a shopping list, it's ok."

"I would never waste it on a shopping list," she replied seriously.

"I know," the warrior chuckled as she reached for the healing cream.  "Let me do this, and then to bed."  This time Xena noticed that the bard was much more relaxed with her touch.  She took extra time and care applying the ointment.  'Her skin is so soft … and she's so beautiful … but she's also so fragile.  Just look at my big hand around her slender wrist.  I could hurt her so easily.  I have hurt her.'

"What's wrong?"  The young voice pulled her from her thoughts.  "You looked sad just now."

"Nothing for you to worry about," she said as she pulled her warrior's mask back into place.  "All done.  Let's get some sleep."  Xena moved away to pack their things and distract herself from her own thoughts.  When she turned back, Gabrielle was laying out a blanket on the floor.  "What are you doing?"

"There's only one bed."

"Oh." 'Damn, that bed would have felt so good right now.'  "I want you on the bed."  And Xena noticed a shadow cross her friend's eyes.  'What in Tartarus did I say now?  This watching herself was getting hard.  She turned away annoyed and began removing her armor and leathers, then reached for her nightshirt.  As she moved to lie down on the blanket, she saw Gabrielle lying on the bed, eyes shut tight and completely naked.  'By the gods, what now?!'   Walking over, she demanded, "Gabrielle, what are you doing?"

"Waiting, Mistress."

'Ouch, that hurts!'  Then she noticed quiet tears barely escaping closed eyelids.  "What exactly are you waiting for?"

"You, Mistress.  You said you wanted me on the bed."

"I didn't mean – I just wanted- oh, damn it, Gabrielle, put your night shirt on!" she sputtered, throwing the shirt at the girl.

Quickly the bard scrambled into the shirt before the warrior could change her mind.  "I'm sorry if I displeased you, Mistress."

Xena was at the end of her rope as she spun around growling, "And I thought we had that whole 'mistress' thing settled!  My name is Xena!  And I just wanted you to sleep on the bed, that's all!"

Gabrielle dared to look at the angry woman pacing the room.  'It's more than anger.  She's hurt.' 

"I'm sorry.  You smelled of drink.  You pointed to the bed.  I thought … I'm sorry."

Xena continued to pace a little more slowly wearing herself down.  "No, I'm sorry.  I should have realized that Jax probably made you … I guess I just didn't want to think about him doing that to you."  She peeked at her friend who was looking at the floor in shame.  "It's not your fault, you know.  He forced himself on you.  He's the one who should be ashamed.  Let's just forget about all this.  Lie down, sleep," her voice soothed as she pulled a blanket around her friend.

"But I thought you were looking forward to the bed.  I will sleep on the floor."

Controlling her tone, Xena reassured the small woman, "It's no big deal.  You've been through a lot.  You deserve this.  Now close your eyes and enjoy."

Taking a breath, Gabrielle dared to ask, "Would it be acceptable to share the bed?"

Xena's head snapped around,  "I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"You don't wish to share with … someone like me."

Again sorrow filled the ice blue eyes.  "I'd be honored to share the bed with someone like you."  Gently, Xena slipped beneath the covers, careful not to let their bodies touch.  "Thank you, Gabrielle."

"Thank you … Xena." 

And they stared into each other's eyes until Morpheus came to claim them.

Chapter 7
 

Dawn met the two travelers saying goodbye to the tavern’s owners.  They walked, Xena leading Argo, Gabrielle glancing back over her shoulder at Mouse.  It’s not that she was close to the boy, it’s just that he was the one thing she knew in her life.  Now she was alone with this tall imposing warrior.  But Xena could stand the slow pace only so long.  She wanted to get to Amazon territory as quickly as possible.  There she hoped the bard’s sisters would be able to bring her back to herself.  Easily Xena jumped into the saddle and offered her arm to her small friend.  Tentatively she grabbed hold and was swung up behind the warrior.

“Hang on, I’m going to let Argo stretch her legs.”

Gabrielle was trying to figure out what to hold onto when Argo gave a little jump forward and settled into an easy trot.  Quickly the young woman’s arms reached out for the warrior’s waist and Xena just as quickly grabbed onto those arms and held her snug. 

The morning moved as briskly as the mare, the sun warming them while the wind kept the heat at bay.  It was nearing lunchtime as Argo carried them at a crisp walk.  Xena was about to pull the horse over for a break when four ruffians slipped onto the road.

‘Gods!  Just once I’d like to have a nice boring uneventful day.’  It was obvious they meant to have what ever they could from the women as they laughed and taunted and twirled their weapons for show.

“Stay here, Gabrielle,” the warrior commanded as she slid from the saddle.

“Xena-“

“I said stay!” she growled.

“Yes, Mistress.”

‘Damn!  There goes that tone again.  Maybe it’s just as well.  I don’t want to have to worry about her while I’m talking care of these lugs.’

Xena met the group halfway, watching carefully, sizing them up.  Her sword slid out of its scabbard as she let it swing in the air.  The men began to circle, thinking to put her at a disadvantage.  The sword swung wide, but they were quick enough to evade the deadly blade.  Then they attacked in earnest, unmercifully showering blows as rapidly as possible.  While Xena was busy countering their moves, one of the men slipped away to go after whatever treasure Argo might hold.  Gabrielle watched wide-eyed as he approached.  Reaching up, he yanked the small bard roughly off the horse, throwing her to the ground.  He began to reach for the saddlebags, but Gabrielle reached out to grab his leg attempting to pull him back.  A hand quickly slapped her across the face.  And then she was under her own assault of raining blows. 

As Xena deftly turned to avoid a blade, the sight of her friend being pummeled by the large man met her eyes.  The darkness raged in her, pounding in her blood, and a cry to chill the soul leapt from her throat.  She vaulted over the men around her and ran at the one who had Gabrielle helplessly pinned.  Grabbing his head back, she let her sword slice across his throat, blood pouring down on all three of them.  The yells from his companions brought her around where she savagely plunged her blade into one, shoved her fist into the windpipe of another, then neatly spun around to snap the head of the third.  The bard lay frozen watching the horror before her.  Who was this woman who had been so gentle with her?  It was a lie.  This was the true nature of the warrior.

With the brigands dispatched, the warrior moved quickly to her friend's side.

"Gabrielle, are you all right?"  Concerned blue eyes searched her for injury, hands tenderly touched cuts and bruises.  "Just sit while I take care of this."  Xena reached for her medical pouch and the waterbag.  Pulling out a clean cloth, she wet it and washed Gabrielle's face.  Then she applied ointment.  Next she felt Gabrielle's sides, having seen  the purplish bruise begin to form.  "No ribs broken."  Xena looked into the eyes that were glazed in shock. "Gabrielle, why didn't you run when he came after you?"

The bard swallowed several times, finally she whispered, "You said stay."

And the warrior's heart broke again.  Without thinking, she gathered the smaller woman into her arms, rocking her, stroking her, begging for forgiveness. For several moments Xena continued until she realized she was doing it more for herself than for her friend.  Gaining control, she stood, lifting the girl in her arms and placing her back in the saddle.  "Let's get out of here."

Xena led them around the broken bodies and several miles down the road before pulling over to a glade and stream.  She helped her companion down, then busied herself cleaning them both up and getting food.  They ate in silence, each occupied with their own thoughts.  Gabriele ate little and Xena kept pushing more into her hands which she would take obediently.  When they'd finished, they continued sitting, Gabrielle  glancing sideways at the warrior wondering what darkness was sitting on her shoulders and whether she'd have to pay for it. 

Abruptly she spoke, starling the bard, "I was wrong to tell you to stay.  You need to be free to make your own decisions at each moment.  I'm so use to my Gabrielle ignoring me …." she trailed off, then, "Anyway, I'm sorry."

"Did you punish your Gabrielle when she disobeyed?"

"No! … Well … I guess in a way I did.  I yelled, then I wouldn't talk at all, or if I did, it would be hurtful.  That's what happened when I lost her."  Her jaw tightened keeping tears at bay.

"You miss her."

"Very much."  Having made a decision, she rose to her feet.  "I need to trust your judgement, Gabrielle.  I also need to make sure you can protect yourself.  You're an Amazon and your weapon is the staff."

"But I don't remember."

"Your mind doesn't, but I'll bet your body does.  Here."  She tossed the staff to her friend who caught it with ease.  "Just follow my moves."  Side by side, Xena demonstrated simple defense and attack postures.  At first the smaller woman's movements were hesitant, but soon grew in confidence.  After a candlemark, sweat was glistening on both bodies and Xena called a halt to the practice.  "How do you feel?"

The bard's eyes shone brighter than they had, "I like this."

"Told you your body would remember.  Now let's see if we can make up for this little diversion."

In moments they were off again, Argo flying freely down the road.  They continued until the sun slipped behind the trees.  Since Xena turned to grooming Argo, Gabrielle turned to starting a fire. 

Supper was light, cheese, berries, bread, and so was soon over.  The minute things had been cleaned up, the bard was kneeling beside Xena.

"Please, will you show me more with the staff?"

An eyebrow arched, amused.  "Ok, just for a bit.  You already had one session today and I'm sure you're still sore from that beating, so I don't want us over doing it."

Her friend beamed as she ran to get her staff.  Again they began the methodical routine of thrust, parry, sweep.  True to her promise, Xena kept it short, motioning for Gabrielle to get the healing bag and sit in front of her.  It was nice to be still, tending her friend's wounds, to rub the taught knots out of her shoulders, to smell the sweet scent of her hair.  Xena stopped.  Where had that thought come from?  Just over tired she decided. 

"There.  All done."  She reached for her sword and whetstone.

"Xena, would you like me to do the same for you?"

"That's ok, you don't have to."

"I know.  You don't ask me to do anything.  Surely this is something I can do though."  Without waiting for confirmation, Gabrielle began to unbuckle the armor, pulling it off the warrior.  Then she dug into the tense muscles kneading them like dough.  "Is this all right?"

"Oh yeah, that's great," the dark woman purred.

"Good," was all she said as she kept rubbing, letting her hands travel across the broad shoulders and then to caress the neck and finally her temples. "You've said I deserve good things.  I think you do, too.  I'm glad I can be useful to you."

'Gods.  Jax may have broken her mind, but he couldn't break that heart.  She really does deserve good things, but I'm afraid that wouldn’t include me.'  Xena roughly pulled her mind back and stopped the hands on her head.  "Thanks.  I'm fine."  Quickly she moved away, the darkness inside teasing her.  "We've had a long day.  Time to turn in."

The bard looked at the woman confused.  'Something is bothering her.  Did I do it?  Perhaps she's tired of me already.  I'm a burden to take care of.  I must learn quickly, I must do more or she may leave me.'  Quietly she slipped beneath the blanket and willed herself asleep.

Xena kept her face turned to the fire, but listened for the soft breathing of her friend.  The warrior lost track of time staring into the flames, until she heard the distraught whimperings of the woman on the other side.  She looked to see the red-blonde head tossing restlessly.  'Bad dream.'  "Gabrielle … Gabrielle, wake up."  She reached out to shake her shoulders and the bard cried out as if she'd been hit, pulling from Xena's grasp.  Dazed, she looked at the warrior as images floated through her mind and she tried to focus on the waking world. "Gabrielle, you were having a bad dream.  But you're ok  … you're safe."

She shook her head to clear it.  "Yes, a dream."  She looked at her surroundings.  "But I'm safe."

"Yes, you're safe.  Must have been a doozy of a dream.  Want to talk about it?"  Gentle blue probed emerald green which darted, looking for escape.

"No, please."

Xena could see the tension growing in the small body.  "It's ok.  Just lie back, try to forget.  I'll stand guard.  Nothing's going to happen to you."  

Gabrielle nodded in understanding and slipped back down on the bedroll as Xena pulled the blanket around her.  She surrendered herself to sleep as she heard the soft humming of the warrior beside her.

Part 2

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