ForevaXena's FanFic . . .

About My Partner

by Phantom Bard (a.k.a. J. Nakamura)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction, and is offered for non-profit entertainment. It may not be sold, may be downloaded for personal use only, and must contain this statement. The characters from the series Xena: Warrior Princess, including: Xena, Gabrielle, Ares, Eli, Eve, and the representation of the Amazons are the creations and property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No malice is intended towards these characters or concepts. I would like to express my thanks to their creators for sharing them with us. This story is my own, and if other authors feel the desire to create sequels, its ok, but, it can't be for profit.

Copyright: 9/5/2000

Violence/Sex: This story doesn't contain violence, or sex, but it does allude to loss of life. This story takes place many years after the events of the fifth season episodes, but was written before the sixth season began. I hope you enjoy this story, it's short.

Feedback can be sent to me by clicking the "Phantom Bard" link above.

We've known each other for what seems like forever, and that's because we know each other so well. She has no secrets from me, and I have none from her. It took a long time to reach this state of total trust. Over the years, the illusions we'd held about each other melted away. There were incidents on both sides that tested our love, and children were a big part of those, but in the end we came out stronger. Now I can't imagine how empty my life would be without her at my side.

Back when we first met, I only knew I wanted to be with her... she was a living symbol of all that was strong and wild in a woman. Everyone I knew objected, my sister in particular. Of course she claimed she didn't need or want my help; that she could take care of herself. Over her objections I stuck around, and eventually she accepted that I would be a part of her life. Over the years I watched her change, fighting her demons and memories, changing her life, slowly accepting the good inside herself. She would always be a warrior, (there was never any doubt that... it was her destiny, her way), but she came to use her strength to help others. Gods know I tried to change her, to help her when she was in doubt, and sometimes I wasn't too subtle. Over the years I realized that caring didn't make her weak.

I know of all the years she spent with her army, of the violence that permeated her soul. From a simple village girl who once fought to defend her town of Amphipolis, to the warlord who threatened all of Greece, I know the rage that drove her, and gave her strength. None of it frightens me, and none of it would ever make me turn away from her. We have spent so many nights by numberless campfires, talking about the past. Trying to mine memory for the lessons it can teach... trying to understand what drove us, and what happened to change us so much. Often I have tried to assuage the guilt that haunts her; guilt that I would take from her with a wave of my hand, if I only could. I love her, and it hurts me to see her suffer. Yet of guilt is born conscience, and from conscience is born righteousness. Now as we travel we try to help others in need. It has been our way through many years, and though it's different from my former life, it feels right.

I never thought I could be a warrior for the greater good. Cleaning up bad guys just wasn't my line, but I have changed too. I have come to accept my part in our mission together. The fates would appreciate the twists I've been through... I sometimes wonder how much they foresaw. They never said a word to me, but then, I never asked. I'm happy, as I thought I could never be. I changed so much about my own life to join her, and I wish it could go on forever. Yet even now I realize we are growing older.

Her raven hair, once dark as midnight, now shows some gray, and there are wrinkles at the corners of her eyes from the midday sun. So many years of life on the road have left her with stiff joints in the mornings. There's a little arthritis in her hands from punching, and from wielding her weapons for so long. Like me, she isn't as fast as she once was, but we compensate with experience, and we are still known and feared by bad guys everywhere. In years past we raised a son, Eve's younger brother... he is a good man, and a proud leader in Eli's church.

To me, she is the most beautiful woman in the known world, but I see through the eyes of love, and I know I will be forever blind to anything that contradicts my vision. I can still clearly see, in my mind's eye, how she looked in her twenties; the youthful beauty that matured into a gorgeous woman who, in her thirties, changed the world. The power, the passion... those poor words barely do her justice. When she brought down the Greek Gods she was magnificent. No one will ever be her equal. I am in love with her... I am in awe of her, and I don't think that's wrong. She is my lover, but she is also my best friend, and she is my hero. I had never known anything like this before, and I would die a thousand times before I would let her come to harm. I know she feels love for me too, and she has saved my life so many times, even when it put her in jeopardy. For her it is a natural part of her love for me, and it is the way of the warrior.

We celebrated her 52^nd birthday at the Amazon Village last week. They still look askance at me, though they don't seethe with the hatred they showed at first. There was dancing, feasting, and a bard sang some of the stories from Gabrielle's scrolls. Later I held her as she cried, at the grave of the late Amazon Queen who had once been so dear to her heart. They were so close. It was long ago, but she still feels the loss every day. It's another wound I would heal if I could, but I'm a mortal now. I have never really regretted giving up my Godhood to resurrect the late queen, and Eve. I made my choice with my heart. For once, no scheming or strategy played a part. I just couldn't let my sister kill her. I couldn't let her be destroyed by the loss of the two souls she held most dear. Afterwards when she thanked me I couldn't say a word. I was feeling true love for the first time and my heart was overflowing. I knew things had changed between us.

In the years afterward, we saw each other from time to time, and she always thanked me for what I'd done. I never tried to push her. Then one night we met by chance at an inn, and I could feel her pain. She had just lost Gabrielle in a fight, Eve was in Jerusalem, and she was alone. It was the first time she accepted any comfort from me. We sat and talked until the common room was empty, and the fire burned low. I told her how being mortal had changed me. How I could feel with my heart now, and how I let it guide me in helping people when I could. Like her, I felt the great weight of guilt for my past deeds, and I was driven to act for atonement. The killing of Eli was forever on my hands, but do you know... she forgave me. She told me I had been a pawn, playing fate's part in the changing order of the world. She told me she'd heard many stories about my good deeds, and she believed I had changed. Then she asked me if I would join her, protecting the faithful, and doing good wherever it needed to be done. I put my face in my hands, and I wept for joy. We have been together ever since. Sometimes dreams can come true.

The End

Back to FanFic Index