A Kind Of Love...

ForevaXena's FanFic . . .

A Kind Of Love...

by Nyxie

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own Xena and Gabby...just their Archetypes Layla and Shawna. Don't sue me I have a whopping $180.00 to my name!

Love/Sex: Yah there's some love, and some sex. Nothing too graphic though. But then again it is love between two women, so if you don't like that sort of thing (or you're my mom and dad) don't read it! R-Rated...must be 17 for access.

Language/Violence: No violence, and maybe one or two bad words. So fucking sorry!!

Hurt/Comfort: Yah, personally I like writing the hurt part the best...can you say make up sex??? I can!

Thanks: To Beck, my faithful Beta. To someone who's such a smart ass... I'll quote here, "You should have told them you're a necrophiliac and you're into bestiality first. Then when they started flipping out, you should have said 'Just kidding! I'm only gay!' It would have been better that way!" But she's probably right. J Uhh...any comments welcome at LittleStick2@yahoo.com

Prologue:

I see her sitting on a rock by the lake, her head in her hands. I know I made her feel the way she feels because I lacked faith in her. I basically told her she did cheat on me. She didn't and I know that, but I couldn't see past how hurt I was. I know she's alone right now and I know that's my fault. I know she's hurting; she's probably hurting more than me right now. She didn't do anything wrong. But in another respect she's a bitter pill. She's everything I wanted, but she'll never be everything I need. Simply, she's Shawna. She's my life, my soul, and my love.

How could she accuse me of cheating on her? I've never wanted anyone else! I mean I've made mistakes in the past, but not with her. Sure, I was with someone else when we met, but she knew that! I promised her I'd never hurt her like that. I know I hurt her, but not because I cheated on her, but because I'll never be everything she wants. I never broke my promise, but now we have to pick up the pieces of our broken lives. All I need is Layla, but I can't make it work alone...

ONE: LOVE IS LOST

Layla sat down on the rock by Shawna. For a moment she was silent; she finally summoned the nerve to speak. She said, "I'm sorry, Shawn...I..."

"Hey, it's only started, Layla. You don't trust me, and I doubt you ever did." Shawn spat at the woman sitting next to her.

"Dammit, Shawn, I always trusted you!" Layla yelled at her.

Shawn looked over, "You can honestly tell me that after accusing me of cheating on you? What about everything else you said, Lay?!" Her head dropped back to her hands and her body started trembling. Her long dark hair falling over her shoulders. Tears were pouring from her normally brilliant blue eyes and her tall frame was tucked into a small lump.

"I'm sorry for that to, Shawn! You've gotta know I love you by now, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you!" Layla said.

Shawna picked up her head and shook it. She asked, "You love me? There's nothing you wouldn't do for me? Layla, I have done everything for you! I have given you all I can, but that is NEVER enough for you! Why can't you just accept the fact that this boat is slowly sinking!?"

"Because I don't want it to! I want you Shawn, but I fucked up! I'm sorry I doubted you!" Layla said as she started sobbing. She continued, "I'm sick of walking on egg shells!"

"You think I'm not!? Sometimes I think I'd be better off alone!" Shawn retorted. She saw the hurt reflected in Layla's eyes. The green eyes that had captured her soul so many times. Shawn whispered, "God, I don't want it to be, but I think it's over."

"So now you're gonna tell me that we're not worth fighting for!? What about us, Shawn? What about everything we had?" Layla asked her.

"What we had was gone the second you lost faith in me. Layla I never lost faith in you, and you know I had reasons to!" Shawn yelled at her, "It's over, Layla! I don't love you anymore; I can't love you any more!"

Layla didn't believe what she was hearing. This couldn't be happening to them and it couldn't be true. Layla wiped more tears from her eyes as she said, "Do you even know what it's like to love someone the way I love you?"

"Yes..." Shawn said. She couldn't admit now she did love Layla. Not after what she'd just said. She looked over to see Layla clutching herself, and sobbing. She couldn't take that; hurting Layla was something she'd never done before, and she'd finally done it. She jumped up and ran back to their lake side house, leaving Layla to cry her heart out.

TWO: IS LOVE STRONGER?

Shawna lay on the couch with music pounding. Queen... She had been there for an hour and Layla hadn't come in. Shawn thought, "Love hurts, and kills, and damages and...Heals, and feels perfect, and is for Layla... God, what are you thinking!? She can't possibly know what she did to you, there's no time for us anymore. Our time is gone, and there's no going back!"

Layla stepped in the door and heard Shawn's music. She stepped into the room and hit the pause button on the stereo. Shawn looked at her and rolled the other way. Layla sat next to her as she leaned down. She placed a kiss on Shawn's cheek and whispered in her ear, "Touch my tears with your lips, touch my world with your finger tips, And we can have forever, And we can love forever, Forever is our today..."

Shawn had to smile. Layla had a knack for knowing what to say, or what song would fit. "Who Wants to Live Forever" was a good choice on her part. She rolled over and told her, "I don't want you to go..." She pulled Layla's face down and kissed her tears away.

"Don't leave me, Shawn. You've got my love, please don't leave me. You don't know what you mean to me, Shawn. You won't remember when everything's finished and neither will I. All I know is that when we're old, I don't want to be with anyone but you..." Layla pleaded with her.

Shawn's arms opened and Layla slipped herself into them. She lay close to Shawn as Shawn whispered, "I love every little thing about you, Layla. I was born to love you...I'm sorry"

"You couldn't cheat on me. You couldn't betray me, I'm sorry, Shawn. You've always done everything for me, and I tried to do everything I could for you...it just seemed that it was never good enough for you." Layla said. Her voice was muffled by Shawn's shoulder.

"You never failed, baby. You hurt me though, Lay. I remember you cheated on me, but I forgave you with out a second thought. I didn't do anything and you were ready to throw me out..." Shawn said.

"I know, I just reacted. You make me, Shawn. You're my heart and my love, my soul and you make me. What I am, you made me, Shawn. I'll always love you..." Layla said.

"It's late, Layla, but not too late. You know I love you, and you know I'll never leave you. I have to admit, baby, you make me wonder if I live my life right, sometimes." Shawna said.

THREE: FIRE IN ME (A KIND OF LOVE)

Shawna and Layla had decided to walk on the lake. Instead they built a fire and put down a few sleeping bags by the shore. They lay together wrapped, each in the other's warmth. Shawna rolled over on top Layla and whispered in her ear, "Let the fire take our bodies tonight, and let the waters wash away our guilt. On second in your arms Layla...it's a shooting star through my soul."

"Then kiss me..." Layla said quietly.

Shawn lowered herself so their bodies were touching; her lips met Layla's and she slowly lit the fire in Layla's heart. Her tongue brushed across Layla's as she wiped away any doubt either of them had. Shawnslowly unbuttoned Layla's shirt until she was finally able to slide it off completely. Layla pushed her up and broke their kiss, just long enough to pull Shawn's shirt over her head. After it was off their lips met again and their hands quickly worked on getting their bra's and pants and such off. Finally skin on skin, it was like time stood still. Passion, like fire, consumed them both and everything they'd felt was released. It just takes a "Kind of Magic" to make a kind of love that lasts.

EPILOGUE:

I almost lost Shawna. If I had I'd never have forgiven myself. Selfish and insensitive, that was me. We've been alright, we'll be alright because we have to be.

Because we have to be...Layla and I have to be....

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