ForevaXena's FanFic . . .

How The Stomach Turns
or
Another Day In My Life

by MomBard

Disclaimers: None. These characters are mine and mine alone. Any resemblance to my co-workers is purely coincidental. vbg!  This story or parts of this story are not to be used without my permission.

Language: English. Just a joke! One maybe two semi nasty words!

Another day has dawned and I was awake earlier than necessary. Oh, well. It was time to get my act together and drag my butt to the bathroom.

Note to self: try not to bump into that wall in the hallway.

 Hooray! I managed to make it into the bathroom without any injuries to the wall, doorframes or myself. Yes. I am klutzy. But that is another story.

I have the same routine every morning. I get up, go to the bathroom, (It is not gross! Don’t you?) Take my shower, and make my lunch. Then it is off to work, for another episode of... How the Stomach Turns.

****

I sat there, coughing and sneezing my brains out. Enduring my co-worker Rhoda, spraying Lysol in my direction because she thought it would kill the germs emanating from me.  Obviously, she had forgotten that we work in a medical facility, and that this was the flu season!

"Hello!!! Stop spraying that crap in my face, will ya?" I complained. "It’s making me cough even worse then before."

"I don’t want to get sick!" Rhoda answered, as she sprayed the damn can of Lysol in my direction.

Okay! I can either kill her or walk away. I chose to walk away.

Rhoda is five feet tall and maybe ninety-eight pounds soaking wet. She has a thick head of short brown hair. She wears her clothes well and always, always looks perfect. She is dainty, and is one of the nosiest gals working here.  If you were in the bathroom... and were flatulent, she would know it. And although I would like to kill her at this moment-- I can honestly say I like her very much.

There are two other women who work with me at the reception desk. 

Valerie. My favorite.  She is tall, about five-six, has shoulder length dark brown hair and brown twinkling eyes. She is full of mischief.  She has a figure that can knock your socks off, and a face to go with it. 

The great figure must be genetic, because I have never seen any human being eat as much as this girl can.  She packs away an Italian hero sandwich like it was a snack, and then wonders what she is going to eat for lunch!

Valerie has two jobs. Being a receptionist here, and also works as a waitress at a local diner. It’s the perfect job for her. She loves people and as I have told you before, she loves food.  Her boss at the diner is going to lose money on her. He hasn’t seen the way this girl can eat yet.

Then we come to the youngest of our little group, Shalia. She is twenty years old. She is very pretty with long brown hair and blond highlights. I think it is very becoming. She is about five-four and just a tad overweight, but she is working on it and looking good.  In the last year she has matured immensely. She is becoming a smart, charming, delightful young woman. Sometimes when she smart-mouths her co-workers, I just say... ‘Charm School’, and she gets the message.  

She has a little girl, and she is on her own with no husband to help her.

I have, over the last year, developed a lot of respect for her. She is a good mother and works hard providing for her daughter.

So now you have met the group that makes up my reception area.  I love them all, and all of them sometimes drive me crazy.  I am sure I have that same effect on them.

Now that you have met everyone--you already know me--I can continue on with my story....

It was very cold outside. Of course the heat was not working in the building, and it was freezing cold in there. I was so cold, that I had my coat and gloves on. 

Guess what is very difficult to do with gloves on?  Can’t?  I’ll tell you... "Ya can’t type on the damn computer keyboard. That’s what!"  What would take seconds was now taking much longer, and I was getting angrier by the minute. 

To top it all off... the God damn heat was blowing cold air instead of hot air.  In the summer it blows hot air.

I had a cold, my nose was running and I felt awful.

And Rhoda kept spraying! 

The last straw was a patient walking up to the desk and asking if I was cold.  That bozo thought he was being funny.  I wonder what he would think, if he had to sit here and his little buddy shriveled into nothingness like his @#$%$#@ brain! 

Work was quite an experience in anger control that day. What could go wrong did. Why was I surprised?  Like...this wasn’t the norm for this place!

Not to mention Rhoda had what she calls "Shpulkis". Don’t ask! You had to ask?  It means she can’t sit still. So she goes gallivanting all over the center and is not at her desk where she is supposed to be working and pulling her share of the load. Yes. Rhoda is hyperactive!

So there I was, with the phones ringing and patients waiting not so patiently in front of me. Looking at me like they wanted to do bodily harm to yours truly.

Val was doing the urgent visit calls, and all her lines were lit up like a Christmas tree.

Shalia was trying to find prescriptions for patients that hadn’t been written yet, because the doctors were too busy to do them. Try telling that to a patient! Rrrright.

 Finally, the "Shpulkis" were over and Rhoda sat down in her seat where she belonged. 

But I controlled my anger. All I did was disconnect her computer monitor. Come on! It was just a joke.

Lunchtime arrived in the blink of four hours. Hey! This is my story and if I want to be sarcastic, I can! 

After lunch I headed back to my desk.

An elderly ‘gentleman’ comes up to the desk...shoves an empty prescription bottle in front of me, coughs in my face and demands that I "make" the doctor write the @#$%^&* prescription now, because he isn’t @#$%^&* coming back again later.  The man’s command of the English language was incredible. 

After Mister Charm left, I sprayed the area with Lysol. 

The day went downhill from there. 

I was talking on the phone to a patient, who wasn't getting what he wanted, and as I was trying to accommodate him, I heard the patient say to whoever was next to him "This bitch is an idiot!" Meaning me! My response was so totally automatic that I said...

"This is the idiot...HANGING UP!"

Another person came in saying she had an appointment. It turned out she was not a member of our group, and in fact, didn’t have an appointment. When I told her she could be seen, and that all she had to do was go to the cashier and pay, she became indignant and started pounding on the desk in front of me. The monitor started to move, and so did I.

I called my supervisor to come and help with this nut case.  My ‘reluctant’ supervisor came over and proceeded to speak to the nut case in a very, very low voice. Seems she was told that if you talk very quietly to someone they have to stop yelling and concentrate on trying to hear what the hell you are saying. Well, much to my surprise, it worked! 

The woman stopped yelling because she had to listen carefully, so she could hear my supervisor tell her the very same things I did. 

The would-be patient turned to me and said,  "Humph! Now-- she knows what she is talking about!" She pointed towards my supervisor, and gave me a dirty look.

Then...and why should this surprise me?  A woman comes up to the desk and hands me a plastic prescription container that usually holds pills.

"I need this prescription now. I’m out of medicine," she demanded.

I look at the bottle and notice that it contains fluid of some kind. "What’s this stuff in this pill bottle?"

"It’s urine, I have to take a test. Why do you want to know?" she nastily replies.

I groan. Now I lose it... "Well, thanks a heap! You don’t put bodily fluids in a pill bottle and then hand it to a person. That is gross! Yuck. I’m a receptionist not a lab tech."

"Sooo! This is a doctor’s office. What’s the big deal? It’s closed," she said indignantly.

"Did you wash your hands after you put the urine in there?"

"No...Oh..." Comes the dawn! She had that ‘duh’ look on her face.

When I finished writing the message, I went into the bathroom and scrubbed my hands. I then sprayed the desk with Lysol.

Oh God! I’ve turned into Rhoda!

Someone, I can't imagine who -- put a suggestion in the suggestion box at work. It read...

"They should install an alarm that goes off every time a stupid person comes into the building."

The administrations reply was....  "Then no work would get done, because the damn bells would be ringing all day!"  Just a joke folks!  Remember... this is still my story!

****

Finally five o’clock and I can leave the building of horrors.  I decided to make a small detour and visit my daughter Stacey and my granddaughter Nicole before heading on home.  I always feel better after I see my Nicole. And after the day that I had she was just the right medicine.

Takes about five minutes from work to Stacey’s house. I parked the car in the driveway, and was greeted by Thoma and Sassy, Nicole’s cats.

"Hi Thoma and Sassy," I said.

Right! They could care less. All they were thinking was that Grammy human is coming up the walk and is going to let us into that nice warm house, so we can play with ‘our’ human Nicole.

Well into the house the cats and I went.

"Hi Mom," Stacey said as she kissed me on the cheek and gave me a hug.

"Hi Stacey, I missed you." I hadn’t seen her since yesterday! I give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Where’s my precious girl?" I ask.

" Watching tv. Nic! Grandma’s here," she said, just as Nicole was heading into the living room to greet me.

Nicole threw herself into my arms and gave me a great big hug and kiss.  "Grammy! I missed ya."  That’s right, she has me wrapped! Want to make something of it?

Before I had time to take my coat off Nicole continued to talk... "Grammy, ya know what?"

"What?" I said as I removed my coat.

"Mommy finally...finally bought me my first bra!" she said proudly. Nicole is eight years old, and is not developed at all.

"Nic! Why did you want a bra? You don’t need it yet." I asked.

"I’m growing up Grammy, and it was time," she said in a matter of fact voice.

Oy! Where is the baby I held in one hand? And when did she get old enough for a bra? I looked to Stacey for some guidance.

"Ma it’s just one of those tee shirt kind of bra’s. It came with matching panties also. It made her happy. Look how excited she is."

"Yeah, excited.  That’s nice."

Out Nic pranced in her new bra and panties to show me. "Grammy isn’t it great? I’m gonna sleep in it tonight," she said proudly. "Do you sleep in yours?"

 "No way, Babe. The first thing I do when I get home is to take my bra off."

Nicole turns to her mom with an I can’t believe it look... "Is she kidding, Mom?"

"No Nic.  She isn’t. She just doesn’t like to wear it. Kind of a throw back to her hippie days," my daughter giggled.

"Now go put some clothes on. Your daddy will be home soon," Stacey told Nicole and then turned her attention to me...  "Mom, stay for dinner.  I’m making that chicken dish you like so much."

"Oh I would love too, Sweetie, but I have to feed your dad and grandma.  But I’ll take a rain check, okay?" I say as I put my coat back on and got ready to head on home. "Nic!" I yell,  "I’m going now.  Come give me a kiss."

I got my kiss and another hug from my precious girl, and another kiss from my daughter. I was on my way home.  Again!

****

Home. 

Lucky me. I now had the honor of making dinner for the family. NOT!  I was just too tired to cook, so we had soup and sandwiches.

My hero will do anything I ask, except cook! Hmm. Where did I go wrong?

With dinner over I could now go play on my computer, retrieve my email, send my feedback, and talk to my daughter, Susan, and friends on line. 

I make a mental note to get an appointment with the hairdresser. Needed a haircut badly. I had been putting off getting my hair cut because my hairdresser was incapacitated and couldn’t cut hair for six weeks. I am fussy about who cuts my hair. Thing is, it is so long that I can’t do anything with it. I don’t have the hair gene that most women have.

I got ready for bed, so I could do the whole thing over again tomorrow.  As I was getting into bed I thanked the Gods for all the wonderful things in my life.

‘Huh? I‘ve just fallen asleep, and my Hero (who is also my alarm clock) is waking me up? Why is he waking me in the middle of the night?’ I think through my haze. I opened one eye...

My Hero is looking at me and giggling.

"Oh Gods, it’s morning! Argh!" I say, as I bury my head under my very cozy blanket.

 

THE END

Back to FanFic Index