There are few chances out of the darkness. A precious few breaks in the shadows that are only visible for a second in time. An escape that is not a release. Once through the break, back into the light, a fight ensues. The darkness doesn’t want to let go, but the light is so welcoming, your body, mind, and soul fight an eternal battle. Like a drug, the darkness calls to you, tempting you, reminding you of how easy it was to give up your soul for the treasures of evil and sin.

It’s after the darkness that the real test begins.

The sailboats skipped over the water, seeming to defy the gravity as they leaned and tilted toward the water. Bright colored sails filled the horizon, dotting the dark blue-green water. Ducks floated by, quacking at the people on the terrace, hoping for food from the dozens of people gathered around the tables, talking and laughing. The bright orb of the sun shone down on everything, lighting the water and the sails, as though someone was shinning a giant spotlight on Lake Mendota.

One woman sat by herself, just observing the people around her, her eyes skipping around, sometimes focusing on the various boats on the lake. In one hand she held a waffle ice cream cone, her tongue frequently snaking out and licking at the quickly melting ice cream. All around her, people were oblivious to the tumultuous thoughts that churned within her, upsetting the perfection of the day. As she watched and thought, a drop of ice cream fell slowly from the cone, landing on her thumb. She quickly brought her mouth to her thumb, licking up the fallen drop of ice cream, savoring the sweet flavor that Babcock Dairy was famous for.

Lifting her other hand, she swept back her shoulder length hair, unaware of the way the sun played with her the dark locks, creating a glowing halo. Her ice blue eyes caught sight of someone heading toward her. She looked up, focusing on the approaching figure, not recognizing the person, but reading the intention. The approaching woman gave her a quick smile.

"Hi, I was wondering, are you using all of those chairs?" The new woman gestured to the three empty chairs that were crowded around her metal table.

"No, take them," the woman replied, her eyes moving from the new woman, continuing to glance around.

"Thanks!" The woman grabbed two of the chairs and left.

"No problem," the dark haired woman said under her breath.

Time passed slowly as she finished her ice cream cone, finally eating the cone itself and then wiping her hands on a napkin. The sun slowly began to drop, the brilliant sunset illuminating the sky with colors of gold, orange, purple and red. The lake reflected the horizon, creating a myriad of colors that stretched over the entire terrace.

"Hey, Jessie," a voice spoke from behind the woman, startling her.

"Hi Terri," Jessie replied, her voice cool and low, not showing any emotion at all. Quietly she berated herself for getting so wrapped up in the view. Letting someone sneak up on her was not usual.

Terri looked at the seated woman, her eyes sparkling clearly with interest. "I didn't know that you came down here. Or is this a one time thing?" She bobbed her spiked head to encompass the Union Terrace.

"No, I come down here frequently." Jessie's reply didn't give anything away, which was her intent. She might have to work with this woman, but that wasn't a reason to reveal anything personal.

Taking the last chair at Jessie's table, Terri sat down, resting her elbows on the table and putting her chin in her hands so that she could have an unobstructed view of Jessie.

Why don't you just take a picture, it would last a helluva lot long, Jessie thought to herself, mildly uncomfortable at the looks she was receiving from the other woman.

"It's funny, I don't think I've seen you here before." Terri said, her gaze on Jessie never wavering. Oh, how she wished she could just stare at Jessie all day long. The woman was just plain gorgeous. With her dark shining black hair, and intense eyes the color of sapphires, she would never be called plain. But, add that to her perfectly balanced face, straight aquiline nose, and firm, square jaw, Jessie was beyond pretty or even beautiful. Terri had been trying to weeks to worm her way into a date with her co-worker, but hadn't had an ounce of success. Maybe tonight's my chance, she thought gleefully.

"I thought about heading over to Brothers for something to drink. Would you like to join me?" Terri's eyes sparkled hopefully. Maybe if she could get Jessie to the bar, she could then talk her into going for a walk someplace. Preferably someplace dark and deserted.

Avoiding Terri's piercing gaze, Jessie looked around the terrace. A band had begun to assemble and from the looks of the performers, the night air would soon be filled with the sounds of a rock group, more than likely some alternative variety. I could just go with her and get a drink. Nothing wrong with that. Doesn't mean I have to go home with her, right? Internally debating, Jessie's eyes settled on the now dark water. It had been awhile since she'd done anything as casual as getting a drink with someone. She deliberately avoided any socializing, not wanting or desiring anyone's company, happy in her solitude.

"Sure, why not," Jessie shrugged before standing up and stretching her long frame, ever more aware of the looks she was receiving from Terri.

Terri stood as well, a large smile on her face. "Great, let's go then."

The two women headed for the building which housed one of the student unions for the University of Wisconsin in Madison.

The heart of the UW rests near the state's capital building, separated by a long strip of stores, cafes, restaurants, bars, museums, and the Civic Center. All of these could be found on State Street, a street closed to most cars, where people could walk and shop and talk. During the warmer, and some of the colder months, students would sit outside on the benches that lined the street, talking and smoking, some getting out guitars and such for an improvised jam session on the open street. All of this area and more were known to Madisonians as "downtown". The area rested between two large lakes - Lake Mendota and Lake Menona.

The Memorial Union rested on the shores of Lake Mendota. Originally the building had been a war memorial for those who fought and died in World War I. It was now the center of recreational, social, and cultural activities on campus. Add to that the terrace and you had an area bustling with students, faculty, and the general public.

And it was the place Jessie went when she wanted to be the most alone, hiding among the crowd, finding solitude in being alone with all the people around. The most lonely place n the world was a crowd of strangers.

Brothers was unusually crowded for a Friday night. Boisterous voices were almost drowned out by the music, which made it less than ideal for pleasant conversation. This was fine with Jessie, conversation wasn't something she really wanted.

As she followed Terri to a seat, she chastised herself. Why am I here? She didn't particularly like Terri, so why had she agreed? She's not even my type, she thought while slipping into a booth Terri had picked. If I even have a type anymore.

"I'll get the first round, what'll it be?" Terri raised her voice to be heard above the steady stream of noise.

"Ah, Sam Adams," Jessie replied, trying to remember what Brothers normally had on tap.

"Be right back," Terri winked at her as she swiveled around, making her way to the bar.

Pulling out a pack of Marlboro Lights, Jessie searched her pockets for a lighter.

"Here." An arm extended toward her, a lit lighter in a beefy hand. Jessie put the end of her cigarette into the flame, inhaling, then pulled away.

"Thanks," she murmured, glancing at the man who'd made the gesture. He was very large, with broad shoulders, and a thick, short neck. His round face was reddened probably a combination of beer and the heat of the bar which was a result of the number of people present.

"No problem," he said, giving her a large smile before lumbering back to a group of similarly built friends. They snickered as he rejoined them, all of the glancing back at Jessie as they did.

"Gotta love straight bars," Jessie said under her breath, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Instead, she gave the group a sexy smile.

"Only gone a few minutes and you've already been picked up, huh?" Terri said as she put down two beers, the frothy liquid sloshing a bit at the impact. She slid into the other bench of the booth, giving Jessie a smile.

"Just innocent boys looking for fun." Jessie took a sip of the bitter liquid, savoring it as it slid down her throat. "Thanks," she said, gesturing to the cup Terri had brought her.

"Maybe we should have gone somewhere else." Terri eyed the group of men as they got louder and downing more beer. "I just wasn't sure…" She deliberately let the sentence drop as she tried to feel out Jessie.

"Yes, I'm gay." Jessie said simply, understanding completely what the other woman was getting at.

"You never can tell these days." Taking a drink of her beer, Terri looked at Jessie critically. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Right to the point, huh Terri. Jessie hid her grin as Terri displayed a typical lesbian feeler. If they were single, they were fair game. "No, I don't have a girlfriend."

Terri's face definitely lifted at this bit of news, the corners of her mouth turning up as she gave Jessie a come hither look. "Have you always lived in Madison?"

Inwardly Jessie sighed. Here it came, the time to ask each other questions, and getting to know each other as much as they could in one night. "No. I grew up here, but left. Now I'm back." She carefully gave the information without committing to anything. It had only been six months since she left Chicago, since she'd run from her life. And every night since she left, the face of a young girl haunted her dreams.

"Why'd you come back." Continuing to probe, Terri wasn't going to give up. She wanted Jessie with every fiber of her body, knowing that it would be a sexual experience to write down in her journal.

Thinking about how to answer that question, Jessie felt a hand on her knee as Terri reached under the table to make contact with her. It had been so long for Jessie. So long since she'd let herself have that casual sexual encounter, that the contact immediately warmed her. "My mother lives here." She answered simply while trying not to focus on the thoughts of Terri's body, completely naked under her own. Maybe I can do this. Maybe I can just let go for tonight and let my body take over.

"So, do you live with your mother?" Terri quickly stood up and moved over to Jessie's side of the table, sitting down on the same booth. Her hand resumed its exploring, finding its way up Jessie's thigh, moving inward till it was at the crotch of Jessie's jeans.

I can't do this, Jessie thought sadly. She no longer wanted the one night stands, or quick loves. She was tired of playing that game, tired of the roller coaster ride. No, she'd rather be alone. "Maybe this wasn't a good idea…" She started to say, but then Terri's hand was there, pressing against her crotch, warming Jessie from the inside out.

"Oh come on," Terri said softly, in a low voice that Jessie supposed she thought was sexy. "Can't hurt anything. Two, single women. Come on back to my place." Her hand started moving, rubbing against the rough fabric of Jessie's jeans.

Actually contemplating this, Jessie became aware of another sound near them. It was a woman's voice. "I said, NO! Just leave me alone!" The woman was saying adamantly, her voice becoming more intense each time.

Both Terri and Jessie looked over their shoulders. The group that Jessie had dealt with earlier was cornering a young woman. They were leering at the woman as they closed in on her. One man grabbed a bit of the woman's reddish blonde hair and gave it a tug. The woman bit his large hand and then stomped on his foot.

"You little…" His had was raised and as he swung it around to make contact with the woman's face, it was stopped mid air.

"I don't recommend that, my friend." Jessie growled at him as she held his hand in a firm grip. The man turned his anger to her, coming up with his other hand. She quickly caught the other one as well and using the limbs as a pivot point, whirled him around and pinned on of his arms behind his back.

He cried out as his arm was twisted painfully. "Come on guys, help me here!" He pleaded with his friends who were backing off.

"No man, I don't hit women. You're on your own," the man who'd lit Jessie's cigarette said, the others nodding their heads in agreement. "I'm sorry, we were just having fun. We didn't know he'd try something like that," he told Jessie.

Pushing against her hold on the large man, Jessie shoved him toward his friends. "Get him outta here before he gets me mad." They grabbed the man and dragged him out of the bar.

Taking deep breaths, Jessie tried control her anger as it boiled very close to the surface. "Goddamn pig," she muttered heatedly.

She felt a hand on her arm and the anger seemed to disappear immediately. Jessie turned and saw the blonde looking up at her with expansive green eyes. "Thank you," the woman said, a small, gentle smile forming on her face.

Jessie could only stare into the green eyes, finding herself falling deeply into them without her realizing it. The woman left her hand on her arm, her fingers gently moving on Jessie's skin.

"Jessie!" Terri yelled from behind her, trying to get the woman's attention.

This snapped Jessie out of her reverie. "Ah, you're welcome," she said, looking down at the smaller woman. "Are you okay?" She ignored the sound of Terri's approach, only noticing the woman before her.

"Yeah." The woman's face scrunched up in distaste as she looked in the direction the men had gone in. "My name's Rowan," she said, sticking her hand out to shake Jessie's.

"I'm Jessie." She met Rowan's hand with her own, her larger hand covering Rowan's smaller one.

A wonderfully sweet smile was her reward as Rowan starred back at her. The air around them was filled with electricity as they just stood there.

"Hey, you done over here or what?" Terri said impatiently as she approached the two women.

"Sorry, didn't mean to take you away from your…friend." Rowan said politely as she removed her hand and arm. Her arms immediately went around herself as she realized what had happened. If Jessie hadn't come when she had, Rowan could only imagine what her fate would have been. She gave an involuntary shiver at the thought.

Seeing the small shiver, Jessie's first instinct was to take the woman in her arms and shield her. Where the hell'd that come from??? She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Um, yeah." Rowan nibbled on her lower lip, her eyes narrowing. "I think I'll just head home."

"Where do you live?"

"Over on East Dayton," Rowan said, thinking about the walk home and shivering again.

"I'll walk you home, okay?" Jessie asked, not wanting to make the woman uncomfortable and not wanting to let her walk home alone. Those guys could still be out there, and Jessie didn't want to take the chance that Rowan would run into them again.

Rowan looked into Jessie's face, seeing the concern there. Why would she want to do that? Rowan thought to herself, studying the woman's beautiful face which was framed by dark hair, providing the perfect background for the pair of brilliant blue eyes which were in turn studying her. "That would be…great," she finished, really grateful that this woman would help her that way.

They both turned toward the door, only to be confronted by a very angry Terri. "What the hell is going on here Jessie? You're just going to leave here, with her?" Sneering at Rowan, Terri leaned forward till her face was right in front of Jessie's.

A low growl came from the back of Jessie's throat at this invasion of personal space. "Get. Out. Of. My. Way." She said slowly, in a menacing tone, biting off each word.

"Hey, look, I didn't mean to cause anyone any problems here." Rowan put her hands up in defense and started to leave.

Jessie gently grabbed hold of her arm, stopping her. Rowan turned, prepared to fight the bigger woman, but instead was caught in the warm eyes looking at her. "Please, I'd like to see you home," Jessie said gently, without any of the menace that had previously been in her voice.

Unable to do anything but look into those incredible eyes, Rowan merely nodded. Turning back to the third woman, Jessie's eyes grew cold. "I am leaving now," she spoke deliberately to Terri. "I don't owe you any explanations." She leaned over to the table they had occupied, grabbed her beer, and downed it quickly. Slamming the cup back down on the table, she looked at Terri while using her tongue to catch the drops of beer on her lips. "Thank you for the beer, now I'm going." Her hand curled around Rowan's small hand and with long strides she led the blonde out of the bar.

"Frigid bitch," Terri yelled as they walked out of the door.

Anger filled Jessie as they left. Taking a deep breath of the humid air, she slowly let it out as she walked. There was no way she'd let someone like Terri have any place in her emotions. She wasn't about to waste time on the woman.

"Jessie?" A timid voice came from behind the tall woman. Stopping, Jessie turned, realizing she still held Rowan's hand in her own. She dropped the woman's hand quickly. Rowan could feel the tension from the stranger, fear growing in her. Indescribably, she trusted this woman, but she didn't want any more confrontations tonight.

"Sorry about that," Jessie muttered, stuffing her hands in her jeans pocket. Looking at the smaller woman, she saw that Rowan was avoiding her gaze. Damn, probably scared the shit out of the kid, she realized suddenly.

"I didn't mean to cause you any problems." Troubled green eyes lifted to meet blue.

Giving the other woman a small smile, Jessie shook her head. "Don't worry. I should thank you for getting me away from her."

"Is she your…girlfriend?" Rowan asked shyly as they began to walk again down the street. To her surprise a gentle laughter came from the other woman at the question.

"Ah, no."

Rowan blushed as she realized that she might have been wrong about her initial observation. "Sorry, I just thought…"

Jessie waved a hand at her, dismissing her concern. "Nah, you were right about that. I'm sure she'd like to be my girlfriend, at least for a night." Jessie snorted softly.

"Not your type?" Rowan said, smiling up at her tall companion.

"Something like that," was the vague reply.

Silence fell between the two women. The night wasn't very old yet and the streets were filled with people milling about outside of bars and clubs, talking and laughing. The streetlights threw illuminating beams over some of the groups, making the others seem as though they were in deep shadows.

Rowan mentally shook her head. She couldn't believe how this night had ended up. First a friend of hers had stood her up, leaving her alone in a bar where she didn't know anyone. Then that guy had tried to pick her up, not taking her no for an answer. Then this woman stepped in. Quickly looking up at Jessie, Rowan felt her breath quicken slightly. Even from where she stood she could smell the perfume the woman wore, combined with the scent of clean clothes. A nice combination, she decided instantly.

Jessie didn't mind the silence, but she found herself trying to formulate questions to introduce new topics of conversation. She looked over at the smaller woman, catching glimpses of her face in the streetlights they passed. Rowan looked fairly young, probably early twenties. "Are you a student here?" She finally asked, amazed at herself.

Looking up startled at the voice, Rowan smiled to cover her embarrassment. "Not anymore. I'm an Assistant Professor in the English Department." Don't talk too much, Rowan, she told herself, very aware of her habit of talking more than necessary.

"Oh," Jessie looked up at the moon, noticing the first time the half orb that was glowing in the sky. Desperately, her mind tried to think of more questions to ask without seeming obvious.

"Uh, what about you?"

"Me? No, not a student."

"Oh."

The silence between them grew again as they both continued to walk, each deep in their own thoughts.

"Did you know that guy?" Jessie asked suddenly.

"At Brothers? No, I didn't. Apparently he wanted to get to know me, though." Rowan laughed lightly. "Not my type," she said, laughing louder now. Jessie joined in and soon they both had to stop to catch their breath.

Both women turned their heads toward each other at the same time, eyes catching, their laughter ending. Rowan had a sudden urge to wrap her arms around the other woman, but kept her arms at her side. Where did that come from? She frowned to herself.

"What's wrong?" Jessie asked softly, not taking her eyes from Rowan's, noticing the frown on the woman's face. Even the frown couldn't mar the younger woman's beauty.

"This is going to sound strange…but, do I know you from somewhere?" Talking fast in order to get it out, Rowan's eyebrows came together as she gazed up at Jessie. She felt a gnawing inside trying to convince her that she indeed knew this woman from somewhere. No, she would have remembered someone like Jessie, no doubt. So, why this strange feeling?

Raising a hand, Jessie found herself almost cupping the smaller woman's cheek in her hand. What was going on here? "I…I don't think so."

Shaking her head, Rowan smiled. "Oh well, I just feel like I know you from somewhere. Maybe it's the beer talking, I don't know." She started to walk again, wanting to get back to her comfortable home where she'd feel secure. That had to be why she was suddenly feeling strange. She was almost attacked, and this woman had rescued her. It was some kind of hero worship, or something.

Quickly following the other woman, Jessie wasn't going to let her out of her sight until she knew she was safe at home.

"Hey girls, wanna have some fun?" A high-pitched male voice came to them from the shadows of one of the doorways they passed. Jessie quickly looked and saw a young man sitting on the stoop, holding a joint in one hand and a beer in another. He winked at her as she looked, a hand beckoning her to join him.

"No thank you," Jessie answered, her hand going to Rowan's elbow, steering them both away from the doorway.

"Aw, come on. I'll share!" The man yelled after them, coming out of his doorway. Seeing that they weren't going to stop, he shrugged. "Your loss," he muttered before taking a hit off the joint.

"Is tonight the night for freaks?" Rowan mumbled, looking up at the moon. "It's not even a full moon or anything."

"No, it's worse than that."

"What? Did I miss some great big announcement that said it was freak night?"

"No, school starts on Monday. Everyone's having one last huge party before they start to study." Jessie grinned at Rowan, finally releasing the other woman's elbow.

Rowan's skin tingled from where Jessie had touched her, a warmth spreading from that one gesture. "I almost forgot."

"You? The professor? Almost forgot that classes were starting?" Jessie said incredulously. "I would think you'd have it inked on your brain."

Giving a small laugh, Rowan grinned up at Jessie. "Nah, I tend to put things like that out of my brain. Less to worry about if you forget it's coming!" She took a few more steps and then stopped.

"What's wrong?" Jessie asked, concerned by the look on Rowan's face.

Rowan groan softly. "Shit, classes start on Monday!" Seriously dismayed at the thought, Rowan was startled from her bout of misery by a deep, belly laugh. She turned and saw Jessie literally guffawing. "You think this is funny?" Putting her hands on her hips she watched as Jessie merely laughed harder. Rowan looked up at the half moon, her hands in the air. "She thinks this is funny?"

Breathing deeply, Jessie tried to catch her breath. "Oooo…sorry there."

Raising an eyebrow, Rowan just looked at the breathless woman. "How is that funny?"

"It wasn't what you said, it was…" Jessie hesitated. What had been so funny? What had made her laugh like that? Her belly ached pleasantly, a reminder of the force of the laugh. It wasn't what Rowan had said, or even how she said it. It had been the adorable look on her face that had caused Jessie to break up. "It was…ah, nothing, just a thought that went through my mind." She answered, trying to dismiss the thought that caught her off guard.

Stepping closer, Rowan peered into the other woman's face. "No, seriously, what was it?" She was curious. Everything about this woman intrigued her. She seemed so…unflappable. The laugh had been so genuine, so unexpected, and completely wonderful to hear.

Uncomfortably aware of Rowan's face turned up to her, she caught herself wondering what it would be like to quickly press her lips to hers, feeling the softness that she was sure she'd find there. In the light of the street lamp, Jessie saw Rowan's slightly upturned nose, her clear skin that was flushed slightly, and her deep green eyes which were perfectly framed by her eyebrows. It would be so easy to lean down and kiss her…

"Jessie?" Rowan asked softly, moving in a bit closer.

"Uh, what?" Her mind was completely blank. She turned quickly away, focusing her eyes somewhere else, needing to break the invisible spell which was drawing her closer to Rowan.

"Why were you laughing?"

"The look…on your face. It was…" Jessie felt her face grow warm as she blushed slightly, "…cute." She finished, realizing that cute didn't even come close to describing what she had seen. Or what I felt, she realized. That was impossible. She wasn't looking to feel anything.

A definite reddish color grew over Rowan's face. "Oh," she grinned to herself. Cute, huh? I can handle that.

They stood there, looking at each other, both blushing and both unsure of what to say next. Finally, Jessie cleared her throat. "So, East Dayton Street, right?"

"Right," Rowan confirmed and they both started walking.

Finally, they reached a three-story house with a porch on front. The outside of the house was yellow with dark trim, very typical of the area. Most of the homes were converted into apartments for students, but this one had a nicer look, that of a real home. A wooden swing hung on one end of the porch, and comfortable patio furniture lined the rest.

"Do you live here alone?" Jessie asked, realizing that it might not be the best line of questioning. "Or, are you a renter?"

"No, I own it. I used to rent out one of the bedrooms, but didn't like dealing with people coming and going all hours of the night." Answering easily, Rowan pulled out her keys and walked up the stairs in front. As she reached the door she noticed that Jessie had stayed back on the sidewalk. "Do you want to come in? For some coffee or something?" She wasn't ready to let this woman out of her sight just yet. Something inside of her wanted to get to know Jessie.

Looking at her watch, Jessie noticed that it was only 10 pm. The night was still fairly early. It was either go in with Rowan or go home and be alone. "Sure," she shrugged, slowly walking up the stairs.

"Great!" Rowan gave her a smile before turning around and unlocking the front door. She opened the door and gestured for Jessie to enter. After the taller woman had cleared the door, Rowan shut it behind her, flipping a switch by the door.

The room now illuminated with light, Jessie looked around curiously. They were obviously in the living room. It had a comfortable, lived in look, but she saw that everything was clean and orderly. Most of the room was in blues, a large couch taking up one entire wall and a small TV in one corner. Pictures of various people covered the walls as well as a few colorful prints. A recliner sat in another corner, and sitting in the recliner was a large cat. The cat rose with a plaintive cry, giving its owner a look of desperation.

"Tigg, you're not dying." Rowan admonished to the cat. The cat gave a small murmur of disagreement, standing and stretching its long body. It was a gray and white-stripped cat; its markings making it look like a small minx. Intelligent gray eyes looked up at Jessie expectantly. "Oh. Jessie, this is Tigger. Tigger, this is my new friend Jessie." The cat seemed to nod his head in acknowledgement.

Jessie, used to the quirks of cats, smiled. "Hello Tigger," she returned the greeting. Seeming to be content with that, the cat looked back at its owner, crying out again for attention.

"As you can see, he's spoiled." Rowan explained. "What would you prefer? Coffee, tea, beer? A soda?" She headed toward a doorway, talking over her shoulder to Jessie.

"Um, whatever you're going to have is fine," Jessie replied, staying where she was.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back." Rowan disappeared through the doorway, leaving the cat and stranger in the living room.

Knowing that moving the cat would be a bad idea, Jessie settled on the couch. How the hell did I get here again? She asked herself now that she was alone. This was no something she'd normally do. So what had possessed her to come here? As she thought, Rowan came back through the doorway, carrying two steaming mugs. Seeing the soft smile on the other woman's face, Jessie suddenly realized that she knew the answer to her questions. She was there because of Rowan. Simple as that.

"Here," Rowan handed Jessie one of the mugs before sitting next to her on the couch. "Hot chocolate," she explained to the other woman who was looking at the mug curiously.

"Ah," was all Jessie said before taking a sip. Not much of a chocolate fan, she was surprised at how perfect the drink seemed. Taking another sip, she savored the sweet flavor and the warmth in her mouth.

"So, do you always go around helping women in bars?" Rowan had no idea what to talk about. Their conversation on the way to her house was strained. And now here they were sitting in her living room, warranting more conversation.

Ducking her head, Jessie grinned. "No, not something I usually do."

"Am I your first damsel in distress than?"

"I guess you could say that."

"Do you live in Madison?" Rowan continued to try to draw the older woman into conversation.

"Yes." She knew that she needed to be more complete with her answers, so she volunteered some information. "I live above my mother's store on State Street."

"Which store?"

"Shakespeare's Closet."

"Oh! You're mother's Anne?"

Blinking in surprise, Jessie starred at Rowan. "Yeah. How'd you know that?"

Laughing at Jessie's puzzlement, the blonde was more than happy to explain. "I'm just one of your mother's regular customers. Best bookstore downtown, if you ask me. Do you work there? I don't think I've seen you there before." She didn't add the fact that she would have remembered the tall, dark haired woman.

"I help out there sometimes, but I don't officially work there. I work at the P-Plus office down here." P-Plus was Physician's Plus, one of the health organizations which filled Madison and the surrounding area.

"Are you a doctor?"

It was Jessie's turn to laugh lightly. "No, unfortunately not." She shook her head. "I work in the Human Resources Department."

They continued to make conversation, each of them taking turns asking questions and answering them. They're mugs lay discarded on the coffee table in front of the couch, time forgotten. Finally, Jessie took a glance at her watch. It read 2:08 am.

"Oh shit," Jessie said, standing up. "I'd better get going."

Rowan grabbed Jessie's wrist and looked at the watch herself. "Holy shit!" She echoed, not understanding how that much time had passed. Getting up as well, Rowan looked up at Jessie. "Uh, thanks again. I really appreciate all that you did tonight."

Giving the other woman a self-depreciating smile, Jessie looked back. "You're welcome." They stood there for a minute, neither one looking away. "Well, I guess I'd better go."

Nodding, Rowan walked with her toward the door. "Be careful, okay?"

"I will."

Watching as Jessie opened the door and started to leave, Rowan grabbed for the last ounce of her confidence. She put a hand on Jessie's shoulder. Turning around, Jessie was shocked when she felt a warm pair of lips brush against her own. "Bye," Rowan said her voice husky.

"Bye." Jessie smiled to herself as she closed the door behind her. She was right. Rowan's lips were soft.

It was the same dream as always. Jessie dream eyes watched herself. She was dressed in a black pant suit, which hung on her body in a familiar way, tight against the curves of her body, but loose enough for her to move with ease. With her were three men, all of which watched her with reverent admiration as she held a gun to the temple of a fourth man who was tied to a chair. They were in an empty room, dark except for an overhead light which wasn't strong enough to light the corners. Those darkened corners held more mystery than the scene itself, full of demons and sorrow ridden ghosts.

Even as she watched the scene, like a mysterious omniscient entity, she tried to warn her dream self. "Don't do it!" She tried to yell, but the woman in the suit didn't listen. The gun never wavered from the man's head, the long, strong hand holding it steadily.

"You know what your punishment should be," her dream self purred to the man tied to the chair. The woman smiled, not a pleasant smile, which seemed to evoke fear in everyone.

The man's eyes bulged out at her voice, his hands fought against the binds which held him tightly. "I didn't do it JB, I swear! It was Nick, I promise you!" The man's whimpering didn't seem to have any affect on the stoic woman.

"Don't worry about Nick. He's already been taken care of. Of course, when it was his time he ratted on you, saying that it was your fault the route was disrupted." As Jessie watched herself, the memories of the anger welled through her. She had been betrayed by this man, he had let something slip to an undercover cop about one of their more profitable drug routes. In the end, Jessie had had to appease many important clients on the east coast, sacrificing her own reputation to make them happy.

As she remembered the anger, her conscious seemed to coalesce with her dream self, so that now they were one. She was standing in front of the man. She could see his fear in his eyes, smell the pungent odor of his fear induced sweat. The handle of the gun weighed in her hand, the cool metal a reality check.

"Nick's been taken care of," she repeated before continuing. "All that's left now is taking care of loose ends." She moved the muzzle of the gun down the man's face in an almost caressing manner. "That would be you."

What occurred after that point happened so quickly that Jessie wasn't sure how it had happened. Something scampered out one of the dark corners. One of her men, out of fright, pulled his gun and shot three times into the corner. After the noise of the bullets being forced from the barrel had receded, all eyes turned to see a small form lying on the ground, a pool of dark blood growing around it.

"What the hell did you do!" She yelled as she moved away from the man in the chair. She rushed to the prone form and turned it over. It was a small girl. Her eyes were open in death, starring up at Jessie.

Turning to the man that had pulled the gun, Jessie swiftly was in front of him. Thoughts having escaped her, she was quick to shoot him, not even watching as his body fell heavily to the ground. "Goddamn fucking asshole," she yelled into the air, her scream reverberated off the dank walls of the room, echoing back at her.

Rushing back to the body of the girl, Jessie fell to the floor and took the girl's head in her hands. The face of the girl had changed. She shrank back in horror as it was now Rowan's face looking back at her. Rowan's green eyes had grown glassy in death and were now looking at her in such sorrow that Jessie could feel her heart break in two.

Tears streaming down her face, she leaned down and put her lips to Rowan's before lifting her own gun. Placing the muzzle against her temple, she starred at Rowan's face as she pulled the trigger.

"Hi Rowan!" A pleasant voice welcomed Rowan into the bookstore. The voice came from behind a tall bookshelf. Peeking behind, Rowan found the bookstore owner sitting on the wood floor re-arranging the shelves, a stack of books on the floor next to her.

"Hey Anne," Rowan greeted her warmly. She looked around at the nearly empty shop. "I'm surprised there aren't more people here," she commented.

"Ah," Anne waved a hand at her. "It's a lull. They come in waves." She stood up, stretching her petite body.

Now knowing that Anne was Jessie's mother, Rowan had to wonder where the dark haired woman got her height from. Anne stood about five feet, three inches, her hair a rich blonde with gray strands interwoven. But, looking into the older woman's face, Rowan realized that she saw Jessie's brilliant blue eyes starring back at her, a little faded with age, but the same.

"How have you been, Rowan?" Anne asked, ignoring the fact that the other woman was starring into her face intently.

"Pretty good. Busy with classes and students." She wasn't sure whether or not she should mention the fact that she had met Jessie. Oh what the hell, she thought. Truthfully, she had come to Shakespeare's closet in hopes of seeing the woman. "I met your daughter a few weeks ago" She laughed lightly seeing the surprise on Anne's face. "Actually, she came to my rescue."

"You met Jessie?" Anne seemed quite surprised about that.

"Yeah. She helped me out when some over exuberant college boys decided they wanted to have fun with me."

"I think they wanted more than that," a deep voice came from back. Both women turned around in surprise as Jessie came from the back room. Eyes twinkling, she winked at Rowan. "Nice to see you again."

Blushing slightly, Rowan nodded back in her direction. "You too."

The tall woman studied Rowan for a minute, a small smile forming on her face. It had only been two weeks since their first meeting, but Jessie found herself thinking about the blonde a lot. It was strange and disconcerting, but she had wanted to see her again without being too obvious.

"Are you playing hero again, Jess?" Anne grinned at her daughter.

"I wouldn't exactly say that mom." Not looking at Rowan, she put her hands in her jeans pocket, just standing there. "Just in the right place at the right time."

"Whatever it was, I will be forever grateful." Her voice soft, Rowan looked up at Jessie. Their eyes met as they had many times that fateful night, and Rowan felt herself instantly drawn into the woman's eyes.

Standing back, Anne smiled to herself. There was obvious chemistry between the two women, she could feel it from where she was standing. Rowan had been coming to her bookstore since her freshman year at the UW, and over the years Anne had grown very fond of her. Sometimes Rowan would come in and they would sit over coffee and talk about books and classes, and life in general.

One night, Rowan had come into the bookstore, her depression showing in her face. When Anne probed, Rowan told her that it was the third anniversary of her parents' death. That night Anne held the young woman in her arms, letting her cry in her pain, reminding Anne of her own daughter whom she hadn't seen in years.

Now here they both were, standing in front of her. To Anne it felt like a reunion of sorts. "So, Jess, what brings you here?" Anne turned to her daughter. "I don't have any new lesbian fiction in, so what could bring you here?"

"Can't a girl just come and see her mother?"

"Sure she can. Just curious that's all." She grinned up at her daughter.

Rowan watched the exchange with interest. She had always noticed how a lot of people acted much different with their parents than they did with their friends. Not Jessie. Very interesting, Rowan thought to herself, putting the memory away for a later time.

Anne turned her grin to Rowan. "And the book you ordered is in, Rowan." Turning toward the counter, Anne walked behind and reached for something underneath. Pulling out a hard cover book with a rubber band holding a piece of paper in place, Anne waved it in the air for Rowan to see.

"Great, I was really hoping it would be," Rowan walked over, pulling her knapsack off her shoulder. She hardly ever went anywhere without her knapsack. It contained everything that she thought would be essential in any situation. Digging around for a minute, she finally pulled out her wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

"Mmmm…" Anne flipped open the book, looking for the price on the jacket. "Never can find the prices. We'll say fifteen dollars."

Taking the book from Anne's hands, Rowan looked for herself, very clearly seeing the price listed. "More like $24.95?" Anne looked sheepishly at the woman across the counter. "Anne, I'm a paying customer just like everyone else."

Jessie had sauntered over to the counter by this time. She looked over Rowan's shoulder and saw the price herself. "Mom, she's got you there."

Looking very indignant, Anne put her hands on her hips. "Whose bookstore is this anyway? If I want to charge $15, then I'll charge $15!" She narrowed her eyes at the two women in front of her. "Do either of you have a problem with that?"

Rowan backed up a bit, pretending to be daunted by the look. "Geeze Jess, did you get that look a lot growing up?" She stage whispered to the woman behind her. Jessie hadn't backed up when Rowan had, causing Rowan's body to brush up against her.

Leaning down, Jessie put her mouth near Rowan's ear. "Yeah, if you think that's bad, you should see her when she's really angry," she whispered back.

Turning her head slightly so that she was looking at Jessie, Rowan's eyes got large. "You mean she gets even worse?"

Her eyes looking directly into Rowan's, Jessie nodded her head slightly. "Her face gets red and her voice gets really, really loud."

"Really?" Rowan had almost forgotten what they were talking about as she looked at Jessie. In fact, she'd forgotten all about Anne's presence until the older woman spoke up for herself.

"Very funny you two. Ha ha," the sarcasm heavy in her voice, Anne rang up the purchase on her register. "Fifteen dollars and ninety cents is your total."

Pulling out a twenty, Rowan handed it to her. "Keep the change. You deserve a tip for that performance!" She grinned at Anne, who knew she was beaten.

Jessie took a glance at the book that Rowan had purchased, surprised that she was familiar with the author. "J.D. Redmann, huh?" She remarked, as she picked up the book which was most definitely a lesbian novel. Granted, it was a mainstream publisher, but still, she hadn't picked up on any gaydar vibes when she was with Rowan.

"Yeah, I love Micky. She's so human, she's lovable." Rowan said enthusiastically, grateful to have something to discuss with the other woman.

"I don't think I've read this one yet," Jessie looked at her mom, her eyes narrowing. "You didn't tell me she had a new book out."

"Hey Jess?" Anne said.

"Yeah mom?"

"J.D. Redmann has a new book out."

Shaking her head, Jessie rolled her eyes. "Thanks mom, thanks so much."

"Always trying to be helpful," Anne replied cheerfully.

Turning to Rowan, Jessie ignored her mother's jokes. "Do you think Cordelia and Micky will still be together?" She referred to the book, Lost Daughters, which she still held in her hand.

"I hope so! I love them as a couple, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do." Jessie said quietly, thinking of her own love life or lack thereof. It was her choice to be single, to not be attached to anyone, and she was always happy with that. Why was she questioning it now?

Anne moved off to help another customer who had come through the door, leaving the two women alone.

"I don't suppose that she'll be able to have coffee with me today," Rowan remarked watching as Anne conversed with the customer.

Jessie felt that this was an opening for something. "I'm not the conversationalist that mom is, but if you want, we could go get coffee." She shrugged as though it was no big deal, when in fact her heart was pounding in her chest. When Rowan turned to her with a large smile on her face, Jessie didn't even hear her answer, instead she saw the delight in Rowan's eyes.

Saying goodbye to Anne, they headed out the door.

What Jessie hadn't counted on was that Terri would be having coffee at the same time. She'd run into the other woman at work a few times, both of them polite on the surface, but Jessie had sensed some kind of anger underneath it all. Why Terri was angry, she didn't know. It was like Jessie had given her indications that she was receptive to her advances. In fact, she'd done everything she could to discourage the woman. Yet Terri some how seemed to feel that Jessie had done something to slight her.

"Well, if it isn't my two favorite women," Terri's voice came sarcastically from across the crowded café. Both Jessie and Rowan turned from their cups to look at the woman. Terri's eyes were focused on them, blazing with something that indicated an unfriendly emotion. Ignoring the people around them, Terri moved in closer, circling the table the two women were at like she was stalking her prey. "And here I thought you two weren't aquatinted.

This was more than Jessie could handle. Her anger rose to match Terri's, a low rumble began in her chest. This woman would regret interrupting her time with Rowan. She swept her eyes over Terri's body then focused on her face. "It's absolutely none of your business." She said coolly.

Rowan watched it all, fear creeping up in her throat. She vaguely remembered the woman from Brother's, the way she had possessively tried to claim Jessie that night, only to be blown off by the tall woman. Looking at Jessie, she saw the blue eyes that had haunted her dreams turn a steely color, become cold. It was like she was looking at a complete stranger.

Focusing her anger at Rowan, Terri looked her up and down with, her eyes filled with hunger. "If I had known that this little one was of our persuasion, I would have taken her home that night." She brought her hand up and roughly brushed her knuckles against Rowan's cheek.

Rowan didn't even see Jessie move, but in the next instant, Jessie was standing, her hand holding Terri's wrist in a painful grip. "Why don't you leave?" She snarled in a low timbre.

Barking out a harsh laugh, Terri turned to Jessie, moving closer until her body was against the lean body she wanted so much. "Why don't you come with me?" She rubbed her body against Jessie's seductively.

"She's here with me," a quiet voice made the two women turn. Rowan was standing now, her body tensed for a confrontation.

Again, Terri turned to the smaller woman, her mouth quirked in a rakish grin. "You don't have any idea what you're doing, little girl. You're not woman enough to handle this one," she jerked her head in Jessie's direction. "So why don't you leave this to us?" She moved in close to Rowan. "Unless you want to join us, that is."

The anger that had been growing in Jessie suddenly boiled over. She felt it overwhelm her body, marring all control she had once possessed. Grabbing Terri's arm, she turned the woman around by force. Moving until she was nose to nose with the woman, Jessie looked down at her. "Leave. Her. Alone." A horrific rumbling sound came from her, making the room hum with her anger. "Or I'll throw you out of here myself."

Sensing that Jessie was serious Terri backed off. "You'll come to me when you realize that this little girl can't give you what you want. Then I'll make you pay for keeping me waiting." Turning on her heel, Terri stormed out of the coffeehouse.

Two sets of eyes watched her leave.

Breathing deeply, trying desperately to control her anger, Jessie closed her eyes and sat down heavily in her chair. She tried to force her body to relax, but found that she wanted to hit something in her anger, an outlet for the emotion that was controlling her.

Then, someone touched her. A warm hand was placed on her arm and her anger slowly dissipated. Reason and control began to come back to her and the red that she saw behind her eyes grew darker until it was black. Finally she opened her eyes and saw Rowan looking at her.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, feeling ashamed at her display of anger. She knew better. By showing her anger to Terri, she had given the other woman control.

Not knowing what to say, Rowan merely moved her hand against Jessie's arm. Too many emotions were filling her, leaving her completely confused. The anger she had seen in Jessie scared her, and yet she knew instinctively that Jessie would never hurt her. "What does she want?" Rowan asked quietly, not completely understanding what had happened, only knowing that it now involved her.

A sharp laughter escaped from Jessie. "She wants to sleep with me."

"I figured that much, but why is she so persistent?" The anger she had sensed from Terri had to go beyond just sex.

"I guess she's not used to being told no." Shaking her head, Jessie smiled bitterly. "I'm not all that used to saying no either."

"Why did you say no then?" Rowan was curious. It was strange comment to make.

Because I met you. Because I wanted to change when I saw you. I didn't want her, I wanted you. She wanted to say that, she wanted to tell Rowan how she felt, but she couldn't tell her why. She didn't know herself why she felt that way. Instead, she said, "I just wasn't interested." She shrugged, taking a sip of her now cooled latte.

Somehow this disappointed Rowan. What had she expected? Jessie to say that she wanted her instead? She laughed to herself. Keep thinking that way, Rowan. She knew she would be fooling herself if she did. "Oh."

"I'd better get going," Jessie said standing. "I'll see you later, I guess." That was all she said as she walked out of the café, leaving Rowan sitting there alone.

Jessie opened the door to her apartment above her mother's bookstore. Gently she closed the door, making the decision to not take her anger out on a defenseless piece of wood. Once inside, she didn't turn the light on, she just sat down on the couch in her living room area. Elbows on her knees, she cradled her head in her hands, her entire body shaking.

Why was Rowan getting to her like this? Jessie had had plenty of women in her life. She would use them and then throw them away the next day, ready for the next one. In the last six months, she'd been alone. By choice. Her life had fallen in on her and she had come home to escape that life. Part of that former life was the different women in her bed, the conquest of sex. A fast paced, dangerous life, living on the edge, daring someone to push her over.

But, she'd left it. The life of a child was not worth all the thrills in the world. It had taken that brutal death to make her realize that she couldn't continue. It had broken her, left her realizing that she couldn't continue. Jessie Blackman left the days as Chicago drug lord behind. And now, she was trying to live a sedate life, dealing with the scars on her memory and dreams. Alone. It was simpler that way. No need to explain what she'd been doing with her life. No questions about her past.

Now she was actually contemplating letting someone into her world. How could she? How could she explain to someone like Rowan the things she had done in her past? How could she face her, seeing the disgust in her green eyes? How could she deal with the rejection?

"Yeah, sorry, I can't have a relationship with drug lord and murderer," Jessie said out loud, feeling for the first time how empty her apartment was with only her to fill the space. "Not that I could blame her." What had happened? Here she was, actually contemplating a relationship with a woman she'd only met twice.

"No!" She said bitterly out loud. "It's not going to happen, so I'm just going to forget about it!" She got up from the couch. She wasn't going to set herself up for something that wouldn't happen. Rowan could never love someone like her. Making herself realize that now would save a lot of anguish later. Kicking at a piece of paper on the floor of her living room, Jessie stormed into her bedroom.

Warming her hands on a cup of hot coffee, Rowan watched as Anne helped a customer find a copy of her favorite mystery author's newest book. She smiled to herself when Anne finally finished, plopping herself down in the chair next to Rowan.

Part of Shakespeare's Closet had been made a small cozy area with a coffee machine and plenty of Styrofoam cups. Rowan had come in an hour or so earlier, quickly making her purchases and settling into one of the plush chairs situated in the space. Anne would come over and join her when her attention wasn't needed elsewhere and the two of them would talk.

It was October and the infamous Wisconsin winter was pushing fiercely at Fall's door. The leaves had already fallen from the trees, leaving the wide flat land bare. Soon winter would be there if full form, covering the land in white snow and bitterly cold winds.

"So, how's Jessie been?" Rowan asked casually, taking a drink of coffee to keep herself from seeming too pushy. That was the main reason she'd come to the bookstore, she admitted to herself. Not that she didn't enjoy Anne or her company, but her true reason was less altruistic than merely paying a social call. She hadn't seen Jessie since the day at the coffee shop, even though she'd been in Anne's store as much as time permitted.

Sensing Rowan's attempt at appearing casual, Anne decided to go alone with that. She knew the young professor's real motive and she was secretly pleased. Her hopes of a romance between the two women hadn't seemed to be realized, but it was obvious that Rowan was interested. And she would swear that Jessie was too by the way her daughter kept asking about Rowan. "She's good. Busy. Her job and working at the women's shelter really keep her going."

Rowan's eyebrows came together as she looked at Anne. "Woman's shelter?" She asked curiously.

"She didn't tell you?" Anne wasn't as puzzled. "She doesn't really like to toot her own horn, so to speak. She volunteers at a woman's shelter here in town, mainly working on the hotline they have set up. A friend of hers runs it and she helps out there when ever she can."

"Wow, I didn't know that."

Shrugging, Anne took a sip of her own coffee, about to say something when the phone behind the counter rang. "Just a second," she said as she got up to answer the phone.

"Hello?" She paused, listening to whoever was on the other end. "Ohmygod, is she okay? Which hospital? Okay, I'll be right there." Anne quickly hung up the phone and reached for her jacket which was hanging behind the counter. Looking to Rowan, her eyes showed fear. "Jessie's been taken to the hospital. I don't know what happened, but I need to get over there."

"I'll stay and close up," Rowan said quickly, her own fear level rising.

"Thank you," Anne handed her a set of keys. "Just get everyone out of here and lock up."

"Which hospital?"

"Meriter," she said, as she headed toward the door. "Come down when you've finished."

"I will," Rowan yelled as Anne left.

The hospital seemed quiet. Nothing like what Rowan was used to on TV. As she entered through the main entrance, she headed toward the main desk. "A friend of mine was brought in here. Jessie….Blackman?" She had to quickly remember Anne's last name, hoping that Jessie's was the same.

The volunteer behind the help desk typed something into her computer. "Blackman…she was admitted about an hour ago. She should still be down in the Emergency Room. Follow the red lines on the floor and you'll find that wing. You'll have to ask the desk down there." The woman pointed to a wing off to the left.

Blindly, Rowan saw the red lines on the floor and began walking. She seemed to be walking through a maze, rather like a rat. Finally, she saw two swinging doors with the words "Emergency Room" in large red letters. Walking through the doors she was surrounded by chaos. Everywhere she looked people were rushing around. This is more like TV, she thought immediately. Seeing a desk with two people standing behind it, Rowan walked in that direction. "Excuse me, I need to find my friend."

"Name?" The attendant didn't look up from her computer screen.

"Jessie Blackman."

"Are you family?" The woman's fingers flew over the keyboard, not pausing as she spoke.

"No," Rowan realized that she might not be allowed to see Jessie at all.

"Are you Rowan?"

"Yes." How did they know her name.

"Clip this to your clothing, keep it on at all times. Go through the doors to your right. She's in room 4." The attendant handed her a red visitor's tag.

Rowan took the tag, immediately clipping it to her sweatshirt and proceeding through the doors rather than asking questions.

The "rooms" were curtained off cubicles, beds in each one. Large letters were painted in black over each bed. All around phones rang, people were talking. Seeing room number one, Rowan followed till she found room 4. The curtain that opened to the center of the room was open. Anne sat on a chair by the bed in the cubical. In the bed was a form that Rowan thought she'd recognize anywhere.

A bandage covered half of Jessie's face from forehead to chin. Her normally tan skin was ashen white. The eye that was visible was closed. Rowan quickly sucked in some air, resisting the urge to run over and take Jessie's hand.

Hearing her, Anne turned around and saw the panicked look on Rowan's face. "She's okay."

Anne's voice was welcoming, encouraging Rowan to walk closer. She kept her eyes on Jessie's still face, noting the woman's rising and falling chest. Stopping beside Jessie's bed, Rowan finally gave in and clasped one of Jessie's hands in her own. "What happened?" She managed to ask in a choked whisper.

"I got stupid," a slightly muffled voice answered her. A blue opened, standing out almost violently against the pale face. The half of her mouth that wasn't covered by bandages lifted in a small smile. The hand that Rowan held clasped her own, giving it a squeeze. Looking over at her mother, Jessie spoke again. "Mom, can you tell her?" Talking hurt.

Rowan turned to Anne, waiting for the explanation. Smiling at the two women, Anne began to talk. "My daughter was doing her usual heroic deed for the day. A woman called into the shelter, afraid that her husband was going to kill her. Jess decided to take matter into her own hands and went to pick up the woman so that she could take her back to the shelter. Apparently the husband wasn't willing to let his wife leave. He answered the door with a shot gun in his hand."

"He shot you?" Rowan questioned, looking at Jessie. The dark haired woman only shook her head no.

"No, she managed to wrestle the gun from him, not realizing that he had a knife as well. He managed to cut her while they were fighting over it," Anne stood up and looked at her daughter fondly, a bit of sadness in her eyes as well. "The police were on their way. But you just couldn't wait for them, could you?" Her voice wasn't malice or biting. "My brave, foolish girl. What am I going to do with you?"

"You love me," Jessie said, her words slurred slightly as her eye drooped.

"Yes, I love you." Anne said softly as her daughter succumbed to the drugs the doctor's had given her.

Rowan kept her hold on Jessie's hand, unwilling to let go. "She going to be okay?" She asked Anne softly.

"Yeah, the doctors are going to put in some stitches as soon as they get a chance. They took x-rays of it to make sure that the knife hadn't hit the bone, but from what I've been told it hasn't. It'll scar, but that can be taken care of with plastic surgery." She watched her daughter sleep, a mixture of emotions flooding her body.

"What happened to the guy?"

"I don't know. Jessie said he tried to run when the police showed up. She was carted out of there pretty fast and didn't know if they'd caught the bastard." Now Anne's voice was filled with anger, surprising Rowan who'd never heard the older woman's tone be anything but pleasant.

"Mrs. Blackman?" A youngish woman in a lab coat, holding a file, came into the room. Anne nodded her head yes. "I'm Dr. Moser. We're going to take Jessica to the suture room and put the stitches in, then she'll be put into room 3841. You can go up to the third floor and wait for her there if you'd like." Two orderlies showed up behind the doctor, ready to wheel Jessie out.

"Thank you," Anne said, gathering her jacket and purse. "Rowan will you come with me?"

"I planned on it," Rowan answered.

As the orderlies prepared to take Jessie out of there, Anne leaned over and kissed Jessie's forehead. Together, Anne and Rowan left the room and headed for the elevators.

"Ms. Blackman?" A smooth looking man with dirty blonde hair that looked recently cut stood in Jessie's hospital room doorway. His faded blue eyes scanned the room with a professional air.

"That's me," she answered dryly, aware that he had to be police. She could normally spot them from a distance. Her life depended on that many times.

"Detective Michael Moore, Madison police." He held up his badge for a minute before returning it to the breast pocket of his shirt. "Can I ask you a few questions?"

"Sure, come on in." She pointed to a plastic chair sitting by the bed. "Make yourself at home." No point in alienating the local police force. That would come later when they discovered who she was. If they discovered who she was, she amended to herself.

The detective chose not to sit down, rather he stood at the end of her bed, his brown eyes starring at her intently. "Why did you allow yourself to be put in danger?" Was his first question.

Surprised, expecting to be asked to give a run down of what happened when, Jessie blinked at him. "Why did I allow it?" Her voice rose in disbelief. "Allow it?" She gave a brittle laugh. "I did not allow it, Detective Moore. The choice was taken from me the minute that asshole decided to threaten his wife's life." She returned his stare, unwilling to look away as her anger filled her.

Michael looked at Jessie in her hospital bed. He found himself respecting the woman's bravery, even though he thought it incredibly stupid. He studied the side of her face that wasn't covered in bandage, seeing the fine beauty in the facial structure, seeing the intense blue eye that glared back at him. "Did you know Mr…" he looked at the standard note pad in his hands, "Mr. Colston before this incident?"

"No," she said shortly, still angry at his attitude.

"Mrs. Colston?"

"No, I didn't know either of them. She called in, scared shitless that he was going to kill her. She gave me their address just before he grabbed the phone and started screaming into it." She shook her head in frustration. "I didn't even think about contacting the police, they wouldn't have gotten there in time. I got into my truck and headed over there." She remembered hearing Mrs. Colston's screaming even from the street. Neighbors were surely listening from behind closed doors. The sound of a gun discharging caused Jessie's pace to quicken to a run. "He opened the door with the gun in his hand. I was close enough, I got the gun away, but he pulled a knife, swinging at me." She didn't really need to finish. What happened was obvious. He'd cut her. By that time, the police, called by one of the hidden neighbors, arrived. "Did they get there in time?" Jessie asked quietly, her voice husky.

"No." Michael slowly shook his head and Jessie caught a glimpse of extreme sadness in his eyes. "She was dead before the EMTs could try to revive her. He'd shot her in the chest, point blank, with the shotgun. She didn't stand as chance."

Behind his words, Jessie finally got a glimpse of his humanity. Gone was the stiff mask that made him seem completely without feeling, leaving him completely vulnerable to Jessie's gaze. He doesn't even realize it, she concluded. There was no way he would reveal so much to someone he knew nothing about. Clearing her throat, she asked one more question. "Did you get him?" Her voice was softer this time as they both shared the grief of the loss of the woman who had died. Neither of them had known her, but they were both a part of her death now.

Lifting his head to look at Jessie, Michael's eyes hardened as he answered. "No, he got away."

They starred at each other, each of them silently vowing to find this man. He wouldn't be allowed to escape the punishment he deserved. Michael almost invisibly nodded his head in acknowledgment to the revenge he saw in Jessie's eyes. He hoped that he found Colston first, but he wouldn't do anything to prevent her from doing what she had to.

Taking a business card out of the inside pocket of his sport jacket, he laid in on the table. "Call me if you…remember…anything else. Or if you just want to go out for a cup of coffee or something." It was his silent invitation to share information.

Jessie nodded at him, her head feeling heavy. "It's time for you to leave Detective,” Dr. Moser stood in the doorway, Jessie's chart in her hands. "The patient needs to rest."

Michael ducked his head, gave Jessie one last look, and left. There was no doubt in either of their minds that they'd be seeing each other again soon.

Rowan was incredibly nervous as she stepped off the elevator at the hospital. In one hand she held a small vase of tastefully arranged flowers. In the other hand, she clutched a small teddy bear. What had she been thinking? She inwardly shook her head, sighing with her own stupidity. Like Jessie was really the flowers-and-stuffed-animals type of woman. Her eyes shifted around the busy hospital hallway. Maybe she could ditch them before getting to Jessie's room.

"Rowan!" Too late Rowan realized as a familiar husky voice called out to her. Turning, she saw Jessie coming toward her. The bandage on Jessie's face had gotten smaller since Rowan had last seen her. One eye and one cheek were still covered with the white bandage, but her coloring had gotten better. A hospital gown hung off her shoulders, concealing little.

She even looks good in a hospital gown, Rowan thought. Involuntarily, she felt her chest warm as she looked at the taller woman. Really good.

"Are those for me?" Jessie's face lit up, making her look a lot like a kid at Christmas.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, Rowan smiled at the other woman. "Yes," she said shyly, handing the flowers and bear to Jessie.

Taking the offered gifts, Jessie smelled the flowers, a soft smile forming on her lips. "Thank you," she said quietly.

They stood awkwardly in the hallway for a minute, neither one of them aware of the other people who passed by them, each absorbed in the presence of each other. Finally, Jessie spoke up. "I wanted to…" she hesitated, finding this harder than she thought it would be. "…thank you for coming to the hospital the other day. And for closing up the bookstore for mom." She looked at the floor for a moment before raising her eyes to meet Rowan's. "I really do appreciate it."

"I did what I could to help. I was just glad I was there at the time."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," Rowan said quietly, a smile coming to her face. "Well, I don't want to bother you, so I'll just…” She gestured toward the elevators.

"No!" Jessie said quickly, lightly grabbing Rowan's hand with her own. "Please, stay. I'm about to go out of my mind with boredom here. Come on back to my room." Still holding the other woman's hand, she led her to her room. Jessie immediately perched on the bed, her legs hanging over the side of the high hospital bed. "Sit," she patted a place next to her.

Climbing onto the bed, Rowan took a position similar to Jessie's, her legs dangling off the bed. "How much longer are you going to be here?"

"Well, they want me to see a plastic surgeon here at the hospital about scarring. I guess they're keeping me to make sure I stay out of trouble." Actually, the knife had hit her cheekbone, causing fragments of bone to break loose. They wanted to keep her just to keep an eye on her.

"In that case, I brought you something else." Reaching into her ever-present book bag, Rowan pulled out a book.

"Hey! The new Mickey book!" She glanced at Rowan. "Is this your copy?"

"Yup. Read it already."

"Really? Damn, you read fast!" Jessie was honestly surprised. A quick reader herself, she never seemed to find the time to really read anymore.

"Well, it's a good book. Definitely sucks you in!" She flopped back onto the bed, closing her eyes. "So, it's your turn to read it."

Turning the book over in her hands, Jessie grinned. "Thanks." Out of the corner of her eye, she took in the sight of Rowan laying on her bed. Full lips tempted her, making her own lips tingle in response. Hands ached to reach out and touch Rowan, to draw her closer. It would be so easy, she thought, to just lift Rowan up and resettle her right on top of her. I'm gone. And again she looked at Rowan's face. And so is she, she thought as she realized that Rowan had fallen asleep. A gentle smile formed on Jessie's lips as she watched the other woman sleep, a calm spreading through her body. Something about Rowan did that for her. It calmed the stormy sea that was Jessie's normal life, making it all seem insignificant next to this kind-hearted woman.

A soft snore came from Rowan, causing Jessie to laugh silently. Too cute. Getting off the bed, Jessie carefully moved Rowan's body so that she was straightened out on the bed. The blonde didn't wake as she was moved, she just smiled in her sleep and murmured "I love you," before beginning to snore again.

"I love you,” Jessie responded instantly, surprising herself. Oh well, it's true. Even if I don't know why, she reasoned. She leaned over the sleeping woman and kissed her forehead. Settling into the soft visitor's chair, Jessie opened the book and began to read, glancing at Rowan every few paragraphs.

In her dreams, Rowan felt hands touching her, knowing hands that caressed her body, exciting her. In response, her body writhed beneath whomever was touching her. Her own hands found purchase on a strong back covered in soft skin. While she couldn't name who was making love to her, it was someone completely familiar to her. Someone who knew exactly what she needed, what would drive her to the brink of ecstasy. Someone who touched Rowan's soul while also touching her body. As she strained to see who was over her, she saw two perfect breasts taunting her from above, swaying close to her mouth. Not even needed to think about it, Rowan pulled the body closer to her so that she could take a nipple in her mouth. A cry of pleasure came from the woman above her. "I love you," a familiar voice told her.

Just as her mind started to see through the cloud that kept her from the knowledge she sought, she felt a hand between her legs. Arching her hips, she silently begged to be entered and soon got what she wanted. As she climaxed, she released the breast she still held in her mouth, and screamed out a name.

"Jessie!" A husky voice called from the stark hospital bed, a strange but familiar quality in the cry.

Jessie, who had fallen asleep herself, roused out of her own dreams and went to the bed. She looked at Rowan's flushed face, and for an instant thought that that was what the woman would look like when being made love to. Trying to shake the thought from her head, she reached out and cupped Rowan's cheek. "Hey, Ro, wake up. It's only a dream." She repeated this over and over, until finally Rowan's eyelids moved to reveal two green eyes.

Rowan was startled to find herself in the vaguely familiar room, fully clothed, with Jessie standing over her. A wave of heat washed over her as she remembered her dream. It had been Jessie making love to her. The wetness between her legs indicated that she had definitely enjoyed the dream. Quickly she looked up at Jessie to see whether or not the woman knew anything. Jessie looked concerned, but nothing indicated that she had any idea of what Rowan had been dreaming of. Extremely embarrassed, she sat up in the bed. "What happened?" She said sleepily, rubbing at her eyes with both hands.

"You fell asleep."

"Why didn't you just wake me up?"

"You looked tired. I figured I'd let you sleep." Silently she added and you looked too cute to wake up.

"Jesus,” Rowan mumbled. "I guess I was tired."

Jessie thought about telling Rowan what had awakened her, but looking at the flush that was still on Rowan's face, she decided that maybe now wasn't the time.

"Do you always let strange women sleep in your hospital bed?" Rowan tried to tease Jessie.

"You're not strange." Jessie got very serious suddenly. "I know you." She realized that she meant that on more than just one level. Something inside of her knew Rowan. Something had drawn her to Rowan from the very first. And even as she tried to fight it, she was getting closer and closer to the woman. Losing to herself.

Rowan didn't know how to respond to Jessie's sobriety. Ducking her head, she remained silent for a moment. "Hey, I'd better get going." She finally said. Her head was still clouded with sleep and her body was still burning from her dream. Fresh air would be good right now.

"Thanks for coming by and sleeping in my bed." Jessie grinned at her, letting Rowan know that she was being teased.

"Anytime," she blurted out. Shit Rowan, why don't you just throw yourself at her?

Not saying anything, Jessie just raised an eyebrow at the comment.

"Okay, well, give me a call when you get out of this place." Rowan hopped off the bed, and hurried out of the room before Jessie could reply.

"How about now?" Jessie whispered as the woman fled. With a sign she closed her eyes to get some much-needed sleep.

The nightmare that came while she slept was realistic in its colors and sharp, defined lines. It started out like most of them did, allowing her to watch her own figured. As usual she was dressed in black leather pants, a cropped black shirt that was tight over her chest and stomach, black boots and black leather coat. Her dark hair was whipping around her face and dark sunglasses hit her eyes. Instinctively she knew that under the coat she was carrying a gun, and that slipped between her leather boots and her skin was a knife that was razor sharp and easily accessible with practice.

This time she was standing on a street corner, surrounded by people who walked around her like she didn’t exist. Peering into the faces of those passing, she recognized a few, but most she didn’t know. All of them were pale, their faces full of pain, and their clothes hung on them like scarecrows. A bright sun shone down on the street, creating the surreal scene around her, which passed her by, not touching her.

“You!” Someone yelled from behind her and she heard screams going up from all around, people began to run in all directions.

Pivoting her body around, Jessie put her hand in her coat and firmly grasped her gun. Behind her stood Don Colston, the man who had killed his wife, the gun in his hand shining in the sun. Narrowing her eyes at him, she glared even though he couldn’t see behind her sunglasses.

“Me?” She said with ease, a contrast to his sweating, red face and shaking gun filled hand.

“I’ve got something you want,” he taunted, sneering at her.

Bored, Jessie yawned. “You think so?”

“Nick!” Colston yelled to someone in the crowd.

What the fuck was Nick doing here? Jessie wondered as she looked for the familiar face behind Colston.

He was there, and he was dragging someone behind him. Grinning in greeting, he jerked his hand, pulling his victim with savage ease. It was Rowan.

Sad, panic filled green eyes stared at her, Jessie’s heart stopping painfully. She had led Rowan here. To this. If Rowan had never met Jessie then she would have never have been brought to the attention of the people who wanted to hurt her.

She had never let herself care before. She had never let anyone become a target because she knew that she would never be able to bear the loss of her heart.

Even as these thoughts ran through her mind, Colston quickly moved the gun so that it was no longer pointing at her, but now it was aimed at Rowan.

The gunshot woke Jessie out of her dream screaming. When she finally stopped screaming, her heart continued to race. Taking deep, even breaths, Jessie’s mind was chanting it was only a dream over and over in a never-ending mantra.

Minutes past as she lay there trying to get herself under control. I have to protect her. I want to be with her, I want her in my life, but I can’t let anything happen. I don’t want her blood on my hands. But that was an excuse. If she’d been honest with herself she would realize that she needed to protect not Rowan, but her own heart.

“It doesn’t look that bad,” Rowan commented as she traced the heeling scar on Jessie’s face with a feather light touch. Although the woman had only been let out of the hospital a week before, the vicious wound on her face was heeling very rapidly. Rowan had gone to the bookstore with the sole purpose of seeing her new friend who had finally been released from the hospital. She wasn’t going to deny it, she was attracted to her and had hopes that they could have more than friendship. She’d seen spark of desire in the other woman’s eyes at least once, and was willing to see if they could ignite that spark.

The touch to her face, while soft, was tickling the tall woman, causing her to both want to pull away and move in closer. Rowan didn’t realize just how close she’d gotten to the other woman until her eyes shifted and she found herself staring at full, moist lips. Her eyes flickered up to catch sapphire eyes staring back at her and she could feel the desire from the other woman. Slowly, she leaned forward even more and gently placed her lips on Jessie’s.

The kiss was hesitant, but sweet. Startled at first, Jessie didn’t respond but it was only seconds before she felt the fire in her belly and the need in her soul. Consumed with the other woman her arms went around a small waist, pulling her forward. Rowan gladly nestled her body against Jessie’s, feeling the hard muscle of her thighs and stomach as well as the soft fullness of her breasts. Moaning into the kiss, she gave herself completely to it, wanting it badly.

Even as she deepened the kiss, Jessie remembered her dreams. The nightmares that had taken on new meaning since she’d met the blonde-haired woman. She could get hurt, all because of me. Her inner voice disturbed her, causing her to pull away, breathlessly, from the kiss. She stared into Rowan’s eyes, seeing the need and desire, feeling the heat between them.

“What are…” Anne came into the small store room where she’d seen Rowan and Jessie go, wondering what was taking her daughter so long to find the box of Harry Potter books. The electricity in the room was overwhelming as she could swear that she saw sparks emanate from one woman to the other. Swollen lips on both women were an indication of what had been taking so long and Anne could have kicked herself for interrupting.

Familiar eyes that were as blue as hers turned and looked at her, stunning her with the passion and turmoil she saw there. Gasping at the painful stare, she fumbled for an apology. “Sorry…customer asking…just wanted to see…” This is ridiculous! Anne told herself, realizing that there was no covering for what she’d interrupted. “I really need a copy of that book, Jess.” Her voice soft, she didn’t want to convey anything that could be perceived as negative.

As realization set in, a veil fell over the emotions that had been so prevalent in Jessie’s eyes. “Sorry mom,” was all she said as she moved from Rowan and found the box she’d originally set out to find. Handing the small box to her mother, she felt a pang in her chest.

She’s almost lost control. If she had, she and Rowan would have gotten to a point where there would have been no returning. This was something she was sure of. She’d never experienced anything like this before now and it was overwhelming all of her senses, causing her to loose her mental balance. And she knew that if they proceeded in taking this further, it would be explosive. Their passions would meet and create a blackhole in their universe. It was frightening and exhilarating.

With bravado that she wasn’t sure she actually had, she looked over at the smaller woman. Tumultuous green eyes looked back at her, filled with so much that Jessie almost gasped out loud. You don’t understand Rowan! I can’t do this. I can’t let you in. I can’t! I can’t! I can’t! It was with defeat that she said this to herself, realizing that she didn’t have much hope. She had already started to give herself to this other woman. Her resolve was having trouble holding firm as her inner war continued to create havoc.

Tentatively, Rowan moved closer to the other woman, feeling that something was happening to her, but not sure how to approach it. Dammit, why did I kiss her? She wasn’t ready for it. I hope I didn’t blow it! Fear gripped at her, leaving her praying that Jessie wouldn’t run.

“Jess?” Reaching out a tentative hand, Rowan hoped that she wouldn’t be closed out.

“Yeah?” Blue eyes flashed at her with nonchalance. It was almost painful to see her attempt at pretending everything was normal.

“Nothing,” Rowan said, her cheeks flushed a painfully bright red. “I have to go,” she quickly turned and left the storeroom. Her embarrassment was too great to stay and suffer Jessie’s coolness. Infused with confusion, she didn’t even say goodbye to Anne on her way out.

Back in the storeroom, Jessie leaned her forehead against the cool wall. What had she just done?

By the time Rowan got home, she was in tears. What had happened? Had she read the signs wrong? Was Jessie not interested in her? Sitting down on the chair in her living room, she absently stroked Tiger, who had crawled into her lap. Her mind just couldn’t grasp what had gone wrong.

The phone rang, interrupting her haze of confusion. Dumping the cat on the floor, she went to the phone, peering at the caller id before picking up. Just as she was about to answer she saw the name on the little box. Shakespeare’s Closet. It was either Anne or…Rowan wasn’t about to answer it, her voice mail could get it.

Sitting back down on the chair, her emotions continued their roller coaster ride as she replayed the scene earlier.

The phone rang again. Again, Rowan got up and checked it. Same as last time. “What? Do you think that I really want to talk to you after that?” She snorted in anger and stomped back to the chair. “You think that you can turn me on and off like a faucet? You think it’s okay to play with my emotions like I don’t matter? Well, you can’t and it’s not!”

A small part of her realized that she was probably being unfair. She’d clearly seen the confusion written clearly on Jessie’s face. But, she was hurt. How was she supposed to be fair and rational when she was hurting so badly?

A third time the phone rang. “Goddammit!” She growled and picked the phone up. “I’m not here!” She shouted into the phone.

“You certainly seem there, my mistake.” The voice was familiar, but it wasn’t the voice she’d been expecting.

“Dena?” Rowan asked into the mouthpiece, feeling only slightly ashamed of her reaction.

“Not who you expected?” The other woman asked, hearing the strange quality in her friend’s voice.

Laughing lightly, Rowan allowed herself to relax slightly. “No, sorry.”

“S’okay. Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just having a bad day.”

“Well then, I have a prospect for you that might cheer you up!” Dena sounded really excited, but Rowan was hesitant.

“And that would be?”

“A blind date!”

“No!” Rowan groaned. “Not another one!”

“Now, now, this one is not one of mine! Jamie found this one and thought of you right away.” Jamie was Dena’s girlfriend.

“Well, I have doubts about Jamie’s taste. After all, she picked you, didn’t she?”

“Ha ha, so very funny,” came the dry reply. “Ten o’clock tonight, we’ll pick you up.”

It wouldn’t hurt, Rowan guessed. It wasn’t like she had any reason not to go. Maybe getting out would be just the thing for her. “Can you tell me where we’re going at least?”

“Sure, The Foxhole. You game?”

“I’ll be ready.”

“Cool, bye!” And with that, Dena’s voice was gone, replaced by dial tone. Gently, Rowan hung the phone back up.

Looking at the clock on the wall in her kitchen, she realized that she had more than 5 hours to get ready. Sighing, Rowan decided to go for a walk, hoping that time would pass quicker if she did. Picking up her coat from where she’d tossed it before, she felt the coat pocket for her keys and went out the front door, locking it carefully behind her.

Something was wrong here, desperately wrong. Anne watched her dark-haired daughter as she helped straighten shelves in the store. It was Friday night, which meant that Shakespeare’s Closet was open until 10 P.M. State Street was always busy on Friday nights, despite the cold weather that was threatening to overcome Madison any day now. Winter was never pleasant in the Midwest, but that didn’t stop people from shopping and relaxing on the weekends.

Looking at her watch, she sighed when she realized that they still had 5 hours till it would be time to close. That meant 5 hours of being with her now reticent daughter. Her attempts at getting answers from her daughter had been met with glares and hostile silence. After Rowan had stormed out of the store, Anne figured that intervention might be required.

“Jess?” Coming up her daughter in the History section, Anne somehow wasn’t surprised to find Jessie near the war books.

Looking up, Jessie raised an eyebrow in silent question.

“Can I talk to you now?”

Sighing heavily, Jessie sat down on the small stool used to reach the higher shelves. “What do you want know?” Why fight a force as powerful as her mother? It was only another battle she would loose today.

“Why did Rowan leave here in such a hurry?”

Giving a humorless chuckle, Jessie held her head in her hands. “Because she kissed me.”

Anne’s first reaction was wide eyed. Then, in seconds, her eyes were slits and her brows came together in puzzlement. “Wait a minute. She left because SHE kissed YOU?”

“Yup. Next question?”

“Didn’t you…want her to kiss you?” This was extremely confusing. She’d read the chemistry between the two women, she’d seen the energy between them. What was going on here?

“Yup. Next.”

It was Anne’s turn to give the raised eyebrow. “Don’t be a smart ass Jessie.”

Sighing again, Jessie rubbed at her eyes. “I’m sorry mom. I’m just…well, I don’t know what I am, but it’s not pleasant.” Since the blonde had left, Jessie’s body had felt the loss. Her heart ached, her stomach threatened to rebel, and her head pounded. Something had been taken away from her, something that she hadn’t even realized that she’d gotten, but now that it was gone, the pain was evidence of its loss.

Sympathy filled Anne’s face as she saw her daughter’s obviously warring emotions. “I know I may be an old, straight woman, but why don’t you give my ears a whirl? I promise to listen and don’t only give advice when asked.”

As she was waiting for the answer, the bell on the door signaled an incoming customer. “Listen, think about it. I’m here if you want to talk. Just come and find me,” and with a pat on her daughter’s knee, Anne left her alone with her thoughts.

The sound of Anne welcoming the new comer to the store was barely audible from where Jessie continued to sit, the books insulating her from too much noise. She didn’t know how long she’d sat there, but finally, she got up and made her way to where the cash register was and where she knew that her mother would be waiting.

Sidling up to the counter, Jessie leaned back against the edge of the counter and looked at her mother, who just looked right back at her. “So…” she said, not sure where to start.

“The beginning is a good place honey.”

And it all spilled out. Jessie told her about the nightmares she’d been having since moving back to Madison, about meeting Rowan and the new feelings she was having. She spoke of the fear of getting involved with the other woman.

“Mom, I think that I could real feel something…well, real with Rowan. But, I haven’t been a saint and people are always going to be after me for the things that I have done. How can I even think about a relationship with her if I can’t guarantee her safety?”

The pain in her daughter’s familiar eyes was so deep that Anne could feel it emanating from her. “Does she know about your past?”

“No,” was the reply. Jessie kept her head down, ashamed that she had done things in her past that could warrant such questions. “I didn’t want to scare her off. I wanted a friend, but I should have known that first night that friendship was just the tip of the iceberg with her.” Suddenly pounding her hand on the counter, Jessie’s face contorted with anger. “Goddammit mom! She…she makes me feel so much. Good and bad, and I can’t stand suddenly having these emotions and dreams only to know that I don’t deserve them. And dammit, I feel pain when I think of her. My chest aches and I feel like I’m going to drown when I look into her eyes. How could I feel all of this?”

Now Anne looked at her daughter with understanding. “I think if you look at yourself deep enough you’ll see how.”

Jessie’s face went blank as she thought. Then, she realized what her mother was saying and the color went out of her face. “No,” she whispered. “It can’t be possible, can it?”

“Yes, it can.” Anne nodded with a small smile on her face. Her normally brilliant and quick-minded daughter was slow to see what was so obvious and Anne found it amusing. “You’re in love sweetheart.”

Flowers in hand, Jessie nervously approached Rowan’s house. It was late, but she saw the light on in the living room. She’d been talking to her mother for hours, trying to reconcile these new feelings with her own fears of failing the other woman. Anne had helped her to see that the only way for things to work out would be for Jessie to give Rowan a chance to make her own decision. What Anne said wasn’t fair was that Rowan didn’t have all the information. She didn’t know about Jessie’s past, so her deck was only half full. In time, Jessie would have to tell her. Anne understood when her daughter said she wasn’t ready yet, but that at some point, before things went too far, she’d tell her. Until then, she’d do the old fashion thing - she’d court her.

Knocking on the door, Jessie shuffled her feet waiting for Rowan to come. “Just a second!” A familiar voice called out.

Suddenly the door was opened and Jessie was face to face with a very surprised Rowan. “What are you doing here?”

“Um, I came to say I’m sorry?” Butterflies flew through Jessie’s stomach with wild abandonment.

“Ummm…” Rowan looked over the taller woman’s shoulder to the street, before turning back to Jessie. It was then that Jessie saw that Rowan was dressed up and had her coat on.

“I’m sorry, I came at a bad time,” she said hastily, thrusting the flowers at Rowan and turning to leave.

“No!” Despite all her anger and hurt, Rowan didn’t want the woman to leave. “Come back Jessie.”

Slowly, the dark-haired woman turned around and looked at Rowan. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, come in.”

They both went into the house with Jessie closing the door after them. Suddenly shy, Jessie didn’t know what to say to the woman. They sat down together on the couch, each taking a different end. Picking up one of the throw pillows, Jessie played with the fringed ends, not able to look at Rowan.

“So?” The smaller woman couldn’t help herself. She came here, that doesn’t mean that I have to make it easy on her.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted.” She looked shyly up. “I don’t want you to think that it’s you or anything. I…I have some things I need to work through.”

Rowan nodded, still not feeling much better than she had before, but at least Jessie had made the effort to come all this way and talk to her.

Another knock on the front door halted the conversation. Rowan got up and opened the door. There stood a striking woman of average height with short blonde hair and wire rimmed glass covering her chocolate brown eyes. She gave Rowan a charming smile. “Hi, my name’s Mandy. Jamie and Dena are out in the car. Are you ready to go?”

An instant welling of jealousy filled Jessie when she saw the other woman. Rowan smiled back at Mandy and ushered her inside, poking her head out and signaling to the waiting car that they’d only be a minute. “Come on in, I just need to get my coat back on. I’m Rowan, obviously.”

Mandy again smiled at her. She started looking around the room when she saw Jessie sitting on the couch. Her eyes narrowed at the other woman, a reaction that was not lost on Rowan. “This is my friend Jessie. Jessie, meet Mandy.”

Rising from her position on the couch, Jessie shook hands with the other woman, trying hard not to throw the woman through a window. Mandy gave Jessie a slow once over and then flashed her an interested smile. “Very, very nice to meet you…Jessie.” Her hand lingered a little longer than necessary as she studied the gorgeous woman in front of her.

Maybe they’d want a three-some? Mandy thought evilly to herself. Looking back at Rowan she couldn’t help but take in the beauty of the blonde, watching her tight muscles move under her shirt as she put her coat back on. Stepping toward her, Mandy reached out and helped Rowan find the sleeve of her coat.

“Thank you,” Rowan said with a smile, while Jessie shot daggers of death from her eyes. She could tell that Mandy was not the nice girl that she seemed to be. There was something about her that Jessie didn’t trust and she sure as hell didn’t like her being near Rowan.

“My pleasure,” was Mandy’s reply as she gave her a sensual smile. “Are you…both coming with me…I mean, with us tonight?”

Jessie caught the slip and immediately understood the subtle question. “Jessie, do you want to come?” Rowan asked innocently, not realizing the innuendo passing through the air.

This woman is a slippery one, Jessie thought to herself. I’m not leaving Rowan with her, no way, no how. I don’t care what she thinks, I’m going. “Sure, why not.”

“Let’s go,” Mandy’s smile had gotten even bigger, if that was possible. Oh yeah, tonight’s going to be so much fun! She turned to smile at the tall dark-haired woman but her smile froze on her face. Blue eyes had turned to chips of ice, staring at her with malice and disgust. Gulping in air, Mandy almost started to seriously rethink her plans for the night. But, one look at the way the Rowan’s hips subtly swished as she walked was enough for her to gain courage. Okay, so it will only be two of us in bed. I can handle that.

In the car, brief introductions were made. Dena was at the wheel with Jamie in the passenger seat. The two women looked at each other with surprise as Jessie got into the car. “Damn, she’s hot!’ Dena whispered, saliva forming in her mouth at the lewd thoughts going through her mind. “Ow!” She exclaimed when Jamie slapped her thigh.

Mandy gestured for Rowan to climb in the back seat first, and was about to get in her after her, but Jessie managed to work her way between the door and the woman, getting in second. There was no way in hell she was going to let this woman sit between them.

Formerly the Bombay Bicycle Club, Club 5 was now the biggest and most popular place for those in the Lesbian, Gay, BI, and Transsexual community in Madison and the surrounding area. With a 1,550 square foot dance floor, two different bars, and a restaurant, Club 5 was definitely the hot spot for a Saturday night.

The ride there wasn’t long, which was good for the three women sharing the cramped back seat. Dena did most of the talking as she drove, with Mandy and Jamie piping in every once in awhile.

Rowan was quiet as her mind was filled with both excitement and trepidation. Why had Jessie come with them? You invited her, dummy! Why had she done that? Out of the corner of her eye she watched the stoic woman next to her. Because you want her. That was clear enough in Rowan’s mind, but Jessie’s speech rolled through her mind.

When they pulled up to the unassuming building, Dena pulled into an empty parking spot and they all piled out.

The Foxhole was the lesbian bar/club within Club 5. Walking in, Jessie immediately scanned the room, taking in the layout. It was an old habit that she wasn’t in any hurry to get rid of. The other women immediately made a beeline for a corner table that was empty. Sauntering behind them, she covertly noticed the exits, the patrons and the seating arrangements before she turned her attention to the others.

Dena was looking at her with frank admiration while Jamie went to get them drinks. Rowan had already taken a seat and was in what appeared to be a very intimate conversation with Mandy. As for Mandy, she had a look in her eyes that reminded Jessie of a beast getting ready to devour prey. Wild Kingdom, here I come. Grabbing a nearby empty chair, Jessie squeezed herself in so that she was sitting on the other side of Rowan, her back to the wall.

“That’s a nasty looking cut on your face.” Jessie turned and saw Dena looking at her with a provocative smile on her face. “How’d you get it?”

Three sets of eyes were on her now, waiting to hear her answer. “Wrong place, wrong time. The usual.” Shrugging, Jessie watched Rowan carefully, seeing that Mandy’s arm had snaked around the back of her chair.

“Can I get you something to drink?” Mandy asked Rowan, her attention fully on the blonde.

“Sure, a B52 on the rocks, if you please.”

“Can you get me a Miller while you’re there?” Jessie pulled out her wallet.

“No problem,” Mandy winked at Jessie and walked away before she could give her the money.

Jessie watched as Mandy approached the bar. A woman approached Mandy and they started talking as they waited for the bartender to get to them. They seemed to be laughing together, giving the impression that they were old friends, or at least pals.

“How can you stand to be with her?” She couldn’t help herself. This woman was obviously wrong for Rowan.

Green eyes focused on her, giving her a surprised look. “I hardly know her, I’m just here to have some fun.”

“Yeah, she thinks she’s going to have some fun tonight,” she said, pointing to where Mandy was still talking to her friend. Jessie’s eyes narrowed as she saw Mandy point subtly to Rowan, making a thrusting motion with her hips. “You’re not going to tell me that you didn’t see that?”

Anger welled in Rowan, but not at Mandy’s crude idea of getting her in bed, but at Jessie’s nerve. “So, she thinks she’s going to sleep with me tonight? So what? It’s my choice, not hers and certainly not yours!”

Growling deep in her throat, Jessie’s anger grew as well. “Fine, I was just trying to help. Go ahead, go get mauled by handy-Mandy, see if I care!”

Dena watched the exchange in fascination. The sparks of electricity that were flying between the two women was almost palatable. Jesus, look at the fire in Rowan’s eyes! Now, Dena had known the other woman for a few years, going back to their days in college when they’d both clung together due to the common bond of being gay. She’d seen her get involved with quiet a few women. But, this was different. Beneath the anger the two women were clearly feeling, there was something else, something molten and blistering, shared between them. Hot diggity! I’m betting that their first time in bed together will be explosive! She giggled at the thought, drawing the two women’s attention.

“What!” They both yelled at her together, causing Dena to hold her hands up in peace.

“Nothing, nothing, just remembering something funny I saw the other night. Go on, keep up with the foreplay.” Her laughter only grew when she saw the expressions on their faces. Rowan’s blushed deeply and Jessie’s went slack and then quickly closed completely.

“Excuse me,” Jessie got up and walked away.

“Wowziers!” Dena stared at the retreating form in amazement. “Have you slept with her yet?” She said to Rowan, earning her an elbow in the ribs. “Ouch! Whadda do that for?”

“Why do you have to be so…crude!”

“It’s just a question!”

“Well, the answer is no. And I won’t be sleeping with her. Okay?”

“Okay, okay, didn’t know I was touching a sensitive subject.” Dena felt bad as she saw Rowan’s face fall, a glimpse of sadness behind her eyes.

Sighing loudly, Rowan put her head in her hands and took several deep breaths. “I’m sorry Dena, I…well, I just don’t really want to think about that right now.”

“Are you two dating?” She had to get her information before she’d just let it go.

“No.”

“Why not?” It was obvious to her that these two had some kind of chemistry that would not just lie down and be quiet.

“She doesn’t want me,” Rowan said sadly.

“Here are the drinks!” Mandy put down a full glass in front of Rowan, while carelessly dumping Jessie’s beer bottle at her place. Jamie sat down as well, handing Dena a bottle of beer. Immediately Mandy noticed that the tall, dark-haired woman was gone, but she decided not to comment. After the hostility she’d gotten from her, Mandy was rather glad she was gone.

“Thank you,” Rowan said quietly. Her day had brought so many emotions to the surface that she couldn’t just pretend not to be upset.

“Would you like to play a game of pool?” There was something bothering Rowan, but Mandy didn’t really want to know what it was. Getting her up and active might do something to dissipate the woman’s dour mood.

“Sure.” The two women got up and, taking their drinks, went toward the only unused pool table.

“Tonight is going to be filled with fun, I can see that already!” Dena observed out loud before filling Jamie in on what had happened while she was gone.

“Rack or break?” Mandy asked, setting her drink down on the rail of the pool table. She squat down and put 4 quarters into the slots on the money receiver on the side of the pool table. Pushing it in with force, she stood back up grinning.

Rowan put her own drink on the side and grabbed the triangle rack from beneath the table. “You can break first,” she said, pulling the balls out two at a time and placing them in the rack.

Selecting a cues stick, Mandy chalked up the tip and retrieved the cue ball from its nesting place. Deciding that her rack was tight enough, Rowan pulled the triangle away, leaving behind a perfectly formed triangle of balls. With a loud smack! The white cue ball hit the rack, sending balls scattering over the table. Despite the good break, none of the balls sank, giving Rowan the chance to decide if she wanted stripes or solids.

Standing at the bar, a bottle of beer in her hand, Jessie watched the blonde woman with handy-Mandy at the pool table. Her blue eyes squinted as she watched, a frown permanently placed on her face. From the back of her throat came a growling noise as Mandy bent too close to Rowan, her hands on Rowan’s hips.

“Well, it looks like your little girlfriend got bored.” The familiar voice from behind Jessie did nothing to brighten her mood. Ignoring the taunt, Jessie kept her eyes focused on Rowan.

Smiling, Terri moved around so that she could see Jessie’s face. “Does this mean you’re free for the evening?” She lifted her eyebrows up and down suggestively.

This woman just doesn’t give up, does she? Taking a long draw from her beer bottle, Jessie put it down hard on the bar. Focusing her eyes on Terri, she almost laughed when the other woman jumped back in shock at the expression in her eyes. “You want to play, Terri? Is that what you really want?”

Seriously beginning to change her mind about pursuing Jessie altogether, Terri stumbled over her reply. “Listen, Jessie, I…I was just kidding around, ya know?” Feeling completely like she was about to be devoured whole by a vicious, blood-sucking bug, Terri began backing up slowly. She was not used to not having the upper hand. She wasn’t scared exactly by this change in Jessie, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to mess with it either. “So, listen, I have to get going. I’ll see you around, okay?” Turning without waiting for a response, Terri practically ran in the opposite direction.

“That was kind of fun,” Jessie said softly to herself even as her eyes found Rowan again. The growl that had before been quiet was now heard full force. She rushed over to the pool table even as Rowan slapped Mandy’s face. The sound of the palm of Rowan’s hand hitting Mandy’s face resounded in Jessie’s ears.

“You fucking bitch!” Mandy roared at Rowan, her true nature coming out in full force as her hands grabbed for Rowan’s wrists.

“Think again,” Jessie’s husky voice caught Mandy off guard. With swift movements, Jessie grabbed Mandy’s wrist and turned her around, forcing the arm behind Mandy’s back. Slamming the woman against the wall, Jessie held her there with force while looking to see if Rowan was okay. A nod from the blonde was all that she needed. “You think it’s fun to touch women when they don’t want you to?” She twisted the arm even more.

“Fuck you!” Mandy spat out, spittle flying out of her mouth.

“That’s the attitude that I’m talking about Mandy,” Jessie clucked at the woman, trying to keep from punching the bitch. She’d probably press charges, which would get Jessie into a load of trouble.

Eventually, Mandy stopped squirming against Jessie’s iron grip, panting from the effort. One of the women who had been bar backing came over, approaching the two women cautiously. “Not you again,” she said, shaking her head when she saw it was Mandy against the wall. “That’s it, you’re 86ed. I don’t want to see you hear again, you got it!” She took over the grip on Mandy’s arm, freeing Jessie from the task, and walked the woman out of the bar.

“I guess you want a thank you,” Rowan said quietly from where she stood behind Jessie.

“I don’t want anything, Rowan.” She sighed, shaking her head. In truth, the anger had just overcome her to the point that she hadn’t seen anything but her own need to hurt the woman that had touched Rowan.

A hand touched her arm and she turned to look at the other woman. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. Thank you for coming to my aid Jessie. I do appreciate it.” Rowan gave her a gentle smile that touched something deep inside and she felt the anger dissipate, a balm soothing her soul.

“You’re welcome.”

They stood there awkwardly, neither one knowing what to say. A slow song came on and Rowan decided to take her courage in hand and ask for something she was dying to have. “Will you…dance with me?” She tried not to sound like she was pleading, but in truth that was what she was doing.

Hesitating, Jessie recognized that saying yes was opening herself to something she wasn’t sure she could stop. And truthfully, she wouldn’t want to stop. She loved this woman, was in love with her, but she wasn’t ready to deal with everything that went with that. She wasn’t ready to open herself completely, in case of the rejection that could follow. There was no denying that Rowan had the complete ability to crush Jessie, and that alone was frightening. But, as she looked into Rowan’s green eyes, she was mesmerized by the longing she saw there, and a slow burn was ignited once again her abdomen.

“Yes.” It was a simple answer, but both women felt the weight it carried.

Taking Jessie’s larger hand in her own, Rowan led her to an area that they could dance in. Jessie’s arms automatically went around Rowan’s waist, pulling her closer and Rowan’s arms circled her neck. Their bodies seemed to know what to do even if their minds were cluttered and hazy. With slow movements, they began to move together, a sensually motivated dance that took away their ability to breathe and think rationally.

Losing herself to the sensations of being held by Jessie, Rowan put her head on her shoulder, edging her body closer to the other woman’s. With tenderness aligned with desire, Jessie held her closer, her hands moving in slow circles on her back.

Between them, a connection was growing stronger, creating a bond that nothing would ever be able to break. Internally, both women felt it, their hearts screaming in need, but their minds were hesitant and wary.

Slowly, the song faded, replaced by something more up beat and faster. Pulling apart, they found their hands refusing to let go. Hand in hand, they walked slowly back to the table. Dena and Jamie were still there, talking and watching people around them.

The rest of the night was spent exchanging innocent touches and smiles, talking about everything and anything under the sun. Rowan wasn’t sure what all this meant, but she was going to take the time to find out.

Despite doctor's advice and her own mother's pleas, Jessie refused to have the scar surgically covered. As the wound healed, it remained a visible reminder of what had happened. Jessie used it as a reminder of her goal to avenge the murder of Joy Colston. Every day when she looked in the mirror and saw the scar, she renewed her vows to find Don Colston and make sure that he was treated according to his crime.

Michael Moore, Mike, met with Jessie on a regular basis. Neither one had much to report to each other. Even though it was against policy, Mike made the decision to keep Jessie up-to-date on the case. He wanted her as an asset to the department, not a liability. In truth, the more time he spent with her, the more he found himself liking the woman. There was something very fundamental about her that he could relate to. He always looked forward to their meetings.

Two months after the murder, the first sign of Don Colston surfaced. A letter sent to Jessie's apartment. The letter was full of threats for her part in making Don Colston a fugitive. It went on to say that Joy Colston had been a slut and a whore, that she deserved to die for not being faithful to her husband. It was signed by Don Colston. Handwriting analysists matched the handwriting and signature with samples they'd taken from the Colston home. It was a 90% match with Don Colston.

"Do you want police protection?" Mike asked Jessie after reading the letter.

"No,” Jessie said slowly. "But, I would like someone to watch after my mother. I don't want that bastard to be able to get near her."

Nodding, Mike understood. He knew that she would never allow herself to be under police surveillance. But she would make sure those she loved were taken care of. "I'll take care of that right away. I want you to start reporting in to me everyday. If you fail to do report in even a single time, I will have an entire unit storm your apartment."

Jessie rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm serious Jess. We're not going to play games with your life, got it?" He waited until she nodded in understanding. "And you'll check in every day?"

"Yes Mike, everyday," she said with a sigh. She knew he wouldn't drop it till she consented. And maybe, just maybe, he was right.

Mike was true to his word. When Jessie went to see her mother the same afternoon she got the letter from Colston, a patrolman was already there, enjoying a cup of coffee on one of Anne's comfortable couches.

"Hey mom," Jessie called out to Anne whose back was turned to the door.

Dropping a book with a loud thud, Anne turned around. "Jesus Jess, you scared the bejesus out of me!" One hand fluttered to her heart, which threatened to pound out of her chest.

Jessie walked over and picked up the dropped book. "Why are you so jumpy?" She asked as she handed the book back.

"Why am I so jumpy?" Anne repeated incredulously. "Maybe you could tell me why I'm so jumpy!"

"Huh?" Jessie's eyebrows came together in confusion.

"This nice police man comes in here and tells me he's been told to watch the store, on your request. Says he can't tell me anymore than that." Anne pointed at the man with the book in her hand. "Naturally that's made me jumpy!" Taking a deep breath, Anne tried to get her nerves under control. "So maybe you can tell me why?"

Hopping up on the counter, Jessie folded her legs Indian style. "Do you remember that I told they didn't catch that guy who did this?" She pointed to the still puckered scar on her face.

"Of course."

"Well, apparently he's still around and has decided to focus his anger on me. I asked Mike to send someone over to watch you just in case this guy's a serious threat." Shrugging, Jessie started to get up when Anne put a hand on her leg to keep her in place.

Concerned, Anne wasn't going to let her daughter end it there. "How did he threaten you?"

"Via the Post Office."

"A letter?"

"Yup. Post marked in Madison." She raised an eyebrow in silent question.

"What kind of threats did he make?"

"Oh the usual. He threatened to hurt me, to make me suffer. Called me a bunch of bad names." She paused and thought for a moment. "Hmmm…I think he was honestly trying to hurt my feelings." Grinning rakishly at her mother, she hopped down from the counter. "May I go now?"

"Smart ass," Anne mumbled as she swatted Jessie's shoulder. "Hey, have you seen Rowan lately?" Although her voice was casual, there was a hint of bantering.

"Yeah, last night, why?"

"Just curious…” Letting her voice fade, Anne turned back around. She wasn't surprised when she felt her daughter's presence behind her.

"Mother…” Jessie drew out the word.

"Yes?" Anne asked sweetly, turning around.

"What do you have in your brilliant mind now?"

"I don't know what you mean!" Pretending shock, she started to turn around, but her daughter's strong arms prevented it. "Well, maybe Rowan said something the other day…"

Truthfully, Jessie had been seeing Rowan almost daily since she'd gotten out of the hospital. They ate dinner together, watched TV, went to movies, took walks, but everything remained on a non-sexual level. For some reason Jessie was afraid. She was afraid of what would happen if they took it further. Rowan's friendship was so important to her now that she didn't want to lose that, no matter how much she wanted to take the woman in her arms and passionately kiss her inviting lips.

Despite her resolve not to take things further, there was something else that was keeping her from acting. She still wasn't sure that it was what Rowan wanted. What if Jessie did take that step and Rowan didn't want it? That would change everything.

"Oh?" She finally replied to her mother.

"Yes." Anne put a finger to her chin, pretending to think. "Let's see…what was it she said…"

A soft growl came from Jessie, causing Anne to laugh. "Something about you moving too slow!"

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, something about you not being interested in her romantically. Apparently, she doesn't think you're attracted to her. And honey, I KNOW that isn't true. I've seen the way you look at her, the way your eyes light up when you see her." Anne tapped Jessie's chest. "So, tell me, what have you done to give her that idea?"

"I…I don't know!" Complete shocked rippled through Jessie's body.

Anne mimicked her daughter's familiar gesture by raising an eyebrow. "Think about it." Was all she said before turning back to the bookshelf.

Walking slowly out of the bookstore, Jessie allowed herself to be lost in thought. Here she had thought that she was doing Rowan a favor by not pushing herself onto the woman. It hadn't been easy to hold back her desire for Rowan. In the past two months she had grown to realize that not only did she want Rowan, but she also enjoyed the woman's company. They spent a lot of time discussing movies, books, television, the time passing quickly as they playfully argued things, each of them taking turns playing Devil's Advocate. Rowan made her think. She kept Jessie on her toes and yet there was a familiarity about her, like coming home to something very soft and comfortable.

Did Rowan really not know how Jessie felt about her? "It's not like I came out and told her or anything." Jessie reasoned out loud, ignoring the people around her who gave her strange looks. So what did she think she was accomplishing? They were friends, without a doubt. But, were they heading toward something more than that? Was she the one keeping that from happening?

She had grown comfortable with their relationship. The occasional touch from Rowan would warm her from within, while the woman's gentle voice calmed her. With Rowan, Jessie found herself laughing more, having more fun, just being carefree most of the time. It had been a long time since Jessie had allowed herself to just let go. Normally, her darkened past hung over her head more times than not.

But, these days all Jessie had to do was to think of Rowan's gently curved lips, her incredibly warm green eyes, and her soft, firm body…

"Shit!" Jessie muttered as she realized that a dumb grin had formed on her face, as her thoughts grew more descriptive.

"Do you always walk down the street swearing to yourself, or is this a new thing?"

Jessie looked up to see Rowan standing in front of her. Immediately a blush formed on her face at the same time a determination grew within her. Without actually considering her actions, Jessie got closer to Rowan, put an arm around the woman's waist, and drew her close. It only took a brief look into Rowan's eyes to know what she wanted. With a sense of desperation, Jessie found Rowan's lips with her own.

Hesitant at first, it took Rowan a second before she started to respond to Jessie's warm mouth. Her own lips opened, inviting Jessie to explore, which she did expertly. The arm around her waist tightened, drawing her closer against Jessie's firm body. Her own arms went around Jessie's neck, her hands instantly running through the woman's soft dark hair.

Any common sense that Jessie still had left her as she felt the other woman respond. She tightened her hold around Rowan's slim waist, pressing her body against her. A soft moan grew in her throat, coming out like a hungry growl. The noise vibrated through Rowan's mouth, causing a warm wave to wash over her body, her knees growing weak. Just when she thought she'd fall down, the strong arm around her tensed, holding her up.

Sparks and charges jumped from woman to woman, igniting both of them, pushing them both on. It wasn't until Jessie felt her hands starting to explore Rowan's body that she remembered they were on a crowded street.

Slowly, not wanting to, but knowing that she needed to, Jessie pulled away. She kept her hold around Rowan's waist, not willing to give up that connection yet. Rowan was in a haze as she recovered positive that she was not misreading these signs. Jessie wanted her.

"You go girls!" A female voice startled them both.

Both of them turned their heads toward the voice. A young woman with dark black hair was standing near them, giving them a grin.

"I wish I was brave enough to kiss my girlfriend like that in public!" She held her hands out in fists, her thumbs up in approval, before she continued down State Street.

Rowan and Jessie watched her for a minute before they turned to look back at each other. As if there had been some silent cue, they both started laughing. The sexual tension lessened as they continued to laugh, Rowan finally needing to lean her head against Jessie's shoulder as the laughter weakened her.

They wound down, Rowan keeping her place, not wanting to loose any contact with the other woman yet. The on-edge feelings returned, reminding them both separately of their desire for each other.

"Disgusting," a voice muttered, once again breaking the two women's concentration on each other.

Jessie saw an older man starring at them, his thoughts shown plainly in the way he looked at them. His face was wrinkled as though he'd spent too many years looking at others with abhorrence. It was like what Anne had always told Jessie when she was little. If she spent too much time hating others, it would show on her face as she got older and everyone would know that she was hateful.

"Excuse me?" Jessie spoke before she could stop herself. Really, she didn't want to get into anything with this ignorant person. Her anger would only break the moment with Rowan, and it wasn't worth it. She'd rather concentrate on the other woman than taking her long seeded anger out on this man.

His face still scrunched with loathing, the man looked as though he was having an internal struggle, trying to decide whether or not he should turn and walk away, or confront this issue. Apparently, his attitude of superiority won out because he stayed.

"You are an abomination! God will see that you go to hell for your sins against nature!" He stuck his chin out in defiance, so sure of his opinion.

Jessie was tempted to strike that very chin, to knock the self-righteousness right out of him. Taking deep breaths she tried to swallow the urge to hurt the man. ds can be weapons,sie thought as she got herself under control. Just as she was about to speak she felt Rowan move from where she was leaning against Jessie. A figure blurred toward the man, at a speed which even Jessie envied.

"I am so tired of people like you who try to tell me that just because I love someone I'm a bad person!" Rowan was standing directly in front of the man, her face turned up to his, yelling at the top of her lungs. Her hands gestured wildly through the air, coming close to striking the man, but never quite hitting him. "I love her, and because she and I are both women, that makes it unacceptable to you!

"People like you assume that because I love another woman that I'm a bad person without any morals or anything! Well, listen to me asshole! If your God can't accept the fact that I love someone, then what kind of benevolent being is he?" Her anger seemed to wind down. Backing slightly away from the man, Rowan's face took on a calm appearance. As she looked at the man she felt sorry for him. "The God I believe in is more concerned with people hurting, hating, killing, MURDERING each other than who I love." She shook her head slowly. "You don't even know me, yet you judge me. Maybe you should look at your own life and figure out what God will see there." Her steam was gone. She was tired of being angry with this man who was simply ignorant. Rowan just couldn't fight against his stupidity, no matter how much she yelled or if she hit him, pummeling him senseless.

While Rowan had yelled, the man had been stunned into silence. Now that she had stopped, he sneered and quickly walked away, muttering to himself about sinners and the way of God.

The ground under Rowan seemed to suck her energy from her. She could feel the weight of her own body being pulled toward the concrete of the street, gravity seeming to drag every molecule of her down. A heavy sigh escaped her mouth as her head hung limp. Some people would never accept. Rowan didn't expect understanding or even hope for it. She just wanted people to leave her alone. She didn't always agree with others decisions, but that was their choice. Why couldn't people respect her choices?

Just as she felt that her legs would give out from beneath her, letting her sink to the ground, into oblivion, Rowan felt a hand on her shoulder. It gave her the power to lift her head and look into sincere, warm eyes the color of the ocean on a stormy day.

"You okay?" A gentle voice filled with warmth that matched the look in the eyes met Rowan's ears and she felt her legs grow strong again.

"Yeah, I'm okay." She unconsciously leaned against the solid body behind her, taking strength from Jessie's presence. A strong arm wrapped around her waist from behind and Rowan just let herself relax. She felt completely safe, like nothing could touch her so long as Jessie's held her.

Jessie felt Rowan's need as strongly as she felt her own. And at that moment Rowan needed to be held, to feel safe and secure. Giving the other woman a few moments of silence and comfort, Jessie allowed her mind to wander. It had been amazing what she'd felt when she saw Rowan go after that man. It had been exhilarating to watch. There was no question that Rowan was her own woman. All of Jessie's worries of forcing Rowan into something she didn't want were gone. It was clear that Rowan wouldn't allow herself to be coerced into anything.

"Well, that was fun," Rowan finally said, sarcasm heavy in her tone.

"Ro, if that's your idea of fun, maybe we'd better find you some hobbies."

Grinning to herself, Rowan liked the way Jessie said we. As in the two of them.

They began walking down the sidewalk once again. Suddenly, they both stopped in mid step. Turning to each other, they both spoke at the same time.

"Did you just kiss me?"

"Did you say you loved me?"

Silence buzzed in both women's ears. Any noise from the street, from the people around them was completely blocked, their own heartbeats pounding in their ears.

"Did you say you loved me?" Jessie repeated softly, unable to keep the hope from shinning in her eyes. She didn't want to get her hopes up, but she had heard it. She knew she had. Hadn't she?

Blushing fiercely, Rowan looked at her feet, pretending to care that her shoelaces were frayed and that there was a hole forming in the front of her left shoe right over her big toe. Absently, she flexed her toe, watching her sock poke through the hole.

She didn't know how to answer Jessie's question. Truthfully, she hadn't meant to say it. She had merely meant to use the idea in general, not bring Jessie specifically into it. It was true, she loved her. She'd realized that after the dream she'd had at the hospital. It was so much more than anything sexual. It was something familiar, something so right.

But she wasn't ever going to say anything to her. In her entire life she'd never forced her attentions on anyone. She wasn't about to start now. But, when Jessie had kissed her, it had changed everything. And when she got mad, she reacted from that kiss.

"Yes," she finally said, lifting her face, unable to hide the truth from Jessie. Unable to pretend that it had been a mistake, when really it was clearly written on her heart. "Why did you kiss me?" She had to know the reason. Was it simply the moment? Had Jessie been thinking of someone else? What had provoked that?

"It was something I probably should have done a long time ago." Jessie admitted with a shrug. "It was brought to my attention that you might have gotten the wrong impression about how I felt. I'm very…" she hesitated. What should she say, that she was in love with Rowan? That was so unlike Jessie, throwing her heart out there like that. And as much as she felt it, she couldn't say it out loud, not yet. "…attracted to you. I care a lot about you," she added quickly, trying to make up for the lack of meaning in those words. The simplicity of those words didn't come close to how she actually felt.

"I'm glad you did." Rowan's soft smile said more than her words. The mere curve of her lips suggested more, causing a jolt of desire to travel through her body. Not breaking eye contact, Rowan moved closer to Jessie. One hand came out and brushed the taller woman's neck, softly caressing her. Green eyes burned into Jessie's mind, intentions clear.

They were beginning the dance, Jessie realized. The dance that passion and need made you do as it controlled your body, forcing you through the motions. With careful phrasing and deliberate eye contact, your words skirted the edge of desire. And they were doing this dance in the middle of the sidewalk on a crowded street. the best of ideas,sie realized. Easily solved.

"Do you want to come up to my apartment?" Jessie nodded her head toward her mother's store and her apartment. What she was really asking was whether or not Rowan wanted to go to bed with her. They both understood that. It had come down to that. Their desire for each other having been made clear, this was the next step. Or they could wait. Jessie was leaving the decision up to Rowan.

Nodding, Rowan made the decision that they both wanted. Taking the other woman's hand in her own, Jessie started toward the door to the left of the store. It had a flight of stairs that led up to her apartment.

Taking her keys out of her jeans pocket, Jessie unlocked the outside door. Holding the door open, she gestured for Rowan to go on through. As she passed through the door, she smelled Rowan's perfume. It was an aphrodisiac which grabbed at her, intoxicating her with need. A low growl escaped from deep in her throat and her long arms reached out and pulled Rowan close to her. When she felt Jessie's breath on the side of her neck, Rowan threw her head back, exposing her neck completely to Jessie's mouth.

Not hesitating, the dark haired woman's mouth tasted the skin on the revealed neck. Rowan moaned lightly as her breathing started getting heavy and her head got light. Strong arms held her tightly, not letting her think for even a minute that she was going to fall back. One large, slender hand played at the edge of her shirt before slipping underneath. Long fingers caressed her stomach and the skin over her ribs. Her breasts ached instantly to be touched, her nipples contracting against her clothing. It suddenly felt as though her clothing was too tight, rubbing harshly against her suddenly sensitized skin.

"I want to make love to you," Jessie whispered into Rowan's ear before she began to suck on her earlobe.

Leaning back against the woman behind her, Rowan lost all thoughts as she felt Jessie's desire. "Yes," she managed to whisper.

Together they moved up the stairs, stopping on each step for more contact. Reaching the top, Jessie felt Rowan stop suddenly in front of her.

"What's wrong?" She whispered into her ear.

"Jess, huh…" Rowan tried to finish the sentence, but was distracted by a hot mouth on her neck. this is important told herself, her brain attempting to recover the brief thought she'd lost. "Your door…it's open."

At those words, Jessie stopped what she was doing, slowly lifting her head. Her door stood slightly open. Seemingly innocent enough, she recognized it as the ominous sign it was. "Get behind me," she growled under her breath as she directed Rowan so that her own body shielded her.

"Jess?" Fear tinged Rowan's voice as she reacted to Jessie's sudden change in demeanor.

"I always lock it. There's no reason for it to be open." Her voice was calmer than she felt. "Just stay behind me, okay?"

Waiting a second, Jessie started cautiously through the door. For a split second she thought about calling the police and letting them handle this, but it was too late for that. Kicking the door the rest of the way open with her foot, she looked in the doorway.

At first glance it was clear that someone had been there. Her couch was visible through the door and the cushions were torn off the couch. Papers covered the floor, as though a cyclone had blown through, leaving this mess in its wake. While Jessie wasn't the cleanest person, she wasn't one to leave a mess like this.

Instinct told Jessie that the apartment was empty, but caution told her to proceed as though it weren't. Rowan held onto the back of Jessie's shirt with one hand, peering around the taller woman occasionally to see.

A tall lamp in the corner was on, illuminating the room. Taking in the entire room Jessie saw that it was empty and walked further in.

"Jess!" Rowan's voice hissed from behind her, a tug on her shirt getting her attention. She turned and saw what had caught Rowan's attention.

On the plain, cream colored walls someone had written "I'm watching you" in black paint.

Oookay, Jessie thought as she backed out of the apartment, herding Rowan with her. A thought suddenly hit her. "Mom!" A desperate feeling began to grow through her chest. If this maniac had been able to find her, what's to stop him from finding her mother at the bookstore?

Rowan didn't need any help understanding Jessie's train of thought. Together they hurried out of the door, turning to go into the front door of Shakespeare's Closet.

The familiar sight of Anne's blonde head bent over something on the counter made them both slow down. Taking a deep breath to calm her pacing heart, Jessie forced herself to call out. "Mom?"

Two very blue eyes looked up at the two women. "Hey girls," Anne said distractedly. "Rowan, someone came by here asking about you. She said her name was…um, Kelly, I think."

A brief thought flashed through Jessie's mind Who's Kelly? But other matters took precedent over it. "Mom, we need to use the phone."

Puzzled, Anne handed over the phone. "Sure Jess." Glancing at Rowan, she saw that she was more pale than usual. "What's wrong?"

"Michael? It's Jessie. He's back."

Flashes of light came from a camera as a Madison police officer photographed Jessie's apartment. Another officer used a fine powder to dust for fingerprints around the living room. Apparently that was the only area bothered. The bedroom and bathroom both seemed to be just as she had left them. "This was the reason I wanted surveillance on your apartment Jessie." Michael's tone was annoyingly close to condensation. He, along with Jessie, Rowan, and Anne were standing in the living room, surveying the destruction.

Attempting to keep her anger down and her voice even, Jessie clenched her teeth together as she spoke. "I admit it Michael, it was the wrong decision for me to make. You were right, I was wrong." The detective had been raving for almost a half hour now about how if she'd just listened to him in the first place, they would have already caught Colston by now.

"Excuse me, but I really don't think that blame is right at this time." In a quiet, yet no-nonsense voice, Rowan chastised the detective.

A reddish coloring grew over Michael's face, but he refused to acknowledge the woman. Instead, he turned to one of the officers helping at the scene. "Are we going to be able to prove it was him, John?"

The short, portly man who had brought the forensic equipment with him didn't hesitate in his response. "No problem Michael. We have two full left indexes on the wall where he must have touched as he wrote, and a left thumb print on the door handle to the apartment that is clear. We have the prints from the murder scene on file, so it shouldn't be difficult to match the two."

Feeling as though she were watching a scene from Law and Order, Anne almost felt the thrill of the chase before she remembered that it was her daughter who had been at threat.

"Mr. Moore," her voice shook a little as she thought about what would have happened if her daughter had decided to come home earlier while the man was still there. "Are you going to be able to catch him? Obviously he's still here in the area, but will you actually be able to stop him before he tries to kill my daughter?" Her volume rose with each word, as she became angry at the fact that they still hadn't caught the man. How dare they play with her daughter's life?

It was obvious that they were all frustrated with the investigation. Truthfully, Michael had thought that they would have had the man in custody and on trial by now. But, try as they might, they couldn't get him. Without there being any sign from him in so long, he'd begun to think that maybe Colston had left Madison for good. So much for that.

With a sigh, the detective shook his head. He didn't know what to tell them.

"Can you at least tell me how much longer it'll be before I can have my apartment back?" This was Jessie's bigger concern at this point. She hated sitting back and watching as the officers went through the stuff in her living room. Being a very private person she didn't like the idea of other people riffling through her belongings. She felt very violated as it was, but now they were violating her space a second time.

"You can't stay here tonight," Michael said.

Sticking out her chin, Jessie glared at him. "I sure as hell can!"

"NO!" Both Anne and Rowan said at the same time. They looked at each other, a hint of a smile on both their faces. With a barely noticeable bowing of her head, Rowan deferred to Anne's right as a mother. "You cannot stay here tonight! In fact, you can't stay here for awhile, at least not until this man is caught!"

"But mom…"

"I'm serious Jess, don't play around with this man. He's obviously intent on hurting you."

Rowan's mouth opened before she actually thought about what she was saying, "You can stay with me!" The silence after this statement made it obvious that she had been a little more enthusiastic than she should have been in this offer. "I have…a well, you know…a spare bedroom." A rose colored blush spread over her features.

Grinning despite herself, Jessie watched the other woman as she fumbled to explain what she meant. I'll be dammed if I stay in the spare bedroom, she thought silently.

"Wonderful idea!" Anne said, a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye.

After the police left, white powder a testimony to their presence, Jessie gathered up some clothing and toiletry items to take to Rowan's. A grin formed on her face as she thought about staying with the other woman. Very convenient overall.

"Are you almost ready?" Rowan's familiar voice floated from her living room. "I'm getting the creeps being in here where that man was."

"Hey! That's my living room you're talking about!" Jessie called back.

"Yeah, but it's still creepy!"

"Creepy?" Jessie muttered to herself, smiling. Rowan had such an adorable way of putting things. "Okay, I'm ready," she said, walking into the living room, a bag slung over her shoulder. Her eyes immediately focused on Rowan.

The smaller woman had her hands wrapped around herself and she seemed to be shivering. Not hesitating, Jessie closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around her. "Hey, you really are bothered by this, aren't you?"

Warm comfort and safety consumed Rowan as she felt herself melt into the other woman's body. "I just have this strange feeling, that's all." Her own arms involuntarily went around Jessie's waist. "Silly, huh?" She said into a shoulder.

"Not silly. Perfectly understandable really." Giving Rowan one last squeeze, Jessie let go and guided Rowan out the door. "Let's get out of here."

After closing and locking the outside door of her apartment, Jessie led them into the bookstore. Customers were browsing around and the place seemed to be pretty busy. Anne was behind the counter, ringing up a customer's purchases. She instantly lifted her head as they approached, as though she knew they were coming. Smiling, Anne nodded. "Here she is now."

The customer Anne had been ringing up turned around, looking first at Jessie, then focusing her eyes on Rowan.

Confused, Jessie was about to ask what this was about when she heard a slight gasp from the woman beside her.

"Kelly," Rowan said softly.

"Hi Rowan," Kelly said, a smile illuminating her face.

Sensing some kind of history here, Jessie studied Kelly intently. She was a tall woman with what could only be described as curves. Curly brown hair hung around her face, which wasn't what you would normally call attractive, but when she smiled, her face brightened up. Eyes a pale blue and a soft mouth were the only aspects that Jessie noticed on her face. Instead, she focused on the tense woman beside her.

While she'd been studying the other woman, Rowan had grabbed her arm in a tight grip. She could feel the tension build, like a rubber band being stretched. Turning her head to look at Rowan, she gave her a concerned look. Perceptively turning her head, Rowan looked into Jessie's eyes. The look of fear and unease melted from her eyes. Taking the woman's smaller hand in her own, Jessie squeezed it tightly.

"It's been a long time," Kelly said, her voice smooth and controlled. Giving Jessie an amused look as she took Rowan's hand, her voice deepened to almost a purr. "I see you've been busy."

"What do you want Kelly?" Rowan said through clenched teeth.

One shoulder lifted and fell as Kelly shrugged. With a smirk she raked her eyes over Rowan's form. "I just wanted to see if you were free for some fun."

Something in the way Kelly said fun angered Jessie. A feral desire to wipe the smirk off the woman's face. Something wasn't right here. Why was this bothering Rowan so much? "She's busy," Jessie growled in reply.

Moving as close to Jessie as she could, Rowan was grateful for the support. Normally, having someone answer for her would have upset her, but it seemed natural to have Jessie defend her.

Her smirked slipped for a moment before being replaced by a full out grin. "Maybe I'll run into you later then." Kelly took her bag from Anne and sauntered out the door.

A full minute passed before anyone took a breath. Even Anne was holding in anger at the way Kelly had presumed to speak to Rowan.

"Who was that…woman?" Anne finally spoke first, her eyes still focused on the door that Kelly had gone through on her way out.

"Someone from my past," Rowan said cryptically. Figuring that pushing wasn't her concern, Anne kept quiet.

Deciding that she would ask about it in private, Jessie turned to her mother. "Just wanted to let you know that we're leaving. Call if you need anything." They turned and left, still holding hands.

Tigger greeted the two women with a plaintive meow. Jessie had been spending enough time at Rowan's so that the cat accepted her without complaint.

Dropping her bad on the floor by the door, Jessie offered to help Rowan out of her coat, hanging both their coats up. With a sigh, she approached Rowan from behind, her arms naturally going around the smaller woman's waist. With a small noise she pulled her closer.

A matching sigh was released from Rowan as she leaned back against Jessie. "I'm glad you decided to stay here," she said softly. Truthfully, her reason for asking Jessie to stay with her was two-fold. First, was the obvious: she'd wanted to sleep with Jessie since the night she met her. Second, she was a little afraid of the maniac that was out there. With Jessie there, she felt safe.

"Thank you for offering," Jessie said as she began to kiss the side of Rowan's neck. It seemed so natural to be close to the other woman. She really wasn't thinking, she was just feeling.

Normally, Jessie was a player in bed. She planned every move, using her sexual prowess to seduce her lovers. Then she would leave them, moving on to the next woman.

With Rowan, however, she felt different. Almost as though it were her first time with a woman. She felt shy and charged at the same time, wanting so much to bring pleasure to the other woman. While her body was already reacting to Rowan, her hands and her lips seemed to be unsure of what to do, being guided by instinct alone, not experience.

A soft moan came from Rowan's lips as Jessie continued to kiss her neck. Her head went back, revealing more of her neck to the other woman's mouth. Never someone to ignore an opportunity, Jessie pulled Rowan tighter against her, her mouth quickly applying itself to her neck.

As her heart began to beat faster, Jessie found herself intoxicated by Rowan. Her soft skin, her inciting perfume, all adding to create an aphrodisiac more powerful than any she had experienced before. Her own breathing became ragged as she moved the two of them toward the bedroom. Normally, she wouldn't hesitate to make love to someone on the floor, but this was Rowan. The floor was not good enough.

Her mind clouded with desire, Rowan was aware that they were moving. She wanted to turn in the other woman's arms and press herself fully against her, but Jessie held her tight. All she could concentrate on was the feeling of the lips on her neck, biting and licking the sensitive skin there, leaving her breathless.

"Jessie," she moaned softly, her voice heavy with need. Not new to desire, Rowan knew that this was something above and beyond anything she'd ever known. This wasn't just passion, or desire, it was completely superior to those emotions. It was a need, an ache inside of her that could only be filled by Jessie.

Finally making her way through the bedroom door, Jessie didn't bother to turn the light on. She simply led the smaller woman to the bed, turning her and seating her on the bed in one quick movement. Kneeling between Rowan's legs, Jessie's mouth instantly went to her mouth. The taste of her mouth was now familiar, but she never got tired of it.

Her arms around Rowan's waist, she pulled the woman close, her hands slowly going under Rowan's soft shirt. Warm skin glided under her hands, softness unlike anything she'd felt before overwhelming her senses completely.

Two mouths crashed against each other, each vying for control. Tongues clashed, thrusting into warm caverns filled with soft, velvet textures.

Rowan's control was on the edge when Jessie took her bottom lip into her mouth, sending her over the brink. Grabbing the bottom of Jessie's shirt, she pulled it up, breaking their kiss for an instant to lift it over her head.

Before resuming their kiss, Rowan took in the woman before her. With sure movements, she reached around and unhooked Jessie's bra, taking a deep breath as she removed the final barrier. Before her were two perfect breasts, full and heavy. Steadying her hands, she reached out and gently cupped Jessie's breasts, moaning softly as her touch became more firm.

"Rowan, you're driving me insane!" Jessie hissed between her teeth. Before Rowan realized what had happened, Jessie had her shirt off and was unbuttoning her jeans. "I want to see you," she demanded. Within seconds, Rowan's clothing was on the floor, joined by Jessie's.

With one hand on Rowan's shoulder, Jessie gently pushed her down onto the bed. Gazing down, she took in the sight of Rowan, breathing deeply, almost as though she could breath in Rowan's essence. "You're a beautiful woman," she said without thinking. It was true. The woman laying on the bed before her was gorgeous.

Her breathing already ragged, Rowan's voice caught in her throat when she heard Jessie's words. As they were said, she actually felt beautiful. Never before had she heard such honesty in one person's voice. Trembling as blue eyes focused on her, she spoke from need without thinking. "Please Jessie, please touch me."

Large hands with long, slender fingers gently brushed over Rowan's face, tracing the contours, slowly moving lower. The fingers trembled slightly as they traced moist, succulent lips. Reacting from instinct, Rowan's tongue lashed out, licking the fingers which willingly followed it into her mouth. Sucking and biting, her body responded, flowing with the waves of desire that were quickly filling the room, hitting both women with a pulsating beat.

Quickly, Jessie replaced her fingers with her mouth, pressing hard against Rowan, their bodies meeting and instantly melting together. Fitting like two interlocking jigsaw puzzle pieces, their bodies moved together. Hips thrashed against hips, breasts mashed into breasts as mouths fought to overtake one another.

Sliding slightly off the other woman, Jessie's hand began to roam over Rowan's body, her mind memorizing each inch. Gliding over breasts that were full and firm, gently squeezing nipples that were already hard, her hand passed slowly over a stomach that was slightly rounded before coming to rest between two muscular thighs.

In truth, Jessie was almost oblivious to Rowan's pleasure, finding her own in just touching the other woman. It was like they had combined into one person and the pleasure was both being given and received by that one person. It was exhilarating to hear Rowan's moans combine with her own as her body reacted along with hers. Never had Jessie experienced anything as arousing and sensual as what was happening to her as she touched Rowan.

With sensual, yet precise movements, she found her goal, Rowan's quick intake of breath reassuring her. Unable to contain her own desire, she quickly brought Rowan to the edge of pleasure, letting her teeter there before finally giving her the release that sent her over.

Her mind went blank as her body came alive, feeling only Jessie's touch, she flew into the arms of pleasure. As though an electric current were being sent through her body, she convulsed with each wave of orgasm. One final strong pull caused her body to tense as she yelled "Jessie" and then relaxed into the bed.

Slowing her touch, Jessie pulled away carefully while pulling Rowan to her. Strong arms held the trembling woman tightly while she placed soft kisses over her face.

Thought was slow to come back to her as her body recovered from the infusion of sensation. As her blood receded from her nerve endings, the feeling in Rowan's body slowly came back. She wasn't sure what had affected her more, Jessie's touch or hearing the other woman's own passion rising. Without words being passed between them, Rowan knew that Jessie had come with her. As though giving Rowan pleasure had given her pleasure as well.

Both women drifted within their pleasant haze, each aware that her body was pressed into the other's, each taking satisfaction in that.

With an immense feeling of familiarity, Rowan's head nestled into Jessie's neck. Her lips found smooth, soft skin and began to tenderly place kisses which gradually aroused Jessie's senses.

"Hmmmm, Ro, what are you doing?" Her normally guttural voice had grown huskier, sounding now like a terrific purr. "God woman!" She moaned as a particularly sensitive part of her neck was nipped at.

A blonde head lifted off her chest and two very green eyes twinkled at her. "Something I've wanted to do since I met you," came the reply just before a warm, soft pair of lips surrounded one of Jessie's nipples.

It took all of Jessie's willpower to not flip Rowan over and take her again. The more she reacted to her touch the more she wanted to touch her back. But rather than take over, as was her nature, she relaxed her body and let the sensations Rowan was invoking course through her body. Her eyes fluttered shut as the other woman's mouth continued to make love to her breasts and her hands wandered over her body. It was as though they'd made love before. Rowan seemed to know exactly how to touch her, her hands sure and her mouth bold.

As she continued to raise Jessie's level of passion, Rowan felt hers rise as well. Now she understood what had happened to Jessie when she made love to her. It was as though Rowan's own need was being met by simply touching the other woman. It was incredible and completely amazing.

Intense passion and an intense bond flowed through both women, as first one, then the other cried out. Two bodies pressed together as they held on tightly to each other.

As breathing returned to normal and heart rates slowed, neither woman moved from the comfort of their position. The air had taken on a new quality, beyond the sensual scent of arousal and passion, almost as though something in the universe had hanged upon the minute these two women made love.

Floating through the thick haze, Jessie felt herself smiling into Rowan's hair. When was the last time she'd felt this good? The thought put a serious tone to her mind set. Had she ever felt so good? Running through her memories, she found that she had never felt anything like this before. Nothing in her past compared to the simple happiness she was feeling now.

"Are you okay?" Rowan's voice came at her slowly.

Pulling back so that she could look into familiar eyes, she smiled. "I'm more than okay."

"Just wondering, your eyebrows were scowly."

"Scowly?" Jessie raised her eyebrows. "Is that a word?"

"Sure, I just made it up," said Rowan smugly.

Laughing softly, Jessie reached a hand behind Rowan's neck and pulled her lips to her hers. Nibbling lightly on soft lips, her tongue slowly traced the outside of Rowan's mouth before dipping inside and finding her tongue. Rowan pressed her hips against Jessie, her thigh slipping between the other woman's legs. Slowly, she rubbed against Jessie, her pace steady and consistent, only stopping for a moment when she felt a muscular thigh bend and rub against her own center.

Mouths clashed against each other in the persistently growing passion. Jessie grabbed Rowan's hips above her and increased the woman's thrusts, matching the movement of her own hips. And together, as one, they passed over the threshold of passion and desire, each filled with pleasurable sensations as their bodies trembled and twitched with electric surges.

Completely lost in each other, they laid in bed, sleep overcoming them. Legs and arms entwined, their bodies flushed, the rest was deep and all consuming.

It was too perfect, Jessie decided. She’d woken up and although in a strange bed, she felt strangely at home and content. It had taken her body a few minutes to realize that there was a warm presence in bed with her. She’d turned her head and saw Rowan sprawled form on top of her, actually covering most of her body. A soft snore came from the still woman and warm sunlight bathed her body. It was the most perfect, touching, and wonderful sight she’d ever seen. And it was here, in her arms. I love Sundays!

If anyone had been watching they’d have seen a tender, almost sweetly innocent, smile cross Jessie’s face. The sunlight created a surreal affect as it combined with the shadows of the darkened room. Like us, she thought to herself. “Light and dark,” she finished out loud.

“Dark…dark..dark…” Rowan mumbled in her sleep as she tried to burrow deeper into Jessie. Long fingers stroked Rowan’s soft hair until she settled down again and slept peacefully.

“I wonder if you have any clue what you’re getting yourself into,” Jessie said very softly, not wanting to wake the woman, but needing to hear the words in the air, not just in her head, making it more real.

A louder snore came from the still sleeping woman, followed by a murmur. “Was that me?” An extremely sleepy voice came from the head on Jessie’s chest.

“Huh?” Brought out of her reverie, Jessie smiled at the waking woman.

“I thought I heard a snore…was that me?” The waking woman sounded confused, but so very sweet.

“Sorry Ro, that was definitely you.”

“Oh no!” Sounding completely dismayed, Rowan’s tousled head moved back and forth in dismay.

An honest, deep laugh came from Jessie as the other woman continued her antics. “I can’t snore!” Rowan protested. “It’s not in me, I swear!” Knowing that she was acting silly, she didn’t want to stop if that meant that Jessie’s laughter would stop. The laugh touched Rowan and warmed her body much like the effect Jessie’s touch had on her.

“Whatever..you..may..say,” Jessie paused to catch her breath. “Whatever you may say, it was you, Ro.”

Suddenly, an agile form jumped onto the bed, startling both women. “Tiger!” Rowan gasped, her hand holding her heart. Eyes narrowing, she pointed an accusing finger at the cat. “You! You were snoring!” She gave the other woman a triumphant look. “See! It wasn’t me! Tiger’s famous for his snoring!”

“Uh huh, whatever you say.”

Loud purring was heard by both as Jessie reached out and absently stroked Tiger. Neither woman said anything, they just lay there, enjoying the feel of being in each other’s arms.

Unfortunately, the telephone rang, disturbing their peace. “Hello?” Rowan picked up the phone, so relaxed that she didn’t even check the caller i.d. as she normally did. She was quiet as she listened to the person on the other end of the phone. “How did you get this number?” Her voice turned demanding, the peace quickly gone, replaced by a harsher tone.

Raising an eyebrow, Jessie gave her a concerned look, but the other woman didn’t look her way, her own eyes clouding over.

“Don’t call here again!’ Rowan hissed into the phone before defiantly hitting the button that turned the phone off. With a toss, she threw the phone onto a nearby chair.

“Should I ask?” Outwardly, Jessie appeared casual, but within she was toiling with the fact that she wanted to know what had upset her friend so much.

“Kelly.”

That really was all that she had to say. That mysterious part of Rowan’s life that Jessie had many questions about. She hadn’t wanted to push earlier, wanting to wait until they were alone. And then, once they were alone…well…it just wasn’t a good time to ask about this possessive woman who seemed to know Rowan very well. It wasn’t her style to mention past lovers while making love.

Seemingly lost in thought, Rowan absently began to caress Jessie’s naked hip, her hand lightly tracing over and back, sending gentle jolts of pleasure through her. Whoa, won’t get anywhere like this! Jessie thought to herself. Taking Rowan’s hand in hers, she lightly kissed her knuckles. “Do you want to talk about it?” The casual thing was hard to keep up, but Jessie didn’t want to appear overbearing or pushy.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Rowan shook her entire body and let out a loud growl. Jessie almost laughed, reminded as she was of a wet dog, but choose not to.

“I’m sorry Jess, it’s not exactly a fond memory.” Pausing, her eyebrows came together as she fought invisible demons. “I don’t…listen,” she turned to the other woman, grasping her hands. “I really feel that we…that is, you and I…have something special here. I love you, Jessie. I don’t know if I want to air all my dirty laundry before we really get started. Does that make sense?”

While Rowan had said the three taboo words already, it still sparked something inside Jessie when she said it again. Gathering her in her arms, Jessie squeezed her tightly. “I understand what you are saying, but there are times when things come out and haunt us and we have to deal with that.” Looking deeply into the green eyes of her lover, she softly stroked her face. “I want to help you if I can.”

It was a proverbial rock and hard place for Rowan. While she sensed sincerity in Jessie’s words, she didn’t want to frighten her away with unsavory memories. And in addition to that, the reappearance of Kelly really was bothering her. She’d thought…well, it wasn’t important what she thought. Kelly was back. And Kelly was not the kind of person to fade away if unwanted. No, she’d bite and not let go, like a ferocious dog.

“It’s nothing big,” she finally replied. The tender touch on her face didn’t stop and she allowed herself to lean into it, the caress going deeper than the surface.

“Then why is it getting to you?” And expert at hiding, Jessie knew that she was being deeply distributed by the reappearance of this mystery woman.

“Damn good question,” Rowan laughed lightly. Why did it bother her? It was the past, right? “Kelly…she…used me for sex. For three years.” Tears actually filled her eyes as she remembered the pain of that particular betrayal. “I…did things for her because I thought I was in a relationship based on faith and love.” The tears slowly dropped from her eyes, gaining speed down her cheeks, hitting Jessie’s hand. “But, she was just using me.”

And that was barely touching on what had actually happened. It had been a mixture of sexual need and acceptance, coalescing into a game of power and control, which Rowan found herself losing. There had been a handful of times when Kelly convinced her to allow a third woman into their bed. Shame thickly coursed through her as she again heard the pity and disdain in Kelly’s voice when she told her what had really been happening. “She…um, would bring other women in and I found out later that they had paid to have sex with me. I thought…I thought I was doing something to please Kelly, my partner. But, really, she was making money out of my loyalty.”

It was too much for Rowan. She quickly moved away from Jessie, hiding her face in her hands, sobs shaking her body with their intensity. The shame, the pain of being used and not knowing it, of trusting someone who violated that trust, all came back to her beating against her like waves on the sand.

Emotions like none she’d ever felt went through Jessie. There was a burning fire in her chest, caused by the anger she felt for Rowan. Then there was the ache in her soul that wanted nothing more than to erase the pain and heartache she not only heard in the woman’s voice, but also felt. Yes! She felt the pain radiating from Rowan, consuming them both, washing over them time and again, never ceasing and never slowing.

“Goddamn it!” Jessie finally exploded, her fist flying into the wall above the headboard of the bed. The plaster buckled under the force, leaving almost an imprint of her hand where it had hit. A dull pain in her knuckles, she recognized the futility of hitting inanimate objects, and yet, unexplainably the action helped clear her mind.

Focusing on Rowan, she realized that the woman had curled into a ball and was rocking herself. Shit, I should have noticed! Jessie thought to herself angrily.

“Rowan?” She reached out to comfort the other woman only to have her moan and try to get away. “Rowan, snap out of it! Baby, I need you to snap out of it.” The rocking stopped, but she still didn’t look up. “Look at me Rowan, look at me.” Slowly, the blonde head moved and green eyes hesitantly focused on her own. Locking gazes, Jessie reached out and gently cupped Rowan’s cheek. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“You aren’t…disgusted?” Fear of being rejected laced Rowan’s thoughts, irrationally making her feel physically ill.

“Yes!” Was the harsh reply, which thrusted through her like a knife to her heart.

“I knew it,” she muttered to herself, backing away from the woman on her bed, blindly heading toward the door. Suddenly she realized that she was still naked, and feeling her shame intensify, she grabbed for any clothing she could find on her way to the door.

“Where are you going?” Jessie demanded, thoroughly confused.

“I have…I have to leave. I can’t stay here…can’t stay…you..you..” She couldn’t finish, her arms reaching for the doorknob.

Moving quickly, Jessie got to the door before Rowan’s hand descended upon the handle. “I, what?” Putting a finger under Rowan’s chin, she forced her to make eye contact.

“How can you still want to be in the same room with me? Knowing…what I just told you?” Rowan couldn’t even say it again, the pain a dull throb in her heart, every now and again spiking in extreme and agonizing pain.

“Whoa! Wait just a minute, you didn’t let me finish!” She waited until she had the other woman’s full attention. “Yes, I am disgusted.” Again green eyes fell in dismay. “Disgusted that anyone could do that to you!” This time relief flooded Rowan’s face as she heard what was being said.

“You mean that you don’t…don’t hate me?”

“How could I hate you? I love you!” Strong arms enfolded the blonde, crushing her against a warm, naked, and incredibly soft chest. Unable to stop herself, Rowan leaned into Jessie, her ear picking up on the subtle heartbeat beneath it.

“Why do you think she’s back now?” Her voice was hesitant as she asked, not wanting to cause Rowan more pain, and yet needing to get some answers so that she could handle the situation.

Shrugging within the embrace, Rowan mumbled into Jessie’s chest. “Because she wants me back. She wants to use me again.” She had been very good at the games Kelly liked to play.

It was more than painfully obvious that Rowan didn’t want any part of what Kelly had in mind. Jessie remembered now the words that Kelly had used “I just wanted to see if you were free for some fun." Fuming, she thought of many different ways to hurt Kelly, to show her a whole different kind of ‘fun’.

“How would you like us to handle this?”

The use of the word ‘us’ wasn’t lost on Rowan. Her eyes still wet with tears, Rowan looked into Jessie’s face, seeing for the first time the determination and…something else. Love. “I want her to leave us the hell alone.” Just saying us instead of me added to the growing warmth in her chest. “I don’t know how she got this number, it’s unlisted because of her.”

“Does she know where you live?”

“Yes, unfortunately.” She saw something brief flicker across Jessie’s eyes. “She has never actually been here. When we got together, I moved in with her, renting out the house to college students.” Once again Rowan buried her head against the sweet smelling skin of Jessie’s neck.

Silently, Jessie lifted the smaller woman in her arms and carried her back over to the bed where just hours before they had made love for the first time. The smell of their passion still hung in the air, thickening it as it densely swirled from the movement of the ceiling fan. Gently she laid down the precious woman. Her eyes couldn’t help but flicker over the naked body before she laid herself down, half on top of the other woman, half on the bed. Rowan’s arm circled her body and held her closer as her face rested on Rowan’s shoulder. It was completely sensual and yet not overtly sexual. The tense need was still there, chased onward by the contact of skin on skin, but with that came the soft reassurances they gave each other and the tenderness of just caressing each other slowly to flame the desire just to be close.

The gentle snores that Jessie had woken up to soon were heard again as Rowan fell back to sleep. Jessie propped her head up with her hand and starred at the beautiful face beneath her. Sleep took away the creases of stress and worry, but the marks of the tears shed were still evident around her eyes. A luscious, full mouth moved slightly as the breath moved in and out, almost demanding to be kissed. Jessie obliged, her own mouth resting light on the edge of Rowan’s lips, kissing tenderly.

I’ve killed people over drugs and money. I’ve used women and thrown them away without a thought. And yet she was worried that I would find her disgusting. The revelation brought not only anger to Jessie, but fear as well. There would come a point when she would have to tell Rowan about her past, about the unsavory and horrific things she had done. How would she react? Would she be able to see past it? Was there really anything past it?

It was with these heavy thoughts that Jessie finally found sleep. But her dreams were troubled with demons from her past, with the twist of her present. And in her nightmaric dreams she found herself only able to scream one thing. ROWAN!!!!!

The next day was Monday and it brought back reality. Rowan had classes to go to and Jessie had to get back to her office. The alarm clock had grudgingly been set the night before and promises had been made to not keep each other up. But, hands being what they are, the promise was hard to keep. Stray caresses lead to more heated moments from which they tried to quickly back away from before they got burnt.

When the alarm sounded at 7 am they had only gotten 4 hours of sleep. The first to wake to the buzzing noise, Jessie was reluctant to pull herself away from the warm body wrapped in her arms. At some point, when they’d finally fallen asleep, she’d curled her body around the smaller woman, her arms firmly around her. Soft hair brushed her arm and a warm breath hit her skin as the other woman breathed in and out.

But, as alarms tend to do, the buzzing refused to stop on its own and even seemed to grow louder in the otherwise silent house. With a growl, Jessie extended her already lanky body, her hand almost reaching the snooze button, but not quiet making it. Vengeance on that piece of modern machinery was going to be sweet. Untangling herself from Rowan, she finally turned the alarm off with a sigh of relief. The noise was beginning to really eat at her brain.

Standing up, Jessie stretched her naked body, working the kinks out with light popping noises. Turning around, she looked at the woman still sleeping in the bed. Face pressed against a pillow, Rowan’s sensual lips were slightly parted as she slept. Unable to resist, Jessie leaned over and started to kiss those lips. At first they didn’t respond, but then with a low moan those very lips began to kiss her back. The innocence with which Jessie had begun the kiss was completely sent to hell when Rowan’s tongue slipped into her mouth.

Holy Jesus! Her brain was on overload as the smaller woman completely turned the tables and over took her senses. Small hands began to travel up and down her body, causing her nerve endings to fire an immediate response to her brain.

Thoughts of classes and students were far from Rowan’s mind as she assaulted the other woman’s mouth and body. God Jessie, your body is so delicious! She couldn’t seem to get enough, constantly wanting her hands on her, constantly wanting to feel that smooth, soft skin.

Dizzying minutes flew by as the exploration continued. Too soon, far too soon, the alarm sounded again and Jessie regretted hitting snooze rather than turning the damn thing off! Rowan stopped her hands and her mouth, but didn’t move away as Jessie hit the button yet again. Blue met green and they both got lost in the other, their thoughts working as though with the help of mirrors. Work was the only thing that kept them from jumping back into that warm, soft, comfortable bed together. Excuses ran through each of their thoughts, reason to not go to work, to call in sick, to just hibernate.

“But, we can’t,” Jessie finally said out loud to their silent conversation.

“I know. But I don’t have to like it.”

Laughing, the taller woman reluctantly let go of her hold and looked around for the bag with her clothes.

“It’s still in the living room,” Rowan smirked as she realized that the leggy woman would have to walk naked through the house to get to her clothes.

Raising a dark eyebrow, Jessie smirked back and walked boldly out the bedroom door. A warm laughed rang through the house, filling air that had been still for so long.

“Jessie Blackwell speaking.” The phone had rung the minute that Jessie stepped into her moderately organized office.

“Such a professional sounding voice! It does a mother’s heart good to hear such a thing!” Her mother’s voice was warm and full of laughter. Seldomly had she heard her mother sound otherwise. Anne always seemed to find that proverbial rainbow in life.

“Hi mom.” Smiling into the phone, she almost laughed. Figures that her mother would call first thing Monday morning. She wants to know all the dirt, huh? Let’s see if we can play a little game with mom, she thought evilly. “Sorry I didn’t call you from Rowan’s to give you the number there.”

“Oh, that’s okay, I’m sure you were…” she let the sentence hang before she finished it, “…busy.”

“Not really. I spent a lot of time out, shopping and stuff.” The laughter was threatening to bubble up as there was a stunned silence on the other end.

“Shopping?” Anne croaked out in a hoarse voice.

“Yeah, I thought I needed some new clothes for work.” Oh God, save me on this one cause mom’s going to kill me!

“Oh.”

“So, how was your weekend?”

“Fine, fine. Uh, I’ve got a customer, got to go.”

Even as she heard the click followed by dial tone the laughter finally was allowed to spill over. “Maybe that will teach you mom!”

Hanging up the phone swiftly, Anne stared at it long after she had put it back. “What the heck is going on?” She said aloud to the moderately crowded bookstore. A few heads looked up from browsing, but most ignored her. “The went to her house and I don’t hear or see either of them for two days.” Puzzled, she scratched her head absently. “Was I wrong? Did I misread those signs?” Absently, Anne began to put books on shelves, talking to herself the entire time.

When she arrived back at Rowan’s house after work, Jessie realized that Rowan hadn’t come back yet. “Guess that defeats the ‘honey I’m home’ thing,” she said to Tigger as she put her briefcase on the floor, out of the way. Petting the cat briefly on the head, she headed to Rowan’s bedroom to change her clothes.

“I wonder if I should move my stuff to the spare room?” She slowly began to unbutton her shirt, absently thinking of the woman she’d fallen in love with. Snorting at this, she began to speak out loud again. “Who would have thought that I would fall in love?” Tigger meowed in response, rubbing up against her leg for attention. Slipping out of the shirt, she took off her pants and hung them both back on hangers. Walking over to the full size mirror, she looked at herself critically.

She didn’t look any different then she had when she had left Chicago. Her body was still toned and hard with muscle, while remaining curvy around the breasts and hips. Broad shoulders and back tapered down to a slim waist, then flared out at her hips, curving into firm thighs, then slimming down to well defined lower legs and ankles, ending in feet that were a little bigger than average size, but which suited her frame. It was all familiar, looking as it always did, and yet, Jessie felt different. She felt that her body should respond to this change in her life, but it hadn’t.

But then, she looked into her eyes and she saw it there. A changed HAD occurred and it showed in her eyes. The cold blue had an added warmth now that had never been there before. Stepping closer, she stared at her own eyes for what felt like hours, as if she could see into her soul if she looked hard enough.

“She is my soul.” The realization came with a shock, cause a shiver to run up her spine. “I need to tell her,” she said sadly, knowing that once Rowan found out about her past, she might not want to continue. Hitting the wall by the mirror with her hand, Jessie damned herself. “I should have told her sooner, I shouldn’t have let her fall in love with me without knowing!” Over and over she hit the wall, blessed pain growing up her arm. It was better than the pain and fear she felt in the center of her chest.

For the first time in a very long time, Rowan arrived home to someone else already being there. She’d never had a lover live with her in this house, but she had had roommates from time to time while she was going to school. While it had been lonely to come home to a house empty but for her precocious cat, it had been easier than letting anyone into her inner sanctum. First her parents and then Kelly had taught her that love could not be without pain. Too often finding pain and betrayal in those she trusted, she decided to forego the pain again and keep her lovers for a short time, never letting them stay around long enough to penetrate her heart.

However, as she hung her keys on the small rack by the door, she found herself warmed instantly at the sounded of Jessie’s voice in the kitchen. Smells of something delicious were wafting from that same room, drawing her instantly there.

“Hi,” she said shyly as she poked her head into the kitchen, visibly startling the dark-haired woman.

“Hey there,” Jessie said back, a smile lightening her face. “Come here,” she commanded lightly as she saw Rowan’s hesitance.

Her feet moving of their own volition, Rowan found herself standing in front of Jessie, her arms immediately going around the taller woman in an embrace. Returning the hug, Jessie’s mouth sought Rowan’s in a welcoming, electrifying kiss.

Pulling back after a few moments, leaving them both breathless, Jessie whispered softly, “Honey, I’m home.”

“What?” Rowan murmured, a smile on her face as she looked into the blue eyes she found so appealing.

“Nothing.” She held onto the smaller woman for a few minutes longer before reluctantly pulling away. Feeling suddenly shy and awkward, Jessie turned back to the stove. “I made dinner. Why don’t you go change into something comfortable? By the time you get back, it should be done.”

Trying to peek over Jessie’s shoulders, Rowan realized that the woman had an advantage with her height. “Okay, I’ll be back in a minute.” Hesitating, Rowan wanted to say something to her, but instead she turned and left.

Walking into her bedroom, her mind was occupied by the strange vibes she’d been receiving from the other woman. There was something on Jessie’s mind, that much was obvious to her. But what? Was she regretting sleeping with her? Rowan hoped not. She’d spent all day thinking about Jessie and their lovemaking over the weekend. It had seemed like she’d finally found that niche where she belonged when she was with Jessie. Almost like she’d been giving the last piece to a puzzle she was never able to complete before.

Quickly Rowan discarded her clothes, tossing them on the armchair in the bedroom and putting on a pair of sweat pants and a long baggy sweater. She was determined to get to the bottom of Jessie’s problem and do everything that she could to keep this woman in her life. She’d be damned if she’d let her get away.

It took all of Jessie’s willpower to keep from following Rowan into the bedroom. She close to being naked and I’m missing it, she whined to herself. Having made a promise to herself to talk to Rowan tonight, she knew that if she touched her then her resolve would be gone and all that she would be able to think about clearly would be the woman she wanted so badly to make love to.

Dishing out spaghetti from a large pot on the stove, she then covered the noodles with sauce and put them on the small kitchen table. Two forks, knives and napkins shortly followed. By the time Rowan got back, Jessie was just waiting, leaning against the counter in contemplation. Pressing her body into Jessie’s, Rowan gave her a gentle hug. “Why don’t we sit down, eat this delicious food, and you can tell me what’s on your mind.”

Blinking in surprise, Jessie opened her mouth to speak. Warm, soft fingers covered her lips. “No, it’s okay. I’ll listen to whatever you have to say and then you will listen to me.”

Nodding silently, Jessie pulled out a chair for Rowan to sit in, taking the other one for herself. They were quiet as they began to eat their food, with only comments about passing the Parmesan cheese and Rowan’s praise for the sauce.

Finally, once Jessie had eaten as much as she could, not tasting the food at all, she put down her fork and wiped at her mouth with her napkin. “What I need to say is not easy for me. And, I’m sure it will be difficult to hear as well.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “But, I promised myself the day that I realized that I was in love with you that I would tell you before things went too far.” Giving the blonde a sardonic grin, they both realized that over the weekend was when things had gone too far. “I love you and I don’t want anything to jeopardize whatever future we may have. However, I might do so in what I am about to tell you.”

When Rowan realized that Jessie was not trying to give her the brush off, she was elated. However, the gravity of her words filled her with trepidation, vying with the knowledge that she loved this woman before her with all her heart. Putting down her own fork, she shoved her plate away from her, giving Jessie her full attention.

“I grew up in Madison, as you may know.” She looked to Rowan for confirmation, and after receiving it, she continued. “I was what you would call a trouble teen. Into drugs and guns, doing things that would have shocked most people on a daily basis. But, I wasn’t stupid. I never missed school and I never let it affect my grades. I graduated at the top of my class, and was accepted to all the colleges I applied to. However, by that time I had used my brains and my connections to begin to sell drugs rather than take them. I went to the University of Chicago, my education funded by the money I made from selling drugs. I dealt mostly in coke, but I also sold lighter things like pot and PCP.”

She took a chance to take a breath and look at Rowan to gauge her reaction. So far, the woman was still listening, her facial expression not revealing anything.

“Once in Chicago, my horizons were broadened by the larger drug rings there. I quickly found myself rising within the organization, my ruthlessness and desire to be in control leading me further than most people. I watched as those around me fell by the wayside to my own drive. I continued with college during the day, while my nights were spent first working the streets and then controlling the streets.

“After graduating, I stayed in Chicago, continuing to secure my right to lead by working on it full time. 8 years after I got there, I became the most powerful drug lord in Chicago at the time. I ran an organization of over 50 men, all of them doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I used people, I killed people, I sold drugs to those that were helplessly hooked on the brief moments of numbing pleasure they could get from it.”

Rowan’s face was now filled with uncertainty, her eyes looking troubled. Jessie felt a pain stab into her as she realized that she might lose this precious woman.

“Six months before I met you, I was in the prime of my career. I had proven time and again through acts that lacked humanity that I was not someone to be messed with. But, it all changed with one little girl.” Tears were now streaming down Jessie’s face as she felt the pain that she’d not ever let herself feel. “I had been betrayed by someone who worked for me. His carelessness led to an investigation by the Chicago PD, an investigation that even the cops on my pay role couldn’t help me with. I lost valuable business because of his slip up, and I was going to make sure that he paid for his transgressions. He was going to die for what he had done.

“The men with me were nervous that night. Tension was high. This was one of their own who was going to be executed. We took him to a condemned apartment complex, tied him in the basement and I held the gun to his head. Before I could shoot him, something came out of the corner and one of my men panicked. He fired. Three times.” The tears continued a steady trail down her cheeks, but her eyes had taken on a far away look as she remembered her nightmares, which never let her forget what had happened that night.

“It was a little girl. I guess she’d been hiding in the corner…she came out and…we killed her. I killed her…” Jessie couldn’t finish. This was the first time that she’d told anyone what had happened, the first time that she’d voiced the tragedy that had stolen her bravado out from under her. Tears made her choke with anger and pain.

Rowan couldn’t stand to watch it anymore. She got up and knelt on the floor in front of Jessie, pulling the woman to her in a tight embrace. The sobs racked through Jessie’s body, her tears wetting Rowan’s shirt, her hands grasping the other woman in a strong hold, needing the comfort of another person.

Finally, after the tears had worn out, refusing to fall anymore, Jessie pulled back. Rowan looked at her, green eyes filled with sympathy and concern. Jessie had never thought that she’d see such tenderness reflected at her.

“I…I…left. I couldn’t do it anymore. Every time I turned around I saw that girl’s face.” She paused before whispering, “I still do.” Exhaustion filled her and she slumped in her chair. “I don’t expect you to want to stay with me. I don’t expect you to want to be with someone who’s not only a former drug dealer, but also a murderer. I don’t expect-“

Rowan stopped her from continuing by kissing her softly on the mouth, tasting the tears that had coursed over Jessie’s face. “Have you told me everything you needed to tell me?” Rowan finally spoke, her voice soft and gentle.

Nodding, Jessie couldn’t seem to summon the energy to speak.

“I am not God, Jessie. I am not a judge or a jury. I will not judge you for what you have done in the past. And I refuse to take that role.” She lifted Jessie’s chin with her fingers, wanting the woman to look at her as she spoke. “You are the only one who can decide your fate. Are you going to spend the rest of your night punishing yourself? Or are you going to allow yourself to be happy?”

They were both quiet, staring into one another’s eyes. “You need to decide for yourself Jessie. I don’t care about your past. Did you really think me that naïve? I knew you were hiding something from that first day. I did my research. Did you know that there are over 457 different articles about you online?” The surprise in Jessie’s eyes made Rowan smile. “Yup, there are. And I read every single one of them.”

Speechless, Jessie just gaped at Rowan. She had known this entire time! And she’d still slept with her!

“And I want to be with you. I want to be with you for as long as I can. I love you.”

The tears that Jessie had thought had been dried up came back, flooding her eyes as she swept Rowan into her arms. Happiness filled her as she buried her face in Rowan’s hair and wept. In all her childhood and adulthood, Jessie had never cried as she did right then.

Always keeping her emotions bottled tightly inside of her, she found herself not only crying in relief, but also for the pain of the last 30 years. She was crying for the innocence she’d lost to the hands of drug dealers and for the childhood she’d taken from others. And, in the end, she was crying for the life of that young child that had been taken before her very eyes. What would she have become? What dreams did the child have that would never materialize?

Dark waves of anguish crashed upon her, countered only by the light she saw in Rowan. It was a war between the two forces, with the light winning, but only for that moment in time. However, it was enough to hold back the darkness which promised to return on another day.

Long after Rowan’s light snores penetrated the night, Jessie laid in bed next to her, watching the woman sleep. An errant wisp of hair curled over Rowan’s forehead as she slept and with a tender touch Jessie nudged it back to join the rest of her hair. Her fingers strayed and traced Rowan’s rounded cheek, enjoying the softness of her skin. Tightening her hold on the sleeping woman, she sighed happily to herself.

Rowan had surprised her that night. Her fears had been without foundation. Rowan knew and still loved her. The emotion that Jessie felt at this knowledge was making her head light, swirling with thoughts and happiness. Having never told anyone her entire story, Jessie felt a new found freedom with the sharing of her life. How appropriate that it was Rowan she was sharing with? Rowan, her exact opposite. The dark versus the light, Rowan didn’t seem phased by the shadows around Jessie. Instead, she embraced both Jessie and her shadows, loving them both without care or second thoughts.

Smiling, Jessie kissed her lover’s forehead, noticing that the lock of hair she’d pushed back earlier had fallen again, she laughed lightly before putting her head on the pillow and letting sleep claim her. Tonight there would be no nightmares. Tonight she could just let love carry her through her dream world.

With daylight came the feeling of being exposed. Jessie had opened herself for the first time in 30 years of running away from emotional intimacy. Nerves were raw from the knowledge that she had poured out her soul, and she was unsure of how to react. While she was relieved to know that Rowan was aware of her dark past and that she didn’t care. But, on the other hand, she found herself in a position she’d never had to deal with - someone knowing her deepest and most dark secrets.

When Jessie woke up, the sun shining in on her face, she found herself alone in the bed. Fleeting waves of insecurity combined with waves of happy passed through her as she remembered the night before. I could just hide, run and hide. But she didn’t want to do that. She didn’t want to hide anymore, especially not from Rowan. Something about the blonde had taken her heart and her soul and she knew that no matter where she ran, she could never run from that. It would always be a part of her.

It wasn’t a great epiphany that shook her from her dilemma. Rather, it was the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. The thought of a wet, naked Rowan was enough to make her see her own stupidity. She’d be a fool to run from the love that she felt with Rowan.

Getting up from bed, she stretched, feeling the warm sun against her exposed skin. There was something so different about being in Madison. She felt peace in the college town, unlike she’d ever known. Even the simple act of waking up in the tranquil morning light was fulfilling. Or maybe it’s just waking up in sheets still warm from Rowan’s body! She smirked to herself as she padded into the bathroom.

Dreams filled with Jessie had made Rowan wish she could have slept longer, forever seeing the dark-haired beauty in her mind. But, with great reluctance, she had finally pulled herself from the warmth of the other woman, amazed that Jessie had slept through the alarm. Deciding that she could sleep a little longer, Rowan had gotten up and went directly to the shower. She found herself thinking of the night before, of Jessie’s tears and anguish. It unnerved her. But, it didn’t frighten her.

When she’d first learned of Jessie’s past, she was afraid -- afraid of caring for such a woman, afraid of getting hurt, and afraid of falling in love. But, the day that Anne got the call from the hospital, Rowan knew without any doubt that loving Jessie was not an option - she already was in love with her. The only choice left for her was to come to terms with Jessie’s past and move forward.

Absently scrubbing her body with a soapy washcloth, Rowan nearly slipped a fell when she felt Jessie get into the shower behind her. Strong hands grabbed at her hips, keeping her from falling and a warm, naked body pressed against her back.

“Do you mind if I join you?” Warm breath brushed her ear, followed by soft lips.

A shiver passed through Rowan’s body, but didn’t keep her from pressing back against the woman behind her. “Not at all,” she said, her voice husky with desire. Without realizing what she was doing, she rubbed her body against Jessie’s, feeling her breasts against the backs of her shoulders.

Taking the washcloth from Rowan’s hand, Jessie began to sensually wash Rowan’s body, noticing the goosebumps that surfaced as she did. Passing the cloth over first her back and arms, she then used her long arms to wash breasts and stomach, a moan coming from her as she reached the apex of Rowan’s legs.

Before she recovered, Rowan had turned in her arms and she found full lips pressed against hers, opening hers, and invading her mouth. Intermingled moans flooded the air, creating a hedonistic sensation for both sets of ears. Hands fought for control as they tried to touch each other everywhere at once. Jessie gasped as a hand slipped between her legs, and fingers entered her.

Balance was precarious as both women rocked with a thrusting and giving motion that was as natural to them as breathing. Chests rose and fell heavily as passion soared, creating a delicious heat under the warm stream of water, steam rising around the two wet, naked bodies. Cries of release soon followed as pleasure was found at its highest level, repeating over and over until both woman slumped against the back wall of the shower and they slid to floor together. Rowan found herself blissfully on top of Jessie, her head resting on heaving breasts and her ear able to hear her rushing heartbeat.

Moments passed and neither of them spoke as they drowned in the sensations they found in each other. Finally, Rowan looked up and smiled at the relaxed woman under her. “Good thing we have an unending supply of hot water.”

They both laughed and helped each other up, only to start the delightful task of washing each other all over again.

“Do you need some help with those buttons?” The mouth near Jessie’s ear nearly took away all her resolve to get to work on time. She could just imagine that if she took just a baby step back her body would meet with Rowan’s. An anticipatory shiver went through her.

“I think that if you were to help me with these buttons,” she held up edge the yet to be buttoned shirt in emphasis. “I would make the shower look like just the appetizer to the main course.” A devilish smile crossed her face as she heard Rowan’s quick in take of breath.

“And I’m supposed to say no to that?”

Turning, she gazed adoringly at Rowan. “Listen, just because you don’t have class till after noon, doesn’t mean that you can just play with me. What am I? Your sex slave?” Her outrage was definitely in jest as she thought of just how much she’d love to be just that.

“Hmmm…I ask again. Am I supposed to say no to that?” An infections laugh bubbled from the blonde.

A predatorial look came over Jessie’s features and her body crouched as though she were getting ready to pounce. “Why you little…”

With a small shriek, Rowan ran for her life, knowing that she’d pay for her impertinence. Jessie chased after her, growling the entire time until she cornered her in the spare room.

“Ahhh…now you’re mine, my little pretty!” She hissed in a mock evil voice. Slowly she crept closer until she was upon the other woman. Hesitating just a second, hoping to evoke fear in her captive, Jessie pounced, her mouth going to Rowan’s neck were she started to suck while her hands reach down and began tickling her prey’s abdomen.

Squealing and squirming, Rowan dissolved into a giggling puddle on the floor, Jessie sliding down with her. They lay in a heap on the floor, both gasping for breath. Blue met green and the laughter started all over again.

“You…know…what?” Rowan gasped out through her laughter.

“What?”

“This…second…time…we’ve been…on the…floor…today!” They laughed helplessly, unable to control the mirth that they felt not only in the moment, but in their souls.

Finally, they realized that life was ever obtrusive and that the time was getting late. Jessie was going to be late to work as it was, but she couldn’t find it in her to get up from her comfortable spot on the floor. It had been so long when she’d felt so carefree. Her stomach hurt from laughing so hard and the pain was a wonderful reminder of the fact that she had shared such a moment with Rowan.

Laying on her back, Rowan put her hands back, leaning on her elbows, her legs resting over the other woman. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, taking in the smell of her house with Jessie’s own spicy scent. Despite the shower, she could still smell Jessie on her fingers from where they had pierced her earlier that morning. How did life get to be so good? I haven’t felt this way since… A sign escaped, revealing far more than it should have. Before mom and dad died.

Jessie watched as Rowan’s face changed from happiness to a sadness that she’d seen before in the woman’s face. It seemed to follow her and haunt her like a nightmare. Jessie was very familiar with nightmares and it concerned her to see something of her own pain mirrored in Rowan’s face. How do I ask her? She obviously wasn’t ready to talk about it to Jessie, so the dark-haired woman remained quiet, willing to wait until Rowan was ready.

Fingers thumped over and over on the surface of Jessie’s desk, the files open in front of her ignored, a worried looking face was held in a hand supported by a bent elbow on the desk.

Okay, maybe I was kidding myself. “Waiting sucks,” she said darkly, gaining the attention of a passing administrative assistant. Waving her on, Jessie continued to stare without focusing, her fingers continuing their assault on the desk.

The phone was taunting her, daring her to pick it up and place an important call. “Research, yeah that’s it, research,” she said as she picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. “Mom?”

Anne smiled into the receiver she had just picked up. “Hey Jess, how are you doing?”

“Fine, fine. I need some help from you.”

“I’ll try.”

“Tell me about Rowan.” She was almost embarrassed to ask her mother, but she was getting desperate for the information.

“I would think that you know more than I do by now.” Anne had no reservations about teasing her daughter. “Or have you been doing more shopping?”

Wincing, Jessie realized she’d been caught in her earlier joke. “I’m caught?”

“Oh yes! Rowan came by yesterday and told me everything.”

Everything? Jessie had to wonder just what everything meant! “Yeah, well…”

“So, what do you need to know?”

Jessie explained the melancholy she sensed from Rowan sometimes, as well as her desire not to push the other woman. She was worried about the woman she loved, wanting to be prepared to be anything and everything that she needed.

“So, it finally happened.” Anne sighed happily into the phone.

“What happened?”

Anne could almost hear the scowl she knew was on her daughter’s face. “You finally fell in love.” Again she sighed.

“Yeah, I guess I did,” came the quiet, surprised reply.

“Rowan is a sensitive soul, Jessie. I don’t want to see her hurt.” Anne’s voice was serious. She loved her daughter, but she also knew that her daughter had a tendency to shut her feelings and emotions off from the world, and walk carelessly through life without a second glance to see who had fallen in her wake.

Somehow, Anne’s protectiveness toward Rowan didn’t surprise Jessie. And, she understood exactly what her mother was getting at. “Mother, I’m serious about Rowan. I really love her and I plan on making a life with her, if she will accept me.”

Privately, Anne had no doubt that Rowan would accept her. But, she wisely decided to keep that to herself for right now. Rowan and her daughter would have to go through their own period of discovery. “I’m very glad to hear that. Now, do you have time for a story?”

“A relevant story?” Jessie was skeptical, used to her mother’s stories.

“The story you want to hear, silly. About Rowan.”

“In that case, I’ve got all the time in the world.”

“When Rowan was 17 her parents were killed in a car accident. She was still in high school. From what she’s shared with me, she was very close to both her parents, having been an only child. They were her best friends, which we both know is unusual these days.” Anne paused before continuing. “Or in any day for that matter!’

Jessie laughed with her mother as they both remembered Jessie at that age.

“She was heartbroken that she had lost not one, but both of them. A half dozen relatives all offered to take her in afterwards, but she went to court and was declared able to continue living in her family’s house, go to school, and take care of herself. I think that this was more out of pain than anything. In their wills, her parents left her enough money to go to college without a worry and to provide for her to have a comfortable living afterwards.”

That explained the house, Jessie realized. And, that explained the pain she’d seen in her eyes. The pain of loss.

“She moved to Madison when she started school, still looking out for herself. I don’t know much about her relationships, but I know that she’s been hurt badly. Over the last few years I’ve seen her grow more desolate, not allowing anyone to get too close. She’s the kindest person you’ll ever know, but no one ever really gets in her heart.” Anne debated on whether or not to continue with this thought. “Until you,” she finally said softly, hoping that her daughter would understand the importance of this.

Jessie took a deep breath and held is as the weight of what her mother had said settled on her. It was a huge responsibility to be entrusted with someone’s heart, especially someone who had so much pain in their past. Slowly letting her breath out, she made up her mind that she would never give Rowan reason to be hurt again. She would love and protect her for as long as she let her.

“I promise, mom, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I want the two of you over for dinner this weekend. Saturday, 7pm. Bring the wine.” And with that, Anne hung up, leaving Jessie holding the receiver, her mind lost in her thoughts.

After work, she decided to stop off at her apartment to get some more of her clothes and a few other things she’d forgotten before.

The apartment was dark when she entered. Flicking the light switch by the door, Jessie was surprised when the lamp in her living room did not come to life. She was instantly on guard. Standing completely still was when she smelled the acrid smell of a flavor cigarette in the still air. Narrowing her eyes, she slowly swiveled her head, looking for any clue. It came within a few seconds as whomever had invaded her apartment took a long draw from the cigarette, the ember lighting up, showing the person’s location.

“I almost didn’t recognize you, Blackie.” The voice was that of a woman, low and sensual, reaching out to Jessie like a velvet caress.

The use of the name Blackie clued Jessie in to the fact that this was someone from deep in her past. From when she had been a minor drug dealer and gang leader in Madison, before she left for college and a life of crime.

“I don’t use that name anymore.” Her body was coiling in anger, ready to pounce at any moment, held only in check by her brain telling her to wait.

“So I heard. It’s too bad, I remember Blackie quiet fondly.” The woman’s voice held a trace of laughter, covered by a thick layer of scorn.

Suddenly, the light in the living room came on as the woman turned the switch with her hand. Jessie blinked a few times to adjust her eyes at the sudden brightness, then focused immediately on the woman.

“I thought you looked familiar the other day, Kelly.” She allowed her muscles to relax slightly, aware that this woman was not out to hurt her physically. “But, I thought maybe I was just remembering a nightmare.” Her lip curled as she gave the woman a scorching smile.

“That’s not what you used to say to me.” Slowly standing, Kelly walked provocatively toward Jessie, her eyes smoldering with lustful intentions. Coming to stand just in front of Jessie, she used the tip of her finger to caress her jaw, sliding down her neck and then her shirt, coming to stop just under one of her breasts. “I must say Jessie, you were quiet the hot item back then, but that’s nothing compared to how you look now. Would you like to feel what you do to me?” She grabbed Jessie’s hand and pressed it against her own crotch. The heat coming from Kelly was undeniable.

“Is that why you’re here? A quick fuck?”

Smiling, Kelly moved her hips against where she had Jessie’s hand firmly captured. “Quick, long, fast, slowly, hard, rough…I remember very well what you used to like. We used to be good together. Now we’d be electric,” she purred as she leaned in to press the length of her body against Jessie’s lithe figure.

Once, in Jessie’s life, she would have felt the electric pulses coming from Kelly. Now, she felt a pity in her stomach for this pitiful woman who was filled with memories of the past.

With gentleness touched by rejection, Jessie pushed her away. “I’m sorry, I’m not available.”

Harsh shock flashed through Kelly’s eyes. “Don’t tell me. Rowan?” A harsh laugh followed. “I’ve already had her, and I can tell you she’s good for a fuck, but she demands too much.”

Catching the other woman by the throat, Jessie threw pressed her hard against the wall. “Don’t. Ever. Talk. About. Rowan.” She bit of each word in emphasis, new anger surfacing within her. “Do you understand me?” She growled menacingly into the woman’s face, her breath hot against Kelly’s cheek.

It wasn’t fear that coursed through Kelly’s body at this rough treatment. Jessie was every bit the spitfire she’d been before and then some. Licking her lips slowly, Kelly smiled into the ice blue eyes that stared at her, anger sparking in them. “So, it is Rowan, then?”

It was all that Jessie could do to keep from back handing this woman across the face. She’d made a rule many years back not to hit women. It was one of the few honorable promises she’d made to herself and she wasn’t going to let this bitch destroy that.

“What is it that you want, Kelly?” Deciding not to allow herself to be taunted, Jessie kept her grip firm, not allowing Kelly any room to maneuver.

“Get rid of her and I’ll make it worth your while. She’ll never satisfy you, Jessie. She’ll never be enough for a woman with such a ferocious hunger.” Jessie’s grip tightened as Kelly went on until finally her hand cut into her windpipe, making it difficult for her to continue.

“Listen to me, you bitch. I want you to leave me the fuck alone. And that goes for Rowan too. I don’t want you to go near her, or else you will see more than you bargained for from me.”

Kelly knew enough from Jessie’s past to understand that this was not merely an idle threat. She’d seen Jessie destroy people for the smallest of offenses.

Slowly, Jessie let her grip go, allowing Kelly to slide down to the floor. Laying in a heap, Kelly breathed deeply, her throat on fire. She got up after a few moments, straightened her clothing, and smiled at Jessie. “I guess that answers my questions. I can show myself out.” She whirled around, opened the front door and left.

Jessie’s own breathing had become ragged from the anger pulsating through her. A part of her mind that had never made itself known before was remembering the vivid red hand mark on Kelly’s throat, while yet another part of her felt that the woman had deserved it. Never before had she felt even an ounce of remorse for anything she’d done, especially not to someone as deserving as Kelly. In the back of her mind she heard a soft voice that sounded for all the world like Rowan’s. You feel now. It’s starting.

“What’s starting?” Jessie said angrily into the empty apartment. But, her anger was beginning to dissipate as the sudden image of Rowan filled her mind, replacing everything else. A desire to see the blonde welled up in her. Forgetting to grab her things, she left her apartment, her mind only on getting back to Rowan.

When she got to Rowan’s house, it was after 8 pm. She hadn’t realized she’d been in the apartment with Kelly so long. It had only seemed like a few minutes, but it must have been much longer.

Over the past week, she’d gone straight there after work every day, made dinner for Rowan who’s last class was usually done by 6, and then they’d spend the evening together, cuddling on the couch, making love on the kitchen table, or watching tv.

Tonight, however, the house was dark. She used the spare key Rowan had given her to let herself in, surprised that Tigger wasn’t there to greet her.

“Hello?” She called out, thinking that maybe Rowan had an after class appointment.

“Where the hell have you been?” Rowan’s voice came out of the dark living room.

Jessie’s eyes focused in the dark, finally able to make out Rowan’s figure in the armchair, the moonlight outlining her features. Shit, she’s mad. Why is she mad? Confused, Jessie moved closer, kneeling in front of Rowan. “I stopped by my apartment to get some stuff.”

Reaching over, Rowan turned on the light by the chair. She looked around and then looked back at Jessie. “Then where’s the stuff you got?” Her voice was cold and It was then that Jessie noticed the fresh tear tracks on Rowan’s face.

“I…I…ran into some trouble at my apartment and just wanted to come here to be with you.” Jessie hesitated, her eyes coming together in confusion. What was wrong here?

“Yeah, okay, sure!” Rowan got up suddenly, stalking away from Jessie.

“Wait!” Jessie moved quicker though and was able to stop Rowan before she started up the stairs. “What is wrong? Please tell me.”

Tears that had been dry were quickly brought back to life as they stood there. As she looked into confused blue eyes, she saw sincerity which took the anger right out from under her. Her lowered her eyes, blinking rapidly at the tears which fell. “I guess you don’t owe me any explanations.” She sighed heavily. “I just thought…I thought…” She couldn’t finish her sentence, finding it too painful for her to say the words she’d been thinking silently for the last two hours.

Using her finger, Jessie lifted Rowan’s chin so that she could wipe away her tears. “What could you possibly think that could cause you all these tears?” With soft touches she kissed Rowan’s eyes, tasting the salty tears, as she caressed her cheek.

“I was scared.” Came the soft hesitant reply.

“Of what?”

“That you weren’t coming back.” Rowan finally said, her tears pumping out of her eyes at the mere thought.

“Oh baby,” Jessie murmured as she pulled the smaller woman into her arms, engulfing her completely. “No, baby, no.” She held her tightly as the sobs ran through her body, the power of the embrace alone rocking them both with a sense of safety and peace.

“I’m sorry,” Rowan sniffed loudly, pulling away to reach for a tissue.

Cupping her face, Jessie wiped at Rowan’s tears with her thumbs. “I understand fear,” she said quietly, looking into the face of the woman who had saved her soul. Her savior; her angel. “Since I’ve met you I’ve feared every day that something or someone would take you from me. I’ve never given anyone my heart before.” The admission was said with a smile, but the intensity of the words were not lost on Rowan.

With a perfection that normally comes with time, their lips met, fitting together in a natural formation, sending mini jolts of passion and need through them both. Gasping, Rowan grabbed hold of Jessie shirt with both hands and pulled her closer, trembling with power and desire as her lover’s body pressed against hers.

Pulling away from Rowan’s soft, hot lips with a low growl, Jessie began nipping at the edge of Rowan’s jaw, her mouth trailing down the soft skin of her neck, biting lightly at her pulse point. Arching her back to reveal even more of her neck to her lover, Rowan moaned as Jessie reached the edge of her shirt, pushed it away and continued to where her bra began. The soft fabric of her bra felt rough against her aroused breasts, seeming to just barely contain them as they pushed forward toward Jessie’s mouth.

A loud, insistent noise invaded the haze that both women were caught in. Pulling away from the creamy neck being exposed to her, Jessie’s eyes focused as she tried to focus on the source of the noise. It came again, insistent and penetrating. Someone was knocking on the door.

Glaring at the offending source, Jessie dared the person on the other side to knock again. They didn’t. Instead, the doorbell rang. Annoyed at the distraction, she flew across the room and flung the door open.

The young man on the other side jumped at the sudden movement of the before dormant door. He smiled nervously at the dark haired woman who stood at the open door, her sapphire blue eyes blazing at him in annoyance.

“I…um…have a delivery?” Thrusting the flowers toward the woman, he held onto his smile.

Taking in the young man’s red and white hat that had University Florist emblazoned across it, she tried to hold her anger. “Do I have to sign for it?” Her low voice growled at the man, leaving him unsure of whether he was scared witless, or was turned on.

“Yeah, yeah, here,” he held out the clipboard with his other hand, waiting patiently while she signed her name in quick strokes. “Have a nice day,” he said as he hurried away, glad to be done with that particular delivery.

Closing the door, she finally took stock of the flowers he had handed off to her. A dozen wine colored roses were blooming, oblivious to the fact that they had been clipped from their natural habitat. In short, they were gorgeous. Spying the white envelope in the bouquet, she plucked it out carefully.

“Wow, those are some good looking flowers,” Rowan said appreciatively from across the room. She hadn’t moved when Jessie had leapt for the door, her own state of arousal needing time to work through her blood before she could move.

“Aren’t they?” Jessie said absently as she worked the card free of the envelope. The card was marked in red marker, its harsh black lines forming words. Nice looking girl you have there. Hope she stays that way. A chill of foreboding went through Jessie’s body as she read these words over and over.

“Who are they from?” Having seen the way Jessie’s forehead crinkled as she read the note, not to mention the sudden tensing of the woman’s body, Rowan had concluded that something was not right with her lover.

Deep in thought, Jessie tapped the corner of the card against her chin, not answering her lover’s question. Carefully taking the card from Jessie, she read it for herself. Immediately she understood Jessie’s concern, seeing the threat for what it was. Someone was taunting Jessie, letting her know that they knew where she was and who she was with. Whether or not they knew of their relationship was unclear, but there was that possibility as well.

Selfishly, Jessie imagined her own loss if something were to happen to Rowan. Her own pain would be unbearable. Without conscious thought, her eyes drifted to the blonde woman who stood beside her, taking in the visual image of her lover. A sharp, insistent pain from her heart echoed into her gut, causing her breath to catch. With a will of its own, her body moved closer to Rowan, her arms taking in the smaller woman and holding her tightly. Her lips moved against silky blonde hair, taking in the fresh smell of the shampoo she used, feeling as though a part of her were clinging to life itself.