ForevaXena's FanFic . . .

Falling

by Grit Jahning

Disclaimers: No, I don't own Xena and Gabrielle - I just borrow them. I'm putting them back were they belong, I swear... 

Subtext: Yes, it is maintext in this story. Though it starts out innocent enough. Later on in the story there will be scenes of two women making love. If this bothers you, or you're too young - please don't read this story.

Violence: Yes. Nothing to graphic though. There will be scenes of domestic violence and child abuse. (no rape or sexual violence!) If this bothers you - please don't read this story.

A Note About The Story: This isn't a 'typical' alternative story. It isn't general fiction either. You could probably call it Uber in some ways. So consider yourself warned...

Language: I don't use English in my day to day life so I apologise in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes. You're welcome to point them out to me, though (But please be nice...<smile>) (I will use 'proper' English spelling –  just thought I mention that, too. It just stuck with me after school.) 

Part 1

how could I know when I first met you
I'd be falling in love, never wanting to, cause out of the blue you came my way
so lost for words, don't know what to say
it's a craving
feels like I'm misbehaving
feels like I'm going crazy
only you can save me 

<chorus>I'm falling but I can't stop - can't stop
a little bit of you is never enough
feels like I'm falling - falling
feels like a new day's dawning 

try as I might I just can't hide 
when you came you unlocked all I had inside
like a piece of a puzzle that slots in fine
you came in my life and you made it right
just a feeling - feeling
it's not just my heart you're stealing
you know all there is to know 
cause you've seen inside my soul

                  <chorus>

you're on my mind all the time, morning, noon and night
without you, without love, I just can't survive no, it's a craving
feels like I'm misbehaving, feels like I'm going crazy
only you can save me

can't stop falling
can't stop

(*"Falling" written by Gabrielle/Richard Stannard/Julian Gallagher)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- 1 -

The sun was just peeking out from behind treetops when a tall form on a narrow bed moved and groaned softly. The sounds of cheery birds floated through the open window and the form moved again; accompanied by a mumbled curse.

The bedding was lifted off and a head with long, dark and dishevelled hair appeared. A hand rubbed a still sleepy face and a soft sigh stirred the chilly morning air.

Then still closed eyelids opened and a pair of pale blue eyes blinked at the dawning day. They blinked some more and with another heavy sigh the form got up. Long slender fingers ran through the dark mane and a yawn fought its way passed full red lips.

The head turned at the sound of footsteps and then the door opened as a small woman poked her head in the room.

"Xena? ... Oh good, you're awake. Hey honey, I need you to do me a favour."

The woman entered the small room and looked at her daughter, smiling. At the age of fifteen Xena was already as tall as her elder brother - which meant she was towering over her mother  and Cyrene was constantly amazed when she looked at her daughter. So different from all the other girls in the village.

Not that she spent a whole lot of time with them.

No, the solitary teenager preferred to go out hunting or just scouting around. Usually dragging her younger brother with her. She liked to work on the fields with Toris, her elder brother, or work with horses. Having a remarkable talent with the beasts.

She hated everything that even sounded like housework which meant everything from cleaning to cooking or the gods forbid weaving.

Cyrene shook her head slightly. She watched Xena stretch her long frame and donning a light tunic that she belted at the waist. It was a dark blue contrasting nicely with her pale eyes.

The tall teenager turned to her mother and cocked her head to one side. A slow grin edging at the corners of her lips.

"Want me to get you something from the upper shelves?" she teased.

"Why, aren't we funny this morning." Cyrene scowled in mock anger. "No, nothing like that. Um... I heard that there will be a trading caravan passing through Potedeia in two days. You know I can't leave the inn because Toris is away to the market and someone has to be here because of Lyceus and I want you to get me a few herbs and some cloth."

Xena pursed her lips. Mmh. That sounded like fun. She could take one of their horses and be in Potedeia by early morning tomorrow. Hey, she could visit her uncle and maybe she could get herself a nice dagger or something. Yeah.

"Sure. I leave after breakfast. Anything else you need?"

Her mother nodded and handed her a folded piece of paper. "I made a list. It's not that much but the caravan won't stop here in Amphipolis and I forgot to ask Toris to fetch the things at the market."

Xena nodded and tugged the note away in one pocket of her tunic.

"No problem mum. It'll be nice to visit uncle Spyros again. He promised me to show me some new moves with the sword."

The older woman saw those blue eyes shine brightly as they always did when Xena was talking about fighting or battles or weapons. Sometimes it frightened her.

"Gods child, I swear one of these days you cut off your arm."

But she had stopped arguing with her stubborn daughter about these sort of things. She couldn't forbid her headstrong child to practice with weapons (having tried it more than once) and they had got in some very loud arguments about the topic already. An experience she had no desire to repeat any time soon.

"Mum, please...I don't cut myself. Well, not anymore. I've got pretty good with the sword." She straightened to her full height. "I'm already better than Toris."

"Whatever." Cyrene answered quietly. Avoiding her daughter's questioning eyes. Before she could say anything else though a voice bellowed down the hall.

"XENA!!! Guess who gets all the dumplings this morning!"

Cyrene wisely stepped away from the door as she recognised the voice of her youngest child and sure enough Xena raced through it without so much as a second glance at her mother. Yelling at the top of her voice; a huge smile on her face.

"Well, it ain't you, brat!"

The older woman shook her head at listening to her two offsprings and then followed Xena down into the inn.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Xena lay in the hayloft her eyes closed and just enjoyed the quiet time before her departure. The air was heavy with the smell of spring hay and the warmth of the horses underneath the loft. She heard their soft snorts and the shuffling of their hooves. The sounds of the village muted by the heavy wooden walls.

Here she could be whoever she wanted to be. She could be that great warrior; a hero really, who was fighting against armies and evil monsters defeating all of them easily. She sighed. Yeah.

Here nobody laughed at her or called her crazy.

She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, her eyes tracing the supports above. It was hard to be different. More so because there was nobody to share her dreams with. Sure, there was Lyceus and she loved the little brat but it would be nice to have another friend. A real friend you could laugh with and share your dreams and fears with. Not just someone to roughhouse with or to compete with. Something she seemed to be doing constantly with the  other boys. She knew their were afraid of her because she could beat them up and bested them in almost every game. 

And they didn't really want to befriend a girl - let alone a girl that was better than they were.

Another sigh stirred the air.

Sometimes she felt very alone.

She bit her lower lip and took a deep breath. You are not going to cry like some wimpy girl, dammit. You are going to be a warrior and the best there is. So there.

It helped some but didn't really do anything for the heavy feeling deep inside her chest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

She entered Potedeia just as the first rooster crowed. She had a blanket around her shoulders to fight off the chill that still lingered in the air.

The sun was already up and the misty air promised a hot day. She saw some people already moving around. And from somewhere she could hear the sounds of a blacksmith.

"Come on Argo, let's find uncle Spyros."

She guided her pale horse towards the back of the village where the small hut of her uncle, a former soldier was located.

She was just rounding a corner when suddenly a small form appeared in her way, startling Argo and causing her to almost fall of the tall horse. She managed to calm the horse and turned angry eyes towards whoever had caused the little scene.

Her eyes found a shivering form tugged against the wall of a house. Small arms were wrapped around a thin form and long blonde locks disguised the obviously crying face of a little girl.

Xena's anger died at the sight and she dismounted Argo and crouched in front of the upset girl.

"Hey."

There was no response and the tall teenager sighed.

"Hey you. You're okay?"

Slowly the head lifted from shaking knees and she heard soft sniffs and was then face to face with big, watery green eyes. She felt a strange tingling sensation chase itself up and down her spine and frowned briefly at the feeling but shook it off just as quickly. Without conscious thought she brushed a few stray locks away from the small face smiling reassuringly.

"You okay?"

The small head bobbed up and down.

"Nothing hurts?"

There was a moment of stillness and the blonde head tilted to one side ever so slightly but then shook in a negative manner.

"My horse didn't hit you?"

Another shake.

"Good." Xena straightened to her full height and almost laughed outright at the sight of those green eyes going all big and awed.

"I'm sure tall, huh?" She grinned down at the girl and reached for Argo's halter. She smiled at another silent nod. She offered her hand and after some hesitation felt a small hand slip into hers.

The tingling feeling returned and the teenager was amazed at how right it felt to hold the small hand in hers. She shook her head at herself and helped the girl up.

And suppressed a smile.

"You, on the other hand, are sure small." That got her a pout and a scowl.

"Am not!"

"So you can talk after all. My name's Xena."

Curious green eyes studied her intently and then a sunny smile lit up the small face.

"My name is Gabrielle. .... Nice to meet you." The girl added with a serious expression. Xena smiled again and shook the hand she still held.

"Nice to meet you, too, Gabrielle."

She let go off the small warm hand and regarded the girl for a moment. "You're really not hurt?"

The sunny smile returned and Gabrielle shook her head. "No, was my fault anyway. Sometimes I don't look where I'm going." She shrugged, a sheepish smile gracing her lips. She brushed her hair behind her ears. And Xena found herself smiling again at the gesture.

"I'll say. ... Glad nothing happened. Next time watch where you going, huh? Someone else might not react as fast as I did."

She mounted Argo again. Sure she must seem like a giant to the small girl standing next to the horse.

"Bye."

Gabrielle waved at her and smiled. "Bye."

Xena turned her horse and continued towards her uncle's hut but not without turning around to see Gabrielle still standing there. Though she missed the sight of a man walking up to the small girl and starting to yell at her. Waving his hands around and then grabbing one slim arm and drag the girl away from the alley.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Her uncle's hut smelled of herbs and old, well cared for leather as well as metal and Xena felt very at home here. Maybe because the old man never discouraged her in her wish to learn how to use a sword. He had taught her everything he knew about the craft. Entertained her with his stories about battles and wars he had fought in. And she didn't even mind that the numbers of enemies he had killed in battle seemed to increase with every new telling.

Just now they were sitting at the table in his kitchen and he was telling her about a war he participated in near Athens.

They had rabbit stew for dinner and she was taking a sip from the mug of ale Spyros had poured her. "You fight like a true warrior might as well drink like one." he had said. She had almost felt herself growing some inches at the remark. Feeling very proud and mature. Although mum sure would have a stroke if she knew I'm drinking ale. She smiled ruefully but nevertheless took another taste. 

"....and they came at me. There were eight of them and I had just fought off five others. ...." her uncle's husky voice broke into her musings.

Xena rolled her eyes a little. Four month ago it had been only two and there were no eight others coming at him. Hmmh. She tilted her head thoughtfully. She hadn't seen the small girl then. She frowned. Why do you care?... I really could have hurt her today. Gods, I'm glad I didn't hit her. She's so small.

She had to smile as she remembered the awed look in those big green eyes. She certainly was small and all of five years old the teenager guessed. Her eyebrows wrinkled in thought. What was she doing outside at this hour?

Slowly she became conscious of the quiet and she looked up with a start. To see her uncle grinning at her.

"Oh, I'm sorry ... I ... um ... "

"You were miles away. What were you thinking about?" An impish smile wrinkled his face. "Some nice young man?"

"NO!" She winced at the way this sounded but fought off a blush. She contemplated for a moment to tell her uncle how she really felt. Whom she thought of at nights that she spent in the barn or outside in the woods. And it sure weren't nice young men.

Knowing grey eyes looked back at her and Spyros' voice became soft and understanding.

"Girls then?"

The teenager looked up with a start and swallowed hard. This time not being able to stop the blush that was creeping up her neck. 

A large callused hand came to rest on her arm and she felt a light squeeze. "Honey, as long as you're happy...never mind the others."

Xena felt a weight lift off her chest she hadn't even been aware of. She took a deep gulp of the ale and looked up again.

"I don't care about the others ... It's just ... I don't know how to tell mum."

She shrugged and her fingers started tracing the cuts on the table surface.

Her uncle chuckled and released her arm with another squeeze. "She'll understand."

"You think?"

"Yup. ... So, were you?"

"Huh?" Xena frowned, puzzled.

"Thinking about some nice girl." her uncle added with a bemused smile. Those youngsters were so much fun and especially his niece who always tried to hide her emotions pretending to be that tough kid that didn't care one way or the other. But he knew better. Knew that deep down there was still a dreamer hiding. Someone who loved to watch a sunset or who would spend hours watching butterflies. Someone with a very vulnerable if caring heart.

She would get hurt easily, he was afraid.

Xena almost choke on her ale and coughed hastily. "No, well ... not exactly. It's ... Early today, when I arrived I almost run a little girl over. Really small with blonde hair and green eyes. I was ... just ... it's silly, really ...  just wondering what she was doing out and about at that time."

She shrugged and avoided her uncle's gaze.

Spyros wrinkled his brows in thought. Small, blonde... "Oh, you mean Gabrielle? Yeah ... she's Herodotus' eldest. Cute little tyke. ... Maybe she was fetching something for her father. She's bright, that one."

"Mmh."

Somehow that didn't ease the strange feeling of dread that worried her mind. She shrugged at the questioning look of her uncle and got up.

"I need some fresh air. See you in the morning." She left with a little wave and headed towards the stable to check on Argo. After making sure that there was enough hay for the mare she looked around the stable and spotted a ladder that led up to a hayloft. With a small smile she climbed up and dropped down in the soft hay. Nice.

She closed her eyes. Suddenly tired and weary from the day. She hadn't slept very well the other night and Spyros and she had been training the whole day and the hot sun hadn't help any. All she wanted to do now was curl up in a ball and catch up on her sleep.

She was just dozing off when a sound startled her awake again.

She sat up and listened intently. There it was again. She tilted her head to one side and then crawled to the back corner of the loft, peeking around several bags of grain.

And frowned.

There in the corner was a small form huddled. Holding a kitten close and whispering something to it.

The teenager got closer until she heard the small voice. "... and the tall warrior got down from the really tall horse and helped the fair princess to her feet. She got a real tingly kind of feeling in her hand from the touch and she smiled at her rescuer...."

The small voice broke and Xena heard the girl sniff and she saw a small hand come up to wipe at her eyes. Her frown deepened and she walked closer to get a better look but just then the wood underneath her creaked and the girl let out a small cry; clutching the kitten to her chest. Frightened green eyes fastening on a dark form across from her.

"I didn't do anythin', I swear." a shaking teary voice called out.

Xena felt the words and sight tug at a part very deep inside of her and she actually had to take a deep breath to steady herself. She dropped to one knee and tried to keep her voice soothing.

"Gabrielle, is that you? ... It's me, Xena."

The small chest heaved a deep sigh and the shaking slowed down some. But she didn't move forward. "Xena?"

Taking this as a permission to get closer the tall, worried, teenager dropped down next to the small girl.

"Hey you..."

"Hey..."

The kitten meowed and tried to move closer to the warm body it sensed next to them. Xena offered a finger and the little cat sniffed at it eagerly.

"What's its name?"

She watched Gabrielle swallow a few time and then take a breath. "Tobias."

Xena smiled and ducked her head to make eye contact with Gabrielle. "That's a very nice name." That got her a shy smile and blinking green eyes.

The small girl released the kitten and watched as he sat down next to them. Curling up in a ball and closing his eyes. 

"What are you doing here?"

Xena didn't miss the tearstained face and wondered what the child was doing up here all by herself. It was already getting dark outside.

"Nothin'."

Small arms settled around the small frame again and the teenager saw the girl shivering.

"You're cold?"

A slight nod.

"Come here."

She pulled Gabrielle in her lap and closed her arms around her. "Better?" Again a silent nod and Xena was reminded at today's morning meeting between them.

"You don't talk much, do you?"

That got her a sheepish chuckle. "Da says I talk a lot. Too much sometimes." Gabrielle fell silent and snuggled deeper into the warm nest she was resting in. That was very nice. Safe.

"So, what are you doing here?"

"I ... I don't like to be at home all alone. I wait ... my da's coming home later today. I wait for him here."

"Where's your mum?"

"Mama's visiting her sister. I ... I wanted do go too, but da says he needs some help and ... and .. he didn't allow me to go. But I really wanted ... and it's so dark at home .. I'm not allowed to light a fire ... and there are  those real scary sounds and .. I thought ... because Tobias sleeps here .. that .. like ... he could keep me company ... "

The girl fell silent and sighed.

Xena smiled into the darkness that surrounded them. "I think your da was right. You sure talk a lot. And fast too."

The small frame in her arms stiffened and then tried to squirm away. Whispering: "...sorry..."

Xena tightened her hold and made eye contact again. "Hey, that's okay. I don't mind."

"No?" almost inaudible.

"Nope."

"Could I .. I could .. like tell you ... maybe if you liked ... a story.." Hopeful big green eyes met pale blue and again Xena brushed pale locks from the small face. And the teenager found herself unable to deny Gabrielle the simple wish.

"I'd like that."

The smile that followed literally lit up the barn and before she could add anything Gabrielle was off. The words tumbling from her lips. Her voice excited and her eyes all bright and shining.

She told some short funny story about the time she watched her  da chase the pigs around the yard and then a tale she heard a bard perform at the local inn two months ago. Her whole body was moving while she talked. Her hands describing one thing or another and her small frame constantly squirming in Xena's arms.

But she didn't move away nor did the tall teenager release her.

She didn't know how long they were sitting in the dark but warm hayloft when Gabrielle suddenly stopped talking and cocked her head slightly. Even in the dark they sat in, the only light the moonshine that shone through the roof here and there, Xena saw Gabrielle's face go pale.

She jumped up almost knocking the teenager over and raced to the ladder.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I have to go home, now." The girl stopped at the top of the ladder and turned to Xena. She ran back and threw her small arms around Xena's neck and hugged her very tightly. Then she gave her a kiss on the cheek and smiled at her new friend. "Thank you so much."

And then she was down the ladder and out of the barn before the teenager could recover from the unexpected hug and respond.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Xena spent three days in Potedeia and got herself a new dagger and a new sheath for her sword from one of the traders.

But she didn't see Gabrielle again and she admitted to herself that she was worried about the small girl. She could have asked her uncle where she lived but she didn't. It was just a little girl; she met her only two times – she wasn't her concern.

On her last day she waited a few hours on the hayloft in the stable hoping that Gabrielle would maybe come looking for her or the small kitten she had petted the other night. But she didn't found the cat nor did Gabrielle show up.

She saddled Argo absentmindedly, now and then looking up and around if she might spot a pale head but she didn't see anything.

The tall teenager didn't know why but she was disappointed that Gabrielle didn't come to say goodbye. Gods, look at you! She's just a baby. What do you want with her, anyway? Get on Argo and leave all right?

Never seeing a dishevelled blonde head and sad green eyes following her from behind the barn. 

Never seeing the large dark bruise that covered half of the small face.

Never heard the small voice whisper: ".... bye Xena ... "

XXXXXXXXXXXX 

- 2 -

Cyrene poured another mug of ale and then turned worried eyes towards her brooding daughter again. The teenager sat at a table in the back of the inn. Her chin resting on her fists and a somewhat lost expression on her face. Now and then her brows wrinkled in thought and her face turned into a scowl.

She had been that way ever since she returned from her trip to Potedeia three months ago. She was even quieter than usual for her and Cyrene started worrying.

The worst possibilities running through her mind. But Xena has assured her that everything was okay.

She watched as the tall teenager ran her hands through her black mane, pulling her long locks into a loose tail at the back of her neck. She wore dark leggings and a deep red, long-sleeved tunic - her choice of clothes Cyrene had given up arguing about.

Not that she could imaging her daughter in a frilly dress, anyway.

Xena got up and gave her mother a little wave.

"Hi honey."

"Hi."

"You're okay?"

Blue eyes gazed at her and for a moment Cyrene was sure her daughter would open up to her but then the tall teenager simply shrugged.

"Yeah ... Listen, I'm taken Argo for a ride, okay? I'll be back for dinner."

Cyrene nodded and sighed as Xena left the busy inn. Something's bothering her. Why won't she tell me?

Just then Lyceus came bouncing down the stairs, looking around the inn frowning.

Uh oh.

"Mum, where's Xena?"

"Taking Argo for a ride."

Lyceus' frown turned into a pout. "She went without me?!"

"Oh sweetie, she just needed some time to think about a few things. ... Next time she'll take you, too."

"Think so?"

Cyrene smiled and hugged her youngest child. "Hey ... gonna help me?"

The boy sighed and nodded. "Sure, mum."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The water was cold and had a strong metallic taste but the tall form swimming out to the middle of the lake didn't seem to mind.

Xena let her tall form float, her eyes scanning the cloudy sky above.

Although it was late autumn the day was surprisingly warm and she had decided to take a swim. Maybe the cold water would help to clear her mind.

Three months and she still couldn't get the little girl from Potedeia out of her head. There was something about her that just felt wrong. She just couldn't put a finger on the vague feeling she had. Maybe something about those eyes...?

She closed her own eyes and turned around, her long arms stroking easily through the water.

Mum's gonna kill me. She grinned as she climbed out of the water and wrapped herself in a thick blanket she had brought along. 

Argo was standing nearby, grazing contentedly. Now and then gazing at her mistress.

Xena dried off and put her clothes back on; the leggings and her tunic feeling nice and warm against her chilled skin.

Gabrielle had been really cold. That small body ... so thin ... The teenager sighed and took a seat on a nearby rock using her blanket against the cold stone.

Those last three months had been difficult in so many ways.

Besides being unable to stop thinking about the small girl, Marisa - the girl she had a serious crush on - and her parents had moved to Athens three weeks ago. She had expected it would hurt more than it actually did but she had felt strangely relieved. That last kiss they had shared in the barn had felt nice, though...

And then Toris and she had got into a fight. She had knocked him to the ground. And there was a part of her that had really liked that feeling and almost wished he would get up again. It was like a part of her had been swallowed up by darkness and a strong need for violence.

It had frightened her.

As a result, she started to keep even more to herself. Trying to sort through those strange feelings. Not even Lyceus could get her out of the quiet depression that had settled around her like a dark cloud.

A hawk's cry pierced through the quiet she was sitting in. A soft breeze tugged at her slowly drying hair and brushed through the leaves overhead. Causing them to whisper ancient, silent secrets.

The sounds of nature were like a balm to her hurting heart and she wished that she could just stay out here. Where things were simple and there was nobody but herself to worry about.  Yeah - just living out in the woods. Campfires. Fighting against bandits. She smiled ruefully to herself. Yeah, right.

At first she couldn't make out a source for the noise she'd heard but then ---

Her pale eyes grew wide and she rushed through the bushes.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

It was scary.

Being in the forest all by yourself. And it was getting dark, too.

Gabrielle heaved a deep sigh and brushed tears from her face. And her tummy was growling again.

Her feet and legs hurt and she was getting cold. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to go look for the nice tall girl. Maybe she should have asked someone from the village for help. But she didn't want them to see her like this.

They hadn't believed her before.

But the tall girl would. She had liked her stories. Nobody had said that before. No one.

She sniffled again and looked around. She didn't know where she was. If she was even close to Amphom ... Amphili...no ... Amphilop.... to the town Xena lived in. But she couldn't go back, now. It was past dinner time already and da would be really angry with her.

Again.

She had tried so hard to be good but there was always something she did wrong. 

The small girl dropped down on a fallen tree trunk and started crying again. Her tummy hurt where da had hit her and her face felt really hot and her left arm hurt really bad, too.

It was dark all around her. Strange noises floating past her. She yelped as she heard the echoing sounds of an owl above her.

And then she froze as suddenly a dark form was rushing towards her. Oh gods, da had found her.

A soft cry left her throat and she curled into a ball, trying to shield her already hurting tummy. 

"...please ...I'm sorry ... really ...."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Xena dropped to her knees next to the cowering form.

"Gabrielle?"

The shaking got even worse and Xena put a worried hand on a shivering shoulder. Just to pull it back as the small girl let out a hoarse cry.

"Gabrielle, it's me. Xena."

Anxious green eyes peered at her and after a tense moment recognition lit those eyes and the girl propelled her small frame into Xena arms. Sobbing uncontrollably.

The tall teenager couldn't think of anything else but to rock the small body and whisper soothing nonsense words. "Ssh, little one, I've got you ... sssh .. it's okay ..."

The small arms clung almost desperately to her and Xena tightened her hold. Willing her racing heart to slow down. Gods, she' freezing ... okay first things first ... Gotta get her home.

"Come on little one, I'm taking you home."

The small body stiffened and teary eyes blinked at her. Dirty blonde locks moving wildly as Gabrielle shook her head. "Please ... don't take me back .. please ... I ... I ... "

Xena's brows wrinkled, confused but then she understood. And she hugged Gabrielle again. "No, no I meant, I'm taking you to my mother's inn. It's too dark to ride to Potedeia anyway."

She stood up taking the small girl with her. Keeping her cradled in her arms. She returned to Argo and wrapped the girl into the blanket and seated her atop the horse.

"Hold on tightly to the saddlehorn."

Tired eyes blinked and Gabrielle nodded. Xena mounted behind her wrapping one arm securely around the painfully thin waist and then urged Argo towards Amphipolis. Feeling Gabrielle doze off after a few silent moments.

What were you doing here, little one?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

- 3 -

Cyrene smoothed out the bedding covering the small sleeping body and brushed a few stray blonde locks from a fevered forehead. Replacing her hand with a cold rag.

It had been four days since Xena had found the girl in the woods and earlier this morning her fever had finally broken. Which also meant that Xena got finally some sleep. Her daughter hadn't moved an inch after they had settled Gabrielle in one of the guestrooms upstairs. She had refused to sleep in her own room choosing to sleep on some blankets she'd placed next to Gabrielle's bed. To be close to the sick girl who had caught a bad case of coughing sickness. Her whole body shaking violently with every cough.

Cyrene was astonished at the amount of tenderness her usually aloof daughter showed towards the younger girl. She'd fed her and held her in her arms whenever she was scared awake by fevered nightmares.

It was a behaviour, Cyrene was honest enough to admit, she hadn't expected her daughter capable of.

They had sent word to Potedeia to let the girl's parents know that Gabrielle was safe but so far there hadn't been a response. Cyrene suspected that the sudden change in weather was responsible. The temperature had fallen considerably and last night it had started to snow heavily. So much so actually that it was impossible to navigate a horse or a wagon over the road that connected the two villages.

One day later and the child would have frozen to death. Cyrene shivered at the thought. Imagining Xena coming across the dead body. Her daughter obviously cared very much for Gabrielle. It was strange because from what Xena had told her they had met only two times.

Cyrene let her eyes roam over the small frame tugged into the bed. The sleeping face with its soft downy skin and round cheekbones and slightly upturned nose held an innocence that was almost painful to look at. There was a....shine about the girl that made you simply love her. Filled you with the need to protect her just by watching her sleep.

Her left arm was enclosed in bandages and two flat wooden boards to support her bone. She must have dripped during her walk through the forest and had broken her arm.

The older woman heard heavy footsteps outside the door and looked up in time to see Toris' dark head poking into the darkened room.

"Mum?" He kept his voice low although Gabrielle was sound asleep.

"What is it?" Cyrene got up and motioned her eldest son to follow her down into the inn.

"A message from Potedeia came just a moment ago. ... I guess it's from her parents." He handed his mother a thin rolled up note.

Cyrene sat down and carefully opened the piece of paper. Her eyes scanning the writings silently. After she finished she pursed her lips thoughtfully; a slight frown wrinkling her eyebrows.

"It's from Gabrielle's parents." she said to a patiently waiting Toris. "Her father thanks us for taking care of her and asks if we could keep her with us until spring. His wife is due with another baby next week and he is reluctant to leave her because of the weather."

"Mmh." Toris brushed his hand through his short dark hair. "I'm sure we can manage that and Xena will be happy about having her here for a longer time. She seems quite taken with the little tyke." He chuckled softly. "I think Lyceus is jealous."

Cyrene smiled and nodded. "Yeah you're right ... Actually I'm glad she'll stay. Gives her a chance to heal up fully and I can get some meat on those bones. ... I doubt that it is healthy to be that thin."

"Want me to tell Xena the news?"

His mother got up as the first customers entered the inn and then shook her head at her son.

"No. Let her get some sleep first. I'll tell them at dinner."

"Fine. ... Oh ... If she awakes before then, could you send her out to me? I need some help with the fencing at the back pasture. Some sheep escaped last night."

Cyrene nodded again and, after her son left, turned her attention towards her customers.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I can't do it!"

"Centaur poop - sure you can. Trust me."

"I'll drown."

A soft snort.

"You will not. I won't let you, okay?"

Silence.

"I promise."

A heavy sigh. Followed by the soft rustling sounds of clothing, splashing of water and tiny yelping noises. A throaty chuckle stirred the air. More splashing followed by louder indignant yelps.

Winter had been mild despite its harsh beginning and by early spring the days were already warm enough to go without an over tunic. 

Xena smiled as Gabrielle dropped down into the water and started to throw water at her. Laughing happily.

This was their last week together and the tall teenager found herself reluctant to let the small girl go.

She had gone through the coughing sickness not as easily as the healer had hoped though her arm had healed up nicely. After she was strong enough to be up and about again she had started helping Cyrene in the inn. Bringing so much childish energy and light into the inn that the customers came just to watch her running around or helping Cyrene.

Xena's smile got wider.

Lyceus had been jealous at first but after a week he had been as charmed by her smile, shining green eyes and gentle nature as the rest of them. The reason he wasn't with them today was because he had reading lessons. 

Xena ducked under the water and surfaced with a flourish letting the warm water run down her long hair and back. She was glad that the spring was heated by an underground source otherwise she wouldn't have risked Gabrielle's health. But she wanted to keep her promise to teach her how to swim.

"Okay, little one. ... I'm going to stretch my arms out and you are going to float on them stomach down."

The small girl smiled eagerly and did as she was told. 

"Perfect. Now ... you start to move your arms and legs just like a frog would, okay?"

"... um..." The small arms and legs started moving slowly but with growing confidence. 

"That's it Gabrielle. See - isn't that hard is it?"

The blonde head shook; a very serious expression on the small face. Xena could see just the tip of a tongue sticking out between slightly parted lips. A gesture the teenager had become familiar with over the past months. It usually meant the younger girl was concentrating really hard. She did it when they were practising writing or reading - a project she had started two months ago.

Ever so slowly Xena started to move her own body and the smaller one resting on her arms along the shore, making sure to decrease the contact between Gabrielle and her arms with every step until Gabrielle was swimming all by herself.

"See? I told you, you could do it, little one."

The wet blonde head turned to her and big green eyes got even bigger as they saw her tall friend several steps behind her.

The small body was immediately swallowed up by the water.

Xena laughed softly and lifted her easily back up.

"I swam?" An unbelieving voice sounded up.

"Sure did."

Before Xena could react she had her arms full of small, warm body that was hugging her with all its might.

Haven got used to those surprise hugs the dark haired girl simply hugged Gabrielle back. Noticing with satisfaction that her younger friend had finally gained some weight.

They practised for another candlemark until Gabrielle's growling belly reminded Xena that they had brought lunch. She helped Gabrielle to dry off and then did the same for herself stopping when she felt curious green eyes on her.

"What?"

"Why's that?"

Dark brows wrinkled in confusion. "Why's what?"

Gabrielle cleared her throat and the five year old started blushing. Something the tall teenager thought was endearingly cute.

A small hand pointed but her eyes refused to meet Xena's questioning gaze.

"You have ... there ... is hair down there." By now Gabrielle was obviously embarrassed and started fussing with her dress.

Xena's eyes followed the pointing hand and she barely caught the laugh that threatened to escape.

"Oh ... yeah well ... um, that happens when you grow up, you know?"

The small girl had put on her dress and finally met Xena's smiling face. It put her at ease a little and she took a step closer. "Does it tickle?"

This time it was the tall teenager who blushed. "No...no it .. um doesn't tickle."

She belted her tunic after putting on her leggings and dropped down on the blanket they brought so Gabrielle wouldn't have to tilt her head all the way up to look at her when they were talking. The small girl was only reaching up to her hip.

Before Gabrielle could sit down as well Xena motioned her to stand in front of her and then helped her into her own thicker over tunic. 

She smiled as she had to fold up the arms several times and saw the hem of the tunic fall past the small girl's feet. She would have to lift it up to avoid stumbling but Xena wasn't taken any chances with Gabrielle's health.

The blonde girl snuggled into the oversized tunic - a huge smile on her face.

"When you grow older your body starts to change and it'll look different than it does now." Xena continued her explanation.

"Oh." The smaller girl cuddled close to the tall body next to her and felt a long arm settle across her shoulders. Nice. Safe.

"Is that why your chest is so swollen?"

"You .. um... " Xena cleared her throat hardly believing that she was explaining this to her young friend. "You could say that. And I'm not .. swollen, they're called breasts and women get them because they need them when they have babies."

Among other things. A hidden smile played around Xena's lips.

Bright green eyes pondered that and then blinked in understanding. "Oh ...like with baby cows?"

"Well, yeah ... something like that." A thought suddenly popped in her mind and the teenager winced inwardly. Oh gods don't let her ask me where babies come from.

"Do you wanna have babies?"

Xena wasn't any less speechless and actually had to think about the question. Babies? I wanna be a warrior not a mother. It was true. Her plans for the future had never included a family.

"I don't know ... Certainly not now. ..." She fell silent not sure how much to reveal to Gabrielle. It was odd but she felt more comfortable talking to the small girl than she felt with anyone. Gabrielle had a way of simply listening to her and giving her the feeling of being understood no one ever did. And she did understand a lot of things although she was only five year old. It was very odd sometimes...

"I will ... I will enter a competition next month to enter the Academy for Military Education in Sparta." Pale blue eyes gazed across the lake, shining brightly. "I wanna be a soldier."

Gabrielle closed her eyes. Imagining her tall friend in shining armour protecting helpless blonde princesses. She smiled.

"You're going to be a great soldier."

Xena didn't know why but those innocently uttered words meant a lot her. It felt so good to be accepted without reservations.

"Thank you, little one .... what about you?"

Gabrielle was silent for a long moment. She never told anyone about her dreams but ... she knew that she could trust Xena. She wouldn't get angry.

"I wanna be a bard." she answered in a small voice. Unconsciously stiffening her small frame. Xena felt it and turned towards her. She cupped Gabrielle's face in a large hand and smiled. Her voice very serious.

"You are going to be a great bard. You are going to grow up into a beautiful, caring woman and you're going to tell the best stories. ... I just know it, little one."

For a moment Gabrielle didn't know what to do. Only remembering how to breathe and then she throw herself at her tall friend and started sobbing.

No one ... no one ever had said anything like that to her. There was so much she wanted to say to her friend but she couldn't think of any words. She hugged Xena even tighter and whispered: "I love you, Xena."

Those words wrapped themselves like warm hands around her heart and Xena closed her eyes. "I love you too, little one."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

- 4 -

It was already dark outside and pale green eyes watched as a full moon appeared and disappeared behind fast moving clouds.

A small chest heaved in a silent sigh. Tomorrow her da would come to take her back home. She would meet her new baby sister. And see her ma again. But somehow she just couldn't feel happy about it.

Those last months had been the best time in her young life. There was nobody yelling at her and she didn't have to do so much hard work. Nobody hit her when she did something wrong.

One night she had dropped a plate and she had been so afraid that Cyrene would punish her for it but the older woman had ruffled her hair and said that they had enough plates. She hadn't hit her or yelled at her. She was even allowed to get something to eat.

Da had never done that. He said that she didn't deserve to eat if she was bad. And she had been so hungry most of the time. But here... She got three meals a day. Three! And every day at least one warm meal. She couldn't remember when was the last time her tummy had hurt because she was so hungry.

She really liked being here. And she loved Xena so much. Maybe she would visit her.

Another sigh and this time the tall body next to her moved. Gabrielle smiled and snuggled closer. Xena had allowed her to spend her last night in her bed.

There were times when she was very close to tell Xena ... things ... but then she remembered what her da had said. That no one would believe a little kid. And fathers have the right to punish their children. Maybe with the new baby he would be nicer to her. And she could try to be very good. Maybe he wouldn't hit her so often. Her fingers traced over her left arm. Remembering this awful sound it had made when da had twisted it.

Yeah, she would try to be extra good. Take care of her baby sister and help ma a lot. Maybe then da would let her visit Xena. Oh, but Xena is going to Sparta.

But maybe it wasn't that far away. She'd have to remember to ask her tall friend that tomorrow.

She closed her eyes and thinking about dark haired warriors fell asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Xena?"

"Mmh?"

The tall teenager looked down at her small friend who was holding her hand in a very tight grip.

"Sparta, is that very far away?"

Xena thought about that and finally nodded. "Yeah, it's quite far. You have to travel a couple of days to get there." Her eyes caught the dejected slumber of the small shoulders and she dropped to a knee in front of Gabrielle.

They were standing in the town square waiting for Gabrielle's father who was due any minute now. The small girl had been quiet all morning and Xena had started worrying.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Pale green eyes filled with tears looked at her. "Does that mean you won't visit me?"

"Oh, little one." She pulled Gabrielle in a hug and shook her head. "I'm going to write you letters okay and I will try to visit as often as I can, okay?"

The sounds of an approaching wagon filled the air around them and Xena saw a bit of the light Gabrielle's eyes usually held fade.

"Okay?" she repeated.

Sad green eyes blinked at her for a long silent moment and then Gabrielle nodded. She hugged her tall friend just as her father came riding into the square. "Promise you won't forget me?"

Xena felt those words almost like a physical blow and she actually had to swallow before answering.

"Never, little one. I promise."

A small hand stroked her cheek ever so lightly and then Gabrielle turned and walked towards her father's wagon. Climbing up next to him with one last look at Xena. The tall man nodded at the still kneeling teenager and called out a thank you.

Xena simply nodded and watched numbly as the wagon and her small friend left Amphipolis. She was startled to feel tears on her face and wiped them away with an angry gesture.

"Xena?"

Her mother's voice sounded from behind her but she refused to turn around. She couldn't face her; not now. She felt a part of herself falling apart and she needed some quiet time to sort through her feelings.

Without turning around she said: "I'm going to take Argo for a ride."

Cyrene watched her daughter head towards the stable. She could only guess how much Xena was hurting. She had seen how close the girls had grown over the past winter and now she didn't know what to say to make Xena feel any better. She knew that she would miss Gabrielle very much, loving the little girl almost like her own child.

She sighed and with another look at Xena turned around and went back into the inn.

Neither of them knowing that it would take five years for Xena and Gabrielle to see each other again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

- 5 -

                   "Dear mum,

It's been my first month here at the Academy and I enjoy every minute of my time. I know it was the right decision to come here. I learned so much already!

                   And to ease your worries - no, I'm not the only girl here. There are four other and we get along quite well. You know me... My instructors are very pleased with the progress I'm making, especially in fighting with the sword. Seems uncle Spyros' work is finally paying off, huh? I still can't believe he died two days after I left. But I'm going to make sure that he'd be proud of me.

                   The lessons they are teaching us here are very interesting. I really like Strategy and my teacher was very impressed with some of the ideas I came up with. Said I'd be a natural. ... Pretty cool, huh?

                   But what I like the best is the time we spent at the exercise courses. All the running, weightlifting and hand to hand fighting is a lot of fun. 

                   How are things at home? I hope Lyceus isn't missing me too much. Tell him I'm thinking of him every day and I'm sending him a shirt with our Academy logo on it.

                   By the way ... I won't get a leave before next year. They told us new cadets have to stay here for at least six moons without breaks. This means I won't be home for solstice. Sorry. 

                   Will you let Gabrielle know that I won't be able to visit her before next year? I wanted to write her but remembered that her reading skills are still pretty limited. 

                   I have to finish up here because my next lesson starts shortly. I'm looking forward to hear from you.

                   Bye, Xena."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

                   "Dear, mum,

                   Thank you so much for the heavy shirts and tunics you sent. I can't believe how cold it gets here.

                   And also thanks for the birthday wishes. Tell Lyceus I got his card. And I really liked the picture.

                   Wow, four moons have passed. But time is flying by here so it doesn't really feel that long. From the looks of it I will finish this semester as one of the top three of our class. That feels pretty good especially because some guys gave me a hard time in the beginning - but boy did I ever show them.