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*****

Part II

*****

-- Chapter 10--

~~~~~

The fire crackled loudly as the flames quickly engulfed the wood.  Gabrielle stepped toward it, the heat enticing her.  Reaching out, she held her hands before her and turned them slowly.  It felt familiar and safe.  Pressing her fingers to her cheeks, she absorbed their warmth. 

Bright-blue flames leapt from the wood toward her, their heat so intense, that beads of sweat broke out across her brow.  Suddenly the air in the room was sweltering.  Yet, she did not move away.  The urge to move closer, to feel the warmth against her skin was too strong. 

Tearing at her gown, she threw it aside and immediately released the tie to her breeches.  In one quick movement, she slid them over the curve of her hips and let them drop to the floor.

Instantly the flames reached out, lightly dancing across the surface of her skin as they lapped teasingly at her flesh.  Her heart pounded furiously, her body instinctively responding to the sensual caress.  Waves of sensation washed over her as the fire flared higher, shooting streams of blue that wound around her in a passionate embrace. 

There was no pain, no burning, only a breathtaking heat that made her drop to her knees as she cried out in pleasure. 

Completely at the mercy of the heat rippling across her skin, she arched forward, allowing the sparks to lick at her nipples.  Breasts tingling with sensation, she moaned softly.  She wanted to feel it everywhere…longed to have it engulf her.  Raw need coursed through her, the likes of which she had never known, never dreamed existed.

Lying back, she allowed the flames to wash over her.  Unrestricted, they raced across her quivering belly and down her legs.  Sliding beneath the hollow of each knee, the fire encircled her moist inner thighs, crackling softly as it gently urged them open.  Caught up in sensation, her body trembled in anticipation.  She hadn't the will to resist.  As if in a trance, she slid her hands between her legs and spread the lips of her sex to allow the access they both craved.

Hungrily advancing, the flames licked at her sensitive flesh.  Sliding slowly back and forth, they caressed the most intimate recesses of her sex.  Moaning, she rocked toward them, the taut muscles of her thighs cording as waves of arousal coursed through her.    

Her climax swelled within her as the fire stimulated her to the point of madness.  Unable to control her body's response, she guiltily embraced her helplessness, for it freed her to surrender…to allow her physical needs to rule.

Sensation raced like lightning across her skin as heat spread through her body like a fire out of control.  She moaned helplessly, terrified by the strength of her passion, yet desperate for the release that would bring an end to the delicious agony of her prolonged desire.  

Lost in the flame's caress, she teetered on the brink of orgasm, her body quivering with need.  Yet, it was no longer enough to simply climax.  She yearned to connect with the entity that so skillfully made love to her…longed to feel it press deep inside, filling her. 

Closing her eyes, she envisioned a hand, its long graceful fingers poised at her entrance.  Without thought, she spread her knees wide and yielded, willing it to take her. 

Flickering at the edge of her opening, the flames licked at her hungrily.  But it wasn't enough…she needed more…something she couldn't name. 

Suddenly it was too much to bear, her need too intense.  Tears streamed unchecked down her cheeks.

Instantly the flames withdrew. 

Abruptly torn from the edge of ecstasy, her body was left wanting, hungry and unfulfilled.   Aching from the loss, a desperate cry tore from her throat.  PLEASE…I NEED YOU…PLEASE!"    

~~~~~

"Gabrielle…Gabrielle…wake up.  You're dreaming.  Wake up."

The young woman's eyes flew open in a panic as she sat bolt upright, throwing off her blanket. 

Lila laid a hand on her shoulder to calm her.  "You were dreaming."

The blonde looked around anxiously as she struggled to get her bearings, her body drenched in sweat.

"You were crying out in your sleep.  I was afraid you'd wake Mom and Dad.  Are you all right?"

She fought to control her labored breathing.  "Yes, I…"

Lila ran her fingers through her sister's damp bangs.  "It must have been a terrible nightmare.  I've never seen you so shaken." 

"A dream…just a dream," she whispered sadly, tears of frustration springing to her eyes. 

"Do you want me to stay?"

"No," Gabrielle replied, turning her head.  "Please, I just need to be alone."

Lila stood, reluctant to leave her sister in such a state.  "Okay, but call if you need me, huh."

As the door closed, a wave of indescribable loneliness washed over her.  Gabrielle shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.  Each dream left her feeling more empty and alone than the last.  Never had she felt so desolate.  It seemed that nothing could ease the aching loss she felt…nothing but the mysterious entity from her dream.  Curling into a tight ball, she cried softly. 

Why was this happening?! 

She thought back to her first erotic dream over a moon earlier.  Searching her mind, she tried to reconstruct the events of that day: In the evening, she and Xena had seen a bard perform in Athens.  The woman's performance had been incredible.  In fact, Gabrielle had been so utterly captivated by it that she had purchased a copy of one of her poems. 

She thought back to how crowded the performance had been.  So crowded, that as she'd turned to leave she had dropped her scroll.  Suddenly her memory clarified.  No…someone had bumped into her…a woman.  She dug deeper, trying to pull the woman's image from a sea of faces.  Closing her eyes, she struggled to concentrate.  Light hair…silver hair…her heart hammered as the encounter came flooding back. 

It was Asia…Asia handing her the scroll.  She could almost feel her skin tingle the way it had when the woman's fingers brushed her own.  That very night the dreams had begun, dreams of hands running the length of her torso, gently caressing her. 

*****

The warrior entered Poteidaia through the forest near the lake.  Hearing splashes in the distance, she dismounted and looked ahead.  Suddenly she froze.  Not a stone's throw away, Gabrielle stepped nude from the water, her skin sparkling in the morning light.   

Tired from the long journey, Argo shifted restlessly, snapping a twig. 

Hearing the noise, the bard grabbed her blouse and looked anxiously toward the sound. 

As if in a trance, the warrior stepped from the woods.

"Xena?"  Surprised and relieved, Gabrielle smiled warmly.

For a moment, the dark-haired woman could barely breathe.  She was lost in the sensual allure of her companion's mouth, a mouth that hinted at pleasures she had only dreamed of.  The warrior's mind raced.  To kiss those lips…to feel their soft, fullness brush against her own…would be Elyssia.  Entranced, her eyes traced the gentle curve of Gabrielle's neck, before coming to rest on the bard's breasts. 

The young woman's blouse was nearly translucent against her wet skin.  Through it, Xena could see her companion's taut rose-colored nipples straining against the fabric.  Slowly moistening her lips, she lowered her gaze to the delicate triangle of blonde hair and imagined kneeling before the bard…inhaling her scent…parting her folds…tasting her.   

Confused by the warrior's silence, Gabrielle looked at her curiously.  "Is everything okay?  I didn't expect to you to arrive for a fortnight."

In all of her life, Xena had never seen anything so beautiful, never desired anything so much.  Without thought of consequences, she reached out to take the young woman's face in her hands and stared into her emerald eyes.   In them she found the other half of her soul. 

All at once the need for a physical connection was too powerful for the warrior to resist.  As Gabrielle parted her lips to speak, she bent to kiss her. 

The contact was electric.  Pulling her close, Xena slipped her tongue into the young woman's mouth, moaning into her.  It was bliss.  She was lost, so hopelessly lost that it took long moments for her to notice the hands pressing hard against her chest, pushing her back. 

But, even that, was not enough to break her swoon.  It took the sound of the bard's voice to pull her from her erotic haze.

"Xena, stop!  Stop it!  What are you doing?"

The warrior staggered backward, the confusion and disillusionment in the bard's eyes confirming her worst fears.  In a moment of weakness, she'd ruined everything.  Turning, she ran through the woods, unmindful of her direction.  Suddenly her vision blurred the very earth beneath her feet disappearing.  She was falling, groping for anything that would slow her descent.  There was nothing-- nothing but the ground on the other side of the cliff face, drawing closer and closer.

Throwing off her blanket, Xena sat bolt upright.  Shaken to her core by the nightmare, she got to her feet, the hairs on her arms rising in warning.  Turning quickly, she cautiously looked around.  The forest was still, the only sound that of an owl taking flight. 

She was alone.     ~~~~~

*****

Asia looked up calmly as Gabrielle burst through her door, unannounced.  "Good morning." 

Ignoring the prophet's greeting, the bard bristled, her eyes flashing with anger.  "You're doing this, aren't you?!"

"Doing what?"

"You know what," she insisted.  "Last night--" the words caught in her throat.

"You had another dream?"

"You know I did." 

"I haven't done anything," the prophet assured her, reaching out.

Gabrielle shrank from her touch.  "I remember you from Athens. I dropped my scroll and you picked it up.  I remember you touching me.  It was after that the dreams started…and I-- I began to change."

"So you think I'm causing your dreams?"    

"Y--you've done something to me," Gabrielle stammered.

Asia spoke softly.  "I give you my word…I'm not creating these dreams." 

"I don't believe you.  I--"

"--Gabrielle, search your heart.  You know it's not me."

"But if it's not you, then who?"

The prophet motioned to the chair beside the table.  "Please, sit down.  Tell me what's happened."

The bard's hands trembled as her anger was suddenly replaced by fear.  "Something's wrong.  I…."  Emotionally exhausted, she dropped into the chair and lowered her head into her hands.  "I don't know what to do.  I can't go on like this."  She looked up, tears welling in her eyes.

Asia remained silent.

"If you know what happening, you've got to tell me!"

"I've seen only glimpses." the prophet replied gently.  "I can't be sure." 

"You've got to try…please!"  Gabrielle stretched her trembling hand across the table.

Hesitantly, the prophet reached out.  On contact a series of vivid images flashed before her, shocking in their eroticism.  She pulled back. 

Alarmed by her reaction, Gabrielle hugged her arms tight to her body.  "What is it?  Am I cursed?  Bewitched?"

"No," Asia assured her.  "It's no spell or act of possession."

She met the prophet's eyes in desperation.  "Am I losing my mind?"

"Definitely not."

"Then what?!"  Tension hung heavy in the air as she waited for Asia to respond. 

The silver-haired woman met her eyes.  "It's desire."

"Desire?"

"Yes, in its purest form." 

"M--my desire?"

The prophet nodded in silent confirmation.

Gabrielle looked at her in disbelief.  "You think that I'm doing this to myself?"

"Are you?"

"No!"  She paused in confusion.  "It can't be me.  Why?  Why would I create these dreams?" 

"How do they make you feel?"

Color rose to Gabrielle's cheeks and she quickly turned away.  "Gods, what's happening to me?"

"I think deep down you know."

"I don't!"

Asia exhaled deeply.  "Tell me, do you find these dreams pleasurable?"

Averting her eyes, the bard flushed hotly.  "Y--yes…partly…."

"Then it's not against your will."

The bard took a shaky breath.  "No."

"Then why do you resist?"

"Because it scares me.  I've never wanted anything so much.  It's consuming.  I'm afraid I'll lose myself in it."

"Is that why you stop?"

The bard nodded.  "I don't want it to stop, but I'm afraid to let go, to--"

"--To what?"

"Please, I don't understand.  If I'm creating these dreams, why can't I control them?"

"In a way, I think you do control them.  You wake yourself up before you have to face what it is that you truly desire."

"No, not this time.  My sister woke me.  I was crying out in my sleep.  With all my being I wanted it."

"You keep saying 'it.'  What is 'it'?"  

"I told you--I don't know." 

"I believe that you do.  Think hard."

Gabrielle shook her head.  "It's invisible…or smoke or fire.  I can't see or even touch it."

"Maybe that's because you feel safer not seeing, not touching.  What does it make you feel?"

Although she knew, it was hard for her to voice it out loud.  Meeting the prophet's eyes, she forced the words.  "I feel need…a need so urgent that I fear it will strip me of my reason." 

"Yes, I could feel the power of it."

"Please, you have to help me.  Tell me, what can I do to make the dreams go away?"

"Is that what you really want--for them to go away?"

Gabrielle felt the heat rise to her face.  "I…." She shook her head helplessly.

"Then, what do you want?"

"I want to give in.  I want it to take me."  Tears overflowed the bard's eyes.  "I must be losing my mind!"

"No," Asia assured her.  "I think you're finding it."

"But how can you say that?  I don't even know who I am anymore."

"Yes, you do.  Deep inside, you always have.  You're just afraid to face it."

"Can you help me?"

"You can help yourself.  Face what it is you fear."

The bard cast her a desperate glance.  "How can I do that when I don’t even know what it is?"

"In time…."

"I-- I can't go on like this.  If you can do something, anything…."

"Gabrielle, making you confront what you're not ready to face could be devastating for you.  Once it's done, there's no going back."

"It couldn't be worse than this," she insisted.  "Please!  I'm begging you." 

Hesitating, Asia looked into the young woman's pain-filled eyes.  "All right, take may hands."

The bard reached out, her finger's trembling at the initial contact. 

Attempting to calm her, the prophet spoke softly.  "I want you to relax.  I'm going to try to guide you though this.  It will feel very much like a dream, but I want you to remember that if you get too uncomfortable you can pull yourself out at anytime." 

Gabrielle nodded.

"When you're ready to begin, close your eyes."  Lightly stroking her thumbs across the backs of the blonde's hands, she soothed her.  "That's right, exhale your tension and take a deep breath-- relax.  Feel your limbs getting heavier with each breath." 

Instantly she felt Gabrielle respond as one by one the bard's protective barriers fell away. 

In all her experience, Asia had never encountered anyone so open, so trusting.  With a powerful surge, Gabrielle's emotions flooded her mind and for a moment, the prophet considered pulling back while there was still time--before this innocent woman was changed forever. 

But she couldn't. 

She wanted this too much.  From the moment she touched the bard in Athens, she'd longed to tap into the young woman's mind.  And now she was there, experiencing the bard's memories in richly intoxicating detail: the wonder…the excitement…the love…the need. 

The desire to delve more deeply into the young woman's consciousness was so strong that not even the intense waves of emotional pain overshadowing it all could deter her.  Unable to resist, she urged the bard on.  "Envision the flames from your dream."

Gabrielle gasped as she felt the heat of the fire. 

"Reach out, feel them ripple across your skin.  I know you want this…I can feel it."

The bard's breath quickened, her lips parting sensually.  "Yessss."

"That's right," the prophet purred.  "Now take my hand, and bring me into your dreams." ~~~~~

Never had Gabrielle felt so utterly frustrated.  Nothing was working.  Slashing a large X through the words she had written, she threw her pen aside, and stared at the mark on the page.  Lost in her thoughts, she didn't see the counselor approach.  

"Still no luck catching up with your teacher, huh?"  The brown-eyed woman pulled up a chair and sat down.

Gabrielle released a heavy sigh.  "No.  I'm about ready to give up. Maybe this style of writing isn't right for me."

"Or…maybe you're looking in the wrong places for motivation," the older woman suggested.

"What do you mean?"

The counselor winked and ran her finger across the back of the blonde's hand.  "Think hard.  I'm sure you'll figure it out."

Feeling the heat rise to the surface of her skin, Gabrielle quickly pulled back.  "M--my stories work without those scenes," she stuttered.  "They aren't important."

"Aren't they?"  The older woman's eyebrows lifted playfully. 

"I don't need them."

"If that's true, why did you take this class?  You must have felt something was missing."

"I just wanted to…to know…to learn--"

"--To learn what?"

Gabrielle swallowed nervously.  "How to write a love scene."

"You mean sex scene."

"I…" Embarrassed, she looked away.

"Come on.  Like you said, you've written love stories.  It's the sex you're really interested in."

"No, that's--"

"--Who are you kidding?" the counselor taunted.  "You want it so badly, you can almost taste it."

Gabrielle picked up her papers and stood.  "I don't have to listen to this."

"No, you don't," the counselor agreed.  "So why have you?"

"I need to find my teacher.  I--"

"--I'm a teacher," she purred.  "Believe me, there's so much I could show you, if you'd let me."  Running her finger lightly down the young woman's arm, she paused and met her eyes.  "Come on…what could it hurt to broaden your experience a little?" 

 "Stop!"  Gabrielle quickly pulled her arm back.  "I'm not attracted to--"

"That's it…you're almost there.  Go on, say it."

Gabrielle took a step backward.  "Really, I don't--"

Winking mischievously, the counselor closed her hand around the young woman's wrist.  "Ah, but I think you do.  It's never been a bad boy that you needed.  In fact, the male gender doesn't interest you at all, does it?"

The blonde's pulse raced.  "Stop!  I--"

"Ooooooh…."  The counselor cooed teasingly.  "But things are just beginning to get interesting."

"Let go of my arm!"

"Mmm…not this time.  Deep down, you don't want me to stop, do you?"

Gabrielle struggled as hot tears welled in her eyes.  She wanted to scream, to drown out the counselor's words.

"Believe me, I understand.  I don't find your thoughts shocking at all."  Her eyes sparkled playfully.  "But then…that's why you came to me, isn't it?"

"I have to leave."

"But we're sooo close."  She leaned forward, breathing softly into the bard's ear.  "What is it you need me to tell you?  Do you need to hear that there's a world of difference between being fucked by a guy and being made love to by a woman?  Well, darling, it's true.  Women are so much more exciting.  Only another woman can fully understand your desires."

Powerful emotions washed over the confused young woman as she tugged weakly to free herself.  "Uh…let me go."

"Deny it and I will." 

Gabrielle stood trembling, unable to speak. 

"Can't do it, can you?"

"Please!" she begged, at last finding her voice.

"Shall I tell you what you really desire?"

Desperate to erect a barrier between herself and her enemy, the bard closed her eyes.

Undaunted, the counselor continued.  "What you really want is an experienced woman…a woman who'll open up your world…a woman who'll make you feel things you've only dreamed of…isn't that right?"

Gabrielle flushed hotly, shrinking from the stinging words.

"A woman who'll push your boundaries, draw you out, force you to let go.  A woman who'll leave you wanting."  Releasing her, she smiled smugly.  "We both know who that is.  Don't we?"

Finally free to run, she stood motionless, her limbs like lead.  Heart racing, she screamed out in anguish, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

~~~~~

Somewhere in the distance, a familiar voice pulled her back. 

Gasping, the bard drew air into her aching lungs and opened her eyes.

*****

Xena slid the saddle onto Argo's back and tightened the cinch with trembling fingers.  The vividness of her dream had truly shaken her.  Gabrielle's fear of her had been almost palpable.  She closed her eyes against the painful vision. 

Unlike anyone else in her life, the bard's trust in her had never wavered.  In all their time together, no matter what she'd done, the warrior had never detected even the slightest hint of fear or apprehension in the young woman.

Not until this….

Was her dream some terrible premonition of things to come or simply the manifestation of the warrior's worst fear: losing the one person she couldn't do without?

In either case, she was not prepared to face her friend…not yet.  She needed more time.  Mounting Argo, she headed down the road leading out of Poteidaia.

*****

Gabrielle stared mutely into the fire.

Inhaling deeply, the silver-haired woman spoke up.  "Gabrielle, talk to me…please."

"I don't see how talking will help.  What more can I add?  You know it all now…everything."

"No.  All I know is what you let me see."

The bard turned away.  "I should go."

"Wait," Asia pleaded.  "What I did was wrong.  I--I crossed boundaries that should have never been breached.  I helped you see things that you weren't ready for."

"It's not your fault," the bard answered dully.

"That's not exactly true," she confessed.  "When you accused me of doing something to you in Athens, you were right.  That day, when we touched, I got a flash of the emotions you'd buried deep inside.  In all my travels, I'd never experienced such a powerful connection, not from such casual contact.  I wasn't prepared for it.  My guard was down.  I failed to shield my thoughts, and for an instant, you glimpsed what I'd seen in you. That's why the dreams started.  I had put a crack in the dam you'd so carefully constructed."

The bard released a heavy sigh.  "What does it matter how it began?  The thoughts…the feelings…they're mine.  There's no getting around that, is there?"

Asia shook her head sympathetically.  "Gabrielle, I know how overwhelming this must be, but if you'll let me, maybe I can help."

"And just how are you going to do that?" she asked coldly.  "Can you change what I am, the way I feel?"

"No," the prophet replied sadly.  "But maybe I can help you begin to accept it."

"You don't know me at all if you think that's possible," Gabrielle blurted.

"I understand some of the things that you're feeling.  I know that for a long time you've worn your smile like a mask to hide a secret that you felt you couldn't share with anyone."

The bard's eyes filled with tears and she looked away.    

Asia gently brushed her cheek.  "I know that you have buried some very powerful emotions, emotions you didn't want to face.  I know you're frightened, but I promise you, talking about it will help."

"I can't."    

"You can," the prophet insisted.  "You're stronger than you think." 

"No."

"Gabrielle, listen to me.  There's no going back.  I've opened the door.  It's no longer simply a matter of denying confusing dreams.  Now that you've seen the truth, turning your back on it would mean denying who you are.  I can't let you bury this again.  It would be a silent affirmation that what you're feeling is wrong-- that it should be hidden.  You have to face this!"

"Why?"

"Because if you lock your feelings inside, you'll be sacrificing a part of yourself…a part no one should have to do without…the part that sustains us when nothing else can."

Tears slid down the young woman's cheeks. 

"Your faith in the innate goodness in each of us--your ability to see beyond the surface into the very heart of people--is your special gift.  Turn that inward and trust in the purity of your own heart.  Take the first step.  Tell me, who is it you desire?"

With trembling hands, Gabrielle wiped the tears from her eyes.  "Someone I can never have…."

"And why is that?"

"There are so many reasons…" 

"But how many of them truly matter?"

"One that I can't ignore."  Gabrielle looked down at her feet and steeled her courage.  "The person I'm in--the person that I'm attracted to is a--a woman.  Xena is the one from my dreams.  It's my feelings for her that I couldn't face."  Swallowing hard, she gathered her courage and looked up.

Asia's eyes shone with genuine affection.  Confused by the prophet's reaction, Gabrielle attempted to clarify her confession.  "You don't understand.  I love Xena."

"But I do understand."

"No," she insisted.  "I mean as more than just a friend.  I desire her…sexually."

Asia smiled softly.  "I think your dreams make that infinitely clear."

"And you don't think it's…wrong?"

"To me, it's not so important who a person loves…only that they love."

Gabrielle shook her head doubtfully.

"You disagree?"

"No. I--it's not the love part that's bad.  It's--" she stopped, unable to say the words.

"What then?  The physical expression of love between people of the same sex?"

"Yes.  Everything I've been taught says it's…wrong."

"Not to me," Asia replied, the conviction in her voice clear.  "I believe that there are few things more sacred than the joining of two adults in celebration of their love for each other.  But, truly, it's not important what I think…or anyone else, for that matter.  In the end, it's your own conscience you must live by, your own heart you much search."  Asia leaned forward.  "Answer me truthfully.  Is the love you feel for Xena insincere, deceitful, or selfish?  Does it feel wrong to you?"

Tears streamed down the bard's cheeks as she shook her head.

"Tell me.  Deep down, what is it that you feel for her?"

Wanting to communicate through her mind what she had no words for, Gabrielle reached out to grasp the prophet's hands.

Asia pulled back.  "No, not this time.  Give voice to your feelings.  It's important that you say it."

"I love Xena…with all my heart.  I see her pain and I want to take it from her.  I want to shield her from the things that would hurt her.  There's nothing that I wouldn't do for her.  I would give my life for her.  I want to give my life to her…share every moment.  I want her to feel my love…in my touch…in my kiss.  I want to be as close to her as two people can be. I-- I--" Nearly breathless, the bard flushed brightly, startled by the intensity of her own feelings. 

The prophet smiled as she watched realization dawn in the young woman.

Gabrielle looked into Asia's eyes.  "Deep down, it doesn't feel wrong.  To me, my love for Xena is the purest thing I've ever felt."

"Then that, my dear, is the truth you need to live by."

To at last have spoken her heart and embraced her true feelings was more freeing than she could ever have imagined.  Suddenly the walls that had for so long kept her prisoner began to crumble, releasing a flood of tears.

She reached out for the prophet's hands, taking them in her own.  "I don't know how to thank you."

The bard's overwhelming gratitude rolled through Asia in great waves.  Quickly she pulled back; the temptation to allow herself to be drawn back inside the young woman's mind was a lure she could barely resist.

"I feel free for the first time in my life!"  Gabrielle exclaimed.

The prophet smiled.  "Remember this moment.  Call it back when you need it most."

Inhaling deeply, the bard smiled.  "I'll always remember this…always."

"The first step, in anything, is always the hardest.  But believe me, the more you open up to others, the lighter your burden will be."

Gabrielle looked at her like a doe caught in the line of a hunter's bow.  "Others?  I can't tell anyone else.  They wouldn't understand, not even my family.  They wouldn't--" She stopped suddenly, voice choked with distress.

"You're right," the prophet agreed.  "There will always be some that will never accept you, not under any circumstances.  Deeply ingrained misconceptions are hard to shed."

Saddened, the bard looked away.

"Just think of how long it took you to come to terms with your feelings," Asia explained, trying to ease the bard's alarm.  "The good news is that if you find the courage to embrace who you are, in time most of those closest to you will come around.  Eventually, they'll see that the love you feel is not so very different from the love they have in their own hearts."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Oh, it's far from that.  Forcing people to question their beliefs is extremely difficult.  In this small village, you'll be breaking the trail and that won't be easy.  But once you open the door, you'll be surprised how many others will follow you through.  You aren't the only one to have these feelings.  I've encountered many like us in my travels."

"You're in love with a woman too?"

"Um-hmm, for many years.  You see, you're not alone, and the more comfortable you become with yourself, the more in tune you'll be to others like us.  Believe me, to be able to feel so much for another is a blessing, not a curse.  It would be tragic to deny your feelings, tragic not to experience all the love you have in your heart.  Be grateful that you have such a great capacity to love.  Not everyone does."

"I don't know if I'm strong enough.  There's so much at risk."

"For me, there is nothing more difficult than living a lie.  The joy that has come from opening my heart and being true to myself has far outweighed the challenges I've faced."

They sat quietly, neither speaking.  After long moments, it was the bard who finally broke the silence. 

"Asia?"  She paused nervously.  "You've met Xena?"

"Yes."

"And you shook her hand?"

Nodding, the prophet took a deep breath.  She didn't need to read the bard's thoughts to see where this was leading.

Gabrielle forged ahead.  "I--I was wondering…did you sense anything when you touched her?  Do you know if Xena, if she…" The bard anxiously met Asia's eyes.  "Could she ever love me that way?"

Asia smiled softly.  "What I'm able to tell you, you already know.  As a friend, the warrior loves you dearly.  You've touched her life in a very special way, and that's a wonderful place to start.  But to discover what is in her heart, you're going to have to talk to her."

The bard sighed wistfully.  "I guess I knew you would say that."

"Gabrielle, just take things one step at a time and remember that no matter how Xena feels, in the end the most important thing is for you to accept yourself." 

*****

-- Chapter 11 --

Angry, Emma took deadly aim and swung her make-shift staff at a nearby tree. 

Seeing the young girl from the road, Ryder called out, "Whoa!  Remind me not to get on your bad side today."

She spun around in surprise.  "Ryder, I--I was just…practicing."

"Looked pretty serious to me."

"Well," she confessed, leaning back against the tree.  "I was kind of mad.  I guess it slipped out."

He took a seat on a nearby log.  "Having a bad day, huh?"

She nodded.

"I've been having one of those myself, so I'm hiding out."

Taking a seat beside him, she released a heavy sigh.  "Me too."

"What's up?" he asked.

"I had to take care of the brat again.  She always ends up doing something that gets me in trouble.  I hate having to share my room with her.  She's always getting into my stuff.  I'm tired of picking up after her, sick of being the older sister."

"I know exactly what you mean."

She gave him a quizzical look.  "You do?"

"Yeah, in my family I'm the brat.  I've been plaguing my sister for years."

"Really?"

"Yep.  But I'll let you in on something.  A brat's job isn't easy either," he winked.  "It's tough coming up with all those irresponsible things."

"Then why do you do it?"

He shrugged.  "I don't know.  For the attention, I guess.  It's not easy having a sister who never does anything wrong.  How do you measure up to someone's who's perfect?"

"Tana's never said that she thinks I'm perfect."

"Of course not.  It's bad enough having a perfect sister without letting her know it."  He picked up a blade of grass and twirled it between his fingers.  "Don't get me wrong.  I love my sister.  In fact, I wish I could be more like her, but that spot's already taken.  I kind of had to make my own niche, if you know what I mean."

Emma nodded.

"Look, don't be too hard on her.  As you get older you'll discover how important family really is."

She cast him a doubtful glance.

He playfully ruffled her hair.  "Who else would put up with you on your cranky days?"

"You would," she answered quickly. 

"Yeah, but if you hadn't noticed, I'm not quite right in the head."  He stood and pulled her to her feet.  "I see you're getting pretty good with that thing."

She beamed at his compliment.  "Gabrielle taught me some moves.  She's incredible!"

He smiled.  "Well, you're not half bad either.  That's quite a swing you have there."

"Really?"

"Uh-hmm.  Gabrielle must be a good teacher."

"She is."

"Then she must have told you the first rule of all good fighters."

"Ahhh…no."  She gave him a puzzled glance.  "What rule?"

"Never skip a free meal."

Emma rolled her eyes. 

"It's true.  Have you ever seen Gabrielle eat?  She can really put it away."

"Honestly?"

He nodded.  "All the best fighters know they have to eat in order to stay strong." 

Her brow furrowed as she stopped to consider his words.  "Now that you mention it, I am kind of hungry."

"Me too.  Let's go see if your mom's got dinner ready."

*****

As Gabrielle looked up at the stars, she did so with hope in her heart.  She felt renewed.  For the first time since arriving in Poteidaia, she looked forward to the dreams sleep would bring.  Taking a deep breath, she smiled inwardly and turned down the path toward her parents' house. 

Glancing ahead, she saw Ryder walk out of the tavern.  "Hey!"

He looked up and smiled.  "Hi, Gab.  I've missed you here the past few nights.  Where've you been?"

"I…ah…I had some thinking to do-- some things to work through."

"About the guy thing?"

She nodded.

"You know, I've been thinking about that.  Maybe you should be looking for someone who falls between the good old boy and me.  You know, a regular kind of guy."

Gabrielle lifted a playful brow.  "I don't think so.  I'm definitely drawn more to your end of the spectrum."

He smiled.  "Well, that's definitely good news.  Does this mean that I still have a chance?"

"I'm afraid not."  Taking a deep breath, she steeled her nerve.  "I'm in love with someone else."

"Just my luck.  At least tell me that I remind you of him," he teased.

"Actually, in an odd way, you do."

"Ahhh, then he must be devastatingly handsome."

She laughed.  "Mmm, not exactly…."

"Well, what can I say?" he shrugged, rubbing the back of his fingers against his shirt.  "We all can't be perfect."

"Not to mention 'modest'," she added.

"Why not…let's mention it."

"You're incorrigible."

"I never claimed any different, but enough about me.  Tell me, if you're in love with someone else, why are you here with me instead of him?"

"Because I was having trouble facing my feelings."

"And you're not anymore."

"Well…I'm working on it."

"So who's the lucky guy?"

Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him, hands suddenly trembling.  "That's just it…it's not a guy."

"What do you mean?"

She nervously met his eyes.  "I--I'm in love with a woman."

Taken completely off guard, he failed to mask his shock.  "Oh…well…gee…I…."  Stunned, he fell into an awkward silence and dropped heavily onto the bench beside him.

Heart thudding in her chest, Gabrielle tried to cover her anxiety.  "I think that's the first time since I met you that you've been at a loss for words." 

When he didn't respond, she continued nervously.  "I've really enjoyed the time we've spent together.  I--I hope we still can be friends."

He shook his head and looked up, a wry smile on his face.  "I must be slipping.  This is the first time I've ever been on the receiving end of that line."

Relieved, she laughed and sat down beside him.  "So, what do you say?  Friends?"

He reached for her hand, then paused to tease her.  "I don't know.  I've never been 'just' friends with a woman before."

Put at ease by his impish manner, she smiled.  "Like you said the night I met you, there's always a first time."

"Okay," he agreed, taking her hand.  "Why not?"  Bending, he kissed her lightly on the cheek.

She hugged him gratefully.  "It's such a relief that you… well…that you don't think I'm strange."

He pulled back.  "Now, I wouldn't go that far."  Punching her playfully on the shoulder, he winked.  "I'm just kidding.  Honestly, you're a very interesting woman, one of the most intriguing I've met."

"Guess it's lucky for me you don't get out of Poteidaia much." 

He laughed and pulled her to her feet.  "Come on, let's walk."

As they headed down the deserted road, she turned to him.  "Ryder, thanks for being so understanding."

"Hey, for me your interest in women comes as good news.  It means I haven't lost my charisma."  

"Definitely not."  She winked at him.  "And you know, contrary to everything I've heard, you've been a perfect gentleman."

"Don't spread that rumor.  I've worked hard for this reputation."

"Don't worry," she promised.  "Your secret's safe with me." 

Now it was his turn to wink.  "And yours with me.  See, chivalry isn't dead."

She grinned.  "And just to prove it I think I should buy you a drink."

He feigned a frown.  "Damn, you seem perfect for me.  Are you sure about this woman thing?"

"Absolutely."

*****

No sooner had they sat down than an attractive brunette hurried over.  Kissing Ryder on the cheek, she whispered something in his ear before walking across the room to join her friends

The bard rolled her eyes.  "Yet another new woman?"

"You know me."

"Isn't she married to the blacksmith?"

He shrugged.  "Small detail."

"But she's unavailable, pledged to someone else." 

"What can I say?  I like that in my women."

"I see," Gabrielle nodded.  "No ties."

"Exactly."

"But what about her husband?  Doesn't that scare you just a little?"

"Nah, I like an element of danger."  Clearing his throat, he quickly changed the subject.  "So I've been dying to ask you.  Who's this gal you threw me over for?"

"The woman I travel with…Xena."

"Xena!"  His eyebrows shot up.  "As in The Warrior Princess?"

The bard nodded.  "Yeah, that's the one."

"Wow.  You've got great taste, kiddo.  She's a knockout."

Gabrielle smiled nervously as he cast her a questioning glance.   

"A bit intimidating, isn't she?  Doesn't that scare you a little?"

"Nah," she shrugged.  "I like an element of danger."

"Touché," he smiled.  "But you two seem so different.  I mean…she has such a… a dominating presence."

She winked playfully.  "Uh-huh, I like that in my women."

He laughed and took a sip of his ale. 

Following his lead, she too took a drink from her mug.  "Ryder, mind if I ask you a question?"

"Not as long as you don't mind if I refuse to answer."

"Fair enough," she agreed.  "Why do you…flirt with so many women?"

"I like variety.  I get bored easily."

"Then why don't you leave Poteidaia?  There's a world of women outside this small town." 

"What can I say?  I guess basically I'm an underachiever."

"Hmm…" Mulling it over, she took another sip.  "I've noticed that you spend a lot of time here at the tavern.  Why is it that?"

"You said one question."

"You got something to hide?"

"Me?" 

"Yeah, you see anyone else here?"

"Look, it's really not that complicated," he shrugged.  "I like to drink, and this is a good place to pick up women, that's all."  He took a long swallow of his ale.  "Enough with the questions about me.  It's my turn.  Tell me…this warrior that's captured your heart…does she know how you feel?"

"No.  Until recently, I hadn't even admitted it to myself."

"Are you going to tell her?"

She shrugged.  "I don't know if I have the nerve."  She glanced up at him.  "You're the expert with women.  What advice can you give me?"

"Women love a good listener.  That's always a good place to start."

"Unfortunately, that won't work.  She's not much of a talker."

"Hmmm.  Doesn't sound like any woman I've ever met."

"She's not like any woman I've ever met either."

"You could sing her a song.  Women love that sentimental stuff."

"That's no good either.  I can't carry a tune."

"What about seduction?  I've never met a woman who didn't respond to that."

"Oh, no?"  She cast him a sly smile.

"Okay, okay, so you’re the one exception."  He raised his hands in defeat.  "Sounds like you've got your work cut out for you." 

Gabrielle slumped in her seat.

"Look, it's not that bad.  You have a lot of things going for you.  Use the assets nature gave you."

"And what assets are those?"

"You must be kidding!  You're very attractive."  Reaching behind her, he pulled back her hair.  "You've got a fantastic neck…great shoulders.  Maybe you should cut your hair to show them off." 

*****

Xena dropped her bedroll to the ground and smoothed it out with trembling fingers.  Clasping her hands to stop their shaking, she took a deep breath.  The past few days of wandering aimlessly around the countryside had failed to bring about any great revelation.  Instead, the fruitless delay had left her more physically and mentally drained than when she'd first begun.  It wasn't her way to sit back, to let herself be controlled by situations.  She was a woman of action, and, like it or not, it was clear what needed to be done.  

Exhausted, she stretched out on her blanket and stared up at the stars.  Immediately her thoughts turned to Gabrielle and the many evenings they'd spent together under this very same sky.  Never in her life had she had such a friendship.  And now she was about to change it all.  She had no choice.  Regardless of the outcome, she had to return to Poteidaia and face her fears.

*****

Anxious as a caged lioness, the bard paced back and forth in her room.  Stopping at her window, she looked up at the star-filled sky and thought of Xena.  Her chest tightened at the realization that no matter what happened now, from this point on, things would never be the same between them.  Whether she confessed her feelings or tried to keep them hidden, she would never be able to look at the warrior in the same way.   

Too edgy to sleep, Gabrielle dressed and quietly let herself out.  She desperately needed a diversion from her thoughts, and in all of Poteidaia, she knew of only one person who could provide that.  Opening the tavern door, she peered inside and smiled.  Ryder sat alone at the far table.   

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't see her approach.

"Hey," she called out cheerfully, "I hoped I might find you here." 

Smiling at the sound of her voice, he turned.  "It's usually a pretty good bet." 

"So I've heard."

Pulling out the chair to his right, he motioned for her to sit.  "So what brings you out so late?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"You've been hanging around me too much.  I'm turning you into a night owl."

"I wish it were that simple."

"Been thinking about your warrior?"

She nodded.  "I can't get her out of my thoughts…or my dreams."

Ryder poured her a glass of ale.  "Here have a drink.  Trust me.  It helps."  Sloppily draining the pitcher, he motioned to the heavyset woman behind the bar for another. 

"Where's Rose?"  Gabrielle asked.

"She took the night off."

"I didn't think she ever got away from this place.  Hope nothing's wrong."

Ryder shrugged and stared into his drink.

Immediately, Gabrielle noticed how uncharacteristically solemn he seemed.  She wondered for a moment if he was drunk.  Whatever the case, he wasn't himself.  Concerned, she brushed his arm.  "You okay?"

He smiled softly.  "Sure, why?"

"For a minute you looked…I don't know…like someone was haunting your dreams too."

"Nah, not me.  I sleep like a baby."  Quickly draining his mug, he refilled it.

"You seem a little down.  What's going on?"

"Nothing much."

"Come on," she urged, lightly nudging his shoulder.  "I shared my secret with you."

"Yes, you did."  He wiped his chin with the back of his hand and met her eyes.  "You know, I'm still trying to figure out why.  I'm not the kind of guy people trust."

"Only because they don't really know you," she said, taking a long swallow from her cup.

"Right."

"I mean it."  She reached down and squeezed his hand.

Feigning a smile, he re-filled her mug.  "So…have you thought about telling Xena how you feel?"

"Are you kidding?   Anymore, that's all I think about."  She took another drink.  "I'm not sure what to do."

He followed her example and took a long swallow.  "Okay.  Let's examine your choices."

"You mean I have more than one?"

"Sure.  The way I see it, you have at least three, each of which has its up and down sides."

"I'm all ears," she declared, setting her drink down.  "Enlighten me."

He raised his index finger.  "Choice number one: you can go for broke and tell her how you feel.  The upside is that if she feels the same, it could be your fantasy come true."

"Yeah, but if she doesn't, I could lose her friendship."

"True, that choice has a pretty steep downside, all right."  Seeing her shoulders sag, he hurried on.  "Or you could go with choice two."

"Which is?"

"Leave things as they are and silently endure."

Gabrielle released a heavy sigh.

"Sure, it's the slow, torturous way to go, but at least you could still be near her."

"But I'd be living a lie.  And besides, I've never been very good at hiding things from her."

"I can see that.  You're obviously the type that wears her heart on her sleeve."

She kicked him lightly under the table.  "As opposed to you, the hard-hearted gigolo who never shows his real feelings."

"You've got it." 

"Well, I don't buy it," she replied confidently.

"Think you have me all figured out, huh?"

"No, but I'm working on it."  Winking playfully, she refilled her mug.

"Let' s get back to the subject at hand," he urged.

As the potent ale began to take effect, she watched Ryder's image waver before her. "And what was that again?" she asked, trying to stay focused.

"Your rather problematic love life."

"What love life?"

He smiled.  "Exactly."

"I'm glad you find my misery humorous."

"Sorry."  He patted her shoulder.  "Don't lose heart.  There's still choice number three."

Wincing, she took another sip from her mug.  "I'm afraid to ask."

"Try to find someone else.  Forget about her and go out with as many women as you can."

Clutching her cup with both hands, she slid it toward him for a refill.  "That's not even an option.  I love Xena.  She's the only one I want."

"Well, that leaves one and two."

"One and two what?"

"You're drunk."

"So are you," she countered.

He smiled and downed the rest of his ale.  "Not yet, but I'm getting close."  He quickly refilled his mug.  "Now where were we?"

"Beats me, but I've got to figure out what to do about Xena."

Ryder furrowed his brow thoughtfully.  "Okay, I remember.  You're trying to select between choice number one--the chance, and choice number two--the torment."

"That's all I get?"

He nodded.  "Unless you're reconsidering number three?"

"Never, I--" She stopped mid-sentence and stared at him curiously. 

"What is it?  Are you reconsidering?"

She ignored his question.  "Number three isn't working for you, is it?" 

"What do you mean?"

"Why so many women, Ryder?"

"For fun.  Why else?"

"You don't look that happy to me."

"Well, I can't be on every night, can I? 

"You're not a very good liar.  I don't believe you."

"Well, that is your prerogative."  He filled her glass. 

She pushed it aside.  "I'm right, aren’t I?"  She tapped her index finger thoughtfully to her lips.  "Now I just need to figure out who you're trying to forget."

"Let's get back to your troubles."

"Not so fast…I'm on to something here."  Her eyes suddenly widened.  "It's Rose, isn't it?"

He laughed nervously.  "You're guessing."

She smiled.  "Not anymore.  Seems I'm not the only one that wears my love on my shirt."  She slapped her thigh triumphantly.  "Well, I'll be.  Rose!"

"Shhhh. You don't have to tell everyone in the tavern."

She gestured broadly.  "There's no one else here."

"Yeah, I guess it's pretty late."

"I wonder where everyone is?"

"Probably home sleeping or fooling around," he offered.

Gabrielle looked up sadly.  "I miss sleeping with Xena."  When she saw him arch his brow in surprise, she quickly amended her comment.  "I mean near her…beside a campfire…under the stars."  Staring at the nearly empty pitcher, she clumsily reached for it.

"So it's companionship that you long for."

"No!" she replied a bit too loudly.  "It's the sex too.  I want her, really, really bad."  She hiccuped noisily.  "Know what I mean?"

"Gotcha," he grinned.

She released a heavy sigh.  "It's almost all I think about…day and night…night and day."

"And here I didn't think there was anyone as horny as me."

"Trust me.  You don't have anything on me in that department." 

"Sorry, I stand corrected."

Suddenly somber from all the talk of the warrior, she took his hand and looked into his eyes.  "But it's not just that.  There's so much more.  I think about her all the time…what it would be like to hold her…to wake up in her arms…to feel her heart beating against me."  Emotions amplified by the ale, forced a tear down her cheek.  "I just miss her so much."

Ryder put a comforting arm around her shoulder.  "I know."

"Yeah, I guess you do," she admitted, haphazardly wiping her face.  "Why aren't you with Rose?"

"What does it matter?"  He took a long sip of ale.  "It's over.  I blew it years ago."

"How?"

"I was young.  I screwed around and she found out.  She saw me in the barn with someone else."  He shook his head exhaling loudly.  "The stupid part was that I wasn't even attracted to this other girl.  I was just trying to prove something to my friends."  He shrugged.  "Maybe to myself too.  I don't know anymore."  He took another drink.

"Did you try to make it up to her?"

"By the time I'd come to my senses and stopped listening to my buddies, she'd moved out of town and married."  

"How long ago was that?"

"Must be thirteen or fourteen summers now."  He took a sip of ale. 

"Wow, that's a long time to want someone." she exclaimed.

"Yeah," he agreed wearily.  "When she moved back last winter after her father died, it was as if she had never left.  My feelings for her hadn't changed."

"Have you told her?"

"No, I'd made quite a reputation for myself while she was away.  It just didn't seem right to approach her."

"I'm sorry Ryder."

"Me too." 

"So…all those women…they're just a front?"

Ryder nodded.  "Kind of sad, isn't it?"  He held up his glass as if to toast.  "There is an upside though.  I think she and I have become pretty good friends this past year."

"Choice number two," Gabrielle guessed.

"Yep.  It's better than nothing."  He quickly drained his glass.  "Hey, can I ask you something?"

She smiled.  "As long as you don't mind if I refuse to answer."

"Why Xena and no one else?"

"I don't know.  It's a lot of little things: her smile, her voice, the way she moves.  Gods… I could go on and on.  No one else makes me feel the way she does."  Trying to dull the memory, she took another sip of her drink. 

"You want to hear something strange?"  Ryder asked. 

Setting her mug down, the bard nodded.

"Even after all this time, I still remember the smell of Rose's skin, the taste of her kiss."

"What I'd give to know that," Gabrielle admitted, sighing wistfully.

"What a sorry pair we are.  Like moths to flames."

Tapping her mug to his, she smiled.  "To the flames that draw us."

Quickly draining his glass, he stood anxiously.  "Come on.  I better get you home while I'm still able to walk."  Arm-in-arm, they staggered out the door.

Just outside the tavern, Gabrielle pulled away.  "Just a minute," she whispered.  "I have to go."

"Go where?" he asked, his expression puzzled.

"I have to…you know…."

"Ohhhh, that."

"Yeah."  As she staggered toward the bushes near the tavern, she tripped on a rock and fell. 

Ryder awkwardly hurried to her side.  Grabbing her hand, he pulled her to her feet. 

As soon as she was upright, her head began to swim.  "Whooooaaa…the ground is moving."

He held tightly to her waist to steady her.  "You okay?"

She nodded and pushed his hands away, the pressure in her bladder too heavy to ignore.  "Quick, turn 'round!" 

Hearing the urgency in her voice, he faced the other direction.

With some effort, she managed to untie her breeches and yank them down.  Turning her back to him, she attempted to squat and tumbled forward with a thud.

"Need some help?"

"Don't look!"  As she rushed to stand, her foot caught in her underwear, sending her sprawling.

"What's going on back there?" 

"I tripped.  Don't look!"

"How could I look?  It's pitch black out here."

Tossing her underwear aside, she tried once again to squat.

"Can you possibly speed this up?" he asked impatiently.  "I have to go too."

Teetering back, she struggled to keep her balance.  "I can't keep--"

"--For Zeus' sake, hang on to me, then."

Now desperate, she wrapped her arm around his leg.  "Don't peek," she warned.

"All right, all right… just do it, will you?"

After grabbing his leg to steady herself, she finally succeeded. 

Hearing the long drawn out hiss of urine, he smiled.  She must have been near to bursting.

Gabrielle released a long groan.  "Whew, what a relief!" 

"So, are you done?"

Suddenly it occurred to her that there were no leaves in reach.  "Uh… Ryder?"

"What is it now?"

"I need a leaf or something."

"For crying out loud."  He scanned the ground.  Seeing nothing appropriate, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief.  "Here."

She wiped herself and stood, quickly smoothing her skirt.  Holding his handkerchief carefully between her thumb and index finger, she sheepishly offered it back. 

"Ah…no.  That's all right…you keep it."

Shrugging, she tossed it aside.  "Okay, I'm set."

"Hold on.  I have to go too."  He turned and began to urinate.

"Aren't you going to tell me not to look?" she teased.

"Well, frankly, I didn't think you were interested."

"You're right."  She smiled.  "Your virtue is safe with me."

Refastening his pants, he turned and staggered along beside her.  As they began down the road, an irritating scraping noise distracted him.  Looking down, he noticed a leaf stuck to the bottom of his boot and awkwardly tried to kick it loose.   Vigorously shaking his leg, he nearly toppled over.

Unable to restrain herself, Gabrielle burst into a fit of laughter.

Scuffing his foot roughly through the dirt, he attempted to dislodge the offensive leaf then raised his boot to make sure it was gone.  "Damn!"

"What's wrong?"

"I don't believe this…you peed on my boot."

Gabrielle squinted at the dark patches on his suede boots.  "How do you know it was me?  You peed too."

"Trust me.  I haven't peed on myself in years."

"Well, I'm sorry.  It was an accident."

"Right," he huffed.

"It's not like I go around peeing on people for the fun of it," she defended.

He stamped his foot in frustration.  "Damn, they were new too."

"It's just a few drops," she assured him.  "No one will ever notice."

He cast her a disgruntled glance.

"Come on, I didn't mean to, honest.  It's harder for a woman."  Tugging at his arm, she gave him her most forlorn expression.  "Forgive me?"

"I'll bet that puppy-dog look works for you most of the time, doesn't it?"

"With everyone but Xena," she admitted.

"And me."

"No," she grinned.  "I think it worked on you.  You're not mad at me anymore, are you?"

He laughed.  "I guess it serves me right for getting you plastered."

She swayed precariously as she looked up at the night sky.  "The stars are spinning.  I must be really drunk."

Putting his arm around her waist to steady her, he smiled.  "Seems to run in your family."

"Yeah, well, at least I can walk on my own two feet." 

"You aren't home yet," he teased.

*****

-- Chapter 12 --

"You're looking awfully cheerful for someone who was out half the night," Lila noted.

"Yeah," the bard smiled.  Her slight hangover seemed a small price to pay for glimpsing a side of Ryder that he didn't often show.   

Lila looked at her older sister with concern.  Even though it was clear Gabrielle was in much better spirits than when she'd first arrived, it worried her how much time her sister was spending at the tavern.  "You're pretty serious about him, aren't you?"

"Huh?"

"You know, Ryder.  You've been seeing a lot of him."

Gabrielle pulled nervously at a loose thread on her skirt.  "He's been a good friend to me, that's all."

"I don't mean to pry.  I just hate to see you get hurt."  She rushed on.  "Its just…well…Ryder's not very…you know…like I said, he has bad a reputation with women."

"He's been kind to me," the bard said quickly.  "I like him."

"Gab, I just want you to be careful.  He's not the type to settle down with one woman."

The bard released a heavy sigh.  "Did Mom put you up to this?"

"No, but she's worried and so is Dad."

Frowning, Gabrielle shook her head in frustration."

"Can you blame them?"  Lila defended.  "Up until now you've had practically no experience with men.  Then suddenly you start dating the town gigolo."

"We're not dating," the bard insisted.  "Trust me, there's nothing to worry about.  He's not my type."  She averted her eyes nervously.  "Anyway, I'll be leaving with Xena soon."

"Yeah, I know," Lila acknowledged sadly. 

Hearing a tinge of melancholy in her sister's voice, she laid her hand on her arm.  "What is it?"

"I guess it's silly, but I had hoped that maybe this time you'd stay."

"Lila, I--" She paused, carefully choosing her words.  "Lila, I don't fit here.  In fact, I never did.  I think it took coming back, for me to remember why I'd left."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be.  I like my life," the bard assured her.

"But don't you ever get lonely out on the road?"

"I never feel lonely when I'm with Xena." 

"I know, but don't you ever feel the need to settle down, to share your life with someone?"

"Of course.  It's just--" She hesitated, trying to decide if it was safe to open up to her sister. 

"Gab, I don't mean to tell you how to live your life, but you're missing out on so much.  Caring about one special person is such a wonderful thing.  Everyone should experience it." 

Taking a deep breath, Gabrielle turned to face her sister.  Never in her life had she felt more vulnerable.  There was so much at stake, so much more than she had risked with Ryder.  "Lila, I have experienced it…I…" Feeling the heat rise to her face, she quickly glanced away.

"But, I though you said you and Ryder were just friends."

"I'm not talking about Ryder."

"But who?  You never stay in one place long enough to--" The expression on Gabrielle's face stopped her mid-sentence.  Instantly, she knew.  "Xena?"

The bard nodded. 

"Xena?!" she exclaimed, shocked by her sister's admission.

"Lila, the way I feel when I'm with her, I--"

"--You're involved w--with Xena?" 

"It's not like that.  I--" 

The anxiety in Gabrielle's voice spoke volumes.  Taking a deep breath, Lila looked into her sister's eyes for confirmation.  "No, it's more, isn't it?  You're in love with her."

She nodded.  "With all my heart." 

"Gab, she's a woman.  You're b-both women," she stammered.

"I know.  But I can't help the way I feel."

"I can't believe this," Lila replied.  "Y--you always seemed normal."

Her sister's comment struck her like a physical blow.  "Lila, I never was 'normal'.  I've always been this way.  I--I've always felt different.  But because I was afraid of losing my family, I kept my feelings hidden so no one would find out.

The pain in Gabrielle's eyes tore at the younger woman's heart.  Taking her sister into her arms, she held her close.  "Gab, I'm so sorry.  I can't image how difficult this must be for you."

The bard pulled back tearfully.  "It's better now that I've finally come to terms with it.  I don't know how to explain it, but suddenly, things have changed for me.  For the first time in my life, I'm allowing myself to feel…really feel.  After all this time, I've finally accepted myself for who and what I really am."

Reaching out, Lila took her hand supportively.  "So, what are you going to do?"

She shrugged.

"What about Mom and Dad?  You aren't planing to tell them, are you?"

"At this point, there's no reason to.  It would only upset them."

"If it turns out that Xena loves you too, would you tell them then?"

"I'm not sure."  She clutched her hands to keep them from trembling.  "I haven't thought that far, but I guess if I wanted them to be a part of my life, I'd have to."

Lila released a heavy sigh.  "Gab, you're my sister and I love you, but if others found out, they just wouldn't understand.  It could make you an outcast. Please, before you do anything rash, think about what you'd be risking."

Gabrielle met her sister's eyes unflinchingly, her conviction clear.  "If I thought Xena cared for me in the same way, I'd do whatever it took to be with her."

"You'd give up everything?"

"In a heartbeat.  Wouldn't you give everything up for Graham?"

"But Xena?  Why?"

"She's changed my life…touched my heart. From the first day I met her, it was as if she stepped out of my dreams.  She's everything I ever wanted…brave…and dependable…and strong…and funny…and caring and sometimes even vulnerable.  There are so many things I love about her."

"So, when she comes, are you going to tell her how you feel?"

The bard raked her fingers through her hair.  "I'm not sure.  I don't know if I can get up the courage.  A part of me is terrified that if she knew, I'd lose her friendship…and then there's this other part that dreams she…." 

Her sister nodded in understanding.  "I know it's not the same but, it was hard for me to tell Graham too."

"So, how did you do it?"

"Well…" She paused.  "For a long time I couldn't.  It wasn't until--" She smiled warmly as she remembered.  "This one day he showed up unexpectedly when I was working in the garden.  You should have seen me.  I was such a mess, covered in dirt from head to toe.  I was so embarrassed to have him see me that way.  But it was as if he didn't even notice.  He just smiled and reached out to help me to my feet."  Lila blushed at the memory.  "The look in his eyes was so loving I--" She sighed happily.  "Anyway, that brief glimpse into his heart gave me the courage to tell him."

"If only I could know how Xena felt."

"Anyone can see that she cares about you.  Maybe you just need to do something to get her attention…make her take notice."

"Like what?"

"I don't know."  She paused to think.  "You could get dressed up."

"Xena never notices things like that."

"Hmm."  Lila gazed at her sister thoughtfully.  "We could do something different with your hair-- curl or braid it."   

Gabrielle's face lit up.  "Or maybe something a little bolder." 

"Bolder?"

The blonde nodded.  "Let's cut it short."

"Isn't that a little drastic?" she protested. 

"Maybe, but it's bound to get her attention." 

"But it's so beautiful," Lila objected.  Reaching out she lightly ran her fingers through it. 

Gabrielle took a deep breath.  "Maybe it's time for a change."

Drawing the bard's hair back, Lila tried to envision how the new cut would look.  "You know, I never noticed, but you have a great neck."

Gabrielle smiled.  "Three times is a charm."

"Huh?"

"It's just, you're the third person to tell me that.  Maybe it's meant to be."  She cast her sister a beseeching look.  "So what do you say?  Will you help?"

Lila rolled her eyes and pulled her father's knife from the sheath on the wall.  "Who am I to stand in the way of destiny?"

*****

"Wow, look at you!"  Ryder walked slowly around her, checking the new cut out from all angles.  "It' looks terrific.  Really sexy."

Rose approached with their drinks and smiled.  "It really does look very nice."

"Thanks Rose."  She blushed shyly and turned to Ryder.  "Do you think she'll like it?" 

"How can she not?"  He smiled.  "I can't get over how much older you look…quite a change.  You definitely made the right decision."

"I made another too."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I've decided to tell her."

"I have to say, I admire your courage."

"What courage?  I'm terrified.  I haven't got a clue how I'm going to do it."

"The answer seems obvious to me."

"Oh?"

"You're a bard, after all.  Aren't word's your thing?" 

She lowered her mug and looked at him, her mind flashing back to her first encounter with the prophet.  "Words?"

"Your special talent is storytelling, right?"

"But, this is different.  What if I get tongue-tied?"

"The written word can be very powerful too.  Why don't you write her?"

"Write her?"

"Yeah, a love letter.  If you put your feelings in a letter, you don't have to worry about the words coming out wrong.  You don't even have to be there when she reads it."

"You know Ryder, that's a good idea." 

"You don't have to sound so surprised.  I do have them on occasion, you know."

She smiled softly and met his eyes.  "Can I ask you something…something personal?"

"Would saying no stop you?"

She blushed hotly. 

"Come on.  Go ahead, ask.  After peeing on my boot, I guess there isn't anything we can't share."

"It's just…well…I was wondering…is there anything I can do…anything else I can change to make myself more…more desirable to her?"

Ryder took her hands in his.  "Just be yourself.  Trust me, you can't go wrong."  

Bending forward, she kissed him lightly on the cheek.  "Ryder, I think Rose is a very lucky woman."

*****

It was dark by the time Xena arrived in the small farming community.  Seeing the warm glow of candlelight inside Gabrielle's house, she nervously stepped up to the door and knocked. 

"Xena!  What a surprise!"  Lila exclaimed as she motioned her in. 

"Is there something wrong?"  Hecuba asked hurrying over to them.  "We weren't expecting you until after the wedding."

"Everything's fine, I had to run an errand for my brother so I came back a little early."  The warrior looked anxiously past them.  "Is Gabrielle awake?"

Setting his pipe on the table, Herodotus spoke up gruffly.  "She's at the tavern."

"The tavern?"  Xena repeated, unable to mask her surprise.

"Yeah, she's been going there almost every night."  Lila responded, a plan quickly formulating in her mind.  "There's this guy."

The young woman's casual statement hit the warrior like a blow to the stomach.  For a moment, she feared her knees would buckle.

"We've been a little concerned," Hecuba added nervously.  "This boy she's been seeing…he's…well…he's not--"

"--Not what?"  Xena asked tensely.

Lila broke in.  "Mom's trying to say that he has a bad reputation with women."  She paused to let the information sink in.  "I warned Gab about him, but she insists on seeing him."

Herodotus rose angrily from his chair.  "I tell you, the girl's completely lost her senses."

"Maybe you could talk to her," Hecuba asked gently.

The warrior's head reeled.  "I--"

Hecuba broke in nervously.  "--It's just that Gabrielle thinks so highly of you."

Xena's heart clenched in her chest.  How serious had things gotten between Gabrielle and this boy for her family to be asking for help?  Suddenly she felt as if her entire world was crumbling around her.  It was all she could do to force the words to reassure the bard's distraught mother.  "Gabrielle's a good judge of character.  Maybe--"

"--He's nothing but a philanderer!"  Herodotus barked.  "And everyone in town knows it."  Struggling to control his temper, he looked up at Xena.  "She won't listen to any of us.  Maybe you can talk some sense into her."

Shifting uneasily, she took a deep breath.  "I'd like to help, but it's really not my place to interfere.  Gabrielle knows her own mind.  Her instincts about people are good."

Disappointed but resigned, Hecuba turned to Lila.  "Help Xena bring her things inside.  She must be tired from her trip."

"That's kind of you but I won't be staying long."

"Suit yourself," Herodotus replied, abruptly walking away.

Wishing she'd never come, Xena turned and slipped quietly through the door.  Outside of the house, she stopped and leaned against the rail, her stomach suddenly queasy. She'd been a fool to think Gabrielle could ever return her feelings.  Inhaling deeply, she quickly made her way to the barn.  Once she was inside, the walls seemed to close in around her.  She couldn't stay, not now.  What was the point?  The dream was over.  She'd been deluding herself.  Grabbing Argo's blanket, she spread it across the mare's back and reached for her saddle.

Lila stood frozen in the doorway, watching.  Although she'd been there for only a few moments, two things became instantly clear: the warrior obviously cared more for her sister than she let on, and, that in trying to make Xena jealous, she only succeeded in pushing her away. Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward signaling her presence. Somehow, she had to make this right.

Caught off guard, Xena spun around anxiously. 

"I didn't mean to intrude.  I just wanted a moment alone with you without my parents around.  I know they acted a little odd…but they're worried about Gab."

"Just how bad is this guy Lila?  Do they have cause to worry?"

Lila paused, unsure how to respond.  If she said yes, would Xena stay long enough for her sister to straighten everything out or would she leave anyway.  "Maybe," Lila hedged.  "But not for the reasons they think."  She took a step toward the warrior.  "Please, just stay the night.  You can talk to her in the morning."

Xena shook her head.  "Gabrielle's a smart woman, I'm sure she knows what she's doing."  Turning away, she tightened Argo's saddle and slipped her bridle on. 

"B--but you can't leave yet." Lila stuttered as she frantically searched her mind for a way to stall her.

The warrior pulled Argo toward the door.  "My business here is finished."

"W--what should I tell Gabrielle?" she stammered.

Flooded with emotion, Xena could barely reply.  "Just tell her I had to go."  Putting her foot in the stirrup, she gracefully mounted.

"But when will you be back?"

"I don't know."  Gently, she urged Argo forward.

"Wait!  Please!"

The desperation in the young woman's voice brought the warrior to an abrupt halt.

Taking a relieved breath, Lila ran to her side.  The only thing she knew to do now was tell Xena the truth.  It was the only way she could think of to keep the warrior from leaving.  "There's so much you don't understand…so much about Gabrielle that you don't know.  She cares so very much for--"

The barn door creaked as Hecuba entered.

Turning to her mother, the last word of Lila's sentence died in her throat. 

"Xena, I don't mean to trouble you," Hecuba said meekly.  "I'm sure after all the time you and Gabrielle have spent together you probably know her better than any of us.  But something's wrong.  Ever since you left for Amphipolis, she hasn't been herself.  I'm really concerned.  I can see you're in a hurry to get on your way, but if you could stop by to see her on your way out of town…talk to her…make sure she's okay.  I would feel so much better about things."

Moving to her mother's side, Lila met the warrior's eyes.  "Please."

*****

Standing outside the tavern, Xena's keen hearing honed in on her friend's laughter amidst the boisterous crowd.  The musical sound that in the past had always lifted her spirits now stabbed painfully at her heart.  It was clear Lila and Hecuba were mistaken about the bard being distressed.  Gabrielle had never sounded happier. 

More than anything, she wanted to turn and head out of town, but she knew she couldn't.  She'd made a promise and was bound to keep it.  Placing her hand on the iron handle, she took a deep breath and pushed the door open. 

As she caught sight of the bard at the far side of the room, she was instantly struck by the change in her friend's appearance.  Gabrielle's short haircut framed her face beautifully, emphasizing the long, graceful line of her neck.  The transformation was shocking.  It revealed an entirely different side of the young woman, a sensual maturity that the warrior found incredibly alluring. 

Head tipped back in laughter the bard seemed utterly captivated with the attractive dark-haired man beside her.  Xena's heart sank.  She took an awkward step backward and contemplated leaving.

A tingling warmth raced across the surface of Gabrielle's skin, stopping her mid-sentence.  As if sensing the warrior's presence, she turned to the door and flashed a huge smile.  "Xena!"  Jumping to her feet, she ran toward her friend and hugged her affectionately.

Like a potent drug, Gabrielle's scent washed over her, leaving her weak.  Instantly, she was lost in the feel of the young woman's velvety skin.  It was all she could do to restrain herself…all she could do not to tip the bard's head back and taste the creamy, soft flesh of her exposed neck. 

Pushing the thought from her mind, Xena struggled to calm her racing heart. 

"I didn't expect you so soon!" Gabrielle exclaimed, smiling up at her brightly. 

Utterly entranced by the radiant blonde, the warrior had trouble finding her voice.

Sensing that something was amiss, the bard's brow furrowed with concern.  "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I…ah… I just had an errand to run.  Everything's fine.  I'll explain later."

"We can go and find someplace quiet to talk," Gabrielle offered.

"No, It can wait.  I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You didn't.  I'm so glad to see you."  Grabbing the warrior's arm, she urged her forward.  "There's someone I'd like you to meet."  She motioned to a handsome man seated at the table.  "This is my friend Ryder."  She turned to the dark-haired man, her face nearly glowing with pride.  "Ryder, this is Xena."

"Nice to meet you," he greeted, stretching out his hand.  "Please…join us."

"Thanks."  She moved to the seat across from the bard and sat down. 

"Back early, aren't you?" he commented.

There was something about his casual familiarity that she found unsettling. "I had some business to attend to," she replied stiffly.

"Oh?  And here I thought you might have been missing your friend.  She's such great company.  You've been a lucky woman to have had her as a traveling companion." 

Noting his use of the past tense, Xena forced a smile.

Ryder continued.  "She's not only beautiful but also utterly charming don't you think?"

Kicking him under the table, Gabrielle turned to the warrior.  "Xena, would you like a drink?"

"No, thanks, I'm kind of tired."

"Awww, come on," Ryder coaxed.  "You can rest tomorrow." 

The petite brunette seated beside Ryder piped up cheerfully.  "Gabrielle's been sharing stories of your adventures.  She's such a wonderful bard."

"Yes, she is," Xena agreed.

The stocky man to her left eyed the warrior with obvious admiration.  "Have you really done all the incredible things she told us?"

"Probably not," Xena smiled.  "Sometimes Gabrielle has a tendency to embellish her tales a bit."

"So you didn't really defeat a giant with a bolt of lightening?" the woman asked.

"Well…actually, that part is true."

"Wow!" the young man exclaimed.

"That's nothing," Ryder interjected.  "Once I had to scale the side of the gorge while trying to escape an irate husband."

"Find yourself doing that often?"  Xena asked, her annoyance clear.

"Nah," he winked, flashing a mischievous smile.  "I hardly ever get caught."  Pausing thoughtfully, he continued.  "Of course, there was that one time…."

He went on, telling one bawdy story after another.  With each tale, Xena became more and more ill at ease. 

Gabrielle, on the other hand, seemed almost giddy with pleasure.  Taking in his every word, she laughed heartily at each of his sordid exploits.

Hearing a door open in the back of the room, Xena watched a red-haired woman enter and head their way.   

Ryder smiled as she approached.  "Ah, Rose…as always, your timing is perfect.  I’ll have a--"

Not allowing him to finish, she dropped the balled-up material she was holding onto the table in front of him.

Startled, he looked down to see a pair of underwear.  "What’s this?"

"As if you didn't know."

"Well, obviously, they're women's breeches, but why are you giving them to me?"

"Seemed a pretty good bet that you might know who they belonged to."

Disturbed by yet another example of his indiscretion, Xena looked to the bard for her reaction.

Gabrielle stared mutely into her drink.

Rising from his seat, Ryder held the underwear up to his waist.  In a comical display he pretended to seriously study them.

Xena glanced up, not bothering to mask her disapproval.  Immediately her eyes fell to the intricate stitches on the left-hand side, stitches made by her own hand.  There wasn't a doubt in her mind that they were Gabrielle's.

"Not really my size, Rose," Ryder joked.  "Or color, for that matter."  He smiled innocently as everyone at his table broke into laughter…everyone except, Xena and Gabrielle.

"I'm glad you find this humorous," Rose retorted angrily.  "I was not nearly as amused when Tana found them outside this evening."  She began to walk away, then turned.  "Next time be decent enough to take your activities to a more private spot, will you?"

"Now you've done it, Ryder," one of his friends teased.  "Rose took off without taking our drink order." 

Unbearably uncomfortable, Gabrielle spoke up.  "I'll go up to the bar and give her our order."

Seeing her obvious distress, Ryder rose from his seat.  "I'll help."

As they approached the bar, he bent to her ear.  "Don't be so glum.  No one's the wiser."

"No one except Xena.  She recognized them."

His eyes widened in surprise.  "Well, that's good news, isn't it?  She must be watching you pretty closely to know what your breeches look like."

She shook her head in frustration.  "Xena mended them for me.  She noticed the black thread on the side."  Lowering her head to her hands, she groaned, "Gods… I can't believe this."

"Hey, take it easy.  It's not so bad."

"What do you mean, not 'so bad'?  She thinks I've been doing…who knows what outside the tavern.  How am I ever going to explain this?"

"Hold up," he said soothingly.  "If you're just friends, then why should she care about your little escapade?"

"It's humiliating, that's why.  She's embarrassed for me."

He handed her the tray of glasses.  "Listen, don't sweat it.  It'll be fine." 

After they took their places at the table, Gabrielle began pouring ale for everyone.

Ryder covered his glass with his hand.  "No more for me.  I really should get going.  If I'm late for work one more time, I'll lose my job and my meager income.  Then I won't even have a bed to sleep in."

"Not likely."  The brunette commented wryly.

He smiled and topped off her glass.  "Ah, then you'd be kind enough to share your bed with me?"

She winked provocatively.  "You know I would."

He patted her arm.  "I knew I could count on you."  Taking the pitcher from Gabrielle, he filled his glass and raised it in toast.  "What the heck…we only live once, right." 

"For some, even once is too much," the warrior mumbled under her breath.

Smiling, he turned to her.  "How about another?"

"No, I think I've had enough.  If you'll excuse me, I had a long trip."  Standing up abruptly, Xena began to walk away.

"Wait up," the bard called as her friend rushed through the door. 

Ryder put his hand on Gabrielle's arm as she started to rise.  "Well, you're right.  You've definitely got a challenge there."

"I told you."

"Hey, don't worry.  I have great faith in your abilities." 

"Any last suggestions?"

He leaned toward her, softly whispering in her ear.  "If I were you, I'd skip the formalities and go for the kiss.  You have great talents there."

Smiling, she hugged him warmly and waved a quick goodbye to the others. 

*****

"You were pretty quiet in there," Gabrielle commented.  "Is everything okay?"

"Fine," the warrior replied curtly.

Sensing the dark-haired woman's agitation, she let the subject drop and twirled playfully.  "Notice anything different?"

Xena couldn't help smiling.  "Yeah…what brought that on?"

"I don't know.  Ryder thought that it made me look older.  What do you think?"

Bathed in the moonlight, the bard looked absolutely radiant.  Xena could barely speak.  "It's…uh…" She stumbled for words as she fought to keep her true feelings from showing.  "It suits you," she replied mildly, quickly glancing away.

Struggling to hide her disappointment at the warrior's less-than-enthusiastic reaction, she went on.  "So, what did you think of my new friends?"

Xena shrugged and continued walking. 

"I know you didn't spend much time with them but they're really nice people.  Especially Ryder.  He's been wonderful.  In the short time that I've been here, we've gotten quite close."

"I can see that."  Xena replied tightly. 

Noting the tension in the warrior's face, Gabrielle cast her a worried look.  "Are you as tired as you look?"

"Too many late nights, I guess."

"Been partying a lot, huh?"

"You know me."  Turning to the bard, she forced a smile and tried to keep the edge from her voice.  "Looks like you've had your share of fun too.  I guess you got over your uneasiness.  You seem to be fitting right in."

"With those people, maybe.  Ryder has really helped.  I feel so comfortable around him.  I--" She paused.  Something wasn't right.  The warrior was acting odd.  "I'm sorry for running on so.  It must be pretty boring for you."

"No, I'm glad you're happy, Gabrielle."  Although spoken in a whisper, the words were sincere.

As they neared the barn, Xena stopped.  "I'll stay in here for the night."

"Are you sure?"

The warrior nodded and opened the door. 

"Mind if I come in for a bit?"

"No, come ahead."

Gabrielle followed her inside and took a seat on a bail of hay.  "I know you're eager to get to sleep, but I don't think I can wait until morning to hear what brought you back ahead of schedule."

Fearing her eyes would reveal her longing and disappointment at being too late, Xena looked away.  "There's been a rash of relationships breaking up in Amphipolis.  Some of the men think a curse has been placed on their women."

The bard's eyebrows lifted in surprise. 

"I know," the warrior admitted, "it's crazy."

"Why would they think such a thing?"

"It seems that all of a sudden their women have become dissatisfied with their relationships."

"So what do you think is really going on?"

Xena shrugged.  "My guess is that the women are simply bored and little disgruntled.  Unfortunately, it's easier for the men to believe that their mates have been enchanted than to examine their part in the break-ups." 

"Then why'd you agree to help?"

"Even though I don't believe it's the work of a witch, there is something strange going on.  Almost a dozen women have left their men."

"What reasons do they give?"

"They say it's their dreams."

"Dreams?"  Gabrielle asked nervously.  "When did this start?" 

Xena shrugged.  "Shortly after I left you here."

"Who's been affected?  Anyone I know?"

Xena handed the bard the long list of names.  "All of them say that they were visited by a spirit while they slept."

Gabrielle gripped the parchment tightly to keep her hands from trembling.  This was all too coincidental.  "Visited how?  W--what did the spirit do to them?"

"I don't think it did anything…except make them feel discontented with their relationships."

The bard looked down at the list.  "I know most of these women.  They're pretty level-headed."

"Odd, isn't it?"

Still puzzling over the names, the bard nodded.  "So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to start by meeting with the person they think is responsible."

"Who's that?"

"A tall, silver-haired woman.  She claims to be some sort of prophet." 

"Xena, I've met Asia, talked to her.  She does have a special gift."  Seeing the doubt in her friend's eyes, she rushed on.  "Really, she's told me things…things she never could have known."

"Gabrielle, it's a trick.  There's always a reasonable explanation."

Not knowing how to defend the prophet without revealing herself, the bard changed tactics.  "What possible motivation could she have?"

"Dinars.  That's what it usually comes down to with these charlatans."

"She'd never do something like that," the bard protested.  "They're just threatened by her free spirit, her unconventional ways.  It makes her an easy scapegoat, that's all."

Xena shrugged.  "I ran into her in the tavern here the night before I left for Amphipolis.  I can't explain it but I don't trust her.  Anyway, that's why I'm here.  They sent a considerable sum with me to persuade her to reverse the spell."

"And you're actually going to present their offer?" the bard asked incredulously.

"I don't have much choice.  I told Toris that I would." 

"Toris is involved in this?" 

"Sort of.  His girlfriend had a dream too."  The warrior lifted a hand to her mouth, stifling a yawn.

The uncharacteristic action troubled Gabrielle.  "What about you?  Have you been sleeping all right?"

Seeing the unspoken question in her friend's eyes, Xena smiled.  "Don't give me that look.  Spirits haven't been visiting me.  In fact, lately I can't even recall dreaming."    

The warrior's words failed to put the young woman's mind at ease.  She had never seen her friend looking so weary.  "When are you going to see the prophet?"

"I thought I'd go first thing in the morning." 

"Mind if I come along?"

"No, I was hoping you would."

"Great, then it's settled.  I'll see you in the morning."  Reluctantly, she turned to leave, then stopped.  "Xena, I'm glad you're back.  I missed you."

Remembering Hecuba's concern, Xena looked more closely at her young companion.  "How have things been going for you here?  You okay?"

The bard smiled.  "I am now." 

As Gabrielle entered her bedroom, her heart felt a thousand times lighter.  Just having the warrior nearby made her feel better.  And although their reunion had been a little awkward at first, once they'd begun to talk, it was as if they'd never been apart.  She smiled happily.  They even had a mystery to solve. 

Her thoughts drifted to the prophet.  Somehow, she had to convince Xena that Asia was not causing the trouble in Amphipolis.

*****

-- Chapter 13 --

"You're up early," the warrior commented. 

"Yeah, well, I though you might be hungry."  Reaching out, Gabrielle handed her a plate of food. 

"Thanks--I am."  Taking a bite of the warm bread covered with honey, Xena looked up curiously.  "Aren't you having any?"

"Nah, that's okay."  As the bard watched her friend eat, she couldn't help noticing the dark circles under the warrior's eyes.  "You still don't look rested.  Did you have trouble sleeping last night?"

"I was feeling a little edgy.  I ended up walking most of the night."  Seeing the concern in Gabrielle's eyes, she quickly changed the subject.  "Hey, this is really great bread.  I'll bet you made it." 

"Yeah, I put honey on it…the way you like it."

"Mmmm, I noticed."  As the warrior raised it to her mouth, a drop of the syrupy confection dropped to her thigh.   

Unable to tear her eyes from it, the bard stood, mesmerized. 

Xena glanced at her friend curiously.  "What is it?"

Pulled from her trance, Gabrielle pointed.  "You…uh…you spilled a little."  Swallowing hard, she collected it on the tip of her index finger and paused, the desire to taste it nearly overpowering.  Instead, she quickly wiped it on her skirt.  Suddenly, her stomach gurgled loudly.

"I heard that."  Rolling her eyes, she handed Gabrielle a piece of bread.  "There's plenty, share it with me."   

Grateful for the diversion, the bard eagerly took a bite. 

Xena smiled.

"What?  Did I drip?"

"No, I just enjoy watching you eat, that's all.  You put your whole body into it."

Embarrassed, the bard laughed.  "Funny, Ryder said almost the same thing when we had dinner the other night." 

Disturbed by the thought, the warrior awkwardly glanced down at her plate.  As much as she hated to discuss her friend's relationship with Ryder, she couldn't put it off any longer.  She'd promised bard's mother.  "So, you've been spending quite a bit of time together?"

The young woman nodded and took another bite.

"I…I guess you must really care a lot about him."

Sensing from the warrior's tone that Xena suspected she and Ryder were more than friends, she stiffened and cursed silently.  It was those damned breeches.  Releasing a heavy sigh she turned to face her companion.  As foolish as the incident made her look, she couldn't allow Xena to think that she and Ryder had had some passionate tryst outside the tavern.  She had to tell her the truth…but how much of the truth?  Was it time to tell her friend how she truly felt?  "Xena, there's something I want to explain."  She clasped her hands nervously.  "Damn, this is so hard…I--" She stopped and inhaled deeply. 

"Gabrielle, I know this is none of my business and I wouldn't be asking, but your mother--"

"--What about her?"

"When I arrived last night, she asked me to talk to you about Ryder."

"I can't believe this!"   Gabrielle exclaimed her irritation clear.

"She's worried about you."

"She doesn’t need to be.  I told her we were just friends."

The warrior's mind flashed to the image of Ryder holding up the bard's breeches.  Her friend's denial stabbed at her heart.  She had hoped that Gabrielle would tell her the truth; but instead, she persisted in pretending.  Xena wasn't sure which hurt more, the bard's involvement with this man or her unwillingness to confide in her.  "She seems to think it's more serious than that," the warrior stated flatly.

Gabrielle shook her head angrily.  "Why can't she just accept me as I am?  She doesn't question Lila's friends…Lila's choices."

"Your mom just wants to understand what's going on.  She loves you."

"Yeah, only because she doesn't know the half of it."

Xena paused anxiously.  "And what's that?"

The bard wanted so much to tell her…to tell her everything.  But not like this.

"Gabrielle, you can talk to me."

The young woman shook her head sadly.  How could she explain to the warrior the fear she was struggling with--the fear of losing her…the fear of losing her family?  Trying to avoid the warrior's eyes, she spoke.  "Look, this isn't your problem.  I'm sorry she put you in the middle.  I'll talk with her."

Wounded, Xena looked away.  "If we're going to talk to this prophet, maybe we should get going." 

With volumes of unspoken words between them, they walked down the road in silence.

*****

"Gabrielle."  The prophet hugged her warmly.

Returning the embrace, the blonde kissed her lightly on the cheek. 

"I love your hair," Asia declared.  "It's a good look for you."

Turning to the prophet, she winked.  "Thanks, lately I've been in the mood to try new things." 

The silver-haired woman cast her a knowing smile.  "Well, it seems to be agreeing with you."

As the warrior watched the intimate exchange, she stiffened uncomfortably.  It bothered her to see Gabrielle opening up to this woman, especially after having known her for such a short time.  Something about Asia made her uneasy and although she couldn't put her finger on it, her instincts told her that the prophet should not be trusted.

The bard spoke up, interrupting her thoughts.  "Asia, this is Xena.  I believe you've met."

"Yes, briefly."  She smiled and held out her hand.  "I thought our paths might cross again." 

"I'm sure you did," the warrior responded coolly.

Asia awkwardly lowered her arm and met Xena's eyes.  "Since you're obviously not here to visit, why don't you tell me what can I do for you."

"I've come to bring you an offer."  Pulling out the coin purse, the warrior cast it onto the table.

"I'm listening."

Xena handed her the list of names.  "These women say they've been visited by spirits in their dreams.  Their men believe that a curse has been put on them.  They'd like you to travel back to Amphipolis with me to remove it."

"You don't believe there's a curse though, do you?"

"No, I don't," the warrior replied bluntly.  "But clearly someone put that idea in their heads."

"Someone?"  Asia smiled.  "Come now, don't mince words.  It doesn't suit you.  You think that I've scammed them."

Gabrielle spoke up quickly.  "No, of course n--"

"--Yes, I do," Xena interrupted.

"Then why are you paying me to remove a curse that you don't believe in?"

"The men have asked me to approach you on their behalf.  If it were me," she said.  "I wouldn't give you the time of day."

"And you expect me to go with you under those conditions?"

The warrior glanced at the coin purse.  "It's a lot of dinars.  Easy pickings for you."

Looking into her eyes, Asia tossed her the purse.  "I suggest you go take this back to them."

"I'd think about it, if I were you," the warrior said as she set the dinars and note on the table.

"Yes, but you aren't me."

Not bothering to respond, Xena opened the door, and left.  

Glancing up apologetically, Gabrielle turned and quickly followed.

*****

"Xena, wait!" 

Agitated, the warrior stopped abruptly and spun to face her. 

The bard raised her hands in frustration.  "What was that all about?  How can you expect her to come with us after what you said in there?"

Xena shrugged.  "She's in it for the money.  She'll change her mind--don't worry."

"I don't think so, not after you were so rude to her."

"If that's the case, then so be it."  She paused.  "I have a bad feeling about her, Gabrielle."

"Well, maybe, for once, your feeling is wrong."

The warrior tensed, her friend's comment hitting her like a slap in the face.

"I want to understand," Gabrielle said, softening her tone.  "Tell me why you don't like her."

"I've run into dozens of her kind, not one of them legitimate."

"That doesn't mean she's not."

"I told you.  I don't trust her."

"What about me?  Do you trust me?"

"You know I do.  That doesn't have anything to do with this."

"But it does.  This time I'm asking you to trust my instincts."  She met the warrior's eyes.  "Xena, I like her.  She's been a good friend to me."

Hurt and angry, the warrior spoke without thinking.  "Like Ryder, a…a man that you've barely known a fortnight is your good friend?"

The venom in the Xena's words shocked her, but she held her ground.  "As a matter of fact, yes.  And what's wrong with that?"

Ashamed, the warrior lowered her eyes.  "Nothing.  Listen, Gabrielle, I'm sorry."  She pressed her fingers to her temples as her head throbbed painfully.   

Concerned, the bard lightly brushed her arm.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm just tired.  I…I need sleep."  Eyes filled with regret, she looked up at the bard.  "I'm really sorry about the way I acted.  If you want, I'll go back and apologize to her."  

"Forget it."  Gabrielle gently squeezed her friend's shoulder.  "Xena, I'm worried about you."

"I just need some rest, that's all."

"Why don't you go back to the house and try to get some sleep?  I've got something I have to take care of, then I'll meet you there."

Nodding, Xena turned and headed down the road.  Once the bard was out of sight, she cut up into the woods.  Her mind was racing.  She needed time alone, time to think.  She winced as she recalled the hurt look in Gabrielle's eyes when she'd questioned her new friendships.  Why had she spoken so cruelly?  Without even thinking, she knew the answer.  She'd allowed emotion to rule her…the worst emotion of all: jealousy. 

The image of Gabrielle and Ryder together tormented her.  She thought back to the moment that the bard had tried to explain their relationship.  Why had she interrupted her?  She'd known Gabrielle would be angry about her mother's interference, so why had she brought it up?   The reason was painfully clear.  For one terrifying moment, she was sure that Gabrielle was about to tell her the one thing in the entire world she could not bear to hear.

*****

The bard knocked lightly on Asia's door.

"Come in, Gabrielle."

Embarrassed, the young woman averted her eyes.  "I'm sorry about running off."

The prophet smiled.  "It's okay.  Have a seat."

"Asia, I've been thinking about the women in Amphipolis."  She swallowed nervously.  "Do you think it's connected in any way to my dreams?  Is it possible that I'm causing this in some way?" 

"Your aura is strong but not powerful enough to reach over that great a distance."  The prophet picked up the list from the table.  "Do you know any of these women, the ones being visited by spirits?"

"Most of them I've met at least briefly."

"Well, it's my guess that something ties them together.  Can you think of anything they have in common?"

The bard pondered a moment.  "Nothing I know of.  They each have different occupations, different backgrounds."  She paused.  "Most are married, but I think a few are still single." 

"We're missing something."

"Won't you reconsider traveling with us to Amphipolis to help figure out what's going on there?"

"I think not."

"I'm sorry about Xena," Gabrielle apologized.  "She's not usually so brusque.  Please, try to understand.  She's run into a lot of fakes in her travels and--"

"--You're quick to make excuses for her."

"Xena doesn't need me to defend her actions.  More often than not, her instincts are right."

"So you believe that I'm out to cheat these men too?"

"Of course not, but there has to be more to this." 

"Because the warrior thinks so?"

"You two got off to a bad start.  You got the wrong impression, that's all."

"The wrong impression, huh?"  She turned to face the bard.  "Then, normally she's not so angry, cold and unfeeling."  

"Xena's not any of those things."

"If she's so kind and understanding, then why haven't you been able to tell her how you feel?"

"I'm working on it.  In fact, last night I wrote her a letter expressing my feelings."  She paused. 

"And?"

Gabrielle released a heavy sigh.  "I changed my mind."

"I see.  Then even you are afraid of her anger."

"No, it has nothing to do with her…it's me.  It's my doubts holding me back.  I've seen no indication that she feels anything more than friendship toward me.  I don't want to put her in the position of having to spare my feelings."

"It's difficult for me to imagine her being concerned about sparing anyone's feelings."

"Xena would never deliberately hurt me.  If you knew her the way I do, you'd see how warm and caring she can be."

"I think that I've seen all I need to.  You forget that I'm a fairly good judge of character."

"That may be true, but you're wrong about her."

"I doubt that, but in any case, I'm not inclined to share her company all the way to Amphipolis."

"Please.  She hasn't been herself since she arrived.  I'm worried about her.  I've never seen her so pale…so tired.  What if there is a connection and she's been affected too?"

"I'm sure she can take care of herself."

"How can you just turn your back without even trying to help?"  Gabrielle threw up her hands in frustration.  "Please give her another a chance.  She's not the kind of person who opens up to strangers.  You haven't spent enough time with her to know what she's really like.  You aren't seeing the whole picture."

The prophet shook her head doubtfully.  "And you are?"

"Yes.  I know her," she insisted.  "If only you could see her through my--" Gabrielle stopped.  "That's it!  If I opened my mind to you, I could share my memories of her.  Then you'd know.  You could see what she's really like."

The prophet shrugged.

"It's possible, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I doubt it would change my opinion."

She met the prophet's eyes beseechingly.  "How do you know if you don't try?"

Asia remained quiet. 

The bard stretched her hands across the table.  "Are you afraid I'll prove you wrong?"  

"No."

"Well, then?"

"I should warn you that sharing memories often intensifies them.  You may see things that you didn't notice at the time, things you may not want to discover about her.  Are you ready for that?"

"Yes, I'm willing to take that chance."

"All right then."  Asia said, reaching out.  "Let's take a look at the real Xena." 

Curling her fingers around the prophet's hand, Gabrielle closed her eyes and began remembering      ~~~~~

Sweat trickled down her back as she struggled to keep up with the tall woman.  "Xena!"  Getting no response, she hollered louder.

The warrior came to an abrupt halt and turned impatiently.  "What is it?"

"We've been traveling all day.  Can't we take a break?  Stop for just a minute?"

"I'd rather keep moving," Xena replied curtly. 

"But why?  Where do we have to--"

Without answering, the warrior started walking again.

Gabrielle exhaled in frustration.  "Why do we always have to push so hard?"

Xena spun to face her, her agitation clearly visible.

Normally the warrior's stern glance would have been enough to make the bard back down and follow without question, but not this time.  She stubbornly stood her ground.  "If there's a reason, I'd like to know it.  Is that too much to ask?"

"It's going to rain tomorrow.  Travel will be slower going in the morning." 

"So?  I'm not aware of an urgent need for us anywhere."

Surprised by the bard's opposition, Xena remained silent.

"Just once, it would be nice to walk at a leisurely pace.  Aren't you hot?"  She rushed on, not allowing the dark-haired woman to reply.  "It sure looks like it. You're sweating almost as much as I am."  She sat down heavily on a nearby log.  "Why does it have to be this way?  Look at what a beautiful day it is."  She raised her arm to point at the nearly cloudless sky.  "We could have spent some time at that lake we passed this morning, enjoying the sun and water.  But, no, instead, you chose to be miserable, and, as usual, I quietly went along."  She exhaled loudly, her irritation obvious.  "Well, not today.  I'm hot and I've got a blister on the back of my heel."  She tugged at the laces of her boot.  "Go on ahead if you want, but I'm stopping to rest." 

When Xena didn't respond, Gabrielle looked up to find the warrior standing at her side. 

Kneeling down, she spoke softly.  "Let's take a look at your foot."  Gently easing the boot off, she examined the blister, then retrieved some supplies from her saddlebag. 

Watching the warrior gently tend to her foot, Gabrielle felt a sudden pang of guilt.  "I shouldn't have lost my temper.  The heat must be getting to me.  I'm--"

"--Don't apologize…you're right."  She tore a length of bandage.  "I'm used to ignoring my own discomfort.  I just didn't think."  She paused.  "This is all new to me…traveling with you." 

Applying salve to the blister, she carefully wrapped the sore heel.  "It's been a long time since I've allowed myself to think about how other people feel."  Looking up she met the young woman's eyes.  "I want to change that."

Touched, the bard lifted her hand to reach out to her friend. 

Xena quickly stood.  "From now on I want you to tell me when I'm pushing you too hard.  I'll try to be a little less driven.  But keep in mind that change doesn't happen overnight.  You know what they say about old dogs and warriors."

"Hmmm."  Gabrielle paused and pressed her finger to her lips as if trying hard to recall.  "Oh, yeah, I remember.  They hate the rain because when they get wet they smell bad."

"Very funny," Xena replied, rolling her eyes.

Brushing off her skirt, the young woman got to her feet.  "You know, bards don't like to learn new tricks either.  You're not the only one trying here."

"So I've noticed."  The warrior turned and glanced thoughtfully into the distance.  "There's an offshoot of that lake nearby.  How 'bout we check it out?"

"Sounds great!"  Taking a cautious step on her injured foot, Gabrielle gasped in surprise as Xena swept her up and placed her on Argo's back. 

"Sit back and relax.  I'll do the steering."

For the next candlemark, they weaved their way through the woods, Xena lapsing into her typical silence. 

At last, they came to a small lake, completely surrounded by steep, rocky hills.  Gabrielle broke into a smile.  "It's beautiful!" she exclaimed.  "How did you ever find this place?"

"I came across it by accident while fleeing an opponent's army."  Bending down, she carefully removed the bard's bandage.  

Gabrielle glanced at her heel, surprised by how much better it looked.  "I'm impressed."

Xena shrugged and guided the young woman gently to the ground.  "How about that swim?"

Nodding eagerly, Gabrielle quickly stripped, running into the water before Xena had her boots off.  "Gods, this feels wonderful." 

Smiling, the warrior tossed her leathers aside. 

"I think that maybe you should listen to me more often," the bard commented wryly.  

"I'll bet you do."  Diving into the water, Xena surfaced moments later near her friend. 

"Now, admit it," the bard coaxed.  "This feels great, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it's not bad," she conceded.  Turning to face the bard, she gazed at her appraisingly.

"What is it?"

"How long can you hold your breath?"

"I don't know, fairly long, I guess--I'm a pretty strong swimmer.  Why?"

"Let me see…try it."

"All right."  Taking a deep breath, Gabrielle ducked under the water.  After a considerable amount of time, she surfaced with a gasp.

Xena smiled in approval.  "That was pretty good."

"Was I being tested?"

"Kind of.  There's something here I'd like to show you, but you need to be able to hold your breath for a long time."

"Is it on the bottom?"

"Almost."  The warrior pointed to the far end of the lake.  "On that side, quite a ways down, there's an opening…an underwater tunnel that leads to a cave."

"What's in it?"

"It's hard to explain.  You have to see it to understand." 

"Then let's do it."

"It's not that easy," Xena warned.  "The cave is very difficult to reach.  We'd have to swim through a long, narrow tunnel in total darkness.  It could be dangerous, so I want you to think before jumping into this." 

Gabrielle looked at her curiously.  "This thing that you want me to see…it must be pretty special."

"It is to me."

"Do you think I can do it?" the bard asked, searching her companion's eyes.

"If I had any doubt, I wouldn't ask you."

Pleased by the warrior's confidence in her, she smiled.  "Okay, then."

Xena pointing to the rock cliff across the lake and began instructing her.  "Once we reach the other side, we're going to need to stop to rest before we dive down.  The water's very deep and there's no shoreline, but there is a small stone outcropping we can stand on.  The cave itself is quite far from the surface, so it's important to save your energy.  Just relax and let me pull you down and through the tunnel."

The bard nodded in understanding.

"Before we dive, we'll lock hands."  She demonstrated by reaching out and closing her fingers around the bard's slender wrist.  "Hang on to me tight.  If at any time you feel like you need air, tug my arm and I'll get you to the surface as soon as I can.  When you feel like you can't hold your breath a moment longer, slowly exhale the air from your lungs.  It'll help to ease the urgency and give you a little more time."

The bard took an anxious breath.  The thought of not being able to surface the moment she needed to was frightening.  Suddenly, she found herself questioning her swimming skills.    

Sensing her doubt, the warrior lightly grasped her shoulder.  "Gabrielle, do you trust me?" 

The young woman answered without a hint of hesitation.  "With my life."

Moved, Xena looked deeply into her friend's eyes.  "I know you can do this.  Do you still want to try?"

Gabrielle laughed nervously.  "With this build-up, how could I say no?"

The tall woman smiled.  "All right then…let's swim to the other side."

As they made their way across the lake, Gabrielle easily kept pace with the warrior's slow, even strokes.  When they reached the cliff face, she treaded water while Xena felt along the rock wall with her toes. 

Quickly locating the small foothold deep below the surface, Xena turned and pressed her heel into it as she motioned for the bard to come to her.  "I've got my foot anchored on a small ledge.  It's a good place for us to rest."  She pulled the young woman close, encircling her in her arms.

Pressed tightly to Xena, the bard felt utterly safe.  As she thought of what lay ahead, excitement coursed through her.  "Tell me, how did you ever find this cave?"

"I happened upon it by accident." 

"Whatever possessed you to swim blindly through an underwater tunnel not knowing what was at the other end?"

"Fear," the warrior answered frankly.  "The lake was surrounded by my enemy's army.  They were armed with bows.  I knew if I surfaced, they would kill me."

Gabrielle's heart raced as she pictured it.  "Gods, I'm dying to know what's down there!  Can't you even give me a hint?"

"Nope."

"Well, lets go, then."

"Okay."  Xena locked her fingers tightly around the bard's slim wrist.  "Remember--conserve energy.  Let me do the work.  We'll take three deep breaths before we go.  Ready?"

The bard nodded, taking slow, even breaths, her heart pounding with anticipation.

"One…two…three."  Diving deep under the water, the warrior pulled her along with no apparent effort. 

Gabrielle was amazed by the strength of the powerful woman's kick.  She felt the water rush over her skin as they descended at a dizzying speed, moving farther and farther from the light of the surface.  She'd never been so deep, never felt the intense pressure of water so keenly.  Venturing so far from the air she needed to survive made her suddenly realize what a vulnerable position she'd put herself in.  Steeling her courage, she looked anxiously ahead and spotted it, a narrow black opening in the stone wall before them.   

Xena grabbed the side of the entrance with her free hand and glanced back. 

Gabrielle nodded and gave her the thumbs-up sign.  

Quickly pulling her inside, the warrior instantly engulfed them in darkness.  

Without benefit of sight, the bard lost all sense of direction.  It was impossible to conceive of how Xena could find her way through the inky blackness.  Imagining sharp jagged rocks lining the tunnel, she held her free hand protectively before her.

Utterly disoriented, her chest tightened with dread.  Groping wildly, she felt nothing but water pressing in on her from all sides.  Acutely aware of the increasing weight, she feared that if they ventured much deeper, she would be crushed by it.  The farther they went, the more her sense of desperation swelled.  Suddenly the water seemed a living thing, its mouth agape as if to engulf her.  Using all her will-power, she fought the urge to pull on the warrior's arm.

As if sensing her anxiety, Xena squeezed her wrist and picked up speed.

A chilling numbness settled into Gabrielle's fingers and toes as the warrior pushed forward.  Her eyes stung from the cold.  Closing them, she concentrated on the warrior's secure grip, the point where their bodies joined.  Pulses pounding, she could almost feel the blood racing through their veins. 

Suddenly a rush of heat washed over her, shocking her senses.  A violent shiver coursed through her as they passed through a warmer current of water.  Filled with renewed hope, she opened her eyes, but there was nothing…nothing but blackness.  Asserting their need for air, her lungs ached, and for the first time real panic set in, the need to surface almost overpowering. 

Just as she was about to pull back on Xena's arm, a flash of light outlined the warrior's body.  She blinked to focus, but as quickly as it had come, it was gone.  Once again surrounded by darkness, she was left to wonder if the vision had merely been a manifestation of her frightened mind. 

As she considered it, she felt the flow of water around her slow.  Xena had eased her pace.  Suddenly, true terror set in.  Was her friend tired, lost, faced with something unexpected?  It was all she could do to resist the urge to break free and kick toward a surface she couldn't see.  She yanked back desperately on the warrior's hand. 

With a powerful jerk, she felt herself pulled rapidly forward.  Her heart pounded furiously as a wave of dizziness washed over her.  She had to have air.  Remembering Xena's words, she exhaled slowly to ease the deep-seated burning in her lungs.  The relief was fleeting.  In mere moments, the pain returned, more urgent than ever.  She couldn't wait another moment. 

Once again, she pulled on the warrior's arm.  Suddenly, her head broke the surface with a deafening splash.  She gasped, filling her lungs in huge gulps that echoed off the walls, exploding in her ears.  Attempting to get her bearings, she turned her head from side to side.  It was pitch-black.  The air felt thick and still, and for a moment she wondered if she was hallucinating, if she was actually breathing water into her lungs.   

"You okay?"  Xena whispered.

The soothing sound of her friend's voice instantly calmed her.  "I--I think so." 

Continuing to pull her along, the warrior spoke once again.  "It's shallow here.  Can you stand?" 

Still disoriented, Gabrielle managed to get her shaky legs beneath her. 

Wrapping her arm supportively around her friend's waist, Xena slowly led her out of the water. 

A rush of adrenaline surged through the bard.  "I made it!  I did it!"

"You did great," Xena said proudly.  Lightly pressing on the young woman's shoulder, she urged her down.  "Now, sit and rest." 

Pumped with adrenaline, the bard could not contain her excitement.  "I've never experienced anything like that!  I--I was terrified.  But, I never felt so alive.  What a rush!"

Xena smiled in the darkness.  "The unknown can be thrilling."

"The first time…how did you do it?  I can't imagine trying this alone."

"I was fighting for my life.  That's a great motivator."

"But it's so dark.  I can't even see my hand in front of my face."

"I can fix that.  Somewhere along here I left a torch and flint."

"You came back a second time?" the young woman asked in disbelief.

"Yes, I hoped someday I could return."  As Xena began to pull her hand from the bard's grasp, Gabrielle tightened her hold, desperate to maintain the connection.  "It's okay.  I promise, I'll be right back."  Reluctantly releasing her, the bard wrapped her arms around her knees.

Like the tunnel, the cave was completely void of light.  Digging her toes in the warm, silty soil, Gabrielle tried to ground herself as she listened intently for Xena.  The cave was utterly quiet except for the sounds of her breathing.  Concentrating harder, she detected the light footfalls of the warrior's feet.  Immediately she relaxed and breathed deeply.  The humid air was warm and smelled unusually sweet.

"I found it," Xena said softly.  "Shield your eyes.  This will seem bright at first."

As Gabrielle raised her hands to cover her face, there was a great flash of light.  She squinted, slowly spreading her fingers, and gasped.  Enveloped in golden light, the cave was so bright, that the walls around her seemed to sparkle.  In all her life she had never seen anything so magnificent. 

Long, glistening spikes of stone hung suspended from the ceiling.  Getting to her feet, she walked toward the wall for a closer look.  Wide-eyed, she ran her hand over the surface and gasped in disbelief.  "Is it gold?"  

"Um-hmm."

"But it's everywhere!"  Astounded, she looked around the cave.  "The walls, the ceiling…there's a fortune here."

"Yeah, it's even under the water." 

Gabrielle stood in awe, her eyes bright with wonder. 

"It's magical, isn't it?"  Xena declared, her tone reverent.  "Like something out of a dream."

"It's incredible.  I've never seen anything so beautiful."   

Xena nodded.  "This is a very special place to me.  I think we may be the only people to have ever seen it."

A shiver rippled over the surface of the bard's skin.  "Why me?  Why did you bring me?"

The warrior's expression softened as she looked at her friend.  "Because, I knew you'd understand.  Because I knew that once you'd seen everything, you would respect it the way I do."

"I'll never forget this," Gabrielle whispered.

The warrior smiled and motioned to the walls.  "This really isn't what I brought you here to see.  There's something else."

"There's more?!"

Xena nodded and handed her the torch.  "Yes, but I want you to see it the way I did that first time…in darkness.  I'm going back into the water.  As soon as I'm out of sight, count to one hundred, then douse the torch." 

Gabrielle nodded.  When the warrior disappeared from view, she began to count silently.  At one hundred, she put the torch out and stared into the blackness.  Suddenly, from deep under the water, a ball of light bright as the sun rushed toward the surface.  Gabrielle's breath caught as it moved toward her.  She watched, mouth agape, as Xena surfaced, her hands awash in a pure-white light that illuminated most of the cave.   

"Come into the water," the warrior urged.

The bard moved toward her as if in a trance.

"Cup your fingers together." 

As she did, Xena tipped her hands, pouring the light onto the young woman's outstretched palms.  The bard's eyes filled with wonder as she peered at her glowing hands.  Warm and silky soft, the magical substance seemed to vibrate with energy.   

She looked in awe to her friend, whose fingers were still coated in light.  "What is it?"

Xena lowered her hands into the water, and instantly the light around them went out.

"What happened?"

"Watch…" the warrior replied as she slowly swirled her hands through the water.

Gabrielle gasped as thousands of tiny flashes sparkled around her companion, before settling on the tall woman's skin like glitter.  "It…they're alive."

The warrior smiled and nodded.  "Look at your hands."

The center of the liquidly mass was dark but the part next to her skin still shone brilliantly. 

"I think the heat excites them, or maybe it's the contact with another living thing."  Xena dipped a finger into the liquid substance and gently stirred.  Immediately the glow intensified.  Coating her finger in light, Xena traced a swirling pattern down the bard's arm.

Gabrielle laughed softly.  "I can feel them tingling against my skin."

Once again, the warrior coated her finger.  This time the canvas she chose was the soft skin above Gabrielle's breasts.  With two delicate strokes, she drew a heart.  The magical liquid pulsed with light as if drawing energy from every beat.  The bard's chest rose and fell excitedly.  Xena stared in wonder, her eyes riveted on her young companion.

"Let me," Gabrielle requested, barely containing her excitement.  Pouring the remaining liquid into her left hand, she twirled her fingers through it.  Raising her arm, she gently ran her glowing fingers through the warrior's hair, leaving trails of sparkling light.  Then, once again, she dipped her fingers into the substance, coating them with light.  Reaching out, she touched the warrior's face, slowly running the tip of her index finger below the arch of her friend's brows.  The blue of Xena's eyes burst instantly to life, breathtakingly vivid.  Never had she seen anything…or anyone…so beautiful.

"Beautiful."

At first, the bard thought she'd spoken her thoughts aloud.  But it was Xena's lips that had moved.  Her eyes were riveted to Gabrielle, in a gaze so heated, that the young woman felt it rush across the surface of her skin.  Her heart raced as she watched the warrior’s eyes travel the length of her body.  In their depths she saw something, something utterly compelling, something she'd never seen before.  Her sex pulsed wildly.  Naked and aroused, she stepped back in confusion. 

~~~~~

The bard gasped.  She quickly released the prophet's hands and opened her eyes wide.  A shiver of excitement rushed through her.  "Did you see?!" she asked breathlessly. 

The prophet nodded, understanding immediately that it wasn't Xena's character to which Gabrielle referred but the desire she had seen burning in the depths of the warrior's eyes.

"In the cave, she--she wanted me.  I saw it in her eyes."  She swallowed hard, lapsing into a brief silence as she absorbed the shock.  "How could I not have noticed?"  She cast Asia a worried glance.  "Did it really happen, or is this the way I wanted it to be?"

"They're your memories, my dear."

Gabrielle closed her eyes, trying to recall the moment.  "I remember the powerful sensations I felt.  I thought it was the experience.  It was all so overwhelming, but it was so real."  Her skin flushed at the memory.  "How could I have been so blind?  How could I have missed the emotion in her eyes?"

"Maybe you weren't ready then."

Gabrielle shook her head.  "Maybe not, but I am now." 

Watching a knowing smile spread across the prophet's lips, she was struck by a realization.  "You aren't surprised by anything you saw in my memories, are you?  You knew all along that there was more to Xena than she allowed to show."

Asia smiled softly.  "Well, let's just say that now I'm certain of it."

"Then why--"

"--I suspected that to help me see the truth about the warrior, you would open your mind completely.  It was my hope that in doing that, you would see what you were afraid to face before."

"Then it's true…Xena does have feelings for me."

"So, it would appear."

"I don't understand.  Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Experience has taught me that it's best to allow people to come to terms with things in their own time."

Gabrielle barely heard her.  She was lost in her thoughts, lost in the memory of Xena's eyes. 

Smiling, Asia waved her hand in front of the young woman's face.  "Gabrielle?"

The bard jumped up abruptly and embraced her.  "Thank you!  Thank you so much!"  Pulling back, she squeezed Asia hands and released her.  "I've got to go.  I've got to find Xena." 

*****

-- Chapter 14 --

As the bard walked down the road to her parents' home, her heart felt so light it was as if her feet weren't touching the ground.  For the first time, it seemed there was a chance that Xena might want her. 

She slowly opened the barn door and peered inside.  Xena wasn't there.  For the next few candlemarks she anxiously searched from one end of town to the other but had no luck.  Frustrated, she headed toward the tavern.  She knew she wasn't likely to find Xena there, but it was the one place she hadn't looked.   

Crossing her fingers, she took a deep breath and entered.  The room was empty.  Disappointment washed over her. 

Rose greeted her.  "Gabrielle, what can I get you?"

"Hi, Rose."  Weary from her search, she took a seat.  "A cup of tea sounds nice." 

The redhead returned with two steaming mugs.  "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," she smiled, pulling out the chair beside her. 

Handing the bard her tea, she sat down.  "So, what have you been up to?"

"I'm looking for Xena.  You haven't seen her, have you?"

"Sorry, I haven't seen much of anyone today.  It's been really slow."  She shrugged.  "I guess people are trying to get their work done before the rain hits."

The bard glanced over toward the corner table.  "Ryder hasn't been in either, huh?"

"No, but I doubt it's work keeping him away," Rose commented wryly.  "He's not one to let anything interfere with a good time."

"Maybe he just likes it here," Gabrielle defended.

"I'm sure."  The barmaid winked.  "It is a good place for him to pick up women."

"I don't know…I think there's more to it than that.  Maybe he--"

Rose cut her off.  "Don't let him get to you, too."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just that Ryder has a way of drawing women to him.  I think he brings out their maternal instincts.  He's like some stray dog they feel compelled to take care of.  Then, before they know it, he's dumping them and moving on to someone else."  She set her mug down.  "Believe me, I've seen a lot of women taken in by his charm."

"But not you."

"No."  She took a sip of her tea and smiled.  "I learned the difference between a stray and a wolf a long time ago."

"So you were together before?"

Rose nodded.  "When I was just a girl."  She wiped her hands nervously on her apron.  "He was my first." 

"Things didn't work out?"

The redhead shook her head and glanced away.  "I walked in on him with someone."  She looked up and shrugged.  "That was the end of it for me."

"Is that why you left town?"

Rose paused, gazing thoughtfully into her cup before answering.  "No, it wasn't my decision to leave.  My father sent me to live with my uncle."

"And that's where you met your husband?"

"Um-hmm."  She smiled softly.  "He was a very kind man, although much older than I was.  Unfortunately, he died after my second child was born."

"I'm sorry."

Rose nodded.  "It was difficult at first, but we managed.  Then last winter, when my father passed on, I decided to come back with my girls and run the tavern."

"You've done a good job raising them alone.  They're great kids."

The redhead rolled her eyes playfully.  "Yeah, on their good days."

"I saw Ryder at the lake with them the other day.  They seem to get along really well."

"Yes, he's always had a way with kids.  Maybe it's because he's never really grown up himself."

"I don't know," the bard disagreed.  "I think it's his gentle heart they respond to, especially Tana."

"She's a wild one, that kid.  She and Ryder are two of a kind."

Gabrielle smiled.  "I noticed she's pretty high-spirited, a lot more outgoing than Emma."

"Yeah, funny how two siblings can be so opposite."

The bard thought back to her interactions with Emma, the excitement in her eyes…the gentleness of her smile.  Suddenly, a startling notion occurred to her.  She glanced up at Rose.  "It's true, they don't even look much alike."

Staring into her tea, the redhead took another sip.  "I guess Tana looks more like me, where as Emma with her dark hair takes more after her--her father."

Gabrielle nodded casually as she watched the barmaid.  "It's a good combination."

"Yes."  Pushing her chair back, Rose picked up her empty mug with a trembling hand.  "Well, I guess I should get back to work." 

"Of course."  Gabrielle got up from her seat.  "Thanks for the tea."

"Any time."

"Hey, if you happen to see Xena, will you tell her that I'm looking for her?"

"Sure, will you be home?"

The bard paused a moment before answering.  "Yeah, I've just got one stop to make first."

*****

Xena stood at the top of the ridge and looked down sadly at the quiet little village.  There was no way she could give the bard the kind of life she had here.  It simply wasn't in her. 

Lost in her thoughts, she started walking towards the bard's house.  Gabrielle was right; she had to get some sleep.  Maybe a real bed was just what she needed.

She stepped up to the front door and knocked.  To her good fortune, it appeared that no one was home.  Going back to her friend's room, she closed the door and sat down on the bed.  Wearily, she began removing her armor.  As she unhooked her breastplate, she noticed a small tear in the seam of her leathers. 

"Damn," she whispered under her breath.  Rising to her feet, she went to the dresser and opened the top drawer, looking for Gabrielle's needle and thread.  Not finding them, she continued her search.  Finally, she located them in the bottom drawer and began fixing the tear.

In moments, she was finished.  Cutting the thread, she returned the bard's supplies back to their proper place.  As she began to slide the drawer closed, a piece of parchment caught her eye.  Pushing aside the clothing covering it, she revealed one of the bard's scrolls.  She paused guiltily, then pulled it out, her eyes quickly scanning the first line.

"Although finding the courage to express what you've come to mean to me is the most difficult thing I've ever done, I can no longer deny what I feel." 

Anxiously, she read on.

"I went out into the world to find myself, but it took coming home for me to see what had been in my heart all along.  By taking my hand in friendship, you changed my life forever." 

Heart pounding, the warrior continued.

"I have fallen in love with you, utterly.  From the moment the morning light touches my face until sleep finds me, my every thought is of you.  I long to be with you…and in my dreams, I am.  I have never known such desire…such sweet torment.  My body aches for want of you." 

Xena swallowed hard as her eyes rushed down the page. 

"At long last, I have embraced the feelings I had buried deep inside.  They are what sustain me now…

Where this will lead and what my future holds remain unknown.  But there is one thing I'm certain of: you alone hold my heart.  I pray that by some miracle you feel the same.  And that if you do, you will come to me."

"Forever yours, Gabrielle."

Xena's hands trembled as she flipped the letter over.  There was nothing more.  The note hadn't even been dated.  In fact, it contained precious little to help her figure out for whom it was intended. 

Folding the letter with the greatest of care, she slipped it into the top of her boot and headed out the door, sleep forgotten.

*****

Seeing her friend alongside the barn, Gabrielle called out to him.  "Hard at work, I see."

Ryder spun around, pitchfork in hand.  "Gab!  What brings you to this side of town?"

"I wanted to talk to you.  Have you got a minute?"

"Sure."  He leaned the pitchfork against the wall and wiped his brow.  "Having trouble with the letter?"

"No, I abandoned that idea.  I've decided to talk to her face-to-face instead."

"Wow, what brought that on?"

"A lot of things, but I'm not here to talk about me."  She motioned to the bench.  "Mind if I sit down?"

"No, in fact I'll join you."  He looked at her curiously.  "So, what's up?" 

"I stopped by the tavern, looking for Xena, and ended up speaking with Rose."

At the mention of the redhead's name, he turned, giving her his complete attention.

"While we were talking, something occurred to me."  She paused, trying to find the right words.

"Well?" he blurted anxiously.  "Are you going to share or just leave me in suspense?"

She inhaled deeply.  Knowing no easy way to reveal her suspicions, she decided on the direct approach.  "Ryder, is there a chance that Rose's father sent her away all those years ago because she was pregnant?"

The implication of the bard's words stunned him. 

She placed her hand on his.  "I think it's possible that Emma is your daughter."

Ryder stood up and ran his hands nervously through his hair.  "I--I don't understand.  Why wouldn't Rose tell me?"

"You said she had seen you with another girl.  Maybe she thought it was over between you."

"What it must have been like for her!"  He paced anxiously back and forth, then glanced sadly at the bard.  "She was barely fourteen summers."

"I know.  She's a very courageous woman.  It must have been very difficult."

He threw his hands in the air.  "Gods, I've wasted thirteen years, acting like an idiot."  Tears began to well in his eyes.  "I should have been there for her."  He dropped heavily to the bench. 

The bard put her arm around him, trying to comfort him.  "You still can be," she encouraged. 

Guilt-ridden, he looked away.

She gently laid her hand on his shoulder.  "Ryder, I think maybe it's time we both stopped hiding and pretending that we're something we're not.  Maybe it's time we followed our hearts."

He fell into her arms, holding her tightly.  "How am I ever going to make this right?"

Hearing the desperation in his voice, she pulled back and met his eyes.  "We'll think of something…I promise."

*****

Xena stopped dead in her tracks.  Just down the road, Gabrielle and Ryder were walking, arm-in-arm.  Although she was too far away to hear their words, even from a distance the affection in the bard's embrace was clear.  She watched sadly as he lifted the young woman into the air and happily twirled her around. 

Turning abruptly, she hurried across the square to get Argo.  There was no longer any doubt in her mind for whom the letter had been intended.

*****

Taking the back road, Xena quickly made her way out of town.  As she rounded the curve, a voice called to her.     

"What's this?  Leaving without me?" the prophet asked.

Squaring her shoulders, Xena turned to face her.  "Just as perceptive as ever, I see."

Asia smiled.  "Well, to be honest, you're really not that difficult to read."

Losing patience, the warrior pulled Argo's reins and began walking away.  "Why don't you go peddle it someplace else?"

"You won't escape your pain by running from her."

The prophet's words stopped Xena in her tracks.   

Asia continued.  "You might be able to bury your feelings when you're awake.  But when you sleep…that is, if you sleep--" 

Xena spun to confront her.  "Just how are you involved in this?!"

"I'm not the cause of your sleeping problems, if that's what you're asking."

The warrior took a threatening step forward.  "I think it's time we had a little chat."  Narrowing her eyes, she grabbed the front of the prophet's cloak.  "You'd better tell me what you know…now!"

"If I were you," Asia replied mildly, "I'd be careful what I asked for."

Xena's jaw tensed angrily as she roughly pulled the woman toward her.  "Tell me!"

Unruffled, the prophet calmly laid her hand over the warrior's tightly clenched fist.

Reeling from the contact, Xena stiffened as myriad images raced through her mind.  She staggered back, light-headed from the onslaught. 

Asia advanced with her, maintaining her grip.  "And what would you like to hear first?" she asked, her eyes no longer gray but a brilliant sapphire.  "Perhaps I should start with the identity of the spirit visiting the women of Amphipolis." 

Instantly, the warrior's grip on the prophet's cloak went slack, but Asia held on to her firmly. 

"Should I tell you why all the women who have been visited are blonde?" 

The faces of the townswomen flashed before her.  Awash with dizziness, Xena tore away.  Pressing her palms to her temples, she tried desperately to erase the vision. 

"Come now…a bright woman like you….  If you try really hard, I think you can figure it out." 

The images of each of them loomed in her mind…young…petite…blonde…characteristics they each shared with Gabrielle.  Her mind reeled.  All along, it had been Xena, reaching out in her sleep…searching for the bard.  "Stop!"

Asia stepped back, and slowly the images began to fade.  The warrior leaned against Argo to steady herself.

The prophet's voice softened.  "It's torturous to want someone so badly…someone you think can never be yours.  I understand what you're feeling better than you know."

Badly shaken, Xena awkwardly mounted her horse.

Asia took hold of Argo's bridle.  "You'll find no peace without her."

The powerful truth in the prophet's words pierced the warrior's heart.  She looked up sadly.  "It's too late.  There's nothing to be done."

"So you intend to leave her to the young gigolo?"

"Gabrielle knows what she wants."

"Yes, she does and she's willing to give up a lot to have it.  She has great courage.  You could learn a lot from her."

Xena urged her mare forward, but Argo stood fixed. 

Patting the horse lightly, Asia continued to address the warrior.  "Tell me, what if you're right about this young man's character?  What if he is all wrong for her?"

"It's not my place to interfere."

"Not even as her friend?"

"It's best for her if I go."

"You mean it's best for you.  If it was her welfare you were concerned with, you would at least stay to warn her."

The prophet's comment hit a nerve.  Xena bristled.  "What's your interest in this?  Why don't you want her with Ryder?"

"It's simple, really.  I happen to be quite fond of your bard."  She smiled and stepped back to give the warrior free passage.  Turning, the prophet slowly walked away.

Haunted by her words, Xena remained long after Asia had disappeared from sight.  Although she didn't trust her, the warrior knew that at least one thing the woman had said was true.  Running wasn't the answer.  She couldn't leave without at least trying to set things right for her friend. 

Suddenly, an idea came to her.  Maybe there was something she could do.  Pulling hard on Argo's reins, she quickly headed for the tavern.  If Ryder was the one Gabrielle truly wanted, Xena intended to see that she got him…as a changed man.

*****

As the bard entered the barn, she froze in her tracks.  Xena's belongings were gone.  She'd taken Argo and left. 

Leaning heavily against the door, Gabrielle tried to calm her racing heart.  Maybe the warrior had needed time alone…time to rest.  Quickly exiting the barn, she bent to examine the tracks.  It was too dark to read them accurately.  She'd have to wait until daybreak. 

A shiver trailed down her spine as thunder rumbled in the distance. 

Reluctantly walking to the house, she silently prayed Xena was all right.

*****

The warrior entered the tavern and quickly glanced around.  True to form, Ryder sat at his usual table, happily conversing with some young woman, a brunette this time.  Taking a deep breath, she quickly approached him. 

He looked up in surprise.  "Xena, What are you doing here?  Gab's--"

She stood over him menacingly, abruptly cutting him off.  "It's you I came to see.  I think we need to have a little talk."

Put off by her intimidating manner, he looked past her to his female companion.  "I'm afraid I'm a little busy right now.  Anyway, I think it's Gabrielle you shou--"

Digging her fingers into his shoulder, she jerked him to his feet.  "I'm sorry if it sounded like I was asking."  She looked to his latest conquest, then back to him.  "You’re quite a busy guy: a dark-haired woman yesterday afternoon, a redhead last night, Gabrielle earlier, and now a brunette. 

Ryder's companion cast him an agitated glance and got to her feet.  "I must have been crazy to think you were serious about working things out."

"Wait, I--"

"Save it for the others!" she snapped.  "I'll walk myself home." 

Irritated, he turned to Xena and smoothed out his wrinkled shirt.  "That's just great," he huffed.  "Thanks a lot." 

The warrior glared at him.  "How can you do this?"

"Truthfully, it's not easy, but I almost had her convinced.  If you hadn't interrupted us I--"

She thrust her hand out, pushing him hard against the wall.  "You little bastard."

He surprised her by smiling.  "Generally people don't pick up on that until they've known me much longer.  Gab was right about your being quick."

"Oh, you're a real charmer," she replied, her teeth clenched in anger.  "If she didn't love you so much, I'd--"

"What are you talking about?  We're just friends."

Xena exhaled in frustration and pulled the bard's note from her boot.  "Read it!" she commanded.

His eyes ran quickly down the page.  "So?  What do you want me to do about it?"

Xena shook her head angrily.  "She poured out her heart to you."

"What makes you think she wrote it for me?  I don't see my name on it."

"I saw her earlier…in your arms."

Finally understanding the warrior's confusion, he smiled.  "Jealous, are we?"

"Watch it!" she hissed, barely able to restrain her temper.

"Are all warrior's as dense as you?" 

What little remained of Xena's reserve snapped.  Her eyes flashed dangerously as her hands gripped his throat.  "I'm losing my patience," she growled.

Realizing the seriousness of his situation, he struggled to speak.  "You've got it wrong.  The letter isn't for me.  She wrote it to you."

Stunned by his words, Xena released him.

"It's you she's in love with."   

"How do you know that?" she demanded.

"How else?  She told me."

Xena's heart raced.  "If you're lying, I--"

"--Look, I may enjoy living on the edge, but I'm no fool." 

The warrior's hands trembled visibly as the full impact of his comment washed over her.

He continued to explain.  "Gabrielle couldn't get up the courage to tell you in person, so I suggested that she write you a letter."

Xena's head was reeling.  "But earlier tonight…you and she--" 

"--I told you.  We're just friends.  She was helping me get my life straightened out.  That's--"

"--Where is she now?" the warrior interrupted.

"I don't know.  She left to look for you.  Maybe she's at home."

Without a word, Xena turned and rushed out of the tavern.  

*****

As he watched the door slam closed, Ryder couldn't help smiling.

"You look pretty cheerful for a man who nearly got himself killed," Rose commented. 

"Yeah.  Looks like Gabrielle's evening is beginning to look up."  Leaning back in his seat, he took a sip of his tea and laughed.  "Damn, I'm not even this happy when I'm about to get laid."

The redhead smiled.  "That was a nice thing you did."

"Don't look so surprised," he said, gingerly rubbing his bruised neck.

Her brow furrowed.  "That looks sore.  You need a cool cloth?"

"Nah."  He waved her off and took another sip of his tea. 

"Aren't you getting a little too old for these confrontations?"

"As a matter of fact, I've been slowing down lately," he admitted.

"Could'a fooled me," she retorted.  "A blonde, a brunette and a redhead in the course of two days, and that's all I know about."

"Ah, come on!  We both know Gab's just a friend and the brunette's my sister." 

"And the redhead?"

"The truth is…you're the only woman that interests me."

She laughed nervously.  "Save it for someone that doesn't know you so well."

"You don't think I have it in me to settle down, do you?"

She shook her head doubtfully  "You?  Never."

"Care to put your money where your mouth is?"

"Don't you ever learn?" she cautioned.  "When was the last time you won a bet with me?"

"What's the matter?  Afraid you don't know me as well as you think?"

"Oh, I know you…all too well."

"All right, then," he said confidently.  "I'll bet you that I can go a full moon without a woman.  In fact, I won't even go out on a date."

She huffed sarcastically.  "You could sooner go a whole moon without food or drink."

"Then why not take the bet?"

Rose considered it for a moment.  "How would I be able to tell that you hadn't…?"

He smiled.  "You'll have to take me at my word."

"I don't think so," she replied evenly.

"Come on.  I may be a philanderer, but I've never been a liar."

"What's the wager?"

"I think we should make it worthwhile, don't you?  How about five days' pay?"

"No way!  You know I can't gamble for that kind of money.  I have the girls to support."

"Okay, you're right."  He paused, pretending to mull over an alternative.  "How about I put up five days pay against one date with you?"

"Not on your life!"   

"Why not?"

"You mean apart from my complete distaste for your lack of character and the wasteful life you've chosen?"  She began to turn away.

As much as her comment stung, he hung in.  "Afraid I might just be able to do it, huh?"

She laughed cynically.  "Not hardly."

"I think you're afraid you just might enjoy a date with me."

"No danger there."  Feeling suddenly anxious, she reached to pick up a dirty glass.  Beneath her confident exterior, she felt her pulse quicken at the thought of being Ryder's first date after going an entire moon without companionship.

"If you don't think I can do it, then what do you have to lose?" he challenged. 

Thinking how badly she needed the extra dinars, she reluctantly reconsidered.  "Five days' pay?" she confirmed, a hint of interest in her voice.

"Yep, against just one date."  He smiled as he watched her struggle with the temptation.

"Just one date…no sex?"

He winked.  "I'll leave that up to you."  Grinning, he held out his hand to seal the wager. 

She shook it firmly.

*****

With every step Xena took, she silently prayed Ryder had told her the truth.  Stopping before she turned the corner to the bard's house, she tried to calm her racing heart.  She hadn't a clue what she was going to say.  She only knew that she had to see Gabrielle…had to be near her.  

As she approached the small dwelling, her heart sank.  It was completely dark inside.  For an instant, she contemplated entering a window, but the last thing she wanted was to wake the family and cause a scene.  Releasing a heavy sigh, she led Argo to the barn.  It was maddening to think that she had to wait until morning to resolve things.  

After quickly getting her mare settled, she rolled out her bedding.  Releasing a frustrated groan, she sat down.  Ryder's words echoed in her mind.  Why hadn't she seen it?  Reaching down, she removed the bard's letter from her boot and carefully unfolded the parchment.  This time as she read, she did so with new eyes.

She thought back to the images that she'd seen when Asia clutched her hand.  They hadn't all been of the village women.  There had been other dreams too, dreams not of her making.  Her skin flushed as she realized that the smoke-and-fire dreams had to have come from the bard's fertile imagination.  Somehow, Gabrielle had reached out to her in her sleep and drawn her in.  

An idea quickly formed in her mind.  If the bard had been able to do it, then maybe….

A soft drumming sound tugged at her, pulling her from her thoughts.  It was storming.  She looked up at the roof and smiled.

"Okay, Gabrielle.  Let's see if you still want to play in the rain."  Allowing her body to relax, she closed her eyes and concentrated. 

 

CONTINUE PART 2

 

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