ForevaXena's FanFic . . .

Somewhere In Time by Friction

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Xena:  Warrior Princess, Gabrielle and all other characters that have appeared in the syndicated series are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures.  No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction.  This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way.  Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

LOVE/SEX WARNING DISCLAIMER: For some, Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship has transcended sex.  Frankly, if I began subscribing to that notion, my partner would check me for a pulse;-) For better or worse, my fantasies have not evolved beyond the romantic level, so you’re in for a fair amount of explicit sex between two consenting women.  If you're under 18, live someplace where this is illegal, or it’s not your thing please look elsewhere.  There is a lot of wonderful fan fiction of every variety to choose from.

GENRE: This story doesn’t fit anywhere neatly.   It’s semi-hurt/comfort and semi-uberxena.  Think romance.

SPECIAL WARNING: Some may find this a bit of a rocky road.   Hang in there.  I promise I’ll bring you home safely;-)

THANKS TO: (and they really deserve it.)
Many, many thanks to my three incredible proof readers/moral supporters: B L Miller, Lunacy and my partner, Pam.  This story simply would not have happened without them.  Their input made an incredible difference. 

DEDICATION: This is dedicated to my mother and father.  I hope with all my heart we will meet again... somewhere in time.

Part 2 of 6

By mid-afternoon the next day they arrived at the Amazon village.  While the bard was busy settling in, Xena went to see Ephiny.

The regent greeted her with a warm smile.  "I understand congratulations are in order."

Xena nodded and looked away uncomfortably.  It was hard to feign happiness when the person who mattered most in her life would soon be gone from it.

"Gabrielle will make a wonderful mother."  Ephiny offered.

"Yes, she will."  

Detecting an edge in the warrior’s voice, the regent glanced at her curiously. "It will be nice having you both around."

The dark-haired woman looked away nervously.  "I... I’m not staying.  I’ll be leaving in the morning."

"You know you're welcome."

"Thanks, but it’s better this way."

"Does Gabrielle know?"  The warrior glanced out the window, avoiding the regent's eyes.

"Yes, she’ll be fine.  She’s in good hands here."

"But..."

Xena interrupted, shifting her weight anxiously.  "I want to give you something for Gabrielle and the baby."  She handed Ephiny the bag of dinars from the sale of the medallion.  "It’s not much, but maybe it will help."

"I’m sure it will," Ephiny said, puzzled by the warrior's offering.  "May I ask why you don’t give it to her yourself?"

The dark-haired woman took a deep breath before answering.  "I’m not sure she would feel comfortable accepting it." 

Xena’s reply was only partially true.  Having the regent handle the matter allowed her to avoid an uncomfortable discussion she hadn't the strength to face.  She couldn’t bear the idea of talking to the bard about her departure.  Leaving Gabrielle was too painful.

"All right, I’ll see she gets it."  But, I wish you would reconsider.   Stay just a little longer."

"I can’t."  She walked toward the door and turned.  "Ephiny, thank you... for taking care of them."

In an unguarded moment, their eyes met and the regent glimpsed the sorrow Xena had tried not to show.  Ephiny's heart went out to her.  "Gabrielle is our queen.  She will always have a home here... as will you."

The warrior nodded and turned to leave, closing the door quietly behind her.

*****

Dreading her departure in the morning, Xena tossed and turned for candlemarks unable to sleep. Finally, she gave up and she stepped outside her hut, hoping the night sounds would soothe her anxiety.  She walked aimlessly, trying to think what she would say to the young woman who had come to mean so much to her.  If there were something that could be done to make this easier, she couldn’t think of it.

After a while, the warrior realized she had been walking in wide circles around Gabrielle’s hut, like an anxious lioness protecting her den.  As she passed the queen’s quarters for the fourth time that night she heard an anguished cry and burst through the door. 

Exceedingly pale, Gabrielle sat upright in bed, obviously frightened by a nightmare.  Xena was at her side instantly.

"You're safe.  I’m here."  She gently rubbed her friend’s back, in an attempt to calm her.

"It was so real.  I... I..." Gabrielle spoke breathlessly. 

Feeling her tremble, the warrior pulled her closer.  "It was only a dream," Xena soothed. 

But deep down, Gabrielle knew it hadn’t been like a dream at all.  It was more like some terrible premonition.

"It might help to talk about it," the warrior suggested.

Not wanting to worry her friend, the bard hesitated.  "You’re right, it’s... it's not real."  She slowly pulled away, trying to disguise how truly frightened she was.  

Uncomfortable leaving her friend in such a distressed state, but not knowing what else to do, Xena stood.  "I... I guess I should go.  Let you get some rest."  An awkward silence hung between them as they both thought of the warrior’s departure in the morning.  Xena turned to go.

It was now or never.  Gabrielle couldn’t stand by and watch her friend walk out of her life, especially after her dream.  "Xena..."

The warrior stopped and glanced back at her friend.

"I... I know it’s a lot to ask... but, would you consider staying... just until the baby’s born?"  The young woman's body filled with tension as she waited for the warrior's reply. 

Xena walked back to her side and sat on the edge of the bed.  "Is there something you're not telling me about your dream?"

"It's just that this... it's all so new to me. I... I'm frightened."  She glanced down shyly.  "If you can’t stay, I... I understand." 

The warrior gently lifted the young woman’s chin and looked directly into her eyes.  "Gabrielle, if you want me to stay, I will."

The bard's eyes sparkled with moisture as her face broke into a relieved smile.  The sight was so breathtaking that Xena would have traveled to Tartarus and back just to glimpse it.  "Please... I... I need you."

A wave of relief washed over the warrior.  Her friend's tearful plea gave her what she so desperately needed... not just a reason to delay her departure... but a sense of belonging like she had never known.   

The young woman fell gratefully into her arms, hugging her warmly.   In that moment, Xena knew the bard had tamed her in a way she never thought possible.  The idea of life without her friend was unimaginable.   She pulled back and gave the bard a reassuring smile.  "I’ll make arrangements with Ephiny in the morning, but now you should get some rest.  I'll see you in the morning." 

Gabrielle's eyes darted nervously as she remembered her dream.  She smiled weakly, clutching her trembling hands in her lap. 

Seeing the fear her friend tried so bravely not to show, Xena remained seated.  "If you like, I could stay here with you until you fall asleep."

"Would you?"

Xena nodded.  "Now, lay back."  

Gabrielle snuggled into the fluffy pillow and looked up with eyes full of love. The warrior's heart melted.  She reached out and brushed the bard's hand with her fingertips.  Gabrielle sighed as her eyes drifted shut.  Without thought, she gently closed her hand around Xena's.  Her body visibly relaxed, the tension slowly fading.

The warrior never left her room until dawn.

*****

Xena watched Gabrielle finish up the remains of a lunch that would have fed several hungry men. Her appetite was nothing short of phenomenal.  She was about to tease her young friend when she saw Ephiny approach. 

The regent took a seat next to her. "I’m glad you decided to stay with us for a while," Ephiny said, genuinely pleased.  "What made you change your mind?"

Embarrassed by her emotional outburst the previous night, the bard stiffened as she waited for the warrior's reply.  Xena turned to the regent and shrugged.  "Well, I figured you could use another hunter.   With Gabrielle, eating for two takes on a whole new meaning."

The bard laughed and cast her friend grateful glance.

The chemistry between the two women was not lost on the regent.  She was as puzzled as anyone when the young queen showed up in her current condition.  Like most of the Amazons, she assumed the two women were destined to be together.  The strange turn of events made her anxious to have some time alone with the queen to hear her story. 

Xena rose from the table.  "I’m on my way to meet Solari.  We’re going hunting."  She nodded to Ephiny and gently squeezed Gabrielle’s shoulder.   "I’ll see you both later."

The bard’s eyes followed the warrior until she disappeared from the room. 

The regent couldn’t help smiling.  The young woman's affection for Xena was clear.  She gave the bard a curious look.  "Seems we have a lot to catch up on.  Let’s go to my hut so we won’t be interrupted."

As they walked in awkward silence to the regent’s quarters, Gabrielle struggled to think of a way to explain everything that had happened. 

Never one to beat around the bush, Ephiny closed the door to her hut and got straight to the point.  "I see congratulations are in order."

The young woman blushed.  "Thanks."

"So, when are you due?"

"In about two moons."  She looked away shyly, not knowing how to proceed.

The regent noted her hesitance.  "Would you rather not talk about it?"

Gabrielle glanced at her sheepishly.    "No, it’s okay.  It's just... well... everything has happened so fast.  I..." She paused for a moment sitting down heavily on the edge of the bed.  Her finger's toyed nervously with the blanket as she continued.  "Seven moons ago I married a man I’d grown up with from my village."

Ephiny looked puzzled.  "I don’t remember you mentioning anyone special from your village before."

The young queen looked down at her boots.  "Well, it was rather sudden."

"That’s how love is sometimes."  The regent smiled. 

Gabrielle didn't respond.

Noting her friend's anxiety, Ephiny questioned her further.   "Where is he now?"

The bard took a deep breath.  "The day after the wedding... on the way to Poteidaia, we met an enemy.  Callisto... she... she killed him."

Ephiny was immediately sorry for bringing up painful memories.  "Gabrielle... I..."

The young woman looked at her sadly.  "He never had a chance."

"I’m truly sorry.   You must have loved him very much."

The bard went suddenly pale and lowered her head, avoiding Ephiny’s eyes.  "I... I..." Her voice quavered with emotion.

The regent moved to her side and wrapped a protective arm around her shoulder.  "Gabrielle, what is it?"

The young woman slowly turned to face her.   "I married him for the wrong reasons.  I... I never loved him.  He... he’s dead because of my selfishness."

"Gabrielle, you’re the least selfish person I know.  Things happen for a reason.  Maybe it was his time." 

"No, I’m responsible for his death and there’s more... so much you don’t know."

Ephiny gently squeezed her shoulder.  "Why did you marry him if you didn’t love him?"

"I... I was running...  I thought I could lose myself in a normal life... thought I could make him happy.  I hoped I could be happy."  She shook her head sadly.  "I was so wrong."

"We all make mistakes."

"I’ve caused Xena so much trouble.  I have no idea why she's stayed with me this long."

"Well, I haven't heard her complaining."

"No, she never would.  She's been so good to me.  She... she even sold her brother's medallion to buy the supplies we needed to travel here." 

"Your welfare is very important to her.  That much is obvious."

The bard looked stricken.   "I don’t know what I’m going to do, but somehow I’ve got to come up with the money to buy it back for her.  I can sell my scrolls, but that won’t be nearly enough.   I have to find a way to make this right with her."

The regent walked to the dresser and opened the top drawer.  "Maybe this will help."  She handed Gabrielle the bag of dinars the warrior had given her.

"Ephiny, I couldn’t..."

"It’s not mine.  Xena left instructions for me to give you this after she left.  She wanted you and the baby to have it.  I suspect it’s the money she received from the sale of the medallion."

The bard’s eyes filled with tears.

"I think she cares about you very much."

"Ephiny...  I’m losing her." 

The regent's eyes looked questioningly into Gabrielle’s.  "Why do you think Xena really delayed her departure?"

"I... I asked her.  I..."

"Maybe all she needs is for you to give her a reason to stay."

"If only you were right."

"The baby isn’t due for a while.   Don't give up yet.  Things have a way of working out.  You’ll see."

"At least I have time to try to get her medallion back.  With this and the money from my scrolls I should have enough to do it."

"In the morning, I’ll send two scouts out to take care of it."

The bard hugged her gratefully. 

Later, on the way back to her hut, Gabrielle wondered if the regent was right.  Could she convince Xena to stay indefinitely?   Was it fair to ask her?

*****

Ephiny sat puzzling about the bard and warrior for some time before she summoned Eponin.  When the Amazon arrived she quickly apprised her of the situation.  

"So, you want me to send scouts out to sell Gabrielle’s scrolls and get the medallion back?"

"Gabrielle’s scrolls are a part of her.  I can’t be a party to their sale.  I’ll figure out a way to cover the difference."

Eponin smiled.  "I’d be glad to help too."

"Getting soft in your old age?" the regent teased.

"Nah, I’ve always been this way.  You’re just too busy to notice."   Eponin tentatively watched for her reaction but Ephiny merely glanced away.  "So Xena has decided to stay then?"

The regent shrugged.  "At least for the time being."

"She seems to be settling right in.  I have to say I’m surprised.   I always thought Xena had the heart of a nomad. "

Ephiny smiled, raising a brow.   "I’d say her heart was otherwise engaged."

"Yeah, what is it with those two anyway?"

"It’s a long story," the regent replied.  "But whoever said love was blind wasn’t kidding."

"Deaf and dumb too," Eponin added, her sarcasm lost on the regent.

"I think maybe it’s time someone intervened."

The Amazon looked at her curiously.  "Do you have something in mind?"

"I might," Ephiny suggested.  "You in?"

"Are you kidding?  I wouldn’t miss this."

Remembering the warrior’s acute hearing she cupped her hands around her mouth and leaned into Eponin's ear.  By the time she'd finished, the Amazon was laughing out loud.

"I think I’m going to enjoy this."

Ephiny smiled.  "I thought you might."

"When should I start?"

"Xena’s on first shift guard duty tonight.  It’s as good a time as any."

*****

Gabrielle was surprised how quickly the warrior adapted to the pace of village life.  Her worries that Xena would get restless seemed unfounded.   During the day the warrior kept busy helping with a variety of chores, but her free time, for the most part, was spent with the bard.  Before long they had easily fallen into a comfortable routine.

Each morning when Xena came to wake her, Gabrielle would be sound asleep, curled on her side with one arm outside the blanket, as if she were reaching for something.  In what had become her morning ritual, Xena gently touched the back of her hand, coaxing it open.  When her fingers stretched, responding to the contact, the warrior lightly massaged her palm.  Gradually, the young woman's eyes would flutter open and as her world came into focus she would smile, happy to find Xena kneeling beside her.

After breakfast they took long walks, discussing their plans for the day.  The afternoons were filled with village responsibilities. 

At day’s end, their time was once again their own.  Meeting at the bard's hut, they talked about the time they had spent apart while they shared a snack Xena had collected from the kitchen.  Tonight she brought one of her friend’s favorites: nutbread.

Gabrielle smiled at the thoughtful gesture and took a big bite.  "This is great!  You have to try it."

The warrior sat at the table beside her and scratched her leg.   "Nah, I had a late dinner after guard duty."

"Come on.  You know you want it."  She lifted the remaining bite to Xena’s mouth and slowly fed her.  The tip of her index finger lightly grazing the warrior’s parted lips as she guided the last morsel between them.  Her eyes remained fixed on the dark-haired woman and a shiver passed through her as she watched Xena’s tongue collect the crumbs from her moist lips.  

The warrior was too lost in the depths of her companion's bright green eyes to notice the longing in the bard’s expression.  The candlelight seemed dim by comparison.  As Gabrielle innocently licked the crumbs from her fingers, she nervously dropped her gaze.  Swallowing hard, Xena slapped her thigh, more to break her trance than to soothe the annoying itch. 

The action took Gabrielle by surprise and she looked down quizzically at her friend’s leg.  "What are those red spots?"   Without thinking she ran her fingers over them. 

The warrior froze at her touch.  "I... ah... they’re flea bites.  I think my bed is infested with them."

"You’re kidding!"

"No, I haven’t sleep well the last fortnight."

"That’s terrible!  I’ll have someone take care of right away."

"Thanks, but don't worry about it tonight.  I'll sleep outside under the stars."  As if on cue, thunder sounded.  The entire room brightened as lightening flashed across the sky.  She turned to the bard and rolled her eyes in frustration as a steady rain began to fall.

Gabrielle laughed.  "I have a better idea.  You can sleep with me."  She blushed hotly and hurried to cover her overly eager offer.  "I...  my bed is dry... and very comfortable.   No fleas here."  She patted the firm mattress.   "First thing tomorrow, I’ll see that your hut is cleaned."

One quick glance out the window and the weary warrior quickly consented.   "Thanks."  She dropped heavily to the bed.  Within a few minutes she was sound asleep.  Gabrielle changed quietly and slid in on the opposite side taking great care not to disturb her friend.  She tried to lie along Xena's back without touching her, but her swollen belly made it impossible. The small bed was a snug fit for the two women.   

Afraid of offending her friend, she turned over, so she was now lying back to back with the warrior.  To her surprise, the sleeping woman rolled over and curled gently against her.  Gabrielle sighed and slipped into a contented sleep.

*****

The drizzling rain continued through the next day. 

After a soggy evening on guard duty Xena returned to her own room anxious to get caught up on her rest.  True to her word, Gabrielle had the warrior’s hut cleaned and her mattress replaced.  She fell gratefully into bed and inhaled the fresh scent of clean linens.  Within minutes, she drifted asleep.

An insistent knock awoke the bard.  Xena stood dripping wet in the doorway, looking cold and very tired.  Gabrielle pulled her inside.  She handed her a towel and took a dry shift from the drawer.  "Change into this.  I’ll put on some tea."  

The warrior put on the dry clothes and took a seat at the table.   "The new mattress has fleas too."

"What?"  Gabrielle said in disbelief.   Xena held out her arms revealing fresh bites.

The queen shook her head in frustration.  "I don’t understand."

"It must be where they’re storing the mattresses," the warrior commented, a frustrated edge to her voice.

"I’ll make sure you get a new one in the morning," she promised.

"No, just have it removed.  I’m going to use my own bedroll."  Xena slowly sipped her tea, enjoying its penetrating warmth. 

Gabrielle toweled the warrior’s hair dry and ran a brush through the dark tangles.  The damp, silky strands felt incredibly soft against her skin.  She leaned forward, breathing in the scent.  It was absolutely intoxicating.  Head reeling, she reluctantly stepped back and gazed at the warrior.  The dark circles under her friend's eyes concerned her.

"You look tired.  You should try to get some sleep."

"I’m too edgy to sleep.  This flea thing is driving me crazy."  The bard's sympathetic glance gave her an idea. "Maybe a good story would take my mind off this... help me relax."  

Gabrielle looked at her hesitantly.   "Ah...  Which one?"

"How about the one about the pig.  That always makes me laugh."

The bard smiled softly and started the story.  Although shaky at the beginning, in no time she found her pace, really getting into the tale.

The warrior watched her friend’s sweeping gestures as she mimicked the two sisters frantically trying to hide their pet pig so their father wouldn't butcher it.  The comedy of errors soon had Xena laughing just as hard as the first time she heard it.  She loved the way the story seemed to change a little with each telling. 

The bard quickly wrapped it up.  "I wasn’t able to sit-down for nearly a week.  But Lila had the worst of it.  She had to pull most of the prickers out of my..." 

Xena chuckled at the bard's modesty.  "Thanks Gabrielle, I really enjoyed that."

The bard’s eyes brimmed with excitement.  "That really felt good... I mean it’s been a long time.  I kinda thought I lost the knack."

"Never," the warrior assured.  "You’re a natural born storyteller.  It’s a part of you."

"Yeah, maybe you're right.  Did I ever tell you about the time..." Xena smiled as Gabrielle launched into another tale.  It was good to have the bard back.

The two friends talked late into the night until the warrior was warm and dry.  Finally, Xena yawned, unable to hide her exhaustion.

"Mind sharing your bed again?"  She asked.

The bard beamed.  "Of course not."

Once again, it wasn't long before the warrior fell soundly asleep.  Gabrielle was amazed at how quickly her friend drifted off.   It was clear that the many sleepless nights had taken their toll. 

She gazed at her companion lovingly.  Thanks to Xena she felt truly happy for the first time in months.  The young queen tenderly pulled the blanket over the exhausted woman's shoulder and lay back puzzling over the mattress problem.  First thing in the morning she planned to investigate the flea infestation.  She was determined to solve her friend's dilemma once and for all.

*****

The warrior awoke at sun up to find the bard curled in her arms.  Left to their own devices their bodies had naturally intertwined, Gabrielle’s head resting comfortably on the warrior's chest.  An incredible sense of peace settled over her and she felt herself giving into it.  She closed her eyes and went back to sleep. 

As the morning sunlight streamed into the room, the bard slowly opened her eyes.  She was surprised to find Xena still in bed and delighted to find herself in the warrior’s embrace.  Curled tightly against her back, Xena's right arm encircled the young mother's broad belly; her hand opened protectively over the center as if guarding its precious contents.   The bard sighed happily.  Nothing had ever felt so right.  For a brief moment, she allowed herself to fantasize that Xena was more than just a devoted friend and felt a rush of heat pass through her. 

She stiffened with fear.  If the warrior discovered her true feelings, she would never again let down her guard so completely... never trust her.  Taking great care not to wake her friend, she rose slowly. 

After hastily pulling on her clothes, she headed out to look for regent.  

Gabrielle found Ephiny in the dining hall.  Taking a seat beside her, she immediately began informing her about the flea situation.  

The bard was stunned when the regent merely shrugged at Xena’s problem.  "What do you mean, 'you don’t know what else to do'?" she exclaimed, her agitation obvious.

"We’ve put two different mattresses in there already."

"Well, something else needs to be done."

"Isn’t your current arrangement working?"

"Well, yes... it’s just..." 

Ephiny smiled as Gabrielle hedged.  "You don’t like sharing your bed with the warrior?" 

"It’s not that..."

"What then?" the regent questioned teasingly.  "Are you afraid Xena is going to take advantage of you?"

"Of course not.  It’s..." Gabrielle looked up to find the regent’s eyes sparkling with mischief.  Suddenly a light dawned.

"What do you know about this?  Has anyone else had a problem with fleas?"

"If they have, no one has mentioned anything to me."  She answered innocently.

Before the bard could question her further, Eponin joined them.  "Morning."  She took the empty seat next to Gabrielle.  "Where’s Xena?"

"Sleeping in.   She hasn’t gotten much rest lately."  Eponin guiltily hid her hands in her lap, but not before the young queen noticed the bites. 

Gabrielle turned to the regent.   "What’s going on?"

The two women looked at each other and spoke simultaneously.  "What do you mean?" 

Gabrielle picked up Eponin's hand.  "If Xena finds out, she’ll kill you both."

"Finds out what?"  Ephiny asked in a last ditch attempt to play innocent.   Gabrielle flashed her a stern look.   The charade was up. 

"Okay, okay..." the regent conceded.  "But, how’s she going to find out?"

"One look at the flea bites on Eponin’s hands and she’ll figure it out just like I did."

The Amazon flashed a panicked look and lowered her hands from view.  "You aren’t going to tell her, are you?"

"Well...  I’ve never kept anything from her before."

Ephiny spoke up quickly.  "If you tell her, she’ll move back into her own hut.  Is that what you want?"

"Ah... nnn...no, but..."

"You know she will," the regent warned.  "Right after she dumps Eponin in the lake."  Ephiny's statement caused the Amazon fighter to shift nervously.

"I don’t want Xena to be angry with either of you," Gabrielle said honestly.  "I... I just don't understand.  Why would you do such a thing?  She's really been miserable."

Eponin started to speak, but Ephiny interrupted her.  "It was my idea."

Gabrielle looked at the regent in disbelief.  "Why?"

"I thought you both needed a push in the right direction."  The bard stared, open-mouthed.  "You said you wanted to be closer to Xena, didn’t you?"

The Gabrielle's face flushed with color.  "I... I... yes, but I wanted it to be her idea... or... mine."

"Well in a way it was."

The bard stood up angrily.  "This has to stop!  Put a new mattress in Xena’s hut immediately."

"Are you sure that’s what you really want?"  Ephiny paused.  "My mother taught me never to look a gift horse in the mouth."

Both women winked at her. 

"At least, think it over."  The regent suggested.

Gabrielle turned on her heels and left the dining hall.  She was upset with herself for not insisting that they replace the mattress then and there.  The temptation to have Xena stay with her was too great.  She enjoyed their nights together too much to have them come to an end.  And then there was her dream... 

Unable to face the warrior, she went for a long walk.

*****

Xena felt fully rested for the first time in weeks.  She grabbed a quick breakfast and glanced around for the bard.  After speaking with some women in the dining hall, she discovered Gabrielle had eaten with Eponin.  She headed out to find them.

Nearly a candlemark later, there was no sign of her companion and she still hadn’t located the Amazon fighter.  She quickly headed toward the lake hoping to find Epinon there.    She guessed correctly.  The Amazon stood alone on the shore fishing.

"Hi."

Not having heard the warrior's approach, she turned in surprise.  "Hey Xena."  Eponin nervously gripped the fishing pole, wishing she could cover her hands without being obvious about it.

"I’m looking for Gabrielle.  Have you seen her?"

"Not since breakfast.  Maybe Ephiny knows where is."

"No, I asked.  She hasn't seen her." The warrior cast her a worried glance.  "Did she seem okay this morning?"

"I... I think so... Really, I’m sure everything’s fine."

"You're probably right.  It’s only been a few candlemarks."

"Yeah, she probably went for a walk or something."

Xena shrugged.  "How’s the fishing?"

"Not having much luck I'm afraid."

As the warrior walked over to her, Eponin quickly pulled her line in.

"What kind of bait you using?  Maybe that’s the problem.  Let me see..." Reaching for the pole, Xena caught a glimpse of the Amazon's hands, her face hardened. 

Eponin took a step backward.  The warrior glared at her. 

"It... it’s not what it seems," the Amazon stammered.

Xena's eyes narrowed.  "And what is it exactly?"

Eponin stepped around a large rock, putting some space between them.  "I... I was just trying to help you out... I..."

"Help me!?"  The warrior's voice was menacing.  "Do you know how many miserable nights I had?"

"Ah...  yeah I know, but..." Eponin continued to back away.

Xena slowly began to make her way toward the rock.  "But what?"

"Well... I... I... thought you might like staying with Gabrielle."

The warrior stopped dead in her tracks.  "You what?" 

"I... well... that is... Haven’t you enjoyed staying with Gabrielle?"

Xena advanced on the Amazon not bothering to reply.

*****

Gabrielle knocked on Ephiny’s door.

The regent cheerfully invited her in.  "Hi, I’m glad you stopped by." 

"I wanted to apologize for storming off earlier.  It’s just... well... you never should have done that to Xena."

Ephiny shrugged.  "Maybe you’re right.  But we were trying to help you."

"I know."   Gabrielle said shyly.

"So have you decided what you want us to do?"

"No, I’ve been walking around all morning.  I... I don’t know what to do."  She sat on the bed and looked up at her friend.   "Ephiny, I don’t want her to leave.  I’m in love with her."

Although this was hardly news to the regent, she could see that it was a difficult admission for the young woman.

The bard blushed.  "What would you do?"

The regent shrugged.  "I think if I was you, I’d have her belongings moved in.  See how things play out."

"But I feel like I’m deceiving her."

"For what it’s worth, I think Xena loves you too."

The bard released a heavy sigh.  "There is a big difference between the love of a friend and the love of ... well, you know."

"In this case, maybe not as big as you think."  Ephiny smiled.  "Give her a chance to get used to the closeness. She’s put up walls, but I think you’re breaking through.  Why don’t you wait and see how things go?"

"Okay, I’ll try it."  Gabrielle took a deep breath.  "Have someone move her things in."

"It would be my pleasure."  The regent placed a hand on her shoulder in support of her decision.  "Oh, I almost forgot.  I’ve got something for you."   She pulled the medallion out of the drawer beside her bed.

"You got it!"  The bard hugged her.  "Thank you!"

"So when are you going to give it to her?"

"Not for a while."  Gabrielle looked up anxiously, her expression suddenly serious.  She took a small piece of parchment from her pouch and wrapped it around the necklace.  

"Ephiny, I have another favor to ask.  Will you keep the medallion and this note for me?  I want to give them to Xena after the baby's born."

"Sure...  Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," She met the regent's eyes.  "I think so."

*****

Xena entered the queen's hut, still agitated from her interaction with Eponin.  "Gabrielle, do you know where my belongings are?  Someone took them out of my hut."

The bard pointed meekly to the corner of the room.  "I... I had them moved in.  I... I mean... you’ve been spending so much time here I...  well... I thought it would be easier..." She felt her face heat.  "I’m sorry.  I'll have them moved back."

Her friend’s thoughtfulness melted her heart along with her anger.  The warrior wasn't fooling anyone, including herself.   She wanted to stay.  "No... It was a good idea.  Thanks."

"Really, I’m sorry.  I should have asked first I..."

"You know..." the warrior teased.   "This means that you’ll have to clear out a drawer for me."

Gabrielle took a relieved breath.  "I already have."  She went to the dresser and pulled open the top drawer.

Xena smiled.  "I guess I’ll get unpacked then."

"Can I help?"

"Sure, there are a few things in the saddlebags over there."   The bard began unpacking her friend's scant belongings.  She folded the garments neatly and placed them lovingly in the drawer.  As she reached into the bottom of the second saddlebag, her fingers brushed an oddly shaped object. 

When she pulled it out she was stunned to find a pudgy little stuffed version of Argo. Every detail was precise, right down to the hooves.  It was incredibly soft, as if filled with down.  She smiled and turned to face Xena.

The warrior froze when she saw what Gabrielle was holding.  "I... I made it... for the baby... I"

Before she could finish, the bard was embracing her in an enthusiastic hug.  Xena awkwardly accepted the bubbly affection.  

"The baby will love it," the bard beamed.  "Thanks."

The warrior nodded shyly and quickly changed the subject.  "Hey, you want to get some lunch?  It’s been a while since you ate." 

The young woman walked across the room and placed the stuffed horse prominently on her bedside table.  Food was the last thing on her mind.

*****

The bard tossed and turned.  Finding a comfortable sleeping position was becoming more and more difficult in the final stages of her pregnancy.

"Gabrielle, are you okay?"

"I’m sorry.  Did I wake you?"

"No, but I can see you're uncomfortable.   Turn on you side and I’ll rub your back."  The warrior’s gentle fingers lovingly massaged the young woman's tight muscles.  

As the tension slowly eased, Gabrielle groaned in relief.  "Mmm, you do that so well.  Where’d you learn that?"

"I don’t know," Xena shrugged.  "When you’ve been injured as many times as I have you get to know what makes things feel better." 

The bard looked up at her friend her expression suddenly serious.   "You’ve taken such good care of me... I wish I could be there for you sometimes too."

The warrior touched her cheek lightly.  "You are and always have been."  For a moment, their eyes met in understanding.  Xena quickly looked away.  "Why don’t you try leaning back against me?" 

Gabrielle carefully repositioned herself, settling against the warrior softness.  Their bodies fit perfectly as if the spot was made for her.

"How’s that?"  The dark-haired woman questioned.

"Mmm, much better."

"Okay, let’s try to get some sleep."

In no time they both drifted off, Xena’s right arm wrapped protectively around the bard, her hand across her swollen abdomen.  Gabrielle’s own hand held it gently in place.  

In the middle of the night, a sudden movement startled the warrior out of her sound sleep.  It took a few moments before she realized that it was the baby's kick that woke her.  There it was again...another kick.  Xena let her hand gently rub over the bard's middle, soothing both mother and child.  Releasing a contented sigh, she snuggled closer, burying her nose into the bard's soft golden hair.

It was the last night either of them had trouble sleeping.

*****

Gabrielle spent the afternoon watching Xena train an eager group of young Amazons.  Afterward they went back to their hut.

"It never ceases to amaze me that these women literally wait in line to take a pounding from you.  I swear half the Amazons in this village are in love with you."

Xena laughed.  "Gabrielle, there’s a difference between love and lust."

"Yeah?... What?"

The warrior rolled her eyes, ignoring her question.

"Seriously, I want to know what you think the difference is?"

"You’re the bard, the one who writes all the romantic stories.  You know more about those things than I do."

"But I’m curious what you think."

Xena sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the stuffed horse, nervously toying with it.  "Lust is physical and love is... well... love is emotional."  She shifted anxiously.

So the Amazons are attracted to you physically but not emotionally?" 

"Yeah.  They don’t know me.  It’s not love.  There’s no caring, no commitment, no sacrifice."

"Then, lust is not as fulfilling as love?"

"Well... no, but lust can be very nice too."  Xena smiled. 

The mischievous look in the warrior’s eyes made the young woman’s heart beat faster.  "I guess you’ve done your share of lusting, huh?"  Gabrielle asked shyly.

"I guess so," Xena admitted.  "Haven’t you?"

"Ummm...  sure."  Gabrielle blushed, unable to hide her embarrassment.

"So who have you lusted after, my friend?" the warrior teased, knowing that there were few...if any...that her companion had desired.

Heat rose to the young woman’s cheeks, coloring them bright red.  "Errr... ah... no one you know."

It wasn't the answer Xena was expecting.  She looked at the bard puzzled.  "What about Perdicus?"

"No.  I... It wasn’t really like that.  I cared about him but..." She quickly shifted the direction of their conversation.   " Xena, have you ever felt both lust and love for someone?"

The warrior clutched at the stuffed horse and tried to think of a humorous reply to cover her growing anxiety.  None came to her.  Suddenly, she felt terribly uncomfortable.

The bard looked at her curiously.  "You have, haven’t you?" 

Xena choose to ignore her question.  "Gabrielle, aren’t you hungry?  I could get you something from the kitchen and bring it back."

"Was it Marcus?"

"No."

"Hercules?"

"No!  Look, I really don’t want to discuss this."  The warrior snapped.

"I... I didn’t mean to pry."  The bard looked away to disguise her hurt.  Xena was immediately sorry.

"Gabrielle, it’s just hard for me to talk about.  I didn’t mean to be harsh.  I... I’m sorry."  She reached out and took her friend’s hand.  Instantly, she realized she'd made a mistake.  Her flesh burned from the contact.  Their eyes met and the warrior felt a jolt to her core.  She pulled her hand back.

"Xena?"

In one extended glance the warrior had revealed her heart.  Gabrielle stared at her companion in amazement, understanding at last, what neither had been able to admit.

Trying to put some distance between them, Xena stood up, but it was too late... the truth had been revealed.   Gabrielle’s eyes followed her with a new awareness.  Slowly she slid her legs over the side of the bed.  The warrior backed away nervously as the bard slowly approached.

There was something in the young woman’s eyes, a look of complete confidence that made Xena’s pulse quicken.   Her legs felt weak as she backed away.  After several steps, she bumped into the wall of the hut and gratefully leaned against it for support. 

The bard’s eyes remained fixed on her.  Xena couldn't move.  The look of utter wonder on the young woman's face held her firmly in place. 

Gabrielle slowly closed the distance between them, stopping only a few feet away.  The truth reflected in the warrior’s eyes, plain as day.  Why had it taken her so long to see it?  She took a breath and gathered her nerve.  "It’s been me, all along.   Hasn’t it?"

Xena’s glance dropped helplessly to the floor.  Gabrielle lifted her hand to the warrior’s face.

The heat of the bard's touch sent a charge through her.  She looked helplessly at her young friend.

Gabrielle peered into the depths of her companion’s blue eyes as she spoke.  "I’m the one you love.  I’m the one you want." 

The sensation of the bard's hand on her skin was dizzying.  Her love for the young woman was the only constant in her life.  How could she deny it?  She diverted her eyes and took a deep breath.  Her heart raced as she summoned her courage, slowly raising her eyes to meet the blonde's.

Gabrielle gazed up at her with complete adoration.  "Xena, forgive me.  I’ve been so stupid.  I was confused."  She moved closer, so close that the warrior imagined she could feel warmth radiating from her skin. 

The bard continued.  "I’ve always known what was in my heart.  I was just afraid to face it, so I ran."  She gently squeezed the warrior's hand.   "I...  I’m not afraid anymore.  I know exactly what I want, exactly who I want... who I’ve always wanted."  The young woman tilted her face up, her lips only a hair's breadth away from Xena's. 

Adrenaline pumped through the warrior. The moment was electric. 

"It’s you.  It's always been you."  Gabrielle whispered.  

A wave of desire enveloped her as the bard stretched to kiss her.  The soft pressure of the young woman's lips was exquisite. Xena had never known such pleasure. The tight knot in her chest gave way as the bard’s warmth spread through her, flooding her body with sensation. 

There was nothing to do but surrender. 

Gabrielle moaned in ecstasy.  The sublime sound echoed in Xena’s mind. She went weak, her legs faltering.  The union of their bodies sent shocks of pleasure through her. It was shear bliss.  She dug her fingers into the wall behind her, clinging desperately for support; afraid she would fall if she let go.

Gabrielle felt no fear, only need.  Her hands moved hungrily up the warrior's sides, her fingers exploring each contour as if setting them to memory.      

Xena's heart pounded furiously as the bard’s fingers caressed the sloping curves of her breasts. She gasped, her erotic trance broken.  Her trembling hands released the wall and settled tentatively on the young woman’s hips.   Regaining control, she pulled the bard forward with a gentle but insistent pressure. 

Gabrielle melted in her grasp, falling softly into her.  "Oh Xena... yes." Breathless with desire, she urged her on.  Lightly nipping at the warrior’s lips, she silently entreated them to part.  They did, willingly.  Xena moaned as the bard slid her tongue inside, tasting her for the first time. It was Elyssia.  Suddenly, the bard’s innocent exploration became increasingly passionate.

It was an embrace neither could retreat from.   Xena let the soft caresses of her tongue speak her heart and the bard silently answered back, rocking against her, thrilling at the contact.  Her fingers pressed into the warrior’s muscled shoulders as she leaned against her, holding her fast, desperate to communicate her urgency.

Xena capitulated to the tender assault.  Her body succumbing to the glorious invasion, leaving no doubt that she was Gabrielle’s completely and utterly.

The bard’s swollen belly pressed insistently against the warrior’s lower abdomen.  Incredible sensations pulsed wildly through Xena’s center, forcing a guttural moan.  It was sheer ecstasy.  Gabrielle’s fingers tangled in her hair and she pressed firmly into the kiss, swallowing the warrior’s cry.   Xena moaned over and over, her pleasure incomparable. 

Suddenly Gabrielle pushed away hard, breaking the contact.  The dark-haired woman was dizzy, awash with desire.  The quick separation left her aching.  The look of confusion in the bard’s eyes frightened her.   Xena’s heart hammered as she struggled to speak, her voice hoarse with passion.  "Gabrielle?"

The young woman looked down at the floor, her face still flush with desire.  The warrior’s eyes followed hers to a small puddle between them.  Warm fluid streamed down the inside of Gabrielle’s leg.

"My... my water broke."

Her fevered body still in control, Xena’s mind was slow to register the meaning of the young woman’s words.  The bard tenderly caressed the warrior's cheek, bringing her back to her senses.  "Great timing, huh?"

The shy smile on the bard's face helped to ease her concern.  Xena scooped her up in her arms and carried her to the bed.  Gabrielle responded by nuzzling her face into the warrior’s neck, moving her lips over the soft skin. 

With the greatest care, she laid the young woman down and kissed her lightly on the forehead.  Handing her a towel from the bedside table, she took several deep breaths to calm her racing heart.   "Are you okay?"

"I’ve never been better." Gabrielle replied sincerely.  "I never felt anything so wonderful."  Xena smiled lightly stroking her hair.  "Please lay beside me.  I need to feel you close." 

The warrior slipped onto the bed, facing her and lightly caressed the young woman’s cheek.

The bard spoke, her voice husky with desire.  "I have dreamt of that for such a long time: you kissing me, carrying me off."  Xena smiled softly and traced Gabrielle’s lips with her finger. 

The bard brushed the tip with her tongue.  "I want to you to kiss me again."  Without pause, she slid her hands behind the warrior’s neck and pulled her in.  The bard’s kiss was searing in its intensity. 

Xena's body throbbed with excitement.  She gasped and suddenly broke the kiss.  "Gabrielle, I...  I’m...  I can’t think. We need to stop."   

"Pleeease."  The bard purred.

"I... I can’t... I need to watch for signs.  Make sure you’re all right."

Gabrielle smiled mischievously.  Loving the effect she had on the warrior.

"What is it?"  Xena asked.

"It’s just that in all my fantasies you were always so forceful, so in control.   I never imagined you would be so incredibly gentle."

And then it happened, something she had yet to see; Xena blushed.  "I... I don’t want to hurt you.  I..." The warrior's voice quavered.

The love the bard felt for her companion at that moment was immeasurable.  She took the powerful hands in her own, running her thumbs lightly over Xena’s palms.  "You won’t, I promise.  Please...  one more kiss."  Gabrielle’s voice was soft and coaxing.  Xena couldn’t say no, she was lost in the depths of the bard’s eyes.  She kissed her tenderly, struggling to restrain her passion.

The bard was less successful controlling her need.  She had wanted the warrior for so long that she could think of nothing but Xena, feel nothing but Xena.  Her hand slid down the warrior’s thigh mindlessly caressing the taut muscle.  The dark-haired woman released a low moan.

Suddenly Gabrielle stiffened, breaking the kiss.  She clenched her teeth as the first contraction rolled through her. 

Xena eased her gently onto her back.  "It’s okay.  This won’t last long.  Easy now, ride it out." 

As the warrior had promised, just as quickly as it came, it was gone.   "Phew" Gabrielle exclaimed, exhaling deeply.  "I... I think the baby wants out."

"So it seems.  Have the contractions stopped?"

"Yeah." Gabrielle took a long breath.  "Where were we?"

Xena shook her head.  She couldn’t help smiling at the young woman’s determination.  "Later."

"You promise?"

"You have my word."  She bent to kiss her forehead.  "After the baby’s born and you're feeling better.  But until then you’ll have to behave.  I need to keep track of your contractions."

Gabrielle laughed.  "It was never like this in my fantasies."

"Nor mine."   Xena replied.

"You fantasized about me?" The bard asked surprised.

"Oh yeah."

"How?  Tell me."

"You first."  The warrior dodged.

"I already told you, remember... sweeping me off my feet and taking me to bed... kissing me passionately."

"Just kissing?" Xena teased.

"No, there was a lot more."  The bard blushed.  "But you were always in control."

"Is that what you want?" she asked rather surprised. 

The bard swallowed and shyly met her eyes.  "Yes."

The warrior smiled and gently pushed a stray strand of blonde hair back into place.  "I’ll keep that in mind..."

Gabrielle looked at her hesitantly.  "There’s something I need to talk to you about before this goes any farther."

"What is it?"

"Well I... I haven’t been exactly truthful."

The warrior was unable to mask her concern.   "What do you mean?"

"I...  I don’t want any deceptions between us."  Xena held her breath in anticipation. 

"It’s about the fleas..."

The warrior exhaled in relief.  "I know all about the fleas."

"You do?"

"Mmhmm"

"Xena, I... I didn’t know about Ephiny's plan right away.  When I found out, I should have told you but I... I liked sharing my bed with you... I"

The warrior smiled.  "Gabrielle, I liked it too."

"You aren’t angry?"

"No, although Eponin had a nice swim when I found out."  She grinned.

"Yeah, I heard.  Poor Eponin, we probably should thank her."

The warrior leaned back against the headboard.  "Not now.  Come here." Gently she eased Gabrielle back against her.  Sighing softly, the young woman melted into her protective embrace.

*****

Her labor progressed smoothly.  Perhaps a little faster than had been the warrior’s experience with other first-time pregnancies.  But otherwise, it seemed fairly typical.  In fact, the only thing out of the ordinary was Xena’s behavior.  She was as antsy as a cat.  When she wasn’t holding Gabrielle’s hand, she paced back and forth beside the bed.  The bard had never seen her in such an excited state.  

She smiled.  "You’re going to wear yourself out." 

Xena sat down on the bed and adjusted the pillow under the bard’s legs.  "Are you comfortable?  Want me to rub your back?"

Gabrielle looked at her companion warmly.  "No I’m fine, just a little nervous."

To keep the bard’s thoughts off the painful contractions, Xena shared some experiences from her childhood.  It warmed Gabrielle’s heart to hear about the early part of the warrior’s life.  She understood what an effort it was for Xena to open up and it meant a great deal to her.  There was no doubt in the young woman’s mind how much both she and her child meant to the warrior. Her friend had proven it day in and day out by lovingly seeing to her every need.

Gabrielle closed her eyes tightly as another contraction seized her.  She tried her best to be strong for the warrior, but after enduring many candlemarks of cramping muscles, she was beginning to tire.  In this final stage of labor, her contractions were quite close, leaving her little time in between to rest.   Xena left her side just long enough to ask a passing Amazon to get the midwives, then immediately returned.

The young woman grimaced as her pain increased in both strength and duration.  She squeezed Xena’s hand until it subsided then relaxed, slowly catching her breath.  The warrior dabbed her forehead with a cool cloth.  "You're doing great."

The blonde smiled.  "I’m so glad you're here."  Her expression turned serious.  "Xena, if anything goes wrong... if something happens...  I need you to know how much I..."

"Everything is going to be fine."  The warrior promised.

The next contraction followed closely on the heels of the last and Gabrielle clutched Xena’s hand tightly.  When at last it let up, she looked up anxiously at the warrior.  "I wish I had your strength, your courage."

"Gabrielle, you’re the bravest person I know."  It took all of Xena’s self control to hold back a wave of emotions threatening to break through.  She would have done anything to make it easier for the bard, to take the pain from her friend.  As the torturous contractions gripped Gabrielle, Xena winced.  Seeing her companion suffer distressed her, especially when there was little she could do to help. With every cry she felt the bard’s pain as surely as if she were the one delivering the baby.

Despite the physical strain, the petite woman's hands seemed to gain strength.  She repeatedly squeezed Xena’s fingers as each contraction seized her.  Ignoring her own discomfort, the warrior whispered gentle words of encouragement and love.

At last, the midwife called from the end of the bed.  "I can see the head.  I want you to push now."    Xena held Gabrielle in her arms, giving the young woman something to bear down on.  The bard clenched her teeth and pushed with all her strength.  Gradually she felt the baby’s head slide past her opening. 

Xena’s attention never left her.  Gently wiping the bard's brow, she tried to encourage her.  "You’re almost there Gabrielle.   Just a little bit more."

The young woman was drained.  The pain in her abdomen was searing, but she gave it all she had.   With every contraction it worsened.  The voices around her sounded as though they were coming from the bottom of a well.    She heard Xena telling her 'just one more push, you can do it' but it seemed too much to bear. 

"I can't," she cried, her head falling back against Xena's chest.  "I’m so tired."

"Yes... you can," the warrior urged. "Just one more push.  Soon this will be over and you can rest but right now you need to push... please." 

Drawing strength from the strong arms holding her, the bard gritted her teeth and poured all her energy into one last push.   Suddenly the shoulders where through and the midwife slowly guided the infant out.

"It’s a girl!"  The healer exclaimed.

"A girl... "  Gabrielle spoke breathlessly.  "Is she okay?"

"Perfect." 

Xena broke into a full smile and kissed her weary partner lightly on the cheek.

A second midwife busily cleaned the child who let out a hearty cry.  Gabrielle laughed, tears of joy streamed down her cheeks.  The healer brought the baby to her mother’s side.

"Look..." Gabrielle said softly, her voice filled with wonder.  "She’s beautiful.  Isn’t she?" 

Xena’s eyes moistened as she glanced from Gabrielle to the child.  "The most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen," the warrior said proudly.

The young woman focused on her companion, her eyes brimming with love.  "Xena, I’ve found my soulmate... in you."

"Gabrielle, I..." She looked tenderly into the young woman’s eyes, intending to open her heart, to reveal her very soul.  But the lack of color in the bard’s cheeks distracted her.  She seemed exceedingly pale.   The warrior examined her carefully then turned to the midwife whose expression reflected her concern.

"Xena, I feel so cold."

"It’s okay, rest now."  The warrior squeezed her friend’s hand reassuringly and approached the midwife.  The healer motioned to the afterbirth.  A stream of bright red blood oozed from the young woman's opening.  Gabrielle had torn deep inside. 

The midwife looked desperately at Xena.  "I... I can’t stop it.  The packing isn’t working."

The warrior washed her hands and took the midwife's place.  She tried everything she knew to stop the bleeding.  Nothing she did helped.  There was so much blood.  Gabrielle was slipping from her.

"Xena..." The young woman’s voice was barely audible.

"I’m here Gabrielle.  I’m right here.  I need you to fight.  Hang on, don’t let go." 

The bard struggled to keep her eyes open.  She was so tired.  Xena’s voice became more and more distant until she had to strain to hear the faintest trace.  She tried to open her eyes, but it proved to be too much of an effort.  Finally the warrior's voice drifted off, impossible to focus on.

Xena watched in horror as the young woman’s eyes drifted shut.  Her breathing became more and more shallow, finally stopping.  In a panic she pressed her lips to the bard’s, forcing in air over and over again.  "Gabrielle!  Come on, breathe!...  Breathe!"  Xena continued exhaling into her lungs.   Time lost all meaning.  There was nothing but Gabrielle, breathing for Gabrielle.

It was nearly a candlemark later when she felt a hand on her shoulder.  It was Ephiny.   The midwives had gone for her, hoping she could console the warrior.  Tears streamed down the regent’s face. 

"Xena, it’s time to stop.  You have to let her go.  She’s... "

The warrior shook her head violently.  "No!...  She’s fighting!  We have to keep trying!"  She renewed her efforts.   "Gabrielle, please..."

Ephiny grabbed her arm gently.  "Xena, she’s gone.  I’m sorry..." 

The warrior laid her head on Gabrielle’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around her protectively.  She whispered quietly into her ear. "Don’t go... please..."

The bard lay motionless, unresponsive.

*****

Xena stayed with her into the night and through the next day, never leaving her side.  She prayed to the gods of Olympus over and over again, begging for their help. 

None responded. 

On the third day Ephiny came to her, fearing for the warrior’s life.  Xena had not eaten in days.  She looked drawn, haunted.  The regent knelt beside her and gently pushed the tangle of damp hair from her face.  The warrior’s vacant expression was frightening. 

She spoke in a soothing tone in an effort to console her.  "Let me take care of her.  It’s time to let her pass on.  Xena stared ahead blankly, as if she couldn’t understand the regent’s words.  Ephiny reached for her hands to pull her to her feet and abruptly stopped.  Looking down, the warrior saw why.  Her hands were striped in dried blood, Gabrielle’s blood. 

Xena fled.

She raced into the woods, tearing through the thick foliage.  Her feet pounded savagely in the soft earth.  She ran from the pain of her loss and the horror of her reality.  Weak and dehydrated, she pushed herself beyond human endurance; afraid to stop, terrified to let it all catch up with her. 

Finally, her body, pushed past its limits, failed her.  Her foot caught in a tangle of roots, bringing her to her knees.

All at once, the pain locked deep within her heart let loose.  Her sorrow tore from her throat in a savage cry.  "NOOOO!!!"  She fell forward, pressing her face to the cool earth. 

As she raised her face, she once again saw the blood on her hands.  Trembling uncontrollably, she began wiping them through the thick grass until the sharp edges sliced at her skin, drawing fresh blood to cover the old.  

Blood.  Over and over throughout her life, it came back to the blood, the death.  She was responsible for so many lost lives and now, one more.  The one she would never be able to live without.  

She pulled out her breast dagger and rose to her feet.  Inhaling deeply, she rolled the hilt in her hands almost lovingly, the decision made.   Arms extended, she positioned the blade over her heart.  Looking to the sky, she prepared to thrust the dagger into her chest.  She spoke, her voice barely a whisper.  "Gabrielle, forgive me."

A strong blow hit her from the side knocking her to the ground, momentarily stunning her.  The dagger flew from her hand and landed several feet away.  Ephiny was astride her.  With a powerful thrust, Xena threw her off. 

The regent got quickly to her feet, and placed herself between the warrior and the dagger.  "Xena, stop!   Think about what you’re doing!  This is the last thing Gabrielle would want."

The weight of Xena’s sorrow was staggering.  Without her companion, her life had lost all meaning.  Her pain surged, demanding release. 

Ephiny stood between her and the one thing that would end her misery: her dagger.  The warrior felt a rush of anger.  It was cleansing to let her pain transform into rage.  She allowed it to consume her.  With all of her strength, she lashed out at the only target available.  Like a panther, she lunged at the regent, knocking her down.

Ephiny hit the ground hard, the air leaving her lungs in a sudden rush.   The regent struggled fiercely barely able to fend off the powerful blows.  Xena was out of her mind.  Ephiny knew she didn’t stand a chance against her.  Xena was merely invigorated by the Amazon's resistance.  It fueled her rage. 

In a last desperate effort the regent stopped fighting and went completely limp. 

She groaned as Xena’s fist landed solidly on her jaw.  Once again, the warrior raised her fist to strike, then suddenly stopped.  Blood leaked from Ephiny's lips.  The regent watched Xena’s expression change almost instantly from rage to horror.  The warrior rolled off the Amazon and buried her face in her hands.

"I’m sorry ...  I..." 

Ephiny slowly approached her.    "I’m sorry too.  I know how much you loved her."  The depth of anguish in Xena’s eyes was alarming.  In that moment, the regent glimpsed the magnitude of the warrior's loss.  She doubted anything could make the broken woman go on living without her companion.

Xena looked past her desperately, her eyes fixed on the sharp blade of her dagger.  Ephiny quickly pulled out the parchment the bard had left in her care and placed it in the warrior’s hand.

"Gabrielle wanted you to have this."  The regent slowly turned, giving her space.  There was nothing more she could do. 

With trembling hands, Xena raised the cloth to her lips.  The smell of the parchment was achingly reminiscent of her bard.  Her fingers lovingly grazed the surface as she carefully unfolded it.  Lyceus’ medallion lay in the center.  She clutched it in disbelief as her eyes fell to the familiar script.

...................................................................................................................................................................

My love,

I couldn’t let you give up Lyceus’ medallion.  I know how much it meant to you.  That you would sell it for me...   I don’t have words.   My heart is filled with such love for you. 

I am so sorry for the way I handled things.  It was a terrible mistake marrying Perdicus.  I was afraid.  My feelings for you were so strong.   I never dreamed that you could love me in return, so I tried to put distance between us to help me forget.  

It was futile.   As I stood in the temple, watching you walk out of my life, I understood that there was nowhere for me to hide, no place I could go to forget you, no refuge in all the world from my love for you.

When you were gone my heart was broken.  I would have given anything to have you back.

You see, I loved you from the start.  From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were the one. Imposing and fearless, you were... and will always be larger than life to me, more breathtaking than any goddess.  I will hold that image of you forever.

That first day, my heart was irrevocably lost.  I’m only sorry it took me so long to find my way.  Please know that it was always you...  you I loved, you I wanted.

Please don’t blame yourself.  You were always there for me, doing everything in your power to keep me safe.  Nothing could have prevented this...not even you.   It is my destiny.

I need to know that you will go on.  You have an inner courage that will see you through.  Trust in yourself the way you always did in me.  What an incredible life I had, enveloped in your light.  The brightness in your soul outshone every star in the sky.  No matter how bad things got, I could always look to you and pull from your strength.  Use it now to see you through.  

In my premonition my daughter survived me.  It gives me such joy to know that she will live on.  The night she was conceived my thoughts were of you... I felt you: around me, inside me, a presence I could never mistake. Even as she grew inside of me I knew... we were both blessed by you.

Please take care of her as I dreamed we would do together.  She is the key.  You're stronger together than apart. 

I am not afraid of death for I know that someday, somehow you will find me and we will be together. Until then I’ll be waiting, dreaming of you.  Keep me in your heart and hold on.

Forever yours, Gabrielle

...................................................................................................................................................................

Xena’s eyes burned from the heat of her tears.  She buried her head in her hands.  The cloth parchment clutched in her grasp.  Something snapped deep inside as the weight of her grief overcame her.  She fell to her knees and wept with such force that she thought the shear intensity of it would tear her apart.

Her loss washed over her in agonizing waves: a pain more cruel than death for her memories remained intact, reminding her, tormenting her very soul.  Gone was the only person she had ever loved, the only one to love her for who... and what she truly was.  Gabrielle had embraced her for her strengths and her weaknesses.  The bard had glimpsed the heart of the darkness within her and somehow seen a glimmer of light. 

The world was once again a cold and lonely place.  She longed for the dreamless sleep death offered.  But as desperately as she wanted to give up, she could not.  She would go on to watch over the only thing of importance left in her world, Gabrielle’s daughter.

*****

Midwives surrounded the youngest Amazon, enchanted by the beauty of the small child.  Soft dark hair framed her angelic face.  The young apprentice turned to her elder.  "She has incredible eyes.  I’ve never seen a newborn with eyes like hers."

The midwife nodded.  "Yes, it’s amazing.  She has eyes like...  like her mother's." 

The women were so intent on the child that no one saw Xena standing in the doorway.  A hush fell over the room when she entered.  Gently, she took the child in her arms. Looking upon the warrior and child, there was no question in any of their minds that Xena was now the parent to this special child. They slowly backed away giving her space.

She held the small bundle tenderly and gazed into her perfect little face.  The infants green eyes weren’t like Gabrielle’s.  They were Gabrielle’s.  She pressed her lips gently to the child’s forehead and handed her carefully back to the midwife. 

Without a word she left the room.

*****

Xena laid her sword and chakram on the dais of Artemis’ temple.   In a soundless whisper she spoke the goddess’ name.  A shimmering light wavered in front of her as Artemis appeared.

The warrior’s grief was clearly evident.  She made no effort to mask the depth of her pain and desperation.

"Xena, I am truly sorry for your loss."

"Help me.  Revive her."

"I can’t."

"There must be something...   If only I had it to do over again, I'd do things differently.  Please!   If you help me, I can make things right. I won't let her follow me.  I’ll send her back to Poteidaia.  I’ll find a way to save her."

"I’m sorry.   I can’t change what has passed." 

She closed her eyes, her heart full of despair.  "I'll do anything you ask."   Xena dropped to her knees, bowing her head.  Artemis laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.  "Please.  I beg you... take me in her place."

"Your life is not finished.  You have much to do."

"She is my life!"

"Gabrielle is not lost to you.  Her spirit remains."  Xena eyes widened in understanding.

"Her child."

"Yes.  Her soul is bound to the child and will pass through time, through many generations.  Gabrielle’s essence lives in her."

"Then there is a way." 

The goddess released a heavy breath.  "Possibly." 

"Tell me how?"

 "I can create a tear in time that will allow you to pass through to the point in the future that I feel her essence is strongest.   From there, you would have to locate her."

"Get me through and I promise I’ll find her. 

"I'm afraid it's not that easy.  There are risks you must consider.  Once you pass through I can't insure your safety.  The future is far removed from the world you know, a very dangerous place.  Nothing from this time period can accompany you, not even your weapons."

"It doesn’t matter."

"There’s more.   Even if you are able to find her, she may not want to return with you.  She may not remember any of your life together."

"She’ll remember.   I’m sure of it."

"My power is limited.  I can only hold the tear open until the next full moon.  If you stay beyond, you will be trapped in the future with no way of returning."

"I’m willing to take that chance." 

"The risk is not yours alone.  The destiny’s of Gabrielle and her child are entwined with your own."

"I don’t understand."

"The child’s chance of survival is greater with you protecting her.  If she should perish before she matures to raise her own family, Gabrielle will be lost to you.  She will no longer exist, not even in the future."

Xena remained silent, understanding the profound impact her decision could have on the lives of two she valued above all others.  Her mind was swimming.  The events of the last few days had left her both emotionally and physically drained.

Seeing the warrior's inner turmoil, Artemis gently advised her.  "Give yourself time for your body to heal.  Think this decision though. I will return to you in a fortnight."  She smiled softly.  "In the meantime, spend time with the child.  You can learn a lot from her."

In a flash she was gone.

*****

Xena wasted no time finding Ephiny.   Energized with newfound hope, she explained in detail everything Artemis had told her. 

The regent listened carefully to every word.  "You’re going to do it, aren’t you?" 

Xena met her eyes unflinchingly.  "She’s waiting for me... waiting for me to find her.  If there is a chance that I can bring her back, I have to take it."

"She may not even recognize you.  What if you can’t get her to come back?"

"If she doesn’t remember, then I’ll return alone.   But I have to try."

The regent shook her head sadly.

"Ephiny... It's a chance... a chance to see her again.  I would fight my way through Tartarus for that."

"What about Gabrielle’s daughter?"

"I’m no good to anyone like this.  I’m broken inside, half a person.  She left a hole I can’t fill with anything.   To see her alive, to make sure she’s happy... I can't not go."  She met the regent's gaze.   "I promise that with or without Gabrielle by my side, nothing short of death will keep me from returning to protect her child."   Xena’s resolute expression made Ephiny doubt that even death could stop her. 

"What can I do to help?"

"I need you to watch over the baby.  If something goes wrong and I can’t get back..."

Ephiny nodded in understanding. "I will protect her with my life."

"You have been a good friend to Gabrielle... and to me.  I won’t forget that."

"Xena, there are those in this village who would question your worthiness to be our queen’s life mate.  I...  I’m not among them.  You will always have a home here." 

"I owe you my life."

"You owe your life to Gabrielle.  Just find her.  Bring her back.  You belong together."

"I will. I..." The desperate cries of an infant interrupted her.  Xena turned abruptly and rushed out of the hut toward the distressed sound.  Pushing open the door to Gabrielle’s quarters, she found the midwife attempting to soothe the screaming child.  Instinctively, Xena reached to take her.  The infant immediately calmed, content and secure in the powerful woman's arms.

The harried midwife took in the unlikely sight.  The warrior held the baby protectively, gently rocking her. It was clear there was a strong connection between them.  The baby was utterly content in her presence.

"It seems you have everything under control."

Xena nodded but her attention remained on the child, whose tiny face was focused solely on her.  The infant totally captivated the warrior.  To Xena, she was a miracle, given life by her beloved bard.  The resemblance was undeniable.  The best of Gabrielle's qualities had been passed on to the child.  Her features were hauntingly familiar.   The infant’s eyes, the slope of her small nose, the swell of her lips were definitely her mother's.

Though keenly interested in the sights and sounds around her, the warrior remained the ultimate focus of the baby's attention.  Similarly, the raven-haired woman rarely let the child out of her sight, and then it was only into the arms of Ephiny or one of the elder midwives.

It was a side of Xena no one knew existed, including the warrior herself.  Even the regent, who had witnessed Xena's vulnerable side, was amazed by the tenderness she showered on the child. The bond between them was undeniable.

As the days passed, the elders urged her to bestow a name on the baby and initiate her into the Amazon tribe, as was her birthright.   She was hesitant, as if naming her meant accepting Gabrielle's death, something Xena couldn't bring herself to do.

Even through the depths of her sorrow, the infant proved to be a comfort and distraction.  The majority of her waking hours were spent taking care of the baby.  The hungry child gave the warrior something to focus on.  Small waterskins with leather nipples were used to house breast milk donated by a woman who had recently given birth.  Xena heated the skins in water and carefully tested the milk against her inner wrist.  When the milk was warmed to just the right temperature, she settled into a rocking chair and loving fed the infant.  It quickly became a ritual she looked forward to.

Her most difficult times were when the baby slept.  It was then, her thoughts turned to Gabrielle.   The memories of their life together tormented her, bringing almost unbearable pain.  To sleep she would tire herself with rigorous sword drills until exhaustion claimed her. 

Often times, the nights were her best solace. Sometimes, in Gabrielle's bed, with the baby tucked up against her, Xena dreamed.  In her dreams Gabrielle lived.  In the fragile sanctuary of her imagination, they were together and once again, she was complete.  

Dawn was her enemy.  Each day with the coming of the morning light, she relived her loss.  Every morning began with the pain of remembering Gabrielle was gone.  She would lie in bed curled in a ball, paralyzed with grief, until the baby awoke, giving her a reason to live another day.

*****

At last, the time to meet Artemis arrived.  Xena and Ephiny went to her temple where the warrior waited, holding the infant who had become such an important part of her life.  In the deep recesses of her mind, something about the child continually tugged at her, demanding to be acknowledged... a secret longing to be revealed.

In the glow of a soft light, the goddess appeared.  Ephiny stepped back silently. 

Without pause Xena asked the question her heart had already answered.  "The child is mine.  Isn’t she?  That night...touching Gabrielle... the trance..."

Artemis nodded. "Yes, she's yours... yours and Gabrielle's."

"How?"

"You and my queen are favored by more than one goddess.  Your love for one another attracted Aphrodite's attention too.  She watched with great interest as your feelings for each other blossomed.  And although it deeply saddened her, she had no choice but to accept Gabrielle's decision to leave you.  Seeing the purity of your love for my chosen, that fateful night she gave you solace in the only way she could... she allowed your essence to merge with my queen.

What she didn't know was that at the same time I was listening to Gabrielle's plea to be united with you.  To ease her sorrow I filled her mind with visions of her warrior, causing her very soul to open to you." 

Artemis sighed wistfully.  "Aphrodite's intention was to comfort you both...  to help you remember your joining so that you might eventually come to realize that you belonged together.  We didn't anticipate the strength of your love for one another.  We couldn't foresee that once inside Gabrielle you would seek out the soul of my young queen and merge with her in the most sacred of unions... that you would each sacrifice a fragment of your very beings in your reluctance to part."  The goddess smiled softly.  "The formation of your child within Gabrielle’s womb came as a most pleasant surprise to us both."

"Our child."  The words escaped the warrior’s lips like a prayer.  She lovingly stroked the baby’s cheek.

"Xena, the decision is yours alone to make.  Do you still want to go?"

"I have to try.  The baby needs her.  I need her." 

"Then I will help in whatever way I can."  She laid her hand on Xena’s forehead and a wave of sensation passed through the warrior’s body. 

When Xena opened her eyes they shone with determination.  "I will find Gabrielle and if she’s willing, nothing will stop me from bringing her back."

The goddess smiled knowingly.  "I doubt all the gods of Olympus could keep you from her."

Artemis looked upon the infant.  "She is truly a beautiful child."

"So much like Gabrielle," the warrior agreed, her voice filled with pride.  She touched her lips to the baby’s forehead savoring the contact.  "I will return to you, my daughter."  With visible reluctance, she handed her child to the regent.

Ephiny held the special child lovingly, rocking her in her arms.

Lightly laying her hand on the regents shoulder Xena met her friend's eyes, wordlessly communicating her gratitude.

"I’ll keep her safe."  Ephiny promised. 

The warrior nodded and smiled softly.  "I know."  She turned slowly to Artemis. 

"Are you ready?" the goddess asked.

"Yes."

Closing her eyes, the goddess raised her arms to the sun.  A golden glow enveloped her as she drew from its power.  Focusing on the clearing ahead, she stretched her arms out before her.  Balls of energy streamed from her fingertips forming a shimmering circle of light.  Motioning to the dark-haired woman, she signaled that it was time.

 Xena stripped off her shift and walked to the opening.  Before passing through she turned to face the goddess. "Thank you." 

Seeing the warrior naked and weaponless, Artemis was suddenly struck by how vulnerable the mortal woman before her appeared.  She silently whispered a blessing and smiled upon the warrior. "Gabrielle was right to trust you to find a way. Bring my Amazon Queen back safely."

Xena nodded and stepped through the portal.

Part 3