ForevaXena's FanFic . . .


 

Obstacles

by Fantasy


Standard Disclaimer: The characters of Xena, Gabrielle, Argo, and the nasty War God guy, what’s his name, oh yeah Ares belong to Renaissance Pictures/MCA and Rob Tapert.  I am not making any dinars from this piece of writing.  In the last story, the kids and I didn’t get to do much sightseeing, so we’re gonna travel around Europe for awhile, when we’ve seen everything, I’ll bring them home.

Violence Disclaimer: Heads up!  There will be some fisticuffs going on in this one, there might even be some bullets flying.  Kat’s fixin’ to kick some serious butt.  There is nothing graphic ‘cause I have a thing about gratuitous violence.  Still, if you have a fundamental problem with violence, I respect that and encourage you to read something else.

Sex/Language: Yes indeed!  Right off the bat.  It took these two ten years to get going, and now that they have, they are continuing, at times graphically.  There is a loving relationship between two women described herein.  I don’t have a problem with love between two consenting adults no matter their gender. If you have a problem with these types of relationships go away.  Attention: There is one section in Chapter 5 (pg.14 and a smidge on 15) in which a young girl is raped.  There is also some bondage involved.  This sets up some background into a major character, and as such is vital to the story.  I assure you this will be the only section with this graphic.  Please if you are not at least 21, go away and come back later.  If your folks knew you kiddies were reading adult materials they’d be really ticked.  In addition, if you live in a state or province where this material is illegal, by all means obey the law and go away.

Hurt/Comfort: Kat unfortunately has a dysfunctional family, and there are some really tough issues she needs to deal with in this one.  I don’t know why some people aren’t happy unless they can torment someone else.  There are times when you may need a hanky or two.  I’ve had to waterproof my keyboard, so take your lead from that.  Hopefully things will work out in the end.  Animal lover alert!!

I think I have everything covered.  I’m having fun renewing my relationship with writing.  I gave it up for some time, but now it has become cathartic in a way.  What I appreciate most is the positive response I have gotten from all of you out there, for that thank you.  Your response for good or ill is the only way I have to know whether I should continue or not.  Please feel free to email me fantasysrealm@home.com or fans91@hotmail.comwith constructive criticism, and any other input you might have.  Okay as Jackie Gleason used to say, "And awaayy we go!"


PART 2



September 23, 2000

Chapter 1: Hello Love

          The first sensation I was aware of was the warm gentle breeze wafting through the open French doors.  The Mediterranean was famous for gentle breezes in the fall.  There was an unmistakable scent of love that permeated the air from the previous evening.  God I wanted my senses filled with that wonderful perfume forever: my lover.  Next, in my near conscious state, I felt a not altogether unpleasant weight on my thighs and lower abs, as gentle hands stroked of my upper thighs, periodically roaming into my pubic region.  "Mmmm, that feels so nice.  Don’t stop."  Several butterfly kisses were placed just above my black curly thatch of hair from one side of my abs to the other.  I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful sight I could imagine.  My blonde-haired nymph, emerald eyes, and angelic face smiling adoringly down at me.  "Good morning my love.  Pleasant dreams I hope?"  Yes indeed. 

"My dreams were very pleasant, what little time I was asleep.  I dreamed of you and me, making love."  I whispered lustfully.

"Oh really, and just where did this love take place?  Please lover, tell me everything."  I had peaked my blonde lover’s interest, and I would use her natural curiosity to my advantage.

"I don’t know.  Wouldn’t you rather I show you?"  The color of my baby’s eyes had suddenly gone dark with desire, and her jade pupils were completely dilated.  Gotcha!

"Oh God yes, my darling show me.  Please love me."  How could I refuse such an agonized plea?

I had been running my hands up and down my lover’s thighs, as they straddled mine, and now changed directions to run them up Marcey’s tight abs until they reached the luscious firm globes I wanted to touch.  Her beautiful breasts were not large, but well proportioned and fit perfectly in my hands.  I cupped one in each hand and ran my thumbs over the pink nipples, which hardened immediately.  The large areolas pebbled instantly, and I longed to suck the turgid buds so badly.  I sat up, and positioned my lover so our nether lips came together, wet, swollen and slippery.  I wrapped my arms around my lover’s lovely back.  I lowered my lips and took the nipple into my mouth and sucked greedily, biting occasionally.  Marcy’s moans of pleasure were music to my ears.

"Oh Kat that feels so good.  I love when you suck me like that.  Harder please baby suck and bite me harder!"  My lover arched her back in an effort to force more of her breast into my mouth.  God her skin tasted so good, felt so good; I wanted to taste her everywhere.  My baby’s breathy voice was so erotic; it was drove me on to make her cum. 

"Yes my darling.  Tell me want you want.  How do you want me to love you?"  My hands had moved of their own volition to Marce’s firm tight ass, and began squeezing them rhythmically, forcing her sex harder into mine.  I could feel her hard clit rubbing against mine.

"Kat I need you inside please.  Your fingers in me now!"  God we were so hot together. 

"You feel so good; you’re so wet, so swollen, and your clit is so hard.  Tell me do you like this?  Is this what you want?"  I moved my hand between our two sweaty bodies and wormed my fingers into my lover’s sloppy wet cunt. 

"Sweet Jesus Kat, yes baby more!  God don’t stop!"  But I did stop. 

"No, Kat damn you!"  I withdrew my fingers covered liberally with Marcey’s cum and brought them to my lips, where I licked them clean.

"Hmmmm you taste so good, oh yeah lover, so rich, sweet, and creamy.  Do you want a taste?"  I thought Marcy was going to explode with need from my sexual teasing.

"Yyyeess, please I need to taste you, us."  Again my fingers dove into my lover’s dripping core. But this time I didn’t pull out immediately; instead, I stayed and played a bit with my fingers.  I stroked my lovers slit from anus to clit.  Every now and then, my fingers circled her love hole dipping in to coat my love digits with Marcey’s creamy juices.  Marcy was on overload, and to tell the truth so was I.  She forced her sex harder onto my fingers trying desperately to gain deeper contact.

"God Kat are you trying to kill me?  Please..."  Marcey was to the point of begging, her frustration clearly evident. 

"Ah, Ah, Ah, all in due time my love, we mustn’t rush this."  I withdrew my fingers from her hot center reluctantly, and swirled them briefly in my own wet center.  I brought my fingers coated with our combined juices and allowed Marcy to lick them clean. 

"Here baby this is what we taste like together.  Suck my fingers clean, and make sure you don’t miss a drop," I commanded.  Marcy devoured my fingers like a starving man attacks food.

"Hmmmm, oh Kat-suck -  this-lick -is so-suck -good, mmmm."  Marce’s sensual sucking and licking of my fingers was about to send me over the edge, but before I could do anything about my need, I found myself flat on my back, my legs thrown violently over my lover’s shoulders, and Marcy’s face buried into my steaming pussy.

"By the Gods, Marcy your tongue feels so good on me.  Oh baby, yes."  Where did she learn to do this?  God, now was not the time to wonder, just lay back and enjoy.  And enjoy I did; Marcy attacked my inflamed sex like someone dying of thirst.  She sucked and licked my core like a vacuum cleaner.  But I wanted to eat her too.  "Baby stop, stop, please wait."  Marcy’s head popped up, a look of fear casting a shadow over her beautiful face.

"Oh babe, did I hurt you?  I-I-I’m so sorry-"  I stopped her apology in mid-word.

"No baby, it feels so good, but I want us to do this together, turn around.  I want to have you while you have me."  Marcy did as I bade, and straddled my head with her luscious ass in my face.  Marce immediately went to work on my sex.  "That’s it baby, oooo, that feels so good.  Yeah baby lick me, suck me, bite me." 

While my lover devoured my sex, I began feasting on the delightful treat before me.  I ran my face over and through my lover’s puffy wet lips.  My tongue tasted every surface presented me.   My fingers separated her labia and I used my tongue to draw her liberal juices to her anus where I lubricated the puckered hole and stroked it with my thumb.  I pushed gently until the tip of my thumb barely entered the tight orifice.  Marcy’s reaction was instantaneous.

"Oh God what are you doing to me?  That feels so good."  Damn this woman was hot!

"You like this do you?  Has anyone ever had you this way, in both holes?  Or do I get to be the first?"  Please say me.

"No baby only you, no one else ever, please."  With that plea, I pushed my thumb forward with one stroke, and used three fingers to enter my lover’s vagina.  My woman shrieked in pleasure and sat up forcing my thumb and fingers deeper into her burning core.   

"Kat yes, do it.  Fuck me baby, take me?"  Tsch, tsch such a potty mouth, but who was I to ignore such an eloquent request.  I began a steady forceful stroke, matching my baby’s movements.  Her fingers were digging into my thighs in an effort to hold herself upright.

"Yes, Kat your fingers feel go good inside me.  I’m so close baby; I’m gonna cum.  Please fuck me harder, faster, deeper.  Yyeess, sooo goooddd!!  By the Gods!!  Kaaattt!!!"  Marcy’s body shuddered and shook as her climax overtook her.  The pulsing sensations of her orgasm coursed through me as well, and I climaxed along with my baby. 

"Sweet Jesus, YES!! YES!!  Oh Marce-I LOVE YOU!!

Marce collapsed off to my side, her arms no longer able to support her love-induced, exhausted body.  I too was certainly not in any condition to move, but I managed to draw my baby up into my arms and hold her close to me.  Finally she spoke; her tired voice seemed small and far away.

"This is the best bedtime story I’ve ever heard."  I brushed the short blonde locks away from my lover’s eyes and whispered.

"But honey, I didn’t tell you a story," I whispered.

"I know.  But sometimes, actions speak far better than words.  Now I think I could use a little nap."  I kissed my lover’s forehead tenderly.

"That’s right sweetling, you get some sleep."  I rocked Marcy gently and began humming an old lullaby mamma used to sing to me when I was a child.  That small voice spoke again.

"Kat?"

"Hmmm?"

"Your voice sounds so nice; I love you; g’nite."

"I love you too, baby.  Sweet dreams."

Again Morpheus took us to his realm and held us tenderly while we dreamed of love and each other.

Chapter 2: The Awakening

          The second time I awoke this morning, I again felt the pleasant weight of my lover lying sprawled over my much larger frame.  Marcy’s light, mild snores were music to my ears.  She was so cute; who would have known underneath the serene placid demeanor lay such a fierce insatiable lover?   God I could stay like this forever.  However, I promised Marce I would take her all around Rome today to see the sights.  As much as I hated to leave my warm nest, I gently extricated myself from my darling’s embrace.  I replaced my body with my warm pillow, a poor substitute I know, but it was the best I could do.  But, judging by the satisfied sigh, my lover was grateful for the surrogate lover. 

          I entered the spacious bathroom and as much as I was tempted to fill the jacuzzi and wallow in my hedonistic tendencies, I opted for a quick shower.  The hot water assaulted my well-used body, massaging tension filled muscles.  I knew what caused the sore muscles, and it wasn’t a night of bedroom gymnastics either.  It was Europe.  God I hated Europe, and as much as I wanted to make Marcy happy, and play tour guide all over the continent, I wished the Nations Cup was over.  I wanted to be back in Virginia with my lover.  The familiar surroundings of the Upperville horse farms were a balm to my soul.  Europe represented and held everything I hated: the pain, anger, and lies, all of it.  And it all centered on my family.  Family hell, Marcy, Travis, and Nikki were my family.  Even Lucci was more like family than my own, maybe not by blood, but family just the same.  What had my family given me?  Betrayal, deceit, murder?  And now the one person I trusted and needed more than anyone else in the world, until Marcy, my mamma, was gone.  She was lost to me so long ago, but now death had made sure I could never repair the damage I’d done.  That should make Stavros damned happy.  Now he has it all; I hope he’s satisfied.

"Of course you know I’ll stop you.  I’ll never let you get your slimy hands on papa’s business."

                                                 God I wanted to slap the smirk right off Stavros’ cocky face.

                                                 "Really Katrina, I thought you’d learned by now, the man in the Greek household holds all the power.  There is really nothing you can do.  Unless of course-you’d-"

 

          I gripped Stavros wrist in my right hand and squeezed and twisted until I heard the bones begin to crack.  I forced the bastard to his knees.

"If you ever touch me again, so help me it will the last thing you will ever do.  And as far as what I can do?  Just you hide and watch."

            What could a seventeen-year-old kid do?  Not much, so I fled from Europe, swearing never to return until I could do so on my own terms.  And I did return; I was one of the best in my chosen profession.  Everyone knew the name Katrina Maria Andreas was synonymous with winning in the show ring.  I had everyone from ordinary citizens to corporate leaders to heads of state begging me to train and show their horses.  I could pick and choose whom I took on as a client, and I chose only those who could do me the most good.  I wanted the one’s who could make me rich and powerful, and put me in the position to extract my revenge on one man: Demitri Stefano Stavros, the time had finally come, you’re mine you bastard.  But first, I had to make amends with mamma, and beg for her forgiveness and finally get her blessing.  A soft lovely voice brought me out of my dark thoughts.

          "Hey, you gonna stay in here all day?" Small hands began wandering to places they shouldn’t go, not if we intended to get out of the bedroom all day.  As much as I would have liked to play out that scenario.

          "No, babe, I’m just about done," I said as I turned to surround Marcy’s body with my arms, and effectively stopping the questing hands. 

          "Why did you do that?  I was just getting started."  Yeah I know.  I kissed her lightly on the nose.

          "That is exactly why I stopped you.  We’ll never get any sightseeing done from the bedroom."  My Marcy chuckled evilly.

          "Oh I don’t know; there are many wonderful-kiss-delightful-kiss-sights I could see from there."  I was saved by my lover’s loud empty stomach announcing its desire to be filled.

          "There ya see, I’m not the only one who needs to be fed.  You finish in here, and I’ll go check on Pan and King.  When I get back, we can eat break-fast.  I’m sure Lucci will loan us a car while we’re here for our excursions.  Oh incidentally, I’ll introduce you to Sophia, Lucci’s cook.  She can show you around the kitchen.  Nikki and Lucci hit the sack before we did last night, and they weren’t sleeping.  You’ll be busy baking pastries, I think."  A wet sponge went sailing past me, barely missing my head.

          "Ha!! Ya missed.  You obviously need more practice."  

Chapter 3: Breakfast

                Breakfast consisted of delicate pastries: croissants with strawberries and cream cheese, crepes, French toast, and three kinds of breakfast meats: Italian sausage, Polish sausage, and ham.  Beverages to choose from included orange, pineapple/strawberry, or guava juice and of course tea and strong, black coffee.  Again the meal was served outside on the patio, but this time; we had company while we ate.  Our three friends were already seated when we arrived.  Travis couldn’t resist a little jab.

          "I was beginin’ to wonder whether y’all were gonna join us this mornin’.  Y’all just ‘bout missed out on breakfast."  Kat wasn’t the least bit bashful about explaining what they had been doing all night and most of the morning.

          "Well hey, how did I know Marcy was so insatiable.  I just damned near passed out from sheer exhaustion."  Marcy nearly choked on her orange juice, and turned as red as the fresh strawberries on her plate.  Kat patted her back softly in an effort to help stop the coughing fit. 

"You okay baby?  You better slow down, no one is going to take your food."  Marcy simply glared at Kat and retorted.

"If I had known you had so pitifully little stamina, I would have taken it much easier on you."  Now it was Kat’s turn to choke, and her three friends howled at the trainer’s discomfort.  Marcy just smirked.  "Gotcha babe," she whispered.

"You better laugh while you can, but I can assure you, I have no problem keeping my woman satisfied.  And by the way, I didn’t see you two at dinner last night either, nor you Worth ol’ boy.  Could it be the three of you spent some meaningful time together?"  This time Nikki choked, Travis grunted, and Lucci fired away.

"Why no, Kat darling, Nikki and I were discussing various riding posi-tions and simply lost track of the time.  I’m so sorry if you missed our com-pany at dinner."  Well that accounts for the two females.  Riding positions, yeah I’ll bet.

"No actually Marcy and I really enjoyed our dinner alone, but Travis you really could have joined us, we would have been glad to share."  Marcy’s eyes bugged out and her jaw nearly hit the table.  "Paybacks are hell aren’t they baby?"  Kat nibbled on Marcy’s ear as she spoke softly.

"Shucks darlin’, I’m real sorry, but I had a previous engagement with an old friend.  The Duchess Von Brennor is in Rome on business and for the Nation’s Cup as well, so we had supper together.  I must say, it was a most enjoyable ev’nin."  Well Worth, you old bugger; it’s about damn time.

"I’m glad.  Well it sounds like everyone had a good evening."  Kat just shook her head, and Lucci eyed her suspiciously.

"If you don’t have plans for the day, you would be welcome to come with Nikki and I, I promised her a ride again today."  Pineapple juice spewed out of Nikki’s mouth.  God Lucci, any more double meanings, and Nikki’s gonna die.

"No, thanks just the same, but if you don’t mind the loan of a car, I promised Marcy I would take her sightseeing for a couple days before I start getting Pan and King ready for the Nations Cup."  If Lucci were disappointed she wouldn’t be enjoying a foursome; she had the good manners not to say so.

"Certainly my Kat; take any one you want."  All right!

"Do you still have the red Mazaratti?"  Kat asked expectantly?  She was behaving like a kid who was asking for her first bike.

"Of course, how could you think I would get rid of any of your toys."  Marcy glared viscously at Lucci.  The look didn’t go unnoticed by Kat.  Careful Lucci.  Didn’t you learn anything from the incident at the airport?  Kat squeezed Marcy’s thigh gently under the table, and felt Marcy’s muscle relax, and tensions leave the small woman’s body.

"Thanks Lucci.  We’re going to pack an overnight bag and maybe drive down to Naples and visit Pompeii.  So if we aren’t back tonight, so worry about us.  Travis if you’d-"  Travis held up his hand to forestall the invitation.

"No ‘legs’, you two children go on an’ enjoy yourselves.  The Duchess and I have some more business to attend to, and it could take awhile.  Have fun, ya hear?"  With that Worth got up and kissed Marcy and I on the head, Lucci and Kikki on their cheeks, and out the door he went.  Well I’ll be damned.  Nikki and Lucci were the next to depart.

"Charles, Nikki and I will be riding most of the day.  Please see we have a lunch delivered to the olive grove down by the pond.  We’ll change into our riding clothes and leave within the hour.  Oh and also have Carlos make sure the Mazaratti is ready for Kat and Marcy."  Good ol’ dependable Charlie.  I wonder-naw.

"Very good mum, all shall be taken care of immediately."  Charlie turned on his heel and disappeared into the kitchen.

Marcy and I were left by ourselves to finish breakfast.  I sat with my head propped up by my fist while I watched Marcy eat. I was amazed by the amount of food such a small woman could put away and not gain weight. She had already consumed three croissants pile high with strawberries and  cream cheese, two large pieces of French toast, a Polish and Italian sausage, and was working on another piece of ham.  Marcy looked up to see me watching her intently.

"What?  Do I have syrup on my chin?"  Now there’s a thought.  I took my finger and dipped it into her plate and smeared it liberally with the sticky sweet substance.  Marcy never once took her eyes from mine.  I painted her lips with the goo, and watched as a little pink tongue poked out, licked her lips, and then sucked my finger into her mouth replicating a rhythm of a movement of another kind.  I repeated the process, except this time when the little pink tongue emerged from it’s cave, I captured it with my mouth in a searing kiss.  All thoughts about eating breakfast were forgotten as the kiss deepened and increased in intensity.  Tongues danced inside our mouths fighting for control.  A deep-throated moan escaped from lips, as my tongue explored every inner surface available to it.  This kiss was getting way to hot if we planned on going anywhere except back to bed.  Reluctantly, I broke away from our embrace breathlessly.

"Baby, if you’re finished..."  My baby interrupted.

"I’ll never be finished with you," she groaned and dove in for another wet sloppy kiss.  My God I’ve created a monster.

"Honey, I’m far from finished with you either, but if we’re going to see anything today, we have to go.  Tell ya what.  You pack a bag for us, and I’ll go get the car.  How’s that?"  Marce looked at me intently.

"Sound like a plan, but I think I need one more kiss to tide me over ‘til you get back."  Marcy’s eyebrows waggled mischievously.

"Just one?"  My lover nodded, and I lowered my head, and our lips met once more in a soft sensual kiss.  We parted and gazed lovingly in each other’s eyes.  As much as I hated to break the spell, I moved away.  Near the door, I blew my lover a kiss and went out to get the car.  

Chapter 4: Going South

          I pulled our little red Mazaratti convertible up front, and honked the horn.  Marcy came running out the door with two large duffel bags, one over each shoulder.  I wondered what on earth she could possibly have packed that would require two bags; this was only a two-day trip.  When I hefted the bags, I discovered one was empty.

          "Hon, I know you were in a hurry, but..."  I showed her the empty bag.  "-don’t you think you might have forgotten something."  Marcy took the empty bag and along with the full bag put in the baggage compartment.

          "Don’t be silly," she swatted me playfully on the arm, "of course we don’t need to full bags of clothes for a two day trip.  The empty bag is to put everything we buy into.  You know a ‘shopping bag’.  Cool huh?"  I rolled my eyes and groaned.  God I hate shopping.

          "Get in the car, ya nut ya, before I change my mind."  Marcy got in and I started the car and away we went.  We had barely started down the driveway when my baby yelled.

          "Wait!  I forgot something!"  You’ve got to be kidding me.

"Do you mean to tell me you have to go to..."  Marcy huffed in exasperation.

"No I don’t have to go to the bathroom.  It’s just I don’t have any idea where we’re going.  What if I didn’t pack the right kind of clothes."  I just shook my head.

"No need to worry, cause I know where we’re going, and if we run into a problem deciding what to wear, we’ll just go nekked."  My lover wasn’t impressed with my explanation.

"Kat please?"  I thought she might actually begin to cry, so I reached out and took her hand and kissed the palm tenderly.

"Sweetheart, we’re going to see an old friend of mind.  She’s going to put us up for a couple days."  My baby was not too sure she liked that idea.

"Another old friend?  She’s not a contessa is she?"  Marcy’s scowl was more than just a warning.

"No baby, she’s not a contessa, she’s an innkeeper, and she’s old enough to be my mother and weighs nearly 250 pounds.  Okay?" 

We drove through the major downtown area of Rome and I pointed out some of the major sights, and promised we’d take some time and just spend two or three days knocking around, looking at the sights.  Marcy was amazed at the immense size of the Colesseum.  The Forum and Trevi Fountain were just as impressive.

"Sweetheart can we really do some sightseeing?  Gosh I’ve always wanted to come to Europe and just explore.  It seems all we get to see when we come here are airports, hotels, and Grand Prix grounds.  Oh don’t get me wrong, I love traveling with you, but it’s always been business.   It’s just so cool to be able to mix a little pleasure in with the business.  Especially now-I-I mean now-that we are lov-ers.  Oh Gods, lovers.  Kat we’re lovers!"  For the first time, the word was actually voiced.  The realization of everything the word lovers entailed was a bit overwhelming.  Was I really up for this?  Could I possibly afford not to be?  I took my new lover’s hand in mine and brought our joined hands to my lips and kissed the knuckles.  Then, not letting go I just held them against my belly.

"Yes Marcy we are for as long as you want me, I’ll be yours."  I tried to reassure her, as best I could.  "I want no one but you my love, and I’ll not forsake you for another, this I promise."  A lone tear tracked down Marcy’s face.

"Where do we go from here?  I mean what happens next?"  I had only one thing to say.

"As far as I’m concerned, we’re partners, not just in business, but in life.  As for what happens next, I honestly don’t know.  All I know is that I love you very much, and I never want to lose you; I always want you in my life."  My beautiful little blonde brought our hands to her lips, and kissed my knuckles lovingly.

"That’s what I want too.  You’re in my heart; I love you now and for always," Marce murmured as she held our hands to her heart. 

Marcy’s words and loving smile shot straight into my heart truer than any arrow.  In the process all the carefully constructed walls I had protecting myself from ever being hurt crumbled down and were now just so much dust to be blown away in the wind.  For the first time in a very long while, I had opened myself up to love again, I was placing my love, my heart, and my trust in another human being.  I had never been this vulnerable; always before I had kept a part of me hidden away where I’d be safe.  Not this time; I had laid myself bare.  Everything was there for Marcy to see, and she still wanted me, she still loved me.  She didn’t run away.  She wanted me; she wanted to love me and she did.  I couldn’t help but wonder if she would still love when she found out what I had planned.  

Chapter 5: The Hotel Napoli

           The three-hour drive to Naples took far less than three hours, in large part to my lead foot and Lucci’s little red Mazaratti.  Marcy had kept up a continuous conversation expounding on all the sights we saw along the way. Whether they were trivial or not, Marcy found something interesting to say about everything.  We slowed down at the outskirts of the city, and worked our way down to the Bay of Naples.  I pulled into the circular driveway of our hotel and waited for the valet to approach.  Marcy’s gasp of delight brought an involuntary smile to my lips.  I realized I was doing that a lot the past few days, smiling, and I knew the reason, Marcy. 

          "Oh Kat this is just beautiful.  I’ve never seen water that blue before, have you?"  Again my gushing lover felt ashamed of her exuberance.  "Of course you have, you’ve been everywhere, you’ve seen everything.  You must think I’m just a silly child."  I lifted my lover’s chin and gently kissed her lips.

          "Marcy, I want you to understand something because it is very important.  It’s true I’ve been all over the world.  And while I still lived with my family, I had all advantages and position wealth can bring a person.  But after papa died, I had nothing.  I was cold and callous; I was simply an empty shell.  I had few friends, and other than mamma and my horses, I was alone.  I just walked through life never seeing, never feeling, and never caring about anyone or anything.  When I left home, I had no idea where I would go or what I would do.  I didn’t know how I would live; the only thing that kept me going was my thirst for revenge on the people who hurt me.  When I met Travis and Eleanor, they gave me a home, and a reason to go on.  They gave me a chance to work with my horses, and make a life for myself.  But as much as I love Worth and although he tried to help me forget, and go on with my life, I was still empty inside.  Then a bright, green-eyed perky little nymph came into my life and brought the light with her and shut out the dark.  I think you are many things: loving, caring, compassionate, intelligent, brave, and resourceful to name just a few.  You’re bright and vivacious, and full of life.  But one thing I am definitely sure of: I do not think you are a silly child.  You see the wonder in all things, as they should be; I see only the dark.  I wish I were more like you.  There is one more thing you should know: I love you very much, and I don’t ever want you to change.  Oh, by the way, there is one thing more beautiful than the blue of the Bay of Naples and that is the green in your beautiful eyes.  Now c’mon, this nice young man has been waiting patiently for us so he can park the car.  We’ll get checked in and go do some shopping."  God I can’t believe I said that.

          "Hold it; perky?  Oh God, I’m not sure I like that much.  That makes me sound like a cheerleader."  I wrapped my arm around Marcy’s shoulder and led her into the hotel. 

          "Hey cut me some slack, it’s all I could think of on the spur of the moment.  Words aren’t my strong suit, that’s your department."

          Inside the Hotel Napoli people of all types and sizes were bustling here and there.  Most of them were American tourists, wanting a chance to taste the romantic atmosphere of Naples.  I had been here many times before, with and without a partner.  I came here mostly to think, and the best place to do that, for me, was the Isle of Capri.  I had never taken a lover there before; there was never anyone I wanted to share this special place with until now.  I was taking a huge chance I knew.  What if this didn’t work, what if she won’t stay with me; God if I loose her now-  Stop borrowing trouble.  Marcy is different; she loves you, she’d never hurt you; you know that.  The hosteler was an old friend of mine, and he greeted us warmly.

          "Aahh Katrina, it has been too long, my friend.  You look simply marvelous.  This must be Marcy, no?  You are simply breathtaking.  You take good care of my Katrina, si?"  The blush that covered my lover’s face only endeared her more to me.

          "Yes, Vincenti, this is Marcy Daniels, my best friend and partner.  She is also the woman I intend to spend the rest of my life with."  That admission took Marcy by surprise, and the shock she felt was evident.

          "Katrina, that is wonderful news; I am so happy for both of you.  For you, in celebration, the best room, with the best view of the bay.  Napoli will weave her spell on you tonight, no?  And you will be my guests."  I had no intention of letting Vincenti put us up for free.

          "Vincenti, that is very kind of you, but we couldn’t possibly..."  Vincenti was hearing nothing of my protests.

          "No it will be as I have said, you are my guests.  That is final."  There was no point in arguing, and Marcy was getting a rather large charge out of the small, rotund man putting me in my place.

          "If you insist, my friend, lead on."  Vincenti snapped his fingers, and the concierge appeared to guide us to our room.

          "You will join me for dinner, yes?  Now I must see to my other guests."

Marcy and I walked hand-in-hand across the hotel lobby following the concierge to our room.  The little hairs on the back of my neck stood up, instantly alerting me to imminent danger.  My senses screamed ‘scum alert’.

"Well, well, well, my beautiful Katrina.  You are still as lovely as ever.  And who is this divine creature we have here?"  Stavros, you son of a bitch.  I moved instinctively to intercept the tall Greek before he could put his slimy fingers on my lover.

"What are you doing here you bastard?  Aaahhh that’s right, your new ho has family here in Naples.  I heard she dumped for a better man.  What’s the matter Stavros, can’t take care of business anymore?"  Stavros’ cocky smirk disappeared instantly, and I thought he was going to take a swing at me.  Please do; give me an excuse to kick your ass all over this hotel lobby. 

The one thing a woman, particularly a Greek woman, must never do is attack a Greek man’s virility.  Stavros was as conceited a man as I’d ever met.  To attack his ability to keep a woman was to attack his manhood, and that was as low a blow as I could have ever handed out.  The truth was Stavros was a very handsome man.  He was tall, with inky black hair, dark brown eyes, and a neatly trimmed beard.  All if this was combined with a muscular frame.  If it weren’t that he was the most rotten, despicable, poorest excuse for a man ever put on this earth he would be almost tolerable.  He was much younger than my mother was when he married her.  My uncle Nicos and my older brother Miklos had arranged the marriage. For some reason I couldn’t understand, my mother went along with it.  I guess she too was taken in by his false charm, and by the time she found out the truth about him, it was too late.  He even tried to put the moves on me, and when that didn’t work, he used drugs to control me...

"Is she ready for me?"  The tall bodyguard nodded his head.  "Very good.  You may leave us now."

The tall, dark handsome man approached the naked form tied spread eagle to the bed.  Sweat covered the young woman’s body caused from her tremendous struggle.

"Why do you fight me, you know the drugs will defeat you.  You will give in to me; before long, you will be begging me to release you."

The man walked to a table by the bed and retrieved a bowl of red syrup like liquid and dipped out a measure of the substance on his fingers and painted it all over the woman’s erect nipples. Instantly the woman began to thrash on the bed and arched her back seeking relief.

Once more, the man dipped into the bowl and again brought forth the red shiny liquid.  This time, he smeared the mixture over the dark woman’s cunt lips, clit, and pleasure hole.  The man then removed his fingers and waited. 

The wait wasn’t a long one.  Soon the woman was writhing on the bed, and trying to draw her legs together to gain some measure of relief for her throbbing sex, but the ties wouldn’t allow enough movement.  While the man stroked his manhood, to a full erection, he watched the tortured woman.  By now the woman screaming, begging for release.

"What is it my beautiful Kat, tell me what you want.  Say it."  Slowly the man took the woman’s turgid nipple between his thumb and forefinger and began to twist it unmercifully.  "C’mon Kat, you know you want this, tell me and I will give you satisfaction."

"Never you bastard," Kat spat into the man’s face.  The retaliation was swift as a hand met Kat’s cheek harshly.  Then the man began to abuse the young girl’s nipples.  Clamps were placed on each swollen bud, and the chain twisted cruelly.  Kat screamed in pleasure and pain.

"Say it Kat, beg me.  I can make this all go away. Ask me; do it.  Say my name and I will bring you ecstasy."  The man again twisted the chain connecting the nipple clamps.  It was too much between the clamps and the potion on her sex.  She held out as long as she could, but it was too much.

"Please, Stavros, please fuck me.  I need you to give me release." 

Slowly Stavros took off his robe to reveal a well-muscled chest covered with soft black hair, and hard strong thighs.  His cock was huge, and dripped pre-cum from the throbbing head.  With a single jerk, he popped the clamps from Kat’s nipples.  Instantly he dove onto the young woman, and covered her firm well-formed globes with his mouth.

"God I love sucking your tits.  You love it too don’t you?  Say it," Stavros growled as he bit and sucked the erect nubs.  "Say it."

"Yes, I want you to suck me harder.  Please!"

Stavros attacked Kat’s breasts with a vengeance. His teeth and hands mauled the sensitive globes without respite.  Then he moved lower.  Without ceremony or warning of any kind, he thrust four fingers deep into the young woman’s oozing pussy.  She screamed her pleasure as the dark man’s fingers and thumb used her viscously.  Kat’s hips bucked off the bed in a frantic rhythm unable to control her burning desire.  With his other hand, Stavros smeared more of aphrodisiac onto the woman’s turgid clit. 

"Ah ah ah yes, more, I want more, need more.  Iwant you to fuck me now!"

Stavros removed his fingers from Kat’s throbbing sex, and untied her legs.  In the next instant he grabbed her hips, and threw her onto her stomach.  He lifted her ass to him and thrust the entire length of his thick hard cock deep into Kat’s hot, wet sex.

"Yes," she screamed. "God you feel so good in my tight pussy.  Fuck me hard! Make me cum."  And fuck her he did.  Stavros set up a hard and fast rhythm designed to make her scream his name and pull him over the edge with her.

"Ungh, ungh, ungh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooohh I’m cummmiiinnnggg.  Stavros yes!!!"  Kat’s body shattered with the force of her climax, and her cunt muscles squeezed around his cock and with a roar torn from his throat, Stavros pumped his seed deep inside Kat’s sex.

Kat collapsed on the bed, sweat covering her body, and tears of shame flowing silently down her cheeks.  Stavros unceremoniously pulled out of Kat and left her.  "You’ll always belong to me my Katrina, and one day you’ll come to me willingly without the potion. You’ll see."  With that he was gone, and Kat was alone once again.  

          "I got tired of the bitch’s whining, but she has something of mine, and I want it back."  Stavros brought himself up to his full height, and swaggered over to Kat.  "And you know I always get what’s mine, sooner or later."  Kat shook herself from the hated, hurtful memories, and looked Stavros directly in the eyes and growled, her voice and eyes full of anger and hate.  The fury in her eyes made Stavros take a step back, and Kat took full advantage by getting into the older man’s face.  Nose to nose with the Greek, she spoke menacingly.

          "I don’t know what you’re doing here, and I don’t care.  I’m not the same weak child I was over eighteen years ago.  You mess with me or the people I love and I’ll bury you."  Stavros tried to salvage a little of his crumbling pride.

          "Do you really think your puny threats frighten me?"   Kat whirled around and in a millisecond; she had Stavros by the lapels and forced against the wall, her hand around his throat choking the life from him.

          "Joke while you can, Stavros, but you should know, Greeks don’t make threats, we order up prophecy."  Kat took Marcy by the hand and led her to the elevator.  As the doors closed, Stavros sent his second on a little errand.

 

Chapter 6: A Room Overlooking the Sea

          The elevator mercifully reached the tenth floor and the women’s suite.  Neither woman had said much during the excruciatingly slow ascent to their room.  The strained tension between them was so thick it could be cut with a knife.  Kat had never wanted to subject Marcy with this part of her character.  Stavros you son of a bitch you did this; you made me this way, and I swear by all that’s holy you’ll pay dearly.  I’m gonna take you down, piece by dirty filthy piece, and when I’m through, there won’t be enough of you left to fill my granny’s sewing basket.  Well it was too late now; there was nothing for it but to face Marcy.  She knew the inevitable outcome of the incident in the lobby.  Marcy would leave her.  Why would she not?  Who would want to stay with her now, least of all a kind, peace loving person like Marce.  Marcy could sense Kat’s turmoil and reached out to touch Kat’s shoulder.

          "So that’s Stavros huh? He’s kinda good looking in a cheap, oily, smarmy sort of way."  Marcy tried to lighten the mood somewhat in an effort to get Kat to talk.  It worked.

          "Yeah, charming isn’t he?  Well that’s my family.  We’re all a bunch of charming characters."  Marcy was instantly angry at Kat’s flip remark.  She whirled the taller woman to face her.

          "Don’t you ever say anything like that to me about yourself again.  You are nothing like he is; do you hear what I’m saying?"  Well now’s your chance; tell her the truth.

          "You’re wrong Marcy; you don’t even know me.  I am him; he made me who I am-"  The distraught woman slid down the wall, her wobbly legs no longer able to hold her up.  Tears that had not fallen for nearly twenty years suddenly burst forth engulfing the woman in despair.  Sobs racked the tall frame, while Marcy stood there in shock.  Marce did the only thing she knew to do, and dropped to the floor and enveloped the crying woman into her arms.

          "Oh Kat baby, please.  Shh, shh, I’m here, and no matter what you think, I will always be here.  I meant what I said; we’re in this together forever.  For me there is no going back.  I want you to tell me everything about Stavros, if you can.  Please, baby if we don’t talk about this it will always be here between us ready to tear us apart.  But together, we can fight him; together we’re stronger than anything that can come our way.  I want to help you, but I can’t if you won’t talk to me, please."  Marcy lifted Kat’s chin, and even she could see not only concern, trust, but most of all love in emerald eyes.

          "Okay, but let’s get ready for bed, this is a long story, and we might as well be comfortable."  The taller woman rose to her feet and helped the smaller one up with her. 

"You go get showered first, and I’ll order us some food," Marcy ordered.

"I don’t know hon, I’m not very hungry..."  Marcy wouldn’t take no for an answer.

"Doesn’t matter, I am, and I’ll bet Vincenti can find something for us to eat.  I’ll tell him you and I are too tired to join him for dinner this evening.  I’m sure he’ll understand.  Now go!  G’wan, off, off."  Marcy made shooing motions with her hands, and Kat disappeared into the bathroom.

Kat let the hot water flow over her tired body, hoping against hope it would wash away the filth the remembrance of Stavros’ slimy body on hers always conjured up.  Could she dare to hope Marcy meant what she said?  Oh there is no doubt she meant it, but when push comes to shove, and she learns the truth, can she be expected to follow through with her promise?  Could anyone be expected to stay under these circumstances? 

"I don’t know, I just don’t know."  Marcy came into the room.

"Don’t know what?"  Kat hadn’t realized she’d spoken her fears out loud.

"If, after what I have to tell you, you could possibly want to stay with me."  Marcy gently cupped Kat’s face in her hand, and then pulled the dark haired beauty down for a tender kiss.

"Count on it," she whispered. "Now get going; the food’s here.  I’ll be out in a sec."  When Kat returned to the living room, the valet was putting the finishing touches on their dinner.

"Will there be anything else Miss Katrina?" the young man asked.  Kat remembered the young man from her many frequent visits to the Hotel Napoli.  She walked to her purse and withdrew a one hundred-dollar bill and handed it to the valet.

"No, thank you Mario.  Everything looks fine."  As he turned to go, Kat added.  "Mario, please tell Vincenti everything is fine, and we’ll have dinner together when we return from Capri. Oh and have the front desk hold all our calls please."  The young man nodded. 

"Anything for you Miss Katrina."  Marcy entered the room, and didn’t miss the look of shear adoration on the teenager’s face.  She snagged a ripe strawberry, and shared it with her lover.

"Hmmm, these are really good.  By the way, am I gonna have to hurt that young boy?  Is there something here you’ve neglected to tell me?  You don’t swing both ways do you?"  As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Marcy wished she could take them back. "Oh baby, I’m sorry.  I was just trying to be cute, and it backfired.  Please forgive me, I’m so sorry."  Kat dropped to the couch, a defeated sign escaping through her lips.

"I’ve only been with one man: Stavros.  I was only fifteen when it all started.  That was before mamma married the bastard.  I was young, and stupid.  I didn’t know any better, and I missed my papa so much.  I thought he could be the father figure I missed so much.  I was out in the practice ring riding the first time I saw him.  If only I had known..."

            "Hey Katrina, c’mere.  I want you to met someone," Miklos was talking with a tall, handsome dark haired man in his early thirties.  Kat kneed her horse over to the fence where the two men were standing.

            "Stavros, this is my sister Katrina Maria, we call her Kat.  Kat this is Demitri Stefano Stavros.  Stavros will be taking over in an advisory role in the business.  Temporarily, of course.  With the terms of papa’s will, we can do nothing without you and mamma’s okay." 

Stavros stood there eyeing me up and down; that was the first time I’d seen that cocky smile.  I should have followed my instincts, and slapped him senseless and sent him on his way.

"Ah Katrina, your mother and brother have told me so much about you, I feel I know you already, and I’m sure we’ll become very close friends.  I see you enjoy riding; so do I, very much."  Miklos couldn’t miss the lust in Stavros eyes as he ogled Kat.  He wondered if his innocent sister could see it too.  Probably not.

"Yes, well I have a show this weekend, and I must get Elan ready, so if you’ll excuse me, I must go.  Nice to have met you, I’m sure I’ll be seeing more of you."  Oh little girl you can count on it, Stavros thought.

"At first, Stavros was just a cocky conceited jerk, nothing I couldn’t handle, but later his advances became more and more demanding, and usually when no one was around.  "You know in the stables, or by the pool.  One day, I had just finished working Elan, and was in the process of putting her away-"

"Is there anything special you want me to do for her Miss Katrina?" Petra asked. 

"No, Petra thank you, just the usual, but you might give her a little extra ration of grain.  She worked really well today, didn’t you girl."  The huge animal nudged the girl playfully looking for the treat she knew was in the girl’s pocket.  "Y’know, you are just too spoiled.  Here ya go, but no more, you’ll get too fat and then you won’t be able to clear the fences."  With one last pat, the girl turned to go.  "Later Petra."  But the groom hadn’t heard the girl’s call.  An unseen assailant had knocked him unconscious, and the unsuspecting girl was alone.

"Ah Katrina, I thought I’d find you here."  Stavros had entered the barn, and closed the door behind him.  When he latched the door, Kat knew she was in trouble.  She hoped bravado would help her out, but she was so wrong.

"Stavros, if you’ll forgive me, I have to get back to the house.  Mamma is expecting me to help her with the invitations for the gala this weekend."  Stavros wouldn’t be dissuaded.

"My darling Kat, your mamma will not miss you.  You see she was called away to visit a very sick friend.  You and I have all afternoon to get better acquainted.  I think it is time we become closer.  I feel you have been avoiding me, and since your mamma and I will be wed soon, we will be family, and family should be very close.  If you know what I mean." Kat was in shock.

"Mamma isn’t marrying you, she’d never..."  Stavros stopped her in mid word.

"That’s where you are wrong, my little Kat, your mamma realizes she cannot run a huge shipping business like your papa’s.  She needs my help."  Stavros had moved closer to Kat, and ran the back of his hand up and down along Kat’s jaw.  Kat shrunk away from the touch, but received a vicious slap for her trouble.  "Please don’t make me hurt you Katrina, I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if you force me to.  You must understand; soon everything that once belonged to your father will be mine, everything."  Kat struggled to free herself from Stavros’ rough embrace, but could not.  And then in an instant her world went black.

"Very good Miklos, the sedative will make my little Kat much more pliant and agreeable."  Stavros nodded to his lieutenant, and two big burly bodyguards picked up Kat’s limp body and carried her away.

"She won’t be harmed, you promised you wouldn’t hurt her." Miklos whined.

"My dear Miklos, do you think I am foolish.  Do you think I would hurt my meal ticket?   With Kat under my control, your mother will be putty in my hands, and we will be free to carry out our plan to destroy Andreas Enterprises and avenge my father.  Now do as you’re told, and you will be a very wealthy, powerful man."  

"Oh Marcy, that was just the beginning, and the next two years were a living hell.  He did things to me, to my body-"  I was unable to speak more than a few words, at a time before I would break down and sob.  But my baby never let go of me.  She held me close, stroking my hair, by back, kissing my head, anything to convey how much she loved me and would never leave me.  Through her love, I gained the strength to continue my story.

"-made me do things to him and for him.  She forced me to ser---v-service other men and women while he watched.  He always used a mild sedative to make my body relax so I would still be alert and subject myself willingly to his ministrations.  He wanted me to feel everything too, so he used an aphrodisiac that made my body respond sexually.  I couldn’t control my body’s needs, and soon I’d beg him to-to-Oh God Marcy, I tried to-to-fight him, but I was too weak.  Oh God, I tried."  Again, I broke down as the convul-sive sobs overtook my body.  Marcy’s voice soothed my ravaged spirit.

"Oh my love, none of what happened to you was your fault.  You were an innocent young girl.  He is a sick, evil man, and he used you for his sick games.  My darling listen to me.  YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR ANY OF THIS!!  I want you to understand that, because it is the truth."  I looked into my love’s eyes, and wanted so much to believe, but there was more.

"I wish that were all there was to it, but there’s more my love, and after I’m finished telling you the rest, I won’t blame you if you ran away from me, and never wanted to have anything to do with me again."  Marce  just shook her head.

"Don’t you know by now, there is absolutely nothing you could say or do, in the past, now or in the future, that could ever cause me to leave you?  I’m afraid you’re stuck with me."  My baby leaned in and kissed the tears lovingly from my face.  We’ll see, won’t we?

"Marcy, I’ve killed for Stavros.  He is in to every illegal activity you can imagine: smuggling, drugs, prostitution, and also runs one of the biggest slavery rings in the world, and using papa’s company as a front.  He ships his illegal cargo, both human and non-human, in the holds of the oil tankers.  But so far, the authorities can not get anything on him to arrest him.  Anyway, besides using me----sexually, he turned me into an assassin.  I was his insurance policy if anything went wrong with his little schemes.  Since mamma and I were still the major stockholders in Andreas Enterprises, if he was caught, mamma and I would go down with him.  He knew I would do anything in my power to protect mamma."  Marcy’s face was filled with anger and disgust.  I knew it; she hates me now.  Well I have nothing to loose now, I might as well go on with it.  But her next words shocked me no end.

"That despicable bastard, using your own mother against you.  He is the lowest form of life.  Let’s go!  You hold him while I gouge out his eyes, and cut off his balls---very slowly!"  My lover was serious; she was ready to maim another human being for me.  What have I done?  I pulled her back down to the couch and calmed her down.

"Look, you leave Stavros to me; I’ll handle him."  I hung my head, not sure how I deserved Marcy’s love after everything I’d done.  She lifted my chin and placed a tender kiss on my swollen lips.

"Okay, but if you need back up, I’ll be there, right by your side.  Can you tell me the rest?"  I nodded slowly, and finished my narrative.

"A drug deal went sour, and the police were there to break it up.  Stavros and I got away, but the undercover cop wasn’t so lucky.  Somehow his cover was blown, and Stavros had him in one of the warehouses on the docks in the harbor.  That bastard had me hooked on drugs, and under his complete control.  He encouraged my dark side to come out with the promise of wealth and power..." 

"So I did what he wanted.  His bully-boys had beaten the man badly, and by the time I was through with him, he was begging me to kill him.  So I did.  I put a gun to his head, and simply pulled the trigger and splattered his brains all over the warehouse wall.  I was so full of rage and anger, from the loss of my father, and Stavros manipulations; I would have done anything he asked." 

"After a kill, I was filled with battle lust, and that’s when Stavros had me.  He didn’t need the drugs then; I wanted him, his power, and his body.  After that time, whenever we had sex, he didn’t use drugs, or the aphrodisiac; he didn’t need them.  I was his." 

"That was my first kill, but it wasn’t my last.  For the next year, I was his lieutenant; I had killed the last at Stavros’ command.  But then, just before mamma and Stavros were to be married, the police came to visit me.  My younger brother Anton was found dead.  He had been executed, mob style, and that’s when I-I-I don’t know-I guess I woke up.  My little brother was the only thing in my life that meant anything to me, besides mamma, and now he too was gone." 

"I told the police everything I knew, all of it.  The killings, the drugs, everything I knew I told them in exchange, for immunity from prosecution.  They agreed, if I would switch sides and work for them.  You see even with my testimony, we had no proof, and no solid evidence to convict the bastard.  The police assured me the people I killed were of no consequence.  With the exception of the undercover cop, and they explained, he was expendable, they were all criminals.  How’s that for placing value on life.  Torture and murder is okay as long as it’s done for the right side.  Oh my God, Marce, I feel so dirty.  No matter what I do, I’ll never be able to wash the blood from my hands, or the slime from my body."  Well that’s it the whole gory, sordid story; now Marcy it’s up to you.  My baby got up and walked over to the window and looked out.  When she turned, tears were tracking down her sweet face.

"Does Travis know anything about this?"  I didn’t know how I would be able to tell my baby the rest.

"The authorities told me to disassociate myself from Stavros and the family.  The argument that caused the rift between mamma and me was legitimate.  I was given a passport and was helped out of Greece and into America.  Virginia was a suitable place to settle because it was close to Washington D.C. where the FBI, and other agencies I would be working for were located.  It wasn’t just dumb luck that Travis and El took me in; Worth is my main contact.  Our relationship is real though.  He means the world to me, and I would die to protect him.  My training business and show career is the perfect cover.  It allows me to travel all over the world, rub elbows with the beautiful people, and still be where ever Stavros is, and keep track of his business dealings without any suspicion.  We’re getting close now, and after all these years, we’ve finally got something concrete on that bastard.  And I’m gonna take him down." My voice was menacing, dripping with hatred, cold malicious hate.  The look in my baby’s eye was one I never wanted to put there, but I did.  Fear: she was afraid of me.