Eats

ForevaXena's FanFic . . .

Disclaimer: Xena and Gabrielle belong to their creators at Ren Pic. I'm only borrowing them to use in my imagination. I promise to return them only a bit worse for wear (tired but happy).

Type: Humor

Sex: None

Violence: None

Ick Factor: Implied. Nothing graphic.

This is a response to a writing exercise on the Ex-Guards mailing list..

Xena and Gabrielle stopped in Illiopolis for supplies. The ex-warlord hated shopping unless she was buying weapons or leather or some other soldier type thing.

Food and supplies were Gabrielle's specialty. The only problem being that it took her forever because she had to snoop in every booth no matter what the merchant was selling. After a quick look around Xena saw that there was nothing of interest here. At least not for her. She saw the blond head amid a small crowd at a booth on the other side of the market place.

"What have you found?" she asked when she reached her side. "Look at those, aren't they great?" Gabrielle said enthusiastically, pointing to the table. Xena peered over the other women's' heads to see an assortment of mysterious doo dads laying on a colorful cloth.

The women chattered and smiled as they picked them up to examine them. And buy them.

The merchant and his journeyman took money and handed back change at an impressive rate, all the while answering all the questions directed at them.

"What are they?" Xena asked, unable to determine a use for the odd looking things.

Gabrielle picked one up and showed it to her. "Some of them are toys, some are for cooking and some..." She turned the curious thing over in her fingers. "I don't know what they're for.

But isn't it neat!?" "Yeah, fascinating," Xena drawled.

Gabrielle pouted and frowned. "You're no fun sometimes, ya know that?" Xena's blue eyes twinkled a second before she bent over to whisper in Gabrielle's ear.

"That's not what you said last night." The bard turned a becoming shade of pink which slowly spread from her hairline to her chest.

"Stop that. Yeesh, I can't take you anywhere!"

"Yes you can," Xena whispered back. "Any time, anywhere, any way."

Gabrielle went from pink to positively red. She jabbed the leather clad ribs. "Stop that!" she hissed.

Xena resisted the urge to tousle her soulmate's hair. Ever since Gabrielle had cut, she wanted to ruffle it and play with it every chance she got.

"Ok, I'll be good." she replied, sighing dramatically.

"That'll be the day," Gabrielle snorted.

With everyone's attention on the merchandise, Xena planted a quick kiss on the top of her bard's head, taking a sniff of the scent which drove her wild every time she smelled it. "Ok, come and get me when you're through. I'll be at the tavern.... eating lunch."

"Will do." Gabrielle replied absently, still perusing the gadget in her hand.

Xena gave her hand a squeeze, which the bard returned, and dodged her way through the crowded market place to the tavern. She asked for a mug of port, and while it was being poured, she saw a bowl on the bar. She took a closer look, then sniffed. "No way...." She peeked closer and grinned. "Got more
of this?" she asked the bartender.

"Sure. For here or to go?"

"To go." "How much?"

She glanced at the bowl. "About half of what's in there." "Will do. Anything else?"

"Not yet. I'll want two bowls of stew and some nutbread when my friend joins me."

He disappeared into the back and returned with a small jar. "Ok. Here ya go."

She tucked the jar into her cleavage, eliciting a wide eyed glance from the appreciative bartender, then took the mug and sat down to wait her lovely other half to arrive.

After lunch they took to the road again. "See what I got?" Gabrielle chirped.

The bard seldom chirped the way she used to, and Xena missed it. "What is it?" Xena asked.

Gabrielle grinned like a girl. "It's a toy.. A puzzle. You take it apart.. Like this." She pulled several appendages and the thing collapsed into a pile of interlocking, intertwining wires.

"And then you have to put it back together." Xena frowned. "How much did you pay for it?"

"Only a dinar. Everyone else paid three." "How did you manage that?" "I told the journey man he was cute.. Batted my eyelashes. Works every time." Xena could only roll her eyes.

They looked at each at each and said, at the same time, "Men!"

They set up camp that evening and ate leftovers from lunch which Gabrielle had squirreled away. That way Xena didn't have to hunt. Full and content, Gabrielle leaned back against a tree.

Xena sat next to her and stuck her hand down the front of her leathers.

"Isn't that my job?" Gabrielle inquired, watching closely.

"Not this time."

Now eaten with curiosity, Gabrielle leaned forward. "What are you doing?"

Xena merely smirked and continued fishing around until she found what she was searching for. "Got it."

She pulled the little jar out and held it up. "What is it?" Gabrielle asked.

Xena didn't say anything but removed the top and sniffed. "Ah!"

"What IS it?" Gabrielle repeated, bending forward. Xena dipped her fingers into the jar and pulled something out. She watched as the aroma reached her lover's nose. The bard snorted and made a face, then pinched her nose.

"What IS that?!" she asked, waving the air away from her.

Xena held the thing closer so Gabrielle could see it in the firelight. Gabrielle looked closer, her eyes growing wide. In a blink she was backed against the tree trying to get as far away from it as possible. "That's disgusting!!!"

"No it's not, it's good."

"Yuck!"

Xena held it to her nose and inhaled. "Yum!"

"You are sick, Xena, sick. Do you hear me!" Gabrielle looked as if she were about to throw up.

Before the bard's horrified eyes, her lover flicked the nauseating thing with her tongue...

And then she ate it.

THE END

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